#1:
Critic: So our story begins when they spot two children who, 你 guessed it, stopped caring.
Friend Bear: Hi. I'm Friend Bear, and this is Secret Bear. We're Care Bears. (both stand up and pose)
Jason: (in disgusted tone) What do 你 want?
Friend Bear: Only to be your friends.
NC (vo): Actually, I always wondered what counted as quote/unquote "Caring." I mean, if I'm ordering a 比萨, 比萨饼 with a friend, is it like...
[Cuts to skit with two NCs talking to each other]
NC 1: Hey, what kind of toppings 你 want?
NC 2: Eh, I don't care. (In panicked tone) No, no, wait! I didn't mea- (sparkling effects sound and NC moans lightly).
Care 熊 (off-screen): Hi. We're the Care Bears, and everybody has to care about something--
(NC brings out his gun and starts shooting at the Care Bears as they are heard screaming.
#2:
NC: 你 know...dick. Cause that's what 你 are, a fucking dick. When 你 显示 this image of the American flag destroyed...
(Such an image is shown)
NC (vo): ...you're not just 展示 your dollar store symbolism that says "ooh, America's hurt."
NC: But, it's very clear that what is important to 你 is not how 你 view America. What is important to 你 is how others see 你 viewing America. So, 你 can make up whatever 你 want. 你 can fabricate things, 你 can lie about history.
(The hospital attack is shown)
NC (vo): 你 can exaggerate, 你 can glorify, 你 can demonize, 你 can distort the facts.
NC: 你 can make up the truth. Make up the truth about people who 迷失 their lives in this great tragedy. Why? Because you're doing it in the name that 你 (thumping his chest) fuck 爱情 America. (now in full-on serious mode) I'm sorry! I-I-I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? These are people who have 迷失 their lives, people who have been drafted, people who volunteered, people putting their 屁股 on the line, and many of them don't come back! You're taking it upon yourself to 显示 that! And, I-I know what you're thinking, yeah, you're thinking, "Well, I'll just make up people, because they weren't really there, so I can do whatever I want with them, I can make shit up." And granted, 你 don't deserve the responsibility to 显示 real events. 你 don't live in the real world! But what happens is that when 你 take it and base it on a real event, 你 have to 显示 these real people. 你 have to get it right, Michael Bay! 你 have to get it right! Because this, this isn't Transformers, okay? That's kid's shit, 你 can do whatever 你 want. It's not The Rock! It's not Sean Connery saying "winners fuck the prom queen!" No, it's fuck Pearl Harbor! Reality! It actually happened! And I know you're thinking, "Well, it's Hollywood, we take liberties." Fuck you, it's not Hollywood! When 你 take it upon yourself to represent something that really happened and is still painful and hurts a lot of people, that means 你 have to do two things. One, 你 have to grow up and be an adult! Two, 你 have to actually represent these people as best as humanly possible, 你 SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!
#3:
Maxie: (narrates) Hortense and Bernice married Kirk and Dirk, who are gloatingly thinking they've got it made. And here we have the ecstatic newlyweds Angelica and William, together with Mother Nanny, Granny, Victoria and the grandchildren, and the dalmatians and their children. Well, here's hoping they all live happily ever after. See 你 soon.
NC: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?! What the hell is wrong with you?! This isn't a postcard! This is the sinking of the fucking Titanic! If 你 wanted to be really faithful, 你 would've said…
NC (voiceover): (as Maxie) Kirk and 短剑, 德克 got married to the evil stepsisters, William and Angelica married, as well as adopted the two Dalmatians, (An old black-and-white illustration of the real-life 泰坦尼克号 sinking is shown) and over 1,500 died in one of the world's largest and most tragic disasters. See 你 soon!
#4:
Nostalgia Critic: So the old wins in this situation. Does that mean I don't like "The Dark Knight"? Not at all. I just like "Batman" a little more. And, uh, my only hope is that Christian Bale doesn't take what I 说 about him too seriously— [The Critic's cell phone rings] 'Scuse me. [Opens and 答案 it] Hello?
Christian Bale: [Utilizing audio from his infamous rant] What the fuck are 你 DOING?!
Nostalgia Critic: I'm sorry, man, I just thought—
Christian Bale: No, don't just be sorry. THINK for one fuckin' second!
