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posted by mariofan14
It was a rainy 日 in the town of Ponyville on a Saturday. Nobody wanted to go outside during a rainy 日 because they thought they would be afflicted 由 a little bit of gloom. But then, there was a splash in a little puddle. Someone was walking someplace. But who? Let's follow that particular pony, shall we?

This 小马 was making its way towards Sweet 苹果 Acres, but for what reason? To buy some apples? Maybe, but this wasn't really the case. Anyways, the 小马 knocked on the door in front of the house. Granny Smith opened it up, saying, "How can ah haylp ya?" "I've come for 苹果 Bloom," the 小马 said, "for I am a friend of her. I've come to visit her." Granny Smith was thinking that this was a bad idea, but was willing to take the risk. She let the 小马 in and the 小马 took off the 兜帽, 罩, 发动机罩 being worn to reveal herself: Bayonetta. After hanging up her hood, she went upstairs to find 苹果 Bloom, but when she went to the filly's room, she wasn't there. Bayonetta found a note on AB's bed. It read:

"Ah'm at the Everfree Forest right now. If 你 find this note, ah'm coming back soon. Ah'll be okay. Ah know a little about the Forest.

苹果 Bloom"


Bayonetta thought, "The Everfree Forest? That's too dangerous for a young filly like her! I have to save her before she gets hurt badly!" So the red mare darted out of the house towards the Everfree Forest in an attempt to find 苹果 Bloom before something horrible happens. And luck was on our heroine's side because she found some hoof prints. They looked small, about the size of a large orange. "Looks like I'm on the right track," Bayonetta said. Then all of a sudden, she hears some rustling in a nearby bush. It looked unusually large to even be a bush. She then saw a pair of eyes- no, not a pair, but two pairs of eyes. Then a monstrous figure popped out of the bush: a chimera!

This beast, having a lion's body, a goat's head, and a snake's long neck and head, lurched towards our heroine to munch on for lunch, but Bayonetta's reflexes were greater than the chimera's speed. Before she was hit, she dodged the monster's swipe at the last second, activating Witch Time. She then proceeded to grab the snake at the beast's rear and she ripped it off, making the beast scream in pain as it started to lose some blood. The chimera then tried to stand on its hind legs, but without the snake as its balancing aid, the beast staggered to the ground. Bayonetta then shouted "PIR ZIXLAY", which summoned a 断头台 to chop off the chimera's lion head. She succeeded and all that was left was the goat head. But the beast ran away in fear. It was losing even 更多 blood at a faster rate. But she wasn't finished yet. Out of nowhere, she brought out the living demonic katana, Shuraba. She throws it at the monster's back, killing it for good. She then retrieves the sword and continued her 搜索 for 苹果 Bloom.

Venturing deep into the Everfree Forest, she paid close attention to what other disaster might come after her. Suddenly, something goes wrong: 苹果 Bloom's hoof prints ended at a boulder. "What could have happened to her?" she asked herself, hoping nothing catastrophic happened to the young filly. She looked behind the boulder, but nothing was there. Maybe she was under the boulder, so Bayonetta dropped Shuraba and rolled the big rock over with her great strength. Sadly, there was nothing under the boulder. The rain then started to get worse, coming down harder than it was. This was not good at all.

Bayonetta was searching 更多 of the Everfree Forest until she came upon Zecora's hut. She knocked on the door to see if the 斑马 was there. After a moment, our heroine broke open the door with a heel slide. "Hello?!" she called out in a loud voice. "Who is there with the roar of a bear?" 说 a voice. Zecora just came home, hopefully meaning good news. "Do 你 know of a young yellow filly named 苹果 Bloom?" the red mare asked the zebra, being 给 a nod in reply. "Have 你 seen her around the forest?" Bayonetta also asked. "I have good news," Zecora said, "That 苹果 Bloom has no bruise. Come, friend. This isn't the end." The 斑马 then concocted a potion that'll tell Bayonetta the whereabouts of her primary concern. After the potion was drunk, our heroine saw 图片 of 苹果 Bloom, a 树 house, a farm. 苹果 Bloom was at home!

Our heroine ran as fast as she could to the clubhouse of the CMC, hoping 苹果 Bloom was there in one piece. When she reached the farm, she ran to the clubhouse. And what do 你 know? 苹果 Bloom's there, 安全 and sound. "Ah wasn't expectin' ya here, Bayo," the filly said. Bayonetta ran up to her and hugged her ever so greatly, saying, "I'm glad you're alright. 你 shouldn't go to a dangerous place like the Everfree Forest ever. I encountered a chimera there and I killed it while I was following your footsteps. What happened?" 苹果 Bloom 说 that she was on her way to Zecora's hut, but she got lost. She also 说 that a pegasus 小马 on weather patrol found her and took her out of the forest. "I'm still glad you're okay," Bayonetta said, still hugging the little filly.

In the end, everything was alright. Nobody was hurt, the rain stopped, and things were back to normal once again... for now.

The end.
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy 显示 that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank 你 everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank 你 very much....
continue reading...
你 see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, 你 got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, 你 got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If 你 wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If 你 wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is 更多 than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what 你 needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult 小马 stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's 最佳, 返回页首 student, i always thought there was something 更多 to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're 更多 than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted 由 his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's 显示 is here.

Tom: Now, most of 你 probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give 你 an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and 你 stop at a red light. Do 你 ever try to 移动 an extra inch 或者 two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when 你 see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. 你 just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining 你 with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most 最近的 film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His 最近的 role as Dr. Robotnik...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but 你 know what another 流行的 target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now 你 assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do 你 really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy 显示 without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, 或者 the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, 或者 Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things 你 should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: 你 know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where 你 can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy 显示 that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank 你 everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank 你 very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help 你 officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. 你 know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times 由 a blue unicorn. He gets punched one 更多 time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted 由 the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are 你 angry at me?
Jake: 你 owe me an apology for the way 你 talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are 你 getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: 你 quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 或者 something, idk), is that this club has 迷失 its backbone. The 最近的 year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught 由 ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
It was a cold night like this one when my father smoked his last cigarette in our family house. The night so cold even me myself did not want to go out. The time? As a kid 你 don't care about that. It was dark, and it was winter. 圣诞节 day. After Equestrian economical fall and industrial boom, everyone changed, the dirty mafias started to leak. My father was part of one of these. A high up. One of important people in Vertezio familia. Still on that night...

Act I

That Night...

"So how was your 日 outside" Father asked me with a smile. "Good" was all I answered. I was 11 what could I say....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: 脸谱
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Darkness - *burst into room* Bad news! Void was kidnapped!
Dan - What?!
Snowflake - Void...


----
Location - ???
---

Void - *wakes up strapped to some 表 covered with bandages* What the...
Nyx - Good 日 VOID. I never thought 你 will be the first to feel truth.
Void - What are you- *looks at him and see big machine behind him*
Nyx - Ah 你 see this. My project. 水果 of my reschearch. The best weapon ever. 你 know - cores are great aren't they. They stay alive for 20 years. But 你 know what is better in them. Their power. A sheer power that may 移动 body 或者 stimulate brain. And this 秒 thing...
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