January 1, 2013,

I was just getting back to Neverland after filming the pilot episode of "my stepbrother is a secret agent" and I'm excited because this new job has way better work hours than my 音乐 career does. I'm not saying that I'm giving up on 音乐 but, I do need a break from it for a while and surprisingly my manager Frank took the news very well.

It was just a little after 10 o'clock in the morning when I walked through the front door and Kyle was in the 厨房 making pancakes. I walked up behind him and kissed his neck as he 说 "I can already tell that I'm going to like having 你 首页 so early every day!" Carter ran into the room and pretty much jumped into my arms with excitement.

I helped Kyle set the 表 and all of us sat down to eat breakfast. Kyle 说 as he helped Carter cut his 薄煎饼, 煎饼 "we have to start thinking about when we're going to tell your family about our engagement. They haven't even seen Neverland since we moved in. I think everyone's long overdue for a visit; don't you?" I 说 "Prince, Blanket, and Paris yes… My other family members not so much! They always cause problems when it is definitely not necessary!" He 说 "just think about it because 你 can't keep them away forever babe!" I 说 "I know that; I just think we should invite them over tomorrow and get all this over with! I'm perfectly fine with having my siblings come over here anytime they want to; even if they wanted to sleep over! I would 爱情 that!"

January 2, 2013,

Kyle had just walked in carrying four boxes of 比萨, 比萨饼 in his arms when my family members pulled into the driveway. I rolled my eyes and 说 sarcastically "oh joy; this is going to be fun!" I opened up the door and was surprised to see that it was only my aunt Latoya and of my siblings. I 说 as I hugged each of them "I'm a little surprised that grandma didn't at least come!" Aunt Latoya 说 "she couldn't deal with coming here and remembering how happy your dad was when he was living here." I 说 sympathetically "I understand; there's plenty of time for her to visit us!"

As we sat down at the table, I reached for a piece of 比萨, 比萨饼 and Paris noticed my engagement ring. She looked at my aunt and asked "is that a promise ring AJ? Please tell me that's just a promise ring!" I 说 "it's not a promise ring Paris; it's an engagement ring!" Paris 说 almost seeming to be in denial "engagement ring as in engaged to be married?" I 说 "yes; that would be why it's called an engagement ring!" My aunt’s eyes widened as she stared at me with a stunned look on her face. She 说 "engagement ring; really Kyle? Are 你 sure you're ready for such a big commitment at 19 years old?" Kyle responded "if it was any other girl, I wouldn't have proposed so quickly; but I'm truly in 爱情 with AJ and always will be!" Aunt Latoya asked "you know that Carter's part of the deal if 你 marry AJ right?"

We moved into the living room and Kyle continued the conversation 由 saying "of course I do!" I 说 "Carter calls him daddy and says that he is his daddy!" Aunt Latoya laughed and asked "yeah; but how much of the dirty work that goes along with parenting are 你 doing Kyle?" I 说 "I don't know who told 你 that the two of us aren't good parents! I'm assuming from my uncles… Don't believe everything that they say because they blow everything out of proportion!" She 说 "they told me that Carter still drinks out of a baby bottle and wears diapers!" I 说 "they haven't seen him in months! They don't know what they're talking about! We may be teenage parents; but I think we're doing a pretty good job at it! He doesn't drink from a bottle anymore!" She asked "well; what about the diaper situation?" I 说 "they are completely gone for your information! I would think that 你 out of all people wouldn't believe everything that comes out of some of the family's mouths!" She 说 "it's not that I believed them; it's just that you're just a teenager who doesn't really know anything about parenting."

I furrowed my eyebrows because I was quite offended 由 what my aunt had just 说 and 说 "just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean that I can't figure it out!" She 说 "I didn't mean for that to sound rude." I 说 wanting to let it go "it did sound rude; but that's alright!" Prince asked as he looked at me "you do realize that most of the family is going to flip out about this whole 你 and Kyle getting married thing; right?" I 说 "that's alright; they always complain about something that I do 或者 don't do. I'm used to 由 now!" Paris 说 "I have a feeling that some of them won't come to the wedding just because they want to annoy 你 AJ." I 说 "I really don't care anymore! I've seen firsthand how two-faced they can be and I don't really want to associate with them! I can see why dad kept us a 安全 distance away from them!" Kyle 说 "all I care about is that I get married to AJ! It doesn't matter what it takes! I know that she is the one for me and other people's opinions don't matter!"

January 3, 2013,

It was barely 7 in the morning when Kyle and I were woken up 由 this loud banging noise coming from outside. Kyle rubbed his eyes and asked "what the hell is that noise babe?" I forced myself out of 床, 床上 and looked out the window. I 说 "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" Kyle asked "what is it?" I bit my bottom lip in anger as I 说 "my uncles are outside ramming their fucking car into the front gate!" Kyle looked out the window and shook his head in disbelief as I put my slippers on. Kyle asked "where are 你 going?" I asked "where do 你 think I'm going? I'm going to find out what the hell their problem is!" He 说 "I don't think that's a good idea AJ! Maybe I should just call the cops!" I 说 "the cops aren't going to get through to them; they never do! I'm going down there to deal with this myself!" He 说 "then I'm going with 你 to back 你 up!" I quickly looked into Carter's bedroom and noticed that he was still sleeping.

