Jeff was trotting to Sugarcube corner. He was going to make 纸杯蛋糕 today. He didn't know why he was so exited about it though, he didn't even like cupcakes. Oh well, he'd probably fail at it anyway. He could just imagine all the icing all over the place with chunks of dough on the ceiling and all the ponies running and screaming and begging for their life when he cut their necks....This was still about baking, right? He assumed yes. "They all Go to sleep one day." He said. When he got to the bakery a 粉, 粉色 blur pounced on him.
"Hi Jeffery!" 说 Pinkie.
"How do 你 know my full name?" Jeff asked. "Oh, wait, logic doesn't apply here."
"Are 你 ready?" She asked.
Jeff nodded. "Please get off of me."
"Sorry." Pinkie apologized.
"No problem, I'm used to it." Jeff said, remembering the fangirls.
"Well, we should get started." Pinkie said, hopping into the bakery. "Take this." Pinkie said, giving Jeff a cupcake.
"Thanks." Jeff said, taking a bite. He spit it out as soon as he tasted it though. "POISON, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Jeff started running around the room like a flying pixie demon monster from The mountain of dew. "YOU WERE GONNA POISON ME!" He had spent enough time with Laughing Jack to have memorized what poison tasted like and which poison did what. "THE POWER OF ZALGO COMPELS YOU!"
Pinkie was looking at Jeff giggling. "How did 你 guess?" She asked as if nothing had happened.
"It buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnsssssssssssssss." Jeff 说 in a loud whisper. "Oh, and to answer your question, Razor blades hurt when the hit your tongue." Then Jeff face hoofed. "I mean I had a friend who worked with poison once."
"Do 你 know what poison was in the cupcake?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't know names, but it makes 你 sleep, Now, Go to sleep." He said, unsheathing his knife. He ran at Pinkie.
Pinkie dodged and pulled her party 大炮, 加农炮 out of nowhere.
"Guns are inferior to knives in every way." Jeff 说 dodging the spray of confetti and cake. He then threw his 刀 Pinkie easily dodged it and grabbed her butcher knife, again, out of nowhere. Her hair slowly went flat and darkened.
"Let's make 纸杯蛋糕 Jeffery." 说 Pinkimena.
"Never!" Jeff yelled, grabbing his 刀 from the 墙 it hit. "Go to sleep!" He ran at her again. She nearly dodged but got a gash in her side. She swung her 斧头, 短柄小斧 and hit him in the flank. He recoiled at the sudden injury then swung at her again, nearly hitting her head but missing 由 half an inch.
She stabbed him in the arm he wasn't using to attack.
He jumped in the air and spun like a drill. He fell at a rapid pace, hitting Pinkie in her hind leg, as she had tried to dodge. He jumped back quickly, flinching when he accidentally put weight on his injured leg.
Pinkie pulled the 刀 out of her leg and stood on two feet. Her 斧头, 短柄小斧 in one hoof, Jeff's 刀 in the other. She ran at him, somehow ignoring the pain in her leg and swung, one blow landing after another.
He tried to dodge but She was to fast. At one point his own 刀 sliced right above his eye. He grabbed Pinimena's hoof and twisted. He the threw her across the room into the oven. He tried to hold it shut and turn it on but his many injuries made it impossible. She broke out of the oven, the door hit Jeff and sent him skidding across the room.
She charged at him again, now holding another 刀 in her mouth. She swung over and over until Jeff collapsed to the ground. She then dropped his 刀 and the other 随意 knife. Jeff tried to get up many times but fell over each time. He watched as his attacker approached. She looked kinda like Jane, if she was less gay looking.
"Any last words?" Pinkimena asked. Jeff chuckled at first. Soon he was in a fit of laughter. despite all his injuries he couldn't do anything but laugh. "Haven't 你 ever heard of not letting your guard down?" Jeff said, standing back up and picking up his knife. "You're dumber than the others." Jeff giggled again. "Ya put up a good fight though."
There was the shape of a pegasus behind Pinkamena. It slowly walked closer and slowly gained color.
