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What do 你 guy's think of my character?

Here is another one of my Original Characters. Her name is Alessandra Sofia.
- She likes: (as it says) Singing, dancing, gymnastics, shopping, 音乐 (of course), sweets (but not too many sweets), dating, chatting with friends, showering, online shooting and modeling magazines.
- She does not like: Homework, Early mornings, 唱歌 off key, gaining weight, her hair getting messy and people saying bad things about Italy 或者 her friends.
- She was born and raised in Italy but she and her family moved to the United States 由 the age of 16. 由 the age of 21, she is a junior in a college at New York City. And even as an early adult still hasn't 迷失 touch of her Italian roots. She had always had dreams of being the 下一个 greatest pop 星, 星级 and spends a lot of time focusing on her 唱歌 career while still keeping track of her school work. She is also a 体操运动员 as she had gotten her body in shape to be one of the most dedicated members there are and she also uses the moves she learned in gymnastics such as hand springs and cartwheels to perform on stage (such as at talent shows). Not only that, but alot of people at her 大学 is so amazed 由 her beauty, talent and fashion sense that she's slowly becoming 更多 流行的 as the days go on. Her popularity has been so high that she's even been making her own CDs and selling them to her fans. Songs featuring covers 由 other artist but they mostly contain songs she wrote herself, dubbed in both Italian and English.

So what do 你 guys think of her?
 What do 你 guy's think of my character?
 sMCCarthyTV posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

BlondLionEzel said:
I 爱情 it!
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posted 一年多以前 
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Thnaks ^^ Atleast someone does
sMCCarthyTV posted 一年多以前
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At least someone does? Listen to the people critizizing! They're all right!
misscrazel posted 一年多以前
tamore said:
two dimensional and cliche af tbh
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posted 一年多以前 
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cliche? How so?
sMCCarthyTV posted 一年多以前
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a pretty girl who wants to be a singer who cares about shopping and grades..........
tamore posted 一年多以前
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the italian thing is the only part that's not a cliche but she still totally lacks any depth, which maybe is what 你 going for but it makes her unattractive in my eyes
tamore posted 一年多以前
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*you're
tamore posted 一年多以前
sieluvzsoul said:
Is she supposed to be a vocaloid 或者 something? Either way she seems aight. Maybe a little too cliche though. And maybe 你 should make her hair a certain color not rainbow
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posted 一年多以前 
SeeUV3 said:
I don't like the art too much....
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posted 一年多以前 
AmyRoseReal said:
She sounds AND looks like your typical 日本动漫 character. Her anatomy is, um...strange. Way too cliche.
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posted 一年多以前 
Shadowmarioking said:
ngl alessandras a bland character
yes, she can do all these things, but that is exactly what kills her. shes too much in a single package. it seems everyone likes her and is amazed 由 her, her popularitys exceeded thus far that she can make her own CDs and sell them independently. there is no struggle, there are no faults stated, she is what anyone would strive to be and that is what makes her completely unappealing. 你 may be able to showcase this sort of character and have them appreicated 由 a limited audience. i guarentee 你 that a majority of people may not take this character very lightly and see them as "over the top" 或者 as some users have been stating "cliche"

when it comes to the 设计 there are WAAAAAAAAAAY too many colors. color directs the eyes to focus on a specific area but looking at alessandra i dont even know where to begin. the multi colored hair is an eyesore when mixed in w/ the colored outfit. everythings just very bright and while i can understand if this was done b/cause of the lack of any other 颜色 its still too much. i dont even know whats on her head (ears?? a bow??)

what i would recommend jic tl;dr is that 你 run your character through a mary sue test and give her some sort of antagonist and flaws. get rid of whatever isnt necessary to make her a singer. yes, she can do gymnastics but on the side and even then she doesnt have to be astounding at it. hell, make her lousy at it to counter the concept that she is some sort of superhuman mary sue

on a side note i envy your handwriting b/cause that is gorgeous
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posted 一年多以前 
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also if youre unsure what to do if your character comes up as a mary sue i recommend starting over from scratch and learning a lot about the struggles when it comes to becoming a musician and possibly health consequences and the lifestyle alessandra might actually lead
Shadowmarioking posted 一年多以前
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随意 问题 coming at ya... ever read Ender's Game?
True-Finn-Fan posted 一年多以前
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^no
Shadowmarioking posted 一年多以前
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^just checking something, thanks.
True-Finn-Fan posted 一年多以前
walnoot said:
basically everything shadowmarioking said.
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posted 一年多以前 
DaringDevil said:
I totally agree with shadowmarioking and no I'm not impressed 由 your character
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posted 一年多以前 
misscrazel said:
Total Mary-sue. Sorry, but 你 need to fix her a little. 'she had gotten her body in shape to be one of the most dedicated members there are', 'uses the moves she learned in gymnastics such as hand springs and cartwheels to perform on stage (such as at talent shows)', and 'Not only that, but alot of people at her 大学 is so amazed 由 her beauty, talent and fashion sense that she's slowly becoming 更多 流行的 as the days go on' scream Mary-sue. Also the name Alessandra Sofia is totally Mary-sue. I think 你 have great potential for a good character and plot though.
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posted 一年多以前 
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Iliked the Italy thing though. Gives your character a tiny bit of depth.
misscrazel posted 一年多以前
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Here are some tips: give her some intresting things. Maybe she has a colection of china dolls? Maybe she loves a certain book 或者 movie? Give her one 或者 two hair coulours. 彩虹 hair is NOT working with her design. Give her obstacles. I myself want to be a singer. My obstacles: my disorder, people discouraging me, not having band members, not knowing how to start, thinking I had a bad voice, etc. I even considered giving up a few times.
misscrazel posted 一年多以前
egyptprincess7 said:
Sorry but your character really sounds really cliche. She sounds like a typical character honestly. 你 should really kind of change a lot of things. I'll send 你 some references if 你 want. The Italy part was really original though.
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posted 一年多以前 
Mollymolata said:
Looks great. Good Job!
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posted 一年多以前 
Syltre said:
I'm really sorry about this but, I think your character is way too cliche. Your character seems like it's good at almost everything and is very 流行的 and smart. Those kind of characters are nice and admired but she's... too good at everything. Which takes out all of the interests in the character. The Italian part about her is interesting and unique though.
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posted 一年多以前 
True-Finn-Fan said:
it feels vague and has too much success and not enough challenge. i mean i can sum it up like this... she shows up in the US from Italy, goes to college, had a very stereotypical immigrant dream = "become famous", was a Mary Sue in college, becomes famous... the end.

where's the challenge, where's the conflict? to make a good character 你 need to give the character flaws that stick, like stage fright 或者 bad sinning voice...

if 你 were to say that she always wanted to be a pop 星, 星级 and had written so many good songs but her voice wasn't good enough to express them 或者 get them recognized then the character would be 更多 interesting and would make for a better story. and maybe she's getting bad grades in one class because wasting time in class 写作 new songs 或者 something... to say she's just 'story perfect' is kinda... overdone and uninteresting.

give her something that's not desirable, a flaw, a mistake, a screw up, and then her character becomes 更多 complete and original.

the drawing wasn't bad though, much better than anything i could have drawn. the hair was a little overdone on color but... to every man his own i guess.
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posted 一年多以前 
neonClouds said:
Mary sue, total cliche storm
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posted 一年多以前 
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