Kyle and I walked up to the front gate outside in our pajamas. Once they saw us coming, my uncles got out of the car and Marlon 说 "you guys better not get married! We totally disapprove of all of this!" Jermaine asked "what are 你 two thinking? 你 guys are only a couple of stupid teenagers!" I 说 "first of all, what the hell are 你 doing ramming into the gate like that? 秒 of all, 你 guys don't really have a lot of room to talk! Each of 你 doesn’t know how to respect a woman!" Randy 说 "yes we do and we know a whole lot 更多 about 爱情 than 你 do!" I 说 "really? Last time I checked all of 你 have either several failed marriages 或者 a marriage in shambles!" Jackie 说 "if 你 and Kyle go through with this wedding, all of us will be there to protest!" Kyle laughed and 说 "you really think we care about your approval; newsflash we don't!"

I looked at the damage that had been afflicted on the gate and 说 "you guys are going to be paying for this!" Tito 说 "you make millions and millions of dollars; pay for it yourself!" I 说 "if I don't receive a check in the mail from 你 within the 下一个 week, I will be pressing charges for property damage and attempted trespassing!" Jackie 说 "I don't believe you'll actually go through with it; but whatever helps 你 sleep at night!"

They all got back into the car and drove off in the other direction. I looked at Kyle in complete disbelief and asked "are they really that immature?" Kyle 说 "apparently!" I 说 "I know how my dad was with confrontation of any kind and he must've been terrified of my uncles!!! They don't scare me at all and I was being dead serious when I 说 that I'm going to press charges on them if they don’t give me the money to repair the gate! Dad probably would've let them get away with it just to keep the peace; but I'm not like that and they'll learn their lesson quickly! I don't know how many times I have to say 或者 do something until they realize not to mess with me! I'm so sick of the ridiculousness they cause! They are grown men and need to start 表演 like it because I'm getting fed up with their crap!"

February 11, 2013,

I was sitting in the living room watching TV with Carter while Kyle did some maintenance work on my truck when I got a phone call from Prince. I answered it and asked "what's up? I miss 你 guys!" He 说 "you know my 16th birthday is coming up and I don't really have anything planned. Blanket was thinking of what he would want to do for his 11th birthday and he brought up the idea of hanging out at Neverland to have a sleepover together." I 说 "it's funny that 你 bring that up because I was just talking to Kyle the other 日 about having a sleepover with the three of you!" Prince asked "so does that mean Blanket, Paris, and I can sleepover at Neverland?" I 说 "of course; but instead of just staying one night since tomorrow's Friday, 你 guys should just stay for the whole weekend!" I could hear Paris in the background asking "is AJ going to let us stay the night at Neverland? I haven't been there since 2005 and I've been dying to go over there since I found out she owns the ranch!" Prince 说 "the entire weekend is even better! We'll be there around 4 o'clock tomorrow! Thank 你 so much AJ!" I 说 "you don't need to thank me Prince! I miss 你 guys and can't wait to see you! Carter needs help with something; so I have to get off the phone now. I'll see the three of 你 tomorrow." He 说 "okay AJ; we 爱情 你 and can't wait to spend the whole weekend at the ranch!"

February 12, 2013,

Kyle had just gotten back from picking up the Chinese 食物 we ordered and we were waiting for my siblings to get here; so we could start the weekend long sleep over at Neverland. I opened the front gate from a keypad inside the house as a car pulled up in front of the entrance to the ranch and dropped them off. As I welcomed Blanket, Paris, and Prince inside, I noticed Paris had dramatically changed her appearance from the last time I had seen her. She died her hair black and had it cut in a punk rock style. I stared at her in silence for a few 秒 trying to come up with the right words to say and I 说 "it's a little surprising to see this new side of 你 that I didn't know existed; but I like it!" She thanked me and we all sat down at the 表 to start eating.

