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随意 问题

PLEASE HELP!

I'm trying to send this poem to my uncle, who is an English teacher, he has left, and I might never see him again, please help me add a few lines, 或者 replace some of the words, because I think this poem looks so simple, also if I had any grammer mistakes, please tell me.
and tell me what do u think of it :)


a paper and a pen which writes in blue.

I hold it and think.
what should I do?

write about love?friends? 或者 write about you?

the last thought was the best.
but where do I start?
I had no clue.

thoughts are many.
but words are few.

so I remembered the old days.
it was not a long time ago.

how 你 came to our house.
and how did 你 go.

I remember everything.
your face, smile, clothes, and even your shoe!

everything 你 说 was interesting.
and so funny too!

and within a few days only.
I realized
你 are the best relative I've ever knew.

don't 你 believe me? I swear! it's true!
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I loved it all! except the shoot part ._.
InvaderStickly posted 一年多以前
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"shoot" ?? I wrote "shoe"
hindaa posted 一年多以前
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thank u all :) that's very nice of u :)
hindaa posted 一年多以前
 hindaa posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

irena83 said:
That's very nice of you. To send a message full of 爱情 and tenderness. Your poem is very sweet, don't worry, tho 你 may add some special moments of yours, something that will be memorized and cherished.
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posted 一年多以前 
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i agree
chattycandy posted 一年多以前
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thanks :)
hindaa posted 一年多以前
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Thank you. ;)
irena83 posted 一年多以前
CourtneyFan17 said:
I didn't read it sorry I got bored :P
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posted 一年多以前 
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u r so mean :P
hindaa posted 一年多以前
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Not trying to thats why I 说 sorry :P
CourtneyFan17 posted 一年多以前
chattycandy said:
it shows 你 爱情 him and that 你 care.if 你 like it he will too.
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posted 一年多以前 
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Words itself mean a lot. Honest and soft words always make everyone feel good.
irena83 posted 一年多以前
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yeah
chattycandy posted 一年多以前
booklover27 said:
AWSOME!! I loved it! there are no grammer problems that I can detect and sometimes the simplest things can be the best! I don't think 你 need to add anything, its sounds perfect and amazing! :)
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posted 一年多以前 
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unless 你 want to add anything else of course! I agree with irena83's idea if 你 do :)
booklover27 posted 一年多以前
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thanks :)
hindaa posted 一年多以前
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Yeah,simple and honest things mean a lot. The power and the depth is in words itself.
irena83 posted 一年多以前
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