"I prefer muffins over bagels and cupcakes." Derpy spoke. Then she laughed. "But I like them all."
Jeff and Pinkamena just stared, slack jawed.
"I thought...hmm. Where could that idiot be, Jack 说 he'd come here if he heard me scream." Jeff pondered. He was sure the whole country had heard him screaming.
~~~
Jack was lazily sitting on a 云, 云计算 when he heard something.
"POISON, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" It was Jeff's voice.
"He'll probably be fine." Jack told himself.
"THE POWER OF ZALGO COMPELS YOU!"
The screams echoed through the town.
"hmm...Yeah, He'll be fine."
~~~
"Oh well." Jeff said. "At least I'm alive."
"Not for long." Pinkamena said, grabbing Jeff 由 the neck and standing on two hooves.
Jeff kicked her in the stomach and tried to run, but fell down immediately.
"STOP!" Derpy yelled, pouncing on 最佳, 返回页首 of Pinkamena and holding her down. "Calm down. This is solving nothing."
"Um, yeah. What She said." Jeff said.
After a little while Pinkamena calmed down. Her hair started to poof back up also. "Well, i guess I could make 纸杯蛋糕 with somepony else." She 说 in her usual cheerful voice.
Derpy slowly loosened her grip on Pinkie. As soon as it was loose enough she shot away fast as a bullet. "That was awesome!"
"Awesome?" Jeff asked as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard. "You nearly freaking killed me!"
"I know, but 你 put up a good fight. I don't know any other 小马 who can defend themselves so well."
Jeff gave Pinkie a skeptical look.
"Most ponies, even if they didn't fall for the cupcake, wouldn't last a 秒 fighting Pinamena!" Pinkie explained.
Jeff nodded, the cut smile getting slightly bigger. "You know...I could still help 你 with those cupcakes, we just need to find a new special ingredient."
"That sounds like fun, but who do we use?" Pinkie asked.
"I saw this aqua green colored unicorn on the way her. She 说 my face is ugly." Jeff suggested.
"Lyra, sure. Her number's been drawn lots of times, but whenever it is I can't seem to find her. It's like she goes into a different universe 或者 something."
"I'll go get her." Derpy offered. "If we also make muffins."
"Sure thing Derpy." Pinkie agreed.
With that Derpy flew out of the bakery.
"Hi Jeffery!" 说 Pinkie.
"How do 你 know my full name?" Jeff asked. "Oh, wait, logic doesn't apply here."
"Are 你 ready?" She asked.
Jeff nodded. "Please get off of me."
"Sorry." Pinkie apologized.
"No problem, I'm used to it." Jeff said, remembering the fangirls.
"Well, we should get started." Pinkie said, hopping into the bakery. "Take this." Pinkie said, giving Jeff a cupcake.
"Thanks." Jeff said, taking a bite. He spit it out as soon as he tasted it though. "POISON, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Jeff started running around the room like a flying pixie demon monster from The mountain of dew. "YOU WERE GONNA POISON ME!" He had spent enough time with Laughing Jack to have memorized what poison tasted like and which poison did what. "THE POWER OF ZALGO COMPELS YOU!"
Pinkie was looking at Jeff giggling. "How did 你 guess?" She asked as if nothing had happened.
"It buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnsssssssssssssss." Jeff 说 in a loud whisper. "Oh, and to answer your question, Razor blades hurt when the hit your tongue." Then Jeff face hoofed. "I mean I had a friend who worked with poison once."
"Do 你 know what poison was in the cupcake?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't know names, but it makes 你 sleep, Now, Go to sleep." He said, unsheathing his knife. He ran at Pinkie.
Pinkie dodged and pulled her party 大炮, 加农炮 out of nowhere.
"Guns are inferior to knives in every way." Jeff 说 dodging the spray of confetti and cake. He then threw his 刀 Pinkie easily dodged it and grabbed her butcher knife, again, out of nowhere. Her hair slowly went flat and darkened.
"Let's make 纸杯蛋糕 Jeffery." 说 Pinkimena.