I asked "how are things going for 你 guys over at grandma's?" Blanket 说 "it was really fun in the beginning; but now she's hardly ever around anymore!" I asked "what do 你 mean?" Paris 说 "ever since our uncles and Janet kidnapped her over the summer, they've been watching her like a hawk! I'm assuming 你 saw the video of me and Aunt Janet arguing in the driveway at Havenhurst! She took my phone away when I tried to reach out for help when we hadn't heard from grandma in a few days! I was really worried about her; Prince and I both were!" Prince 说 "I was going to call 你 AJ; but there's not much 你 can do from halfway around the world!" I 说 "you still could've called me! I told 你 that if 你 ever needed anything that I would be there for you; no matter what!" Paris 说 "I am so sick of all this drama! The biggest reason we wanted to come over here was to get away from the rest of the family!" I 说 "I know how 你 feel because they had been harassing Kyle and me ever since they found out about the two of us planning to get married! They leave nasty notes in the mailbox and try to scare us with their threats." Prince 说 "it's probably only going to get worse after 你 two get married! All they do when they come over to our house is complain about 你 and Kyle! It's really starting to make me mad!" I asked "why; what do they say about me and Kyle?" Prince 说 "they say that you're really immature and that Kyle doesn't know the real side of who 你 are AJ!" Kyle 说 "they don't even know what they're talking about! I can guarantee 你 that I know 更多 about AJ then all of them combined!" I 说 "they only see what they want to see! They bring out the anger in me! Very few people can make me that mad!" Paris 说 "after 你 pressed charges on them for damage to the front gate and attempted trespassing, they flipped out! It was only a $500 fine 或者 they could have fought 你 in court over it! I couldn't believe they actually thought about taking it to court instead of paying 500 bucks! It would've only been $100 each for them to pay the fine equally! I don't understand why they would want to make a big deal out of nothing!" I 说 "it's because they just want to get as much money as they can from me! That's the only motive they have and that's all they care about!" Kyle 说 "I really hope that 你 guys try to stay away from them as much is possible because they are up to no good!" I 说 "alright; enough with all this drama; let's have some fun!"

I started to 显示 them around the house and Prince noticed the grand 钢琴 sitting in the corner of the living room. He asked "is that the same 钢琴 that was here when we all lived here?" I 说 "yes; it is!" He ran his fingers across the keys and 说 "I remember that all of us would sit on the floor while dad played us some songs a little while before we went to bed." I 说 "yeah; and 你 and I would argue over who would sit on his lap! I've kind of forgotten all the songs that daddy taught me when I was little." Blanket 说 "I wish I wasn't three years old when we moved out of here because I don't really remember anything dad did with us here." I 说 "that's alright Blanket; I bet 你 still have a lot of fun memories with daddy in the other places we lived in together!" He 说 "I still have some memories; but I'm forgetting most of them because I was only seven when he died!" I 说 after thinking about it for a few 分钟 "follow me 你 guys; I have an idea!"

Blanket, Prince, Paris, Carter, Kyle, and I all walked down from the main house to the personal movie theater that was on the ranch. Kyle and I haven't set foot inside it since we moved to the ranch and this seemed like the perfect excuse too! We walked inside and saw the concession stand that the few staff members I hired a couple of weeks 以前 had stalked full of candy. The 爆米花 machine was already running and the buttery smell filled the air around us. Blanket asked "this was really our own movie theater AJ? I 说 "yeah; it's pretty cool!" Paris asked "why did 你 want to bring us to the movie theater?" I opened a nearby door and we walked into the screening room. Kyle sat down with Carter on his lap and helped him open up a package of 酸, 酸奶 gummy worms.

10 分钟 later, I came in carrying a huge stack of videotapes and Blanket asked "what are 你 doing AJ?" I 说 "you'll see in a minute" as I popped a videotape into the VHS machine that was installed in the wall. I sat down in the chair 下一个 to Prince and a 首页 video started playing.

*In the 首页 video, dated at the bottom of the screen February 18, 2001*

Dad, Prince, and I were all sitting on the couch. I asked "daddy; why do 你 have to leave tomorrow?" He responded as he looked down at me "you know I have to work AJ. I wish I could stay every single day; but I do have to leave every once in a while to make money." Prince 说 "I'm going to miss 你 too much daddy! I don't want 你 to leave!" Dad 说 "I know 苹果 head; but I have to! You're going to have fun here with Grace; I promise!" I 说 "you always say that we'll have fun while you're gone; but we never do! It's so much 更多 fun when you're 首页 daddy 或者 when 你 take us with 你 on your trips!" He 说 "I know AJ; but I can't always take 你 with me; especially because there are three of 你 now and I can't leave Prince and Paris behind!" I 说 "I know; I'm just going to miss 你 tucking me into 床, 床上 every night and playing hide and seek!" He 说 "I'm only going to be gone for three days and then I'll be back!" I asked "you're still going to help me get ready for 床, 床上 tonight; right? He 说 "I always do!"

The video cuts off for a few 秒 and then continues onto 显示 dad lying 下一个 to me in my bed. I asked "am I going to be able to see 你 tomorrow morning before 你 leave?" He 说 "I don't think so sweetheart because I'm leaving really early in the morning!" I asked "daddy; can I ask 你 something?" He 说 "of course 你 can!" I asked "what's it like to be in love?" He had a surprised look on his face that such a big 问题 could come from a six-year-old. He pondered it back and forth in his mind for a few 分钟 before saying "it depends on what kind of 爱情 you're asking about." I asked "what kinds of 爱情 are there?" He 说 "well; there's 爱情 like what I have for 你 and your brother and sister. Like the way a mommy 或者 daddy loves their children. Then there's 小狗 love." I 说 "I know what 你 mean; like when a boy dog and a girl dog 爱情 each other!" He chuckled and 说 "no; that's not what 小狗 爱情 is! 小狗 爱情 is when two young people think they might 爱情 each other." I 说 "oh; are there any 更多 kinds of love?" He 说 "there is one more." I asked "what's it called?" He responded after waiting a few 秒 "true love." I asked "how do 你 know the difference between true 爱情 and regular love?" He 说 "trust me; when the time comes you'll know the difference! You'll just be able to tell! Why are 你 asking me all these 问题 about love?" I 说 "I don't know; I was just wondering." He 说 after lightly pecking my lips "oh okay; just as long as 你 don't go out and fall in 爱情 with any boys anytime soon! Your daddy's little girl and if it were up to me 你 wouldn't 日期 any boys until 你 turned 50 years old!"

