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What cha think?!?!

Okay so this is part of a story idea I wanna do tell me what 你 like don't like so on please!?

Chapter 1
My name is Chloe. I don't have a last name nor do I know what that is just read about them being used in the past. My family unit is know 由 the number we have so we are number 9054602 but once I'm married off to someone my family approves of my new family gets there own number 由 me taking his first three digits and keeping the last four of my own but we both increase the end number 由 one. So when I get married my family number would be three digits of his and then 4603. The only reason we have these numbers is so that when we shut down completely the government has a record of us being alive. They say that in the past everyone had these numbers but no one really used them like we do now. Even in the school building we are arranged 由 our numbers. As 你 see having these numbers are a big thing here.

Where I live everything is technology. Everyone's house can talk and 你 are only allowed to have up to five humans within each household. There's no violence and so that means everyone is happy all the time. Unlike how things used to be in the past were-as everyone looked different from each other, now everyone looks almost the same. The only thing that makes us different is our skin tone and our arm wire we have installed as babies. They put these arm wire things in our right arm so that the government can keep track of us also it takes all feeling from us expect one and that's fear. That's why our families that we live with have to approve the person we marry and vise versa just so that our population doesn't die out. Once we start to not be able to do such things is when we are shut down for good. There's no longer a 日 where we celebrate the 日 we were started up but every 年 we do have to get an upgrade so that upgrade is like our birthday. We are surrounded 由 the forest and it's against the rules to go off in the forest without report
 fufe123 posted 一年多以前
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写作 答案

peaceanddeath said:
I like it a lot so far. The only thing I would change would be starting in a different place than just a name. Maybe 你 could explain this all after some kind of event.
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posted 一年多以前 
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