"Never!" Jeff yelled, grabbing his 刀 from the 墙 it hit. "Go to sleep!" He ran at her again. She nearly dodged but got a gash in her side. She swung her 斧头, 短柄小斧 and hit him in the flank. He recoiled at the sudden injury then swung at her again, nearly hitting her head but missing 由 half an inch.
She stabbed him in the arm he wasn't using to attack.
He jumped in the air and spun like a drill. He fell at a rapid pace, hitting Pinkie in her hind leg, as she had tried to dodge. He jumped back quickly, flinching when he accidentally put weight on his injured leg.
Pinkie pulled the 刀 out of her leg and stood on two feet. Her 斧头, 短柄小斧 in one hoof, Jeff's 刀 in the other. She ran at him, somehow ignoring the pain in her leg and swung, one blow landing after another.
He tried to dodge but She was to fast. At one point his own 刀 sliced right above his eye. He grabbed Pinimena's hoof and twisted. He the threw her across the room into the oven. He tried to hold it shut and turn it on but his many injuries made it impossible. She broke out of the oven, the door hit Jeff and sent him skidding across the room.
She charged at him again, now holding another 刀 in her mouth. She swung over and over until Jeff collapsed to the ground. She then dropped his 刀 and the other 随意 knife. Jeff tried to get up many times but fell over each time. He watched as his attacker approached. She looked kinda like Jane, if she was less gay looking.
"Any last words?" Pinkimena asked. Jeff chuckled at first. Soon he was in a fit of laughter. despite all his injuries he couldn't do anything but laugh. "Haven't 你 ever heard of not letting your guard down?" Jeff said, standing back up and picking up his knife. "You're dumber than the others." Jeff giggled again. "Ya put up a good fight though."
There was the shape of a pegasus behind Pinkamena. It slowly walked closer and slowly gained color.
"I prefer muffins over bagels and cupcakes." Derpy spoke. Then she laughed. "But I like them all."
Jeff and Pinkamena just stared, slack jawed.
"I thought...hmm. Where could that idiot be, Jack 说 he'd come here if he heard me scream." Jeff pondered. He was sure the whole country had heard him screaming.
~~~
Jack was lazily sitting on a 云, 云计算 when he heard something.
"POISON, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" It was Jeff's voice.
"He'll probably be fine." Jack told himself.
"THE POWER OF ZALGO COMPELS YOU!"
The screams echoed through the town.
"hmm...Yeah, He'll be fine."
~~~
"Oh well." Jeff said. "At least I'm alive."
"Not for long." Pinkamena said, grabbing Jeff 由 the neck and standing on two hooves.
Jeff kicked her in the stomach and tried to run, but fell down immediately.
"STOP!" Derpy yelled, pouncing on 最佳, 返回页首 of Pinkamena and holding her down. "Calm down. This is solving nothing."
"Um, yeah. What She said." Jeff said.
After a little while Pinkamena calmed down. Her hair started to poof back up also. "Well, i guess I could make 纸杯蛋糕 with somepony else." She 说 in her usual cheerful voice.
Derpy slowly loosened her grip on Pinkie. As soon as it was loose enough she shot away fast as a bullet. "That was awesome!"
"Awesome?" Jeff asked as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard. "You nearly freaking killed me!"
"I know, but 你 put up a good fight. I don't know any other 小马 who can defend themselves so well."
Jeff gave Pinkie a skeptical look.
"Most ponies, even if they didn't fall for the cupcake, wouldn't last a 秒 fighting Pinamena!" Pinkie explained.
Jeff nodded, the cut smile getting slightly bigger. "You know...I could still help 你 with those cupcakes, we just need to find a new special ingredient."
"That sounds like fun, but who do we use?" Pinkie asked.
"I saw this aqua green colored unicorn on the way her. She 说 my face is ugly." Jeff suggested.
"Lyra, sure. Her number's been drawn lots of times, but whenever it is I can't seem to find her. It's like she goes into a different universe 或者 something."
"I'll go get her." Derpy offered. "If we also make muffins."
"Sure thing Derpy." Pinkie agreed.
With that Derpy flew out of the bakery.