*Video ends*

I definitely understand what true 爱情 is supposed to feel like now because I'm truly in 爱情 with Kyle. It's funny how dad just knew that someday I would figure this whole being in 爱情 thing out! I put another videotape in the VHS and pressed play.

*In the video dated at the bottom of the screen March 1, 1999*

Dad looks directly into the camera and says "hello world; I just want to 显示 你 what I have to deal with on a daily basis." He points the camera in my direction and asks "do 你 know why you're in timeout this time AJ? I 说 "I don't care! Shut up; 你 stupid daddy!" He sternly 说 "stop that right now! 你 don't tell me to shut up 或者 call me stupid; that's not nice at all!" I started taking off one of my shoes and pretended like I was going to throw it at him. He 说 "don't even think about it AJ!" I laughed as I threw my left shoe directly into the camera lens and just barely missing his face. He asked "why would 你 do that AJ?" I stuck my tongue out at him and 说 "because 你 told me not to; that's why!" He sighed with frustration and 说 "it doesn't matter how many times I put 你 in the corner; it always turns into a battle! Do I need to go over there and hold 你 on my lap until 你 calm down?" I 说 "I AM CALMED DOWN!!!" He 说 "no you're not and what did I tell 你 about yelling in this house? Do we yell here?" I 说 "NO!!!" He calmly asked "then why are 你 still yelling at me Alanna?" I 说 "BECAUSE 你 WON'T LET ME OUT OF TIMEOUT!!!" He 说 "you yelling at me won't get 你 any closer to being out of Timeout! 你 know that yelling at me isn't going to bother me AJ."

I started crying and he 说 "that's not going to work anymore either!" I 说 "you're a mean daddy!" He 说 "that's not a nice thing to say to me. Do 你 realize that if 你 just calm down 你 would already be out of the corner?" I 说 "JUST SHUT UP DADDY!!!" He 说 "stop telling me to shut up Alanna Michael Jackson! I hope you're not in timeout for three hours straight like 你 were earlier."

*Video ends*

Prince 说 "I can't believe 你 use to talk to dad like that!" Paris 说 "yeah I know AJ; and then 你 threw your shoe at daddy's head!" I 说 "I used to be really out of control; but since I had Carter I have calmed down a lot! I've only gotten into a few fights since then and try my best to avoid situations where I would have to fight. Before, I would go looking for someone to start a fight with; just so I could prove that I was stronger than them! I hate to say it but, I think the fact that dad isn't physically here anymore has caused me to grow up a lot just because he isn't there to protect me from a bad situation that I put myself in anymore!"

February 13, 2013,

We were all sitting around the 表 eating the birthday cake I bought for Prince and I 说 "so little brother; I saw the picture of the police officer 写作 你 a ticket for the way 你 parked one of the cars!" He laughed and 说 "cut me some slack AJ; this whole driving thing is new to me!" I 说 "I know; I just like messing with you!" He asked "I still have to finish a few 更多 hours of driving with an adult in the car before I can go for my official driving test and I was wondering if 你 would ride around with me in the car today?" I 说 "sure; Kyle will 你 stay here with my brother and sister and Carter while I go with Prince?" He 说 "that's fine babe; I don't know what all of us are going to do; but we'll have fun!" Carter 说 "daddy; can we go swimming in the pool?" Paris 说 "that sounds like fun!" I 说 "alright; 你 guys have fun! Prince and I will be back in a few hours."

