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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.

Fenix: Con! On here!
korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Rareesa: Con!!
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.

Koreans, and swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call

Con: Hello?
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as 你 can!
Con: I gotta go *floors it*
korean ponies: *follow in other cars*
Con: What did 你 do?
Rareesa: The helicopters were getting shot down, and I left.
Con: 你 just abandoned the germans?!
Rareesa: I made them invincible for 5 minutes.
Con: Oh thank Celestia. We need to escape these ponies now!
koreans: *shoot at Con*
Con: I wanna try something *drops grenades*
koreans: *blow up*
Rareesa: So much for them.
swedish leader: But 你 forgot about us.
Con: *teleports into Ponyville raceway*
swedish pony56: *steals racecar*
Con: *shoots other race cars* That should block his path, and make him go into that lake.
swedish pony56: *hits other cars* No! I'm in the lake
swedish leader: great! *shoots at Con*
Con: *turns left*
Rareesa: What are 你 doing?
Con: Blowing him away *shoots missile*
swedish leader: AAaAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! *dies*
Con: *teleports off race track*
Rareesa: That was cool.
Con: thanks *repairs car*
Fenix: Rareesa! thank 你 for making us invincible.
Rareesa: It was the least I could do, since 你 were about to die.
Con: *laughs* 你 know Rareesa, I've been thinking..
Rareesa: What?
Con: I know we've only known each other for less then two weeks, but..
Rareesa: But what?
Con: I 爱情 you. I know I'll never find another mare like you. Will 你 marry me?
Rareesa: *kisses Con* 你 mean it?
Con: Yes.

So it was settled, Con & Rareesa got married the 下一个 day, and the two were cruising down a road in Con's Corvette.

Con: I got a week's leave, so I'll hang with 你 until I have to go.
Rareesa: I'm planning on joining the C.I.E.
Con: 你 are? What about M.I.6?
Rareesa: Forget them, you're not in it.
Con: *stops car*
Rareesa: *grabs flower* 爱情 me
Con: I already do
Rareesa: Infuriate me.
Con: I would never!
Rareesa: In..
Con: In.. In a great honeymoon.
Rareesa: *laughs*

While the married coupled were kissing, Con was in for a surprise.

Korean mare: *driving by* Is that?
Discord: *shoots at Con*
Con: It's Discord! *gets into car* Discord.

Rareesa was killed, and Con tried to bring her back to life, but his horn was broken. Discord shot it. And 0007 swore to get revenge on the asshole that just killed his wife.

The End

Con Mane will return in Diamond Tiara's Are Forever
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's 显示 is here.

Tom: Now, most of 你 probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give 你 an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and 你 stop at a red light. Do 你 ever try to 移动 an extra inch 或者 two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when 你 see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. 你 just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining 你 with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most 最近的 film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His 最近的 role as Dr. Robotnik...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but 你 know what another 流行的 target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now 你 assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do 你 really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy 显示 without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, 或者 the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, 或者 Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things 你 should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: 你 know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where 你 can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy 显示 that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank 你 everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank 你 very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help 你 officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. 你 know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times 由 a blue unicorn. He gets punched one 更多 time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted 由 the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are 你 angry at me?
Jake: 你 owe me an apology for the way 你 talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are 你 getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: 你 quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 或者 something, idk), is that this club has 迷失 its backbone. The 最近的 year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught 由 ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
It was a cold night like this one when my father smoked his last cigarette in our family house. The night so cold even me myself did not want to go out. The time? As a kid 你 don't care about that. It was dark, and it was winter. 圣诞节 day. After Equestrian economical fall and industrial boom, everyone changed, the dirty mafias started to leak. My father was part of one of these. A high up. One of important people in Vertezio familia. Still on that night...

Act I

That Night...

"So how was your 日 outside" Father asked me with a smile. "Good" was all I answered. I was 11 what could I say....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: 脸谱
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Darkness - *burst into room* Bad news! Void was kidnapped!
Dan - What?!
Snowflake - Void...


----
Location - ???
---

Void - *wakes up strapped to some 表 covered with bandages* What the...
Nyx - Good 日 VOID. I never thought 你 will be the first to feel truth.
Void - What are you- *looks at him and see big machine behind him*
Nyx - Ah 你 see this. My project. 水果 of my reschearch. The best weapon ever. 你 know - cores are great aren't they. They stay alive for 20 years. But 你 know what is better in them. Their power. A sheer power that may 移动 body 或者 stimulate brain. And this 秒 thing...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tim, and Julia returned to the police station.

Captain Jefferson: Tim Miller, and Julia Rose.
Tim: Hello Captain.
Captain Jefferson: I heard about your heroic act on Monday Avenue. Well done.
Julia: Don't give us all of the credit Captain. There were other officers as well.
Captain Jefferson: I understand. When I see them, I'll give them their congrats as well.
Tim: We still on stakeout tomorrow Captain?
Captain Jefferson: That's right. You're on stakeout until further notice.

Next day.

Tim: *Driving his 毒蛇 passing Local Consideration*
Julia: Let's check out The Highway.
Tim: *Turns right on Byer Lane*...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Epilouge.
----------------
5 Years later.
----
Canterlot
13th May
---
Sandman - 13th of may...
Mare - A really fearful 日 huh?
Sandman - Damn right. I saw this city burn. I saw it die slowly.
Mare - It's okay. It's not rebuilded fully but it has buty it had before.
Sandman - Maybe but Eiffla tower won't be fixed. New York statue the same.
Mare - You're right on that...
---
Ice - Damn it's hot this may.
Fire - Yeah. It was quiet hot that 日 too.
Ice - Damn right.

----
Colt - Dad tell me about the war!
Damien - Well your dad fought for city we live in - Canterlot. 你 know it was hard but your daddy wanted to...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: April 12, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 8:46 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Stylo walked into the station, and was going to talk to Pete, when he came out of his office.

Pete: There 你 are Stylo. I need 你 to come here.
Stylo: Perfect. I was just on my way to see you. *Enters Pete's office*

They say down at Pete's desk

Stylo: Sir,
Stylo & Pete: If I may start fir-
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo & Pete: It's fine, 你 can-
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo & Pete: Wanna go first?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: 你 go first.
Stylo: Okay. I've had it with Mike destroying our stuff on this railroad....
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