This chapter features Achmed the Dead Terrorist!!!!! yay!
TEXTING, BTW!
Edward: bella, my cat died
Bella: u don't have a cat...unless 你 mean...ALICE??!! alice is dead? omgomgoommmgggggggg
Edward: Noooo!!!!!!!!!
Bella: oh. cuz, like, i'd be all sad and stuff. ya know?
Edward: yes, i would be 2. alice is fine. jk, btw- (BEFORE HE FINISHES TEXTING)
Bella: u haven't texted in a while! alice is dead??!!!!
Edward: i was kidding. my dog died
Bella: meaning...jacob??!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Edward: No!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Bella: oh, jake's texting me. hold on.
Edward: k, love
Jacob: 嘿 bells
Bella: jacob! *virtual hug*
Jacob: okay then. little weird, but i'll take it. *virtual hug back*
Bella: brb, i feel sad again
Jacob: k, edward's texting me...
Bella: ...
Edward: hello, jacob. notice anything wierd about bella 2day
Jacob: yeah, kinda. mood swings and such
Edward: i think it's...uhh..that time of the 月 for her *virtual coughcoughperiodcoughcough*
Jacob: wha--ohh!!! *virtual blush* did i just blush? i thought only bella did that...
Edward: jacob, what do we do??????
Jacob: dude, we can't do anything. i have sisters, i should know
Edward: i have sisters 2
Jacob: sisters that are unchanging, idiot
Edward: obviously
Jacob: whatevs
Edward: i'll text alice. she'll know what 2 do
Jacob: kk.
Edward: HELP!!!!!!
Alice: calm urself, dude. whatta ya want?
Edward: it's bella's time of the month
Alice: OHHH!!!!!!!! LOL! sux 4 u, bro. have fun with ur PMSing GF
Edward: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice. Ugh, fine. i'll txt her
Edward: k, thanks!!!!! bye
Alice: bye
Alice: 嘿 bellaaaaa
Bella: heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Alice: i hear ur PMSing
Bella: where'd ya hear that??!!
Alice: my idiot bro (the one ur dating, not emmett). i think he told the dog, considering i can't c him doing anything
Bella: *virtual blush* ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he told jacob! edward knows! ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice: he's very observent, that boy is.
Bella: i am going 2 die of blushing
Alice: even knowing u, that's not possible. hey, jessica is on facebook. she wants 2 know if u like pampers 或者 huggies
Bella: WHAAAAT??!!
Alice: well, which 1?
Bella: huggies, i guess
Alice: they give hugs :)
Bella: stop distracting me, bitch
Alice: Exqueeze me?
Bella: ur mom, dude. ur mom...
Alice: ur insane dude, ur insane
Bella: aww, thank u!
Alice: *gets Keith Urban country drawl* i am a country singer, i 爱情 my old blue jeans! let's drink beeeeeeeeeeeer all night, baby!!!!!
Bella: woah...
Alice: lolz.
Bella: i gtg, jake is txting me.
Alice: k, byez
Jacob: 嘿 bellaaaaa
Bella: hey
Jacob: what duz PMSing feel like?
Bella: jacob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacob: hold on, achmed is texting me and u. some new thing called group text.
Bella: ...achmed?...
Jacob: the dead terrorist.
Bella: OHH, that achmed
Jacob: 嘿 achy
Achmed: I KILL YOU!
Bella: what the fuck?
Jacob: well, bye
Achmed: bye
Bella: hi
________________________________________
I know, I know, horrible horrible horrible
LOL
TEXTING, BTW!
Edward: bella, my cat died
Bella: u don't have a cat...unless 你 mean...ALICE??!! alice is dead? omgomgoommmgggggggg
Edward: Noooo!!!!!!!!!
Bella: oh. cuz, like, i'd be all sad and stuff. ya know?
Edward: yes, i would be 2. alice is fine. jk, btw- (BEFORE HE FINISHES TEXTING)
Bella: u haven't texted in a while! alice is dead??!!!!
Edward: i was kidding. my dog died
Bella: meaning...jacob??!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Edward: No!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Bella: oh, jake's texting me. hold on.
Edward: k, love
Jacob: 嘿 bells
Bella: jacob! *virtual hug*
Jacob: okay then. little weird, but i'll take it. *virtual hug back*
Bella: brb, i feel sad again
Jacob: k, edward's texting me...
Bella: ...