Prince climbed into the driver’s 座位 in my truck and I sat 下一个 to him in the passenger's seat. I 说 "you better not crash my truck because you'll never hear me forgive you!" Prince looked at me horrified and I 说 “I’m joking! There's no pressure!" He took a sigh of relief and started the truck. As we drove many roads in Santa Barbara, we started to make small talk. Prince asked "so how do 你 like being an adult?" I 说 "it doesn't really feel any different to me because ever since grandma kicked me out of her house Kyle and I have pretty much been doing everything on our own. It's definitely weird paying bills and signing documents; but I like having the responsibility. I don't have to depend on other people anymore to make sure that things get done!" He 说 "grandma really misses 你 and started to regret making 你 leave. I think she realizes now that 你 live at Neverland with Kyle and Carter that 你 will never 移动 back into her house! I think she knows that dad would have been disappointed in both her and 你 for letting it get to the point where 你 need to be on your own pretty much at 17 years old. Dad would never let 你 go out on your own at that age; let alone take Carter with you! Grandma felt really badly for that and worried about 你 for days on end until Aunt Latoya called her and told her that the three of 你 were staying with her." I 说 "I was never really mad at grandma for kicking me out. Sure, I was mad in the moment; but that's part of my oppositional defiance disorder. I know I deserved to be kicked out of the house because she did warn me about anything going on between Kyle and I. Honestly, I felt really stupid about it afterwards! I wasn't really worried about myself; I was 更多 worried about Carter!" Prince 说 "I was really mad at uncle Jermaine for threatening to bring 鸭, 德雷克 to the pound if 你 didn't come to pick him up! I actually ended up getting into an argument with him about it! I'm not usually the type to challenge the adults; but that was totally uncalled for!" I 说 "I'm completely fine with 你 guys stepping out into the spotlight a little bit; I just don't want it to get in the way of your education because that's what's most important right now! I saw Paris on the Ellen 显示 and heard that you're conducting an interview for entertainment tonight!" Prince 说 "Blanket isn't really handling not having 你 living with us that well! Even though he is 11, he cries for 你 almost every night when he's in his room 由 himself! I go in there and asking what's wrong; but all he'll tell me is that he misses daddy even 更多 now that he doesn't see 你 every day!" I 说 "well; anytime 你 guys want to come see me and hang out is fine with me! I get off of work from filming the Nickelodeon 显示 around noon most days." He 说 "once I get my license we'll visit 你 a lot more! I don't really like asking people to drive us over to your house because all they do is complain about you!" I 说 "don't pay any attention to them Prince; they aren't worth it!" He 说 "it's almost like they forget that you’re my older sister and they criticize 你 right in front of us! They don't even care about our opinions and the worst part is that they don't even really know us! They may think they do; but they don't!" I 说 "let them talk bad about me all they want because I don't care and I never will! The only people whose opinion matters to me are Kyle, my siblings, Carter, and dad!"

We pulled back into the driveway at Neverland and got out of the truck. Prince and I walked out to the backyard where the swimming pool is. I sat down on the edge of the pool and let my feet hang over the side into the water. Blanket, Kyle, Paris, and Carter noticed us and I chuckled at how cute Carter looked swimming around with his little Spiderman lifejacket on! Kyle lifted Blanket up and tossed him halfway across the pool. Blanket 说 as he resurfaced to the 最佳, 返回页首 of the water "you should come in AJ!" Carter 说 "yeah mommy; 你 should come in!" I 说 "I think I'm okay up here for now." Kyle asked "Carter; do 你 want me to make mommy get in the pool?" Carter 说 "yeah daddy; but how are 你 going to do that?" He 说 "you'll see" as he looked at me with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He climbed out of the pool and slowly walked up to me as I laughed. I 说 "you wouldn't dare!" He chuckled and 说 "oh; but I would!" I walked backwards and 说 as I put my arms up to block him from grabbed me "I have a pair of $200 jeans on; don't!" I bumped into Prince as I continuously walked backwards and he playfully pushed me towards Kyle. As Kyle picked me up, I shouted "no, no, no!" I started laughing uncontrollably and grabbed onto Prince's 衬衫 as I 说 "if I'm going in then you're going in with me!"

I pulled Prince just barely inside the pool before Kyle tossed me with all his might across to the deep end. I came up for air and 说 "you are so dead Kyle!" I climbed out of the pool and went over to where Paris was sitting drying off of the towel. Paris asked "you really are in 爱情 with Kyle; aren't you?" I 说 "of course I am! I wouldn't have taken the engagement ring if I wasn't!" She 说 "I can honestly say that I've never seen 你 so happy in my life! Kyle is such a great guy and any guy who would father a child that isn't biologically his is amazing to me!" I 说 "yeah; I know and that's what I wish other people would see!" She 说 "while 你 were gone with Prince I finally got to see what 你 were talking about! He got Carter dressed to go swimming, made sure that he ate enough of his lunch, and he even helped Carter wipe his nose when he sneezed everywhere earlier! He is the only guy I know besides dad that wouldn't hesitate to clean up boogers!" I 说 "I know; it almost makes the want to cry because that should be Damien! Trust me, I couldn't care less if I ever saw Damien again; but at least Carter has Kyle! It's sad to think that the only father that he's ever known isn't even his father! I just don't want him to know about Damien yet because I don't want him to get his hopes up that Damien will be there! Kyle already does everything that any good daddy would do! I couldn't ask for a better fiancé if I picked him out myself! He watches Carter all 日 for me while I'm out living my dream! He picks up 食物 for me and brings it to me at work! He gives Carter a bath four nights a week because we agreed to 分裂, 拆分 that evenly! He cleans up everything and anything that Carter does 或者 plays with; including things that most fathers wouldn't even go near 或者 want anything to do with! I just 爱情 Kyle so much; it's the kind of 爱情 that 你 can't even describe!" Paris 说 "I think if daddy was here he would totally approve of 你 getting married to Kyle; even if 你 guys are only a couple of teenagers!" I asked" just out of curiosity; what if instead of Kyle and me getting married it was Damien? What do 你 think dad would say?" She 说 "dad would have a total freak out! He hated Damien for all the pain that he caused you! I'm so glad that 你 realized that Damien wasn't good for 你 或者 Carter! I agree with 你 on Kyle; I think he's the perfect guy for 你 and Carter!"



