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1. Walk up to them and ask them for their autographs.
2. Walk up to them, introduce yourself extremely upbeat and friendly-like and end the conversation 由 saying "It was nice to meet you. It's so cool to talk to people outside of the asylum." Then walk away.
3. While walking down the street, in a mall 或者 any other such place, laugh out loud for no apparent reason. Be as creative with the way 你 laugh as 你 wish.
4. Run up to them, excitedly calling them Father, Mother, Aunt 或者 Uncle. If 你 dare, hug them.
5. While passing a 随意 stranger, stop and exclaim to them, "You have no idea!" in a...
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DEMENTED POEMS

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits

玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter

玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down

玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
link

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┊╱╲╳¯– —≡჻░▒▓ ▤▥▦▧▨▩█ ▌▐▀▄ ◠◡╭╮╯╰ │┤╡╢╖╕╣ ║╝╜╛ ┐ └┴┬├─┼
╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{。^◕‿◕^。} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped 由 terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds 偷了 it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket 偷了 it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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added by MeiMisty
I never thought I would be doing a 列表 like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this 列表 with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please 评论 but be polite. Also, always 评论 because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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added by australia-101
added by 3xZ
added by rileyferguson
added by Bluekait
added by mehparty3
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
added by 123moo123
Source: gifbin.com
Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If 你 consider it a sport to gather your 食物 由 drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all 日 hoping that the 食物 will swim by, 你 might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each 年 because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, 你 might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy 皇后乐队 is closed from November through April, 你 might live in Michigan .

If 你 instinctively walk like a 企鹅 for five months out of the year, 你 might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF 你 DON'T PASS THIS ON 你 DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All 日 long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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In the never-ending "Twilight" battle between Team Edward and Team Jacob, we have the results: The vampire -- and the man who plays him -- claims the buzz. Sure, there's been a lot of tough talk about the 狼 boy -- aka Jacob Black, aka Taylor Lautner -- wooing affections away from his glittering rival. But, as a brooding Bella knows, it takes a lot to shake one's loyalty to Edward Cullen -- aka Robert Pattinson.

Not that there hasn't been a time when many have strayed: Jacob Black (and Lautner himself) wrangled 更多 searches on Yahoo! than Edward Cullen (and Pattinson) for about three weeks...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time 你 turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him 或者 her that you’ve 迷失 your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he 或者 she has anything...
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Well, I opened up my mailbox the other 日 and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer 或者 something sending me some money, but insted, the letter 说 (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. 你 remember that 项链 I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
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1. 你 can do whatever 你 damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. 你 can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. 你 can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. 你 don't having to think about birth control, calendars 或者 ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. 你 can go out and flirt as much as your 心 desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet 座位 issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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