I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.
1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."
2. "Oh, ha ha, 你 got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"
3. "Wow, you're even dumber than 你 look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for 你 now!!" *Prepare yourself 由 getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*
4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did 你 say something?"
5. "Why do 你 have to be so mean?!" *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*
6. "Uh, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!" *take off running*
7. *cackle with laughter* "You sound like a girl ! 嘿 honey, come listen to this guy talk!"
8. "My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!" *put on record and sing along* 'Please - say - please - and - thank 你 for saying thank you!'
9. "Are 你 a joke? Clearly you're a joke!"
10. "I'm sensing some self-confidence problems. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's...and while you're there, maybe 你 could have them do something about your nose."
11. "Oh yeah, and you've told Harry that how many times now? I'm soooooo scared!"