February 14, 2013,

I had just gotten 首页 from work, after an extra-long 日 and was just happy to be able to relax. It was 9 o'clock at night when I walked through the front door of the house and all the lights were off. I turned them on and walked upstairs. I glanced over in Carter's room and noticed that he was asleep. I walked into his room and turned the TV off after 接吻 the 最佳, 返回页首 of his head which was still wet from taking a bath earlier. I shut the door as I left the room and went down to our bedroom.

I turned on the light and saw Kyle sitting on the edge of the 床, 床上 with rose petals surrounding him. He 说 "happy Valentine's 日 babe! I know 你 don't really like romantic holidays like this; but I wanted to do something special!" I kissed his lips as I sat down 下一个 to him on the bed. I went to grab the box of condoms that was sitting on 最佳, 返回页首 of the dresser and he 说 "you know AJ; we don't really need to use those!" I asked with a confused look on my face "why; I thought this whole romantic thing was to get me in the mood and it's working! 你 didn't really have to do all this to make me want to!" He 说 "that's not what I meant! Obviously I want to have sex with 你 because it's Valentine's 日 and I 爱情 you! What I meant was that we don't need to use the condoms!" I 说 "but; if we don't use them there is chance that 你 could get me pregnant!" He 说 "that's the whole point AJ; I want to have a baby with you!" I 说 "whoa; slow down Kyle! We aren't even married yet!" He 说 "so; let's go get married at the courthouse in a couple days!" I asked "what's gotten into you? Why do 你 want to do all this so suddenly?" He 说 "your uncles came 由 the ranch again this morning and spray-painted the sign outside. I say that 你 and I just go get married as soon as possible. We can still have the big wedding in a few 更多 years; but this way everyone will know that we were serious when we 说 that we were getting married and maybe they'll leave us alone!" I 说 "actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all! Instead of doing the whole thing with a priest, we should just save all of that for the big wedding. 你 and I can just go down to the courthouse for now and sign a marriage license that states that we are legally married just so my uncles can't try to sabotage anything anymore!" He 说 "sounds good to me; just as long as the family knows that we will eventually have a huge ceremony like a normal wedding when we have 更多 time!" I 说 "the people that matter will understand where we're coming from! I would never leave them out of the real marriage! This is just the paperwork that says that were married; not an important wedding! I would never leave any of them out of that!"

February 17, 2013,

We just left the courthouse after signing our marriage license, and we are headed over to my grandmother's house to tell everyone. We pulled into the driveway and I asked "are 你 ready for this… Husband?" Kyle laughed and 说 "you're so cheesy! Yes I'm ready for this… Wife!" I held Carter's hand as he walked inside and the entire family was waiting for us. Uncle Randy 说 "I heard 你 have an announcement to make.” I 说 as I took a deep breath "Kyle and I got married."

Just like I thought they would, they immediately erupted into a barrage of screaming and protest. Uncle Jermaine asked "what do 你 mean 你 guys got married? I thought 你 were going to have a wedding!" I 说 "we are; just not right now because I'm too busy with work to plan a wedding! We just went down to the courthouse and signed our marriage license; that's all! We are saving all the special stuff for the big wedding ceremony in a couple of years!" Grandma smiled and 说 "I really don't understand why your uncles are being so immature about this! I'm happy for 你 and Kyle!" Jackie asked as he raised his voice at my grandmother "how can 你 be happy for them? This is the stupidest thing they have done! Michael would be flipping out right now if he was here!" Kyle 说 softly "actually; AJ and I went to a psychic to get Michael's approval on the marriage and he was okay with it!" Uncle Tito 说 "all that psychic stuff is fake and 你 are just using that as an excuse!" Paris 说 at the 最佳, 返回页首 of her lungs trying to overpower the screaming that was going on in the room "EVERYBODY JUST BE QUIET! WHY CAN'T 你 JUST BE HAPPY FOR AJ? EVERYTHING CAN'T ALWAYS BE ABOUT 你 GUYS!" She ran upstairs and I ran after her.

I followed Paris into her bedroom and shut the door behind me. She had tears in her eyes and her mascara was running down her face. I looked at her sympathetically and 说 "it's alright Paris! I don't give a shit about what they think!" I 说 down on the 床, 床上 下一个 to her and put my arm around her as she 说 "I hate it when our uncles come over here! It's always so stressful because all they want to do is start drama! I don't know why they like to pick on 你 so much; I don't get it! What did 你 ever do to them to deserve that?" I 说 "it's not about what I did to them; it's about what I have! They are just jealous of my success and I guarantee 你 that if I passed each of them $1000 that they would totally be with us being married! All they care about is money Paris! That's all they'll ever care about!" She 说 "I'm so excited that 你 and Kyle are married! I know that dad would be excited too! It's funny because dad would always joke around when we were little about 你 and Kyle getting married someday!" I laughed and 说 "it's pretty ironic that me and Kyle are actually married now!"

