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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Everypony down in Ponyville liked 圣诞节 a lot
But Gilda who lived just north of Ponyville did not
Gilda hated 圣诞节 the whole 圣诞节 season
Now please don't ask why no one quite knows the reason

It could be that her shoes were on too tight
It could be that her head wasn't screwed on just right
But I think that the most likely reason of them all
Was that her 心 was two sizes too small

But whatever the reason her 心 或者 her shoes
She just stared at Ponyville hating the ponies
Staring down from her cave with her claws nervously tapping
For tomorrow she knew that all the ponies were preparing for the holiday

"And they're hanging their stockings." She snarled with anger, "Tomorrow is christmas. It's practically here." Then she looked at her dog Max that just arrived. "I must find someway to stop 圣诞节 from coming, for tomrrow I know all the colts, and fillies will be playing, and making a lot of noise noise noise. That's one thing I hate, all the noise noise noise noise noise. Their round shaped wheels on their model trains will clickety clack on the track. There will be teenage ponies rocking, and rolling, and there will be a lot of ponies playing annoying games....

She's saying a lot at once, huh?

.....Then after all the ponies are done playing with their games, and toys, and instruments they'll sit down and have a feast. And they'll feast, and they'll feast feast feast. They'll feast on pudding, and roast beaf. How I hate when they do that. Then, they'll do something I hate most of all. Everypony down in ponyville with gather around townhall with 圣诞节 bells ringing, and then they will begin to sing. And they'll sing, and they'll sing, and they'll sing sing sing."

And the 更多 Gilda thought about it, she said, "I must stop this whole thing. Why I've had to put up with it ever since I was born. I must stop 圣诞节 from coming, but how?" Then she got an idea. An awful idea. Gilda got a wonderfully awful idea. "I know just what to do," She said. "I'll make a quick santa claus hat, and coat." Then she began to chuckle, "What a great trick. With this hat, and this coat, I'll look just like St. Nick."

You're a mean one Ms. Gilda
你 really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an 鳗鱼
Ms. Gilda
You're a bad 香蕉 with a greasy black peel

You're a monster Ms. Gilda
Your Hearts an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul Ms. Gilda
I wouldn't touch 你 with a
39 and a half Foot pole

"All I need is a reindeer." Gilda said. But since reindeer were scarce, there were none to be found. But did that stop Gilda? No. She simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead."

So she whistled for her dog Max, and tied a horn onto his head with some black thread. Then Gilda loaded up some bags on a sleigh. Then she whistle for Max.

Max arrived being very excited, but Gilda was not amused. She hitched Max to the sleigh, grabbed her whip, and she 说 "Giddap." Then they started for the trip down to Ponyville where the ponies lay asleep in their beds.

Song: link

The sleigh slowly moved with a very angry Gilda staring at Max. Max knew he had to run, so he did. He ran as fast as he could, but unfortunately it was not enough.The sleigh was going faster then him, and it started to pull him down the hill.

Gilda was too angry to notice, but she looked at the rope. It was under the sleigh, and behind was Max. Gilda just grabbed Max, and threw him back to the front of the sleigh so he could pull it. Just when she did that, the sleigh went airborne, and landed on another mountain.

Max was back to pulling the sleigh, and took a sharp left turn, causing a few bags to fall off. After that, things seemed to be going well, but then they went up a 180 degree angle hill, and they were airborne again.

Gilda, and Max stared at each other for a long time, and they noticed they were going to fall. Thankfully they landed safely, but Max was holding onto Gilda's face very tightly.

Gilda had to get Max off her, and that's what she did. She once again threw the frightened dog to the front of the sleigh, and Max pulled it all the way to Ponyville without anymore trouble.

All their windows were dark, no one knew they were there. All the ponies were still asleep, when she came to the first house on the square.

"This is stop number one." Gilda claus hissed. Then she went up the ladder to the roof of the house.

Then she slid down the chimney which seemed hard, but if Santa could do it so could Gilda. She got stuck only once for a moment 或者 two. Then she stuck her head out of the fireplace, and observed the house. "These stockings," She said, "Are the first thing to go."

After she 偷了 the stocking, she slithered towards the 圣诞节 tree, and took everything. Popguns, boardgames, Grand Theft Auto 5, The Great Escape with Steve McQueen on Bluray. Then she stuffed all the presents into a bag, and threw them one 由 one up the chimney.