Nostalgia Critic: Well that's not very nice.
Christian Bale: What the fuck is it with you? Are 你 professional 或者 not?
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I don't like to brag, but—
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake, man, you're amateur!
Nostalgia Critic: Look, I don't know why you're getting so angry—
Christian Bale: No, shut the fuck up!
Nostalgia Critic: Maybe I could, uh—
Christian Bale: No! NO!! I wanna fuckin' kick your fuckin' ass!
Nostalgia Critic: Why are 你 so angry? I just don't get it.
Christian Bale: What don't 你 get about it?
Nostalgia Critic: Hold on, hold on. [Addresses the viewers] I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so 你 don't have to. [Resumes the call]
Christian Bale: Gimme a fuckin' answer!
Nostalgia Critic: I just don't get why 你 made 蝙蝠侠 sound like he had lung cancer.
Christian Bale: Ohhh, good for you! You're a nice guy.
Nostalgia Critic: Why thank you!
Christian Bale: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Nostalgia Critic: 你 shut up! Go make "Reign of 火, 消防 2"!
Christian Bale: No!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!
Christian Bale: NO!!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!!
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake.
#5:
Nostalgia: Hello, I’m the…Nostalgia Critic. (pauses) I remember it so 你 don’t have to. And… (He looks up to scan the entire group before lowering his head again in a bit of shame and speak quickly) I kinda like “Spider-Man 3.”
(All the people in the group shout in outrage, and one male gets on a 表 to pound on it in rage),
Nostalgia: I do!
#6:
Pistachio: 你 know, I could tell just 由 looking at you. (holds up a mini-corn dog and a small handful of nuts) 你 have a little wiener...and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah.
NC: (bursts into loud, over the top, sarcastic laughter, that gets 更多 and 更多 hysterical, he then gets out of his chair and leaves the room. Cut to outside where Jim Jarosz is on his cell phone when NC comes out with a baseball bat, continuing to laugh hysterically while beating him down. He then sees Prof. Birmingham Dickens.)
Dickens: Oh, hello.
(A crazy-laughing NC runs up to him and beats the professor down as well. NC then looks at the camera like a wild man and starts running towards him as the cameramen tries backing away but is too slow and Critic beats down the cameraman).
NC: (continues to laugh like a maniac as he throws the bat away and walks off screen left. The camera then pans down to the carnage NC has left as we see Prof. Birmingham Dickens put his pipe into his mouth. Cut back to NC's room as he calms down and sits back down in his chair.)
NC: (suddenly conscious) Where was I the last two minutes?
#7:
Nostalgia Critic: Fucking-A, this is My Little 小马 fanfiction! Can't 你 just see an episode ending like that?!
[cuts to a clip of My Little Pony]
Fluttershy: Anyone who would give their soul for love, has the power to change the world! Isn't that right, Ghost 小马 Rider?
Ghost 小马 Rider: (demonic roar)
Fluttershy: Right!
#8:
Critic: FUCJKING BUBBLES!!
#9:
Mark: I used to know this girl who had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
[Johnny laughs]
Nostalgia Critic: That's not funny, 你 sick fuck.
#10:
Denny: I just like to watch 你 guys.
NC: (stunned again) Uhhhhhh...
#11:
Blade: Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to ice-skate uphill...
Nostalgia Critic: That is a really weird note to go out on.
#12:
Pennywise: I’ll 显示 你 how to FLOOOAAAT down here.
Critic: Why doesn’t he just EAT these fucking kids? He’s eaten like half of the other kids in the neighborhood! Why doesn’t he just finish them off? I mean, what the hell is 更多 important in his time?
Critic: (imitates Pennywise) RARRR, I've got 你 now, little boy! (beeping sound, and he looks at his watch) Oh, my God, it’s almost 3:00! (The Critic leaves the screen camera from the left and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song plays.)
#13:
(The 厨房 phone rings, and Tory 答案 it)
Tory: Hello? Hello? Help us, please! Come help us! We’re trapped inside of here!
Pennywise: Do 你 have Prince Albert in a can? 你 do? Well, ya better let the poor guy out! Wha-haw! Wha-Haw! Wha-Haw!
