What if I....

Everyone of those actions have the same response.

I would kill you.

Drew a dickbutt on your forehead in permanent marker?

/punch 你 till 你 bleed from your eyes ,and i can remove it with alcohol wipes


Ate your 最喜爱的 食物 in front of you?

/i dont give a shit

Poked you?

/ignore you

Fed 你 to a crab?

/what

Put 蜘蛛 legs in your shampoo?

/cool

偷了 your dog food... then ate it off your foot?

/i have a cat......../wtf

Played an epic 钢琴 solo?

/enjoy it and tell 你 that it was awesome

Shot you?

/goodbye world

Hugged you?

/ok

Threw up in your shoes and walked off?

/ew

Impersonated Obama?
...
Impersonated Putin?
....
Impersonated a dog?
...
Summoned ghosts in your bathtub?

/i dont have a bathtub i take showers

Seanced your dead aunt?

/what

Burned your personal library?

/i dont read

Started a rave-party in your bedroom closet?

/smoke weed 下一个 room

Started a mosh pit in your living room?

/get rid of 你 with a 火, 消防 extinguisher

Stalked 你 for two years, then proposed?

/no im in 爱情 with someone else..

Threatened to eat 你 with chopsticks?

/crazy fuck

Pretended your name was Han Solo for six months?
...
Turned 你 into a rug?

/fly

Cut up onions right under your nose?

/take it from 你 and rub it on your eyes ...burn bitch

Followed 你 into the shower, and washed your hair with coconut shampoo?

/ok im done

发布 a superlong 列表 of weird questions?
welcome clown