You're a vile one Ms. Gilda
你 have termites in your smile
你 have all the tender sweetness of a seasick 鳄鱼
Ms. Gilda
给 the choice between the two of 你
I'd take the a seasick 鳄鱼

You're a foul one Ms. Gilda
With a nauseous super naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
你 drive a crooked horse
Ms. Gilda
You're a 3 Decker 酸, 酸奶 kraut and toad 粪便, 凳子 三明治
With arsenic sauce!

Gilda decided to go to the bed, where all the colts, and fillies were sleeping. She took their 糖果 canes, and ran off. Then she slunk to the refrigerator and took all the 食物 in the house. She took the pudding, and all the canned food, and the roast beef. She cleaned out the entire 厨房 as quick as a flash, why Gilda even took their last batch of 浓情巧克力 chip cookies!

Shortly after that, Gilda went to the 圣诞节 tree, "And now," Grinned Gilda, "I will stuff up the tree." As Gilda tried to get the 树 up the chimney she heard hoofsteps. She turned around, and to her surprise she saw Applebloom.

Seeing Santa with the 树 made Applebloom very curious so she asked, "Santa Claus, why? Why are 你 taking our 圣诞节 tree? Why?"

And 你 know Gilda, she thought up a lie, and she thought it up quick, "Why my sweet little tot.There's a light on this 树 that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it back to my workshop my dear. I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here."

After that, Gilda gave Applebloom a cup of cold water, and when Applebloom was in 床, 床上 with her cup, Gilda got the 树 out of the house. The last thing she took was the log for their fire. All she left in the house were some hooks, and some wires. And the one speck of 食物 which was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then Gilda did the same thing to the other ponies houses leaving crumbs that were too small for mouses.

你 nauseate me Ms. Gilda
You're the 皇后乐队 of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead 番茄 splotched with moldy purple spots
Ms. Gilda

Your sole is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish
Imaginable, mangled up in 魔发奇缘 up knots

You're a rotter Ms. Gilda
You're a nasty wasty skunk
Your 心 is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk
Ms. Gilda

The 3 words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk

It was a quarter to dawn, all the ponies were still asleep. But they did not know that Gilda was taking off with all their 圣诞节 decorations. Their presents, and their trees. Their food, and their 50th anniversary edition of The Great Escape on Bluray.

Ten thousand feet up. Up the side of Mt. Krumpit
Where Gilda was going to the tip 最佳, 返回页首 with her load to dump it.

"Victory at last." Shouted Gilda as she slid to the bottom of the sleigh. "They're finding out now that no 圣诞节 is coming. I know just what they'll do to. They'll notice that everything is missing, and they'll all cry boo hoo. That's a noise," 说 Gilda "That I simply must hear." She waited, and waited while trying to hear a sound. She did hear something at last. It started in low, then it started to grow.

But this sound wasn't sad. This sound sounded glad. Everypony down in Ponyville the tall, and the small were 唱歌 without any presents at all. She hasn't stopped 圣诞节 from coming. It came. Somehow 或者 another, it came, and it was all the same.

And Gilda, with her feet burried ice cold in the snow stood puzzled. "How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes 或者 bags." Then she puzzled, and puzzled until her puzzler was sore. Then she thought of something that she hadn't before. Maybe, perhaps 圣诞节 doesn't come from a store. Maybe 圣诞节 perhaps, means a little bit more.

Upon realizing this, she noticed that the sleigh was starting to roll down towards a cliff. Gilda grabbed it, and tried her best to save everything on the sleigh.

And what happened then? Well in Ponyville they say. Gilda's 心 grew three sizes that day. Then Gilda heaved as she got the sleigh safely away from the cliff with the strength of ten griffons, plus two.

And then, she rode down on the sleigh while playing on a horn letting everypony know that she had their 圣诞节 stuff. She brought back the tree, and the presents, and the food, and the decorations, and The Great Escape on Bluray. Then she, she herself carved the roast beef.

Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all ponies far and near. 圣诞节 日 is in our grasp, so long as we have hooves to grasp. 圣诞节 日 will always be just the same. Welcome 圣诞节 as we stand, 心 to heart, and hand in hand.

The End.
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