(Tory hangs up and tears the phone off the wall)
#14:
Malus: HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!
Critic: Somebody lit it! Somebody lit it!
#15:
Tender Heart: Magic isn't the answer, Nicholas. Your feelings can help 你 find the true answer.
NC: Yes. Just listen to the magic, talking bear.
#16:
《勇敢传说》 Heart: Everyone in the Forest of Feelings knows of Playful 心 Monkey and 《勇敢传说》 Heart. [Cuts to scene from Mel Gibson's Braveheart]
NC: I know, I know. But how can I not put that in?
Critic: So our story begins when they spot two children who, 你 guessed it, stopped caring.
Friend Bear: Hi. I'm Friend Bear, and this is Secret Bear. We're Care Bears. (both stand up and pose)
Jason: (in disgusted tone) What do 你 want?
Friend Bear: Only to be your friends.
NC (vo): Actually, I always wondered what counted as quote/unquote "Caring." I mean, if I'm ordering a 比萨, 比萨饼 with a friend, is it like...
[Cuts to skit with two NCs talking to each other]
NC 1: Hey, what kind of toppings 你 want?
NC 2: Eh, I don't care. (In panicked tone) No, no, wait! I didn't mea- (sparkling effects sound and NC moans lightly).
Care 熊 (off-screen): Hi. We're the Care Bears, and everybody has to care about something--
(NC brings out his gun and starts shooting at the Care Bears as they are heard screaming.
#2:
NC: 你 know...dick. Cause that's what 你 are, a fucking dick. When 你 显示 this image of the American flag destroyed...
(Such an image is shown)
NC (vo): ...you're not just 展示 your dollar store symbolism that says "ooh, America's hurt."
NC: But, it's very clear that what is important to 你 is not how 你 view America. What is important to 你 is how others see 你 viewing America. So, 你 can make up whatever 你 want. 你 can fabricate things, 你 can lie about history.
(The hospital attack is shown)
NC (vo): 你 can exaggerate, 你 can glorify, 你 can demonize, 你 can distort the facts.
NC: 你 can make up the truth. Make up the truth about people who 迷失 their lives in this great tragedy. Why? Because you're doing it in the name that 你 (thumping his chest) fuck 爱情 America. (now in full-on serious mode) I'm sorry! I-I-I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? These are people who have 迷失 their lives, people who have been drafted, people who volunteered, people putting their 屁股 on the line, and many of them don't come back! You're taking it upon yourself to 显示 that! And, I-I know what you're thinking, yeah, you're thinking, "Well, I'll just make up people, because they weren't really there, so I can do whatever I want with them, I can make shit up." And granted, 你 don't deserve the responsibility to 显示 real events. 你 don't live in the real world! But what happens is that when 你 take it and base it on a real event, 你 have to 显示 these real people. 你 have to get it right, Michael Bay! 你 have to get it right! Because this, this isn't Transformers, okay? That's kid's shit, 你 can do whatever 你 want. It's not The Rock! It's not Sean Connery saying "winners fuck the prom queen!" No, it's fuck Pearl Harbor! Reality! It actually happened! And I know you're thinking, "Well, it's Hollywood, we take liberties." Fuck you, it's not Hollywood! When 你 take it upon yourself to represent something that really happened and is still painful and hurts a lot of people, that means 你 have to do two things. One, 你 have to grow up and be an adult! Two, 你 have to actually represent these people as best as humanly possible, 你 SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!
#3:
Maxie: (narrates) Hortense and Bernice married Kirk and Dirk, who are gloatingly thinking they've got it made. And here we have the ecstatic newlyweds Angelica and William, together with Mother Nanny, Granny, Victoria and the grandchildren, and the dalmatians and their children. Well, here's hoping they all live happily ever after. See 你 soon.
NC: HAPPILY EVER AFTER?! What the hell is wrong with you?! This isn't a postcard! This is the sinking of the fucking Titanic! If 你 wanted to be really faithful, 你 would've said…
NC (voiceover): (as Maxie) Kirk and 短剑, 德克 got married to the evil stepsisters, William and Angelica married, as well as adopted the two Dalmatians, (An old black-and-white illustration of the real-life 泰坦尼克号 sinking is shown) and over 1,500 died in one of the world's largest and most tragic disasters. See 你 soon!