Edward: hello, jacob. notice anything wierd about bella 2day
Jacob: yeah, kinda. mood swings and such
Edward: i think it's...uhh..that time of the 月 for her *virtual coughcoughperiodcoughcough*
Jacob: wha--ohh!!! *virtual blush* did i just blush? i thought only bella did that...
Edward: jacob, what do we do??????
Jacob: dude, we can't do anything. i have sisters, i should know
Edward: i have sisters 2
Jacob: sisters that are unchanging, idiot
Edward: obviously
Jacob: whatevs
Edward: i'll text alice. she'll know what 2 do
Jacob: kk.
Edward: HELP!!!!!!
Alice: calm urself, dude. whatta ya want?
Edward: it's bella's time of the month
Alice: OHHH!!!!!!!! LOL! sux 4 u, bro. have fun with ur PMSing GF
Edward: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice. Ugh, fine. i'll txt her
Edward: k, thanks!!!!! bye
Alice: bye
Alice: 嘿 bellaaaaa
Bella: heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Alice: i hear ur PMSing
Bella: where'd ya hear that??!!
Alice: my idiot bro (the one ur dating, not emmett). i think he told the dog, considering i can't c him doing anything
Bella: *virtual blush* ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he told jacob! edward knows! ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice: he's very observent, that boy is.
Bella: i am going 2 die of blushing
Alice: even knowing u, that's not possible. hey, jessica is on facebook. she wants 2 know if u like pampers 或者 huggies
Bella: WHAAAAT??!!
Alice: well, which 1?
Bella: huggies, i guess
Alice: they give hugs :)
Bella: stop distracting me, bitch
Alice: Exqueeze me?
Bella: ur mom, dude. ur mom...
Alice: ur insane dude, ur insane
Bella: aww, thank u!
Alice: *gets Keith Urban country drawl* i am a country singer, i 爱情 my old blue jeans! let's drink beeeeeeeeeeeer all night, baby!!!!!
Bella: woah...
Alice: lolz.
Bella: i gtg, jake is txting me.
Alice: k, byez
Jacob: 嘿 bellaaaaa
Bella: hey
Jacob: what duz PMSing feel like?
Bella: jacob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jacob: hold on, achmed is texting me and u. some new thing called group text.
Bella: ...achmed?...
Jacob: the dead terrorist.
Bella: OHH, that achmed
Jacob: 嘿 achy
Achmed: I KILL YOU!
Bella: what the fuck?
Jacob: well, bye
Achmed: bye
Bella: hi
________________________________________
I know, I know, horrible horrible horrible
LOL
Renesmee's Opinion
I think if 你 read renesmeblack's chapters of my story, you'll understand this better. It's almst like we're the same person! Ha,ha...
Here is a 列表 why I don't have a very great relationship with my dad:
1. My dad pries into every detail when we talk.
2. My dad pries into every detail when we DON'T talk.
3. Have 你 seen the way he acts around my mom? Ew.
4. He SEES everything...
5. He's embarrassing when my 老友记 are around.
6. He HATES my boyfriend.
7. He'd rather I go out with dorky John Newton. (Name sound familiar?)
8. He looks like he's ready to 冲床 Jacob.
9. He's a worrywart.
10. My dad would rather I'm on the sidelines when they play baseball... with Jacob playing.
11. He's plain creepy... My best friend chickened out on my slumber party. MY BEST FRIEND!!!
12. He want a full-blown update of my school days-I can't lie about 接吻 Jake, so I don't bother.
That reason enough for ya? Oop, I hear him coming up. Bye!
I think if 你 read renesmeblack's chapters of my story, you'll understand this better. It's almst like we're the same person! Ha,ha...
Here is a 列表 why I don't have a very great relationship with my dad:
1. My dad pries into every detail when we talk.
2. My dad pries into every detail when we DON'T talk.
3. Have 你 seen the way he acts around my mom? Ew.
4. He SEES everything...
5. He's embarrassing when my 老友记 are around.
6. He HATES my boyfriend.
7. He'd rather I go out with dorky John Newton. (Name sound familiar?)
8. He looks like he's ready to 冲床 Jacob.
9. He's a worrywart.
10. My dad would rather I'm on the sidelines when they play baseball... with Jacob playing.
11. He's plain creepy... My best friend chickened out on my slumber party. MY BEST FRIEND!!!
12. He want a full-blown update of my school days-I can't lie about 接吻 Jake, so I don't bother.
That reason enough for ya? Oop, I hear him coming up. Bye!