May, 7, 2013,

Kyle and I are slowly settling into married life and it's actually pretty easy to use to! We were upstairs getting ready for 床, 床上 and Kyle was in the bathroom that is in our bedroom brushing his teeth. I looked in from the spot where I was laying in bed. He laid down on the 床, 床上 and I 说 "now that we're married; I've been thinking about this whole baby thing and I think we should go ahead and start trying to get pregnant." He 说 in an excited tone "finally; let's start now!"

June 13, 2013,

There is a knock on the front door of Neverland and I went up to answer it. It was my grandmother with my siblings. I invited them inside and we went into the living room where Carter was watching TV with Kyle. They all sat down on the 长椅, 沙发 with us and my grandmother 说 "I just want to apologize to 你 for the way that your uncles acted when 你 announced everything with the marriage license." I 说 "you don't need to apologize to me grandma; I know that you're scared of them and that they intimidate you!" She 说 "I 爱情 you, Kyle, and Carter! I don't have a problem at all with 你 to getting married with a marriage license for now and then the ceremony later! I can completely see that 你 two are in love!"

Carter interrupted the conversation 由 saying something that absolutely embarrassed me beyond belief. He asked right in front of everyone "mommy; how come daddy makes 你 scream at night when you're in your room with him?" Kyle looked at me with a mortified look on his face and I started to blush. I 说 "oh my God; this is embarrassing!" Grandma immediately burst out laughing as I turned bright red. She 说 "so I guess that 问题 from Carter means that 你 and Kyle just might be ready for another baby?" I 说 as I continued to blush "possibly; I'm still stuck on the fact that Carter was awake all those times and heard Kyle and I!" Kyle 说 "I guess we automatically assume that he will be sleeping when we decide to try because it's usually midnight!" I 说 wanting to change the subject away from the sex life between Kyle and I "I have to go to work soon so; 你 guys might want to leave!"

After they left, Kyle looked at me and then Carter asked "daddy; how come 你 make mommy scream like that?" Kyle 说 completely at a loss for words "ummm; mommy and I are just watching scary 电影院 together in our bedroom. We don't wake 你 up; do we?" Carter responded "not really; I get up to go to my potty in the middle of the night and I can hear mommy screaming. I thought 你 were hurting her daddy." I forced back laughter and 说 "don't worry buddy; daddy would never hurt me! Daddy and I just watch some really scary 电影院 at night and it makes me scream really loud." Carter 说 "oh okay then; just as long as you're not hurting mommy daddy!" He ran off upstairs and Kyle and I both took a sigh of relief. Kyle 说 "oh my God AJ! 你 and I need to be 更多 careful about making sure Carter's asleep!" I 说 "I'm just glad that he didn't decide to walk in on us! That would have terrified him! I'm locking our bedroom door from now on; so at least he will have to knock! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" Kyle 说 "tell me about it! We just had our son describe the noises that he hears 你 and I making while we're being intimate to your 80-year-old grandmother and little siblings!" Afterwards, Kyle and I couldn't help but laugh at the awkward situation our son had created!

August 5, 2013,

I stood in the bathroom and tossed yet another negative pregnancy test into the trashcan which was now overflowing with the past pregnancy tests I have taken. I walked out of the bathroom and Kyle could tell 由 the expression on my face that it wasn't successful. I threw my hands up in the air as I sat down 下一个 to him on the 床, 床上 and 说 "I don't get it! It was so easy for me to get pregnant the first time! 你 and I have literally had sex every night for the past five months and still nothing! I wonder if something is wrong with me!" He 说 "maybe 你 should just make a doctor’s appointment just to be sure that nothing's wrong babe!" I 说 "I'll see if the doctor can fit me in for an appointment tomorrow morning before I go to work. I hope nothing's wrong with me that stopping me from getting pregnant!"

August 6, 2013,

Kyle and I sat there in a hospital room waiting for the results of the tests the doctor performed on me. Thankfully, Prince and Paris are still off from school for the summer and agreed to watch Carter during my appointment. Kyle and I were both worried because it was taking the doctor a really long time to come back into the room.

After 20 分钟 of waiting, Dr. Simpson came back into the room and 说 "every single test I ran on 你 came back negative. There should be no reason why 你 yourself can't become pregnant. You've obviously had a child before; so your eggs looked perfectly fine to me. Do 你 mind if I do some blood work on 你 Kyle?" He 说 "I don't see why not." She ran some tests down to the lab and we were once again left waiting in the hospital room for the results.