#4:
Nostalgia Critic: So the old wins in this situation. Does that mean I don't like "The Dark Knight"? Not at all. I just like "Batman" a little more. And, uh, my only hope is that Christian Bale doesn't take what I 说 about him too seriously— [The Critic's cell phone rings] 'Scuse me. [Opens and 答案 it] Hello?
Christian Bale: [Utilizing audio from his infamous rant] What the fuck are 你 DOING?!
Nostalgia Critic: I'm sorry, man, I just thought—
Christian Bale: No, don't just be sorry. THINK for one fuckin' second!
Nostalgia Critic: Well that's not very nice.
Christian Bale: What the fuck is it with you? Are 你 professional 或者 not?
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I don't like to brag, but—
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake, man, you're amateur!
Nostalgia Critic: Look, I don't know why you're getting so angry—
Christian Bale: No, shut the fuck up!
Nostalgia Critic: Maybe I could, uh—
Christian Bale: No! NO!! I wanna fuckin' kick your fuckin' ass!
Nostalgia Critic: Why are 你 so angry? I just don't get it.
Christian Bale: What don't 你 get about it?
Nostalgia Critic: Hold on, hold on. [Addresses the viewers] I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so 你 don't have to. [Resumes the call]
Christian Bale: Gimme a fuckin' answer!
Nostalgia Critic: I just don't get why 你 made 蝙蝠侠 sound like he had lung cancer.
Christian Bale: Ohhh, good for you! You're a nice guy.
Nostalgia Critic: Why thank you!
Christian Bale: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Nostalgia Critic: 你 shut up! Go make "Reign of 火, 消防 2"!
Christian Bale: No!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!
Christian Bale: NO!!
Nostalgia Critic: YES!!
Christian Bale: Fuck's sake.
#5:
Nostalgia: Hello, I’m the…Nostalgia Critic. (pauses) I remember it so 你 don’t have to. And… (He looks up to scan the entire group before lowering his head again in a bit of shame and speak quickly) I kinda like “Spider-Man 3.”
(All the people in the group shout in outrage, and one male gets on a 表 to pound on it in rage),
Nostalgia: I do!
#6:
Pistachio: 你 know, I could tell just 由 looking at you. (holds up a mini-corn dog and a small handful of nuts) 你 have a little wiener...and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah.
NC: (bursts into loud, over the top, sarcastic laughter, that gets 更多 and 更多 hysterical, he then gets out of his chair and leaves the room. Cut to outside where Jim Jarosz is on his cell phone when NC comes out with a baseball bat, continuing to laugh hysterically while beating him down. He then sees Prof. Birmingham Dickens.)
Dickens: Oh, hello.
(A crazy-laughing NC runs up to him and beats the professor down as well. NC then looks at the camera like a wild man and starts running towards him as the cameramen tries backing away but is too slow and Critic beats down the cameraman).
NC: (continues to laugh like a maniac as he throws the bat away and walks off screen left. The camera then pans down to the carnage NC has left as we see Prof. Birmingham Dickens put his pipe into his mouth. Cut back to NC's room as he calms down and sits back down in his chair.)
NC: (suddenly conscious) Where was I the last two minutes?
#7:
Nostalgia Critic: Fucking-A, this is My Little 小马 fanfiction! Can't 你 just see an episode ending like that?!
[cuts to a clip of My Little Pony]
Fluttershy: Anyone who would give their soul for love, has the power to change the world! Isn't that right, Ghost 小马 Rider?
Ghost 小马 Rider: (demonic roar)
Fluttershy: Right!
#8:
Critic: FUCJKING BUBBLES!!
#9:
Mark: I used to know this girl who had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
[Johnny laughs]
Nostalgia Critic: That's not funny, 你 sick fuck.
#10:
Denny: I just like to watch 你 guys.
NC: (stunned again) Uhhhhhh...
#11:
Blade: Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to ice-skate uphill...
Nostalgia Critic: That is a really weird note to go out on.
#12:
Pennywise: I’ll 显示 你 how to FLOOOAAAT down here.
