Would 你 guys be interested in 阅读 my new story?

Probably not, the 写作 isn't very good, the plot doesn't seem that great, and it's not very original.


I also noticed many spelling and grammatical errors, and those alone, throw me off of it.

Sounds very intersting.I guess I'll read. :)

it looks pretty cool, I'll go check it out :-D

It sounds like it has a really good plot line.
Sure why not! :)

Three kingdoms have raised from the ashes to take over what is now known as the new world.
~~~
I hope 你 have a better 描述 of your plot's background story. .__.

First, how did this World War III lead to the current state of Earth? Bio-chemical warfare? Nuclear fallout? 你 should explain further. Just knowing this bit of information can draw in some readers.
If a majority of the world is destroyed, how do the kingdoms have a suitable population? A kingdom tends to have a fair population of about 200,000+. How does this kingdom maintain? Is there farmland? How much of their resources is usable and can be maintained? Depending on the cause/effects of the war, it will greatly effect surrounding areas as well as natural resources.
And why only kingdoms? Why no other alternative governments? Many people are against having one ruler; a King. There are multiple options in government. One society could have easily chosen Communism over a Democracy. 或者 instead of evolving into a kingdom, one man could abuse his acquired power to rule as a dictator. In times of desperation, people may often turn to religion which can create 更多 of an occult type of setting.
How are the three kingdoms aware of each other? Geographically, they are very far apart. How do they communicate? Do they even communicate at all? 或者 are they completely ignorant of each other?
Your story is taking place in 2017. That's not very far from now. It's not enough time for society to gather and rebuild themselves, nonetheless repopulate.


"...you've brought to are people?!"
>.> *our

"Why not stop it!?"
I'm sorry, but this sounds very awkward. Rewrite it.

"She felt like she was scream..."
-____- *facepalm* Really? Really?! 你 could not add the simple -ing at the end of the word to make it correct?

"...far to many..."
FJAKSDL FSJAKLDJKS TO?! TO?!?! 'Too' is the correct form. .__.

These are only a few errors. There are many more. Please, for the 爱情 of humanity, improve your grammar and punctuation. I cannot even force myself to try 阅读 your story from what I have seen already of your 写作 on this question. Work on those.

Hater, troll, 或者 just constructive criticism?
你 decide. :P

Sure thing it sounds really good and after all, 你 are on my 粉丝 list!

I wrote a story too, it's in my club 你 should read it. trololololol
#Shameless self advertising


Sorry dear, normally I'd be all too open to 阅读 stories but I have a very limited amount of time and I doubt I'd be able to.

I'd like to give some constructive criticism, if 你 don't mind.

Every time 你 can ask a 问题 about one of your sentences/paragraphs/ideas and it doesn't get answered...
ANSWER IT!
The way 你 choose words, sentence types, and the implementation of grammar principles will all have an effect on the reader. Whether it is good 或者 bad, 你 will need to decide.
On the topic of your intro, 你 want to make sure it is as gripping as possible.
你 have a great idea, all 你 need is a touch of technical work. :)