What's the craziest rumor 你 have heard about yourself?

One of my 老友记 on this site called me a squirrel, a gay squirrel, just 由 looking at my user icon. That's really weird, even from him. I'm not a squirrel. This is just my user icon, a mascot of the Universiade 1987 (the 大学 Games) held in my hometown of Zagreb, Croatia. Zagi was the name of that mascot. Those 颜色 on „my" tail are the 颜色 of the Universiade, much like the Olympic circles, and they have absolutely nothing to do with a 彩虹 Flag, 或者 me being gay. It's just a lucky coincidence! I mean, where did 你 ever see a 松鼠 who can type on a laptop and speak English? Nowhere! I'm just another human being, hiding behind my user 图标 like a mask, just like anybody else on this site, but 你 know I'm not a squirrel, I'm a real person. I don't even have a 松鼠 for a pet!!!

Well it started as a joke but got blown out of proportions and became a rumor. Because I had long hair, was too poor to afford a backpack so used my dad's military duffel bag in school, wore black clothes and had a Punisher T-shirt, my 老友记 nicknamed me School Shooter, cause it was 2016 and offensive jokes were just normal. So we were at the lunch table, laughing about all the great offensive stuff, like "Holocaust didn't happen" and all that, and then some humongous fat 婊子, 子 walked up and said, "So, you're the school shooter, huh? 你 wanna tell me what that's about" and she wanted me to go to the principal's office and I told her no, mostly cause she wasn't even a teacher, and then she left to tell the principal, and it went nowhere because I never made any threats 或者 anything like that, but people still thought I would break down one day. Spoiler: I never did and I graduated with grades ranging from Cs

That I was a lesbian. That in itself Is kinda normal standard rumor stuff. But there was a rumor at the same time that I was dating three guys.

Jokes on y'all I'm ace.

Donald Trump was going to run for president, haha. Oh wait.... ah #%*&

That I wear a wig. The rumor spread back when I was in high school. It did bother me for a few years but then I got used to it.

that one time i held hands with my virtual hologram waifu. obviously not true

it was my neighbor's virtual hologram waifu