Critic: Why doesn’t he just EAT these fucking kids? He’s eaten like half of the other kids in the neighborhood! Why doesn’t he just finish them off? I mean, what the hell is 更多 important in his time?
Critic: (imitates Pennywise) RARRR, I've got 你 now, little boy! (beeping sound, and he looks at his watch) Oh, my God, it’s almost 3:00! (The Critic leaves the screen camera from the left and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song plays.)
#13:
(The 厨房 phone rings, and Tory 答案 it)
Tory: Hello? Hello? Help us, please! Come help us! We’re trapped inside of here!
Pennywise: Do 你 have Prince Albert in a can? 你 do? Well, ya better let the poor guy out! Wha-haw! Wha-Haw! Wha-Haw!
(Tory hangs up and tears the phone off the wall)
#14:
Malus: HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!
Critic: Somebody lit it! Somebody lit it!
#15:
Tender Heart: Magic isn't the answer, Nicholas. Your feelings can help 你 find the true answer.
NC: Yes. Just listen to the magic, talking bear.
#16:
《勇敢传说》 Heart: Everyone in the Forest of Feelings knows of Playful 心 Monkey and 《勇敢传说》 Heart. [Cuts to scene from Mel Gibson's Braveheart]
NC: I know, I know. But how can I not put that in?
I've been meaning to do this for a while. This is a countdown, meaning that number one is the best. Also, this is just my personal opinion so keep your rude 评论 to yourself. I hope 你 like it and please tell me what 你 think.
1-Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper 或者 self-confidence.
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are 苦 but the 水果 is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which 你 can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are 苦 but the 水果 is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which 你 can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
When a guy flirts with other women.while out with his girl, it. may be he is just trying to be funny and charming 或者 seem polite. 或者 he may secretly be feeling insecure. Maybe he fears his gal is still.into her ex, 或者 worries she may be seeing simeone else besides him. He wont come out and say his fears, so rather he tries to appear 更多 of a stud flirting with ladies. What he may not realize is this drives a gal away and makes her feel unimportant. How would a guy like it if a gal behaved that way toward him? Does anyone have any suggestions how to deal with this obnoxious male behavior? Does a gal call him out on it? 或者 simply walk away, as I did from a guy I loved a lot, and not call him out on it, just simply tell him, "You hurt me."?
note:this spell can be casted any time,any day.
okay,step one;light the candle and hold it in your left hand.
step2;put a little honey in your mouth(don't swallow)get a pitch of honey on the object,hold the object in your right hand,close your eyes and chant"i call upon the the dark god of magick to protect me from all negative energies and forces that may come my way,may this be my magic wand to make my wish come true so mote it be.
open your eyes,put the wand in the candle fire, let it burn for a 分钟 then after that use the honey to quench fire,BING BANG BOOM! it's done!have fun.
Once there was a ghost named Specter and he was very lonely.He had no 老友记 或者 anymore family members.
He was really upset.So one 日 he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they 说 goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The 下一个 日 Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset 或者 lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End
He was really upset.So one 日 he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they 说 goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The 下一个 日 Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset 或者 lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End
Ok I did not make that,my brother some how found out my 密码 for 潮流粉丝俱乐部 and decided to mess around with it,i have seen the 评论 and no i am not a idiot,tell that to my dumb brother.
that being 说 i removed it cause of course i don't want people seeing that thinking i am insane,so anybody who read it please just ignore it.
i changed my 密码 so that won't happen again, so yeah sorry about that,he might do it again though so if 你 see some retarded post made 由 me please note it is my brother making me look like an idiot.
soo yeah that's all sorry about it and have a nice day
for anybody who didn't read my brothers dumb post its just him saying quote on quote 'slut slut in the tub tub' and a bunch of other dumb stuff, and if 你 don't believe me then find your choice.
that being 说 i removed it cause of course i don't want people seeing that thinking i am insane,so anybody who read it please just ignore it.
i changed my 密码 so that won't happen again, so yeah sorry about that,he might do it again though so if 你 see some retarded post made 由 me please note it is my brother making me look like an idiot.
soo yeah that's all sorry about it and have a nice day
for anybody who didn't read my brothers dumb post its just him saying quote on quote 'slut slut in the tub tub' and a bunch of other dumb stuff, and if 你 don't believe me then find your choice.