I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com
How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen
What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as 或者 更多 beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!
How do 你 stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!
How do 你 irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.
Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how 你 feel about that".
I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!
Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
爱情 Edward
I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.
Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.
Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?
Boy: 你 know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but 你 still like to look at those!
Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com
How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen
What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as 或者 更多 beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!
How do 你 stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!
How do 你 irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.
Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows "how 你 feel about that".
I keep wanting to steal Jasper
but everytime I go to his bedroom window
Alice is waiting with a baseball bat...
how does she kno... oh yeah!!!
Dear Diary,
I would like to La Push Jacob of a cliff.
爱情 Edward
I went to La Push Washington, and all I got was this stupid imprint.
Jasper Hales first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors.
Tips for guys trying to find a girlfriend:
1. Read the Twilight Saga.
2. Watch Twilight movies.
3. In every real-life situation, think, "What would Edward do?
Boy: 你 know Edward Cullen isn't real, right?
Girl: Well fake boobs aren't real, but 你 still like to look at those!
Dear Edward,
Thanks a lot...
sincerely,
Guys everywhere
I was in the eleventh grade when I first read the fourth book : Breaking Dawn. Here I will express my opinion about it.
I liked actually the first parts of the book,they really got me interested and then when I read the other chapters of the book I got really,really bored and almost fell asleep. I think that it was very good that Bella finally became a vampire because it was time for her to overcome her fear and insecurities.
I wondered what would have happened if Bella had made an abortion and haven't 给 birth to that spawn. It would be very interesting if that had happened. Actually I liked the book better than the film and I liked only the first part of the film because it was 更多 interesting and had some kind of storyline.
I personally regret having watched the 秒 part of the film .
I liked actually the first parts of the book,they really got me interested and then when I read the other chapters of the book I got really,really bored and almost fell asleep. I think that it was very good that Bella finally became a vampire because it was time for her to overcome her fear and insecurities.
I wondered what would have happened if Bella had made an abortion and haven't 给 birth to that spawn. It would be very interesting if that had happened. Actually I liked the book better than the film and I liked only the first part of the film because it was 更多 interesting and had some kind of storyline.
I personally regret having watched the 秒 part of the film .
Edward: The covesation's really good.
Bella: Uh huh.*gets another call*
Jake
Bella: *rejects call*
Edward: Who was that?
Bella: Jacob...
They talked for days.
Jacob: *growls*WHY WILL THEY SHUT UP!
*makes an new answering machine*
Bella: I gotta go. *makes a 接吻 sound and hangs up*
15 Missed Calls
Bella: Alright 你 win!
*calls him*
Jacob: 嘿 its Jacob. If its Bella, STFU and if its the pack, leave the message.
Bella: *waits for tone*
1 小时 Later
Bella: Forget it!*hangs up*
Phone: *tone*
Bella: T.T
Jacob: *laughs histericly*
Bella: Uh huh.*gets another call*
Jake
Bella: *rejects call*
Edward: Who was that?
Bella: Jacob...
They talked for days.
Jacob: *growls*WHY WILL THEY SHUT UP!
*makes an new answering machine*
Bella: I gotta go. *makes a 接吻 sound and hangs up*
15 Missed Calls
Bella: Alright 你 win!
*calls him*
Jacob: 嘿 its Jacob. If its Bella, STFU and if its the pack, leave the message.
Bella: *waits for tone*
1 小时 Later
Bella: Forget it!*hangs up*
Phone: *tone*
Bella: T.T
Jacob: *laughs histericly*
On this beautiful spot of fanpop, there's a video link to "Charlie reads Twilight". Originally its "Alex read Twilight". Anyways, I checked it out.
It's this guy, he's about 20 years old I'd say, and he bought himself a copy of Twilight. He reads this on camera, making his comments, one chapter per video. And he's absolutely HILARIOUS! He points out things like odd phrases ("the sun was at the wrong place in the sky") and grammar faults. He sees little things 你 might not have found yourself.
The 视频 do contain a bit of swearing but other then that, they are mostly all right.
It's this guy, he's about 20 years old I'd say, and he bought himself a copy of Twilight. He reads this on camera, making his comments, one chapter per video. And he's absolutely HILARIOUS! He points out things like odd phrases ("the sun was at the wrong place in the sky") and grammar faults. He sees little things 你 might not have found yourself.
The 视频 do contain a bit of swearing but other then that, they are mostly all right.