Men Are Just Happier People
Your last name stays put. The 车库 is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 浓情巧克力 is just another snack. 你 can be President. 你 can never be pregnant. 你 can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 你 can wear NO 衬衫 to a water park. Car mechanics tell 你 the truth.
The world is your urinal. 你 never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 你 don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, 更多 pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional, well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, 或者 mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 秒 flat. 你 know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 你 can open all your own jars. 你 get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he 或者 she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are 更多 than enough. 你 almost never have strap problems in public. 你 are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 你 only have to shave your face and neck.
你 can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. 你 can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 你 can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. 你 have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
你 can do 圣诞节 shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
