Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as 或者 更多 beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do 你 stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do 你 irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.

Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how 你 feel about that".

I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!


Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
爱情 Edward


I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.

Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.

Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?


Boy: 你 know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but 你 still like to look at those!


Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
It's called "Daughter of Darkness" 由 V.C. Andrews.

This book was just aweful. It's about a 17 年 old vampire girl named Lorelie Patio (Mary Sue alert!) whos only purpose in life is to be her Daddy's sex slave. This book is filled with shallow evaluations of beauty, anti feminism, poor morals, and disgusting turn of events.

Lorelie has three sisters who are manipulated and emotionally abused 由 their father. The worst thing about it is that it's never seen as a bad thing. It's disguised as fatherly love. None of the characters recognize the manipulation 或者 abuse. 你 have to read between the...
continue reading...
This is under 'opinion' so please don't send any hate, it's just a though I had.

I have read various explainations both on this site and others about things antis point out as plot holes. (Ex: Renessme, Imprinting, Vampire Transformation, ect.) And I think that it's great that some people do think it through and don't just take it because it is what was written. What I don't understand is why 你 should have too.

In my mind, when an 作者 creates a story with a new 或者 different breed of creature they should explain it atleast to some degree.

I'm not saying she needs to explain every little thing,...
continue reading...
posted by XxGigglesxX
1. Twilight is the product of an immature writer. It reads like something out of my notebook from freshman year.
2. The only difference between Twilight and fanfiction.net is marginally better grammar.
3. And even that isn’t so great sometimes. English major fail.
4. I’ve read fanfiction that is lightyears better than Twitripe.
5. The prose is purple amethyst! Deep, luscious, dazzling amethyst that scintillates and glitters incandescently in the sun!
6. Not to mention, it’s also insanely repetitive.
7. THESAURUS ABUSE! Fancy words are not necessarily better words.
8. The storyline is trite and...
continue reading...
Why this hater doesn't like Twilight.....
video
twilight
吸血鬼
criticism
critical analysis
斯蒂芬妮·梅耶
added by marthatsal
posted by TriaRose
Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As 你 have probably guessed, I am 写作 to 你 concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the 图书 as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 或者 so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then 你 throw in three...
continue reading...
After 阅读 the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" 由 bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella 天鹅 a heroine. If 你 do, 你 have got a really great deal of imagination, 或者 a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight 粉丝 would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...
continue reading...
Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the 作者 of Twilight 或者 her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this 文章 is purely academic speculation inspired 由 a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every 粉丝 knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...
continue reading...
Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the 粉丝 base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
continue reading...
Disclaimer: The 标题 of the 文章 may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my 文章 that I have 发布 on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to 列表 my 最佳, 返回页首 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
continue reading...
A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
video
parody
funny
trailer
breaking
dawn
twilight
jacob
renesmee
added by maritina12345
video
video
twilight
eclipse
movie
rating
review
rotten tomatoes 显示
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but 更多 often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would 吸血鬼 go to high school?”, 或者 “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, 或者 can be logically theorized. These are usually followed 由 “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, 或者 “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, 或者 my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
continue reading...
Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if 你 don't mind the lulz.
video
twilight
funny
parody
hitler
破晓
斯蒂芬妮·梅耶
dazzling
criticism
added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete 狼人 have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
continue reading...