Dr. Simpson came back into the room and 说 "I've never seen this in a 19 年 old before!" Kyle and I both asked in unison "what is it?" She responded "from everything that I can tell from the tests… You're almost completely sterol Kyle. 你 only have a 5% chance of getting AJ pregnant with your own equipment; if that's what 你 want to call it!" Kyle just looked at me and bolted out of the room. I 说 as I looked at Dr. Simpson "I better go after him; thanks for making time for my appointment."

I ran outside to the parking lot and saw Kyle sitting on the curb trying his best not to cry. I sat down 下一个 to him and 说 "there's still that 5% chance that 你 could get me pregnant naturally. We can keep trying if 你 want to!" He asked "what's the point? I'm not real man according to what the doctor just 说 in there!" I put my arm around him and 说 "just because 你 can’t get me pregnant with your own stuff doesn't make 你 any less of a man than 你 are in my eyes!" He asked "what makes 你 say that babe?" I 说 "think about it; it takes a real man to be a father to a child that isn't even biologically his! 你 gave up your dream of being a mechanic just so I could live my dream! That's way 更多 than Damien would ever do for Carter 或者 me if I was with him instead of you!" Kyle asked "you really wouldn't 爱情 me any less? Even if 你 and I can never physically create a child together?" I 说 "of course I would still 爱情 你 as much as I do now! I 爱情 你 for 你 and that other stuff has nothing to do with it! Besides; just think of how much money we'll save because we really don't need condoms anymore!" Kyle smirked and 说 "yeah; that's always a good thing!" I 说 "if 你 want to keep trying to get me pregnant, I'm cool with that because in end if it doesn't work it was a real good excuse to mess around with 你 even 更多 than usual!" The two of us rolled around on the ground laughing and he 说 "you can always manage to cheer me up; no matter what's going on!"

September 15, 2013,

I came downstairs carrying my cell phone in my hand and Kyle asked "why do 你 look so depressed?" I 说 "that was one of the producers of the Nickelodeon 显示 that I'm part of and he just called to tell me that the 显示 is canceled because of bad ratings." Kyle asked "so what happens now?" I 说 "I guess I go back to finishing my 秒 album that was supposed to be released. Then I will probably have to go on tour again; hopefully this time worldwide!" He 说 "well; I'll be here to support 你 with whatever 你 need while you're in the studio 或者 promoting the album when it's released." I 说 "thanks; I don't think we've had so many depressing things happen to us this close together before!" He 说 "the good thing is that it can't get any worse than it already is!"

After talking with Frank on the phone about heading into the studio tomorrow to finish working on the album that I never completed, I sat there in the living room staring off into space. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a police officer was walking up to the front gate. I got off the 长椅, 沙发 and opened the gate from the keypad inside and he knocked on the door to the house. I answered it and he 说 "hello; I've been asked to deliver this mandated court appearance paperwork to your house.” I wrinkled my eyebrows with a puzzled look on my face and shut the door as he walked away.

I opened the 橙子, 橙色 envelope and pulled out an official court document that 说 "petition for custody" across the top. Underneath that, I read" the father stated as Damien Adam Hayes is issuing 你 Alanna Michael Jackson with a petition to the court of Santa Barbara County for partial custody and/or visitation with the child hereby stated as Carter Shawn Jackson. 你 have four months to decide if 你 would like to settle this out-of-court 由 way of mediation 或者 if 你 would like to appeal the above father's ability to adequately care for the child. – Thank 你 for your time, Judge Marion Anderson

I shook my head in disbelief as tears began to well in my eyes. I ran upstairs and shut the bathroom door faster than Kyle could even notice. A few 分钟 later, he heard me sobbing and leaned up against the door. He asked "what's wrong AJ?" I 说 "come in here!" He opened the door and sat down on the closed toilet 座位 as he looked down at me. I curled myself up into a ball and had my head buried in the 最佳, 返回页首 of my needs as I sobbed uncontrollably. Kyle asked "what's going on?" I managed to force out the words "Damien wants to fight me for custody 或者 visitation over Carter!" Kyle 说 "I thought Damien didn't care if he ever saw Carter again!" I 说 "that's the thing; Damien doesn't care about Carter! He's only doing it to spite me because I am a lot better off financially than he is! I think he thinks that if we evenly shared 50-50 custody of Carter then I would have to pay him some sort of child support for the time he would have Carter! I think I really would have to pay child support if he won 50-50 custody of Carter!" Kyle 说 "even though I've never met Damien, I hate him! That's really immature of him to use Carter to get money from you!" I 说 "I don't even care about the money! I care about Carter! I don't want him to get attached to Damien all because Damien will pretend like he cares about him for the first few months and then decide to just not 显示 up one 日 when Carter is waiting for him!" Kyle 说 "I understand why 你 want to protect Carter from being hurt emotionally 由 Damien and I highly doubt with Damien's past he will be awarded any type of custody! I think the most the courts would be willing to give him is supervised visitation! Don't worry AJ; we're going to fight this in court! We can't let Damien get any time alone with Carter because there's no telling what he would do just to get money out of you!!!"