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哈哈

added by carsfan

Source: Internet

XD

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随意

funny

哈哈

Kiras_Follower and SymmaGirl2 like this

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at 你 trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can 吻乐队（Kiss） a guy* a bird can 吻乐队（Kiss） a butterfly* the rising sun can 吻乐队（Kiss） the grass* but 你 my friend!! yes you!! 你 CAN 吻乐队（Kiss） MY ASS*******

If 你 didn't have feet 你 wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do 你 wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for 你 %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

428

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy- Guys point of View

posted by milorox18

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make 你 tear up :)
 Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are 你 remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with 你 when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves 你 more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her 老友记 say i 爱情 her 更多 than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...

52

42 Things that will make your parents go crazy

posted by ilovepenguins

42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary 老友记 that 你 talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...

6

25 Fun things to do in public

posted by Bubblekat

1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar 你 grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something 或者 someone

3. Go up to a 随意 person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki 随意 noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a 喷泉 run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to 你 in public about the...

3

最佳, 返回页首 59 Jewish Ghetto names

posted by fencingrocks

No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If 你 want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...

39

A Funny Text Message !!!

posted by Shelly_McShelly

my friend sent me this text message a while 以前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!

i need to ask 你 somethingand i want 你 to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how 你 feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want 你 to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi 或者 Coke?

Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.

15

随意 things to say when 老友记 are around

posted by Blitzy_Utonium

1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog 食物 is a beautiful thing to watch when 你 are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when 你 sleeeeeep.

13. Bye 说 Santa while eating Blitzen.

10

61 Funny excuses for not doing homework

posted by ilovetech29

just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped 由 terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds 偷了 it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket 偷了 it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...

17

101 things to do in a public bathroom

posted by IsabellaMCullen

I didn't make this, I just found it...

1.Stick your open palm under the stall 墙 and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 秒 and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....

617

50 Fun Things To Do at Walmart

posted by slytherin360

found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 分钟 intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people 你 can get to 加入 in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department 由 sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...

2

随意 people

added by shiriny

6

25 随意 "facts" of life

posted by Hinata-Snow

I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. 你 will never find anybody who can give 你 a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell 你 that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling 你 that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed 由 the federal government is entertainment.
5. 你 should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests 你 think she's pregnant unless 你 can see an...

38

Things Girls Should Say When A Guy Flirts With 你 XD

posted by CourtneyFan17

Man: Where have 你 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen 你 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 座位 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 你 sit down.

Man: Your place 或者 mine?
Woman: Both. 你 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 你 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 嘿 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 你 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

8

Daddy.... It hurts. Please stop.

posted by vlad_todd_fan

This is A TRUE STORY AND IF 你 DON'T PASS THIS ON 你 DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All 日 long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...

8

xXx The Rules Of 爱情 xXx

posted by rAsberrStrarS

吻乐队（Kiss） On The Lips-I 爱情 You
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Ear-You Are Special
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Nose-Laughter
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Cheek-Friendship
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Forehead-I Comfort You
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Neck-I Want You
吻乐队（Kiss） On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
吻乐队（Kiss） Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender 吻乐队（Kiss） On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I 迷失你

6

My 最佳, 返回页首 20 最喜爱的 animated couples

posted by deathchick9

Miku and Kaito

20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there 音乐 videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I 爱情 them 更多 then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.

Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I 爱情 these two they start out hating each other then become close 老友记或者 maybe more...I'd like to think so....

8

问题 a Perverted Boyfriend Might Ask 或者 Do, and What Your Anwsers Can Be If 你 Are Like Me

posted by MidnaTikal8223

1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would 你 mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs 你 and takes a little something off 你 would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are 你 sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If 你 say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all 你 want, not like I care if 你 are 或者 aren't...As long as 你 don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...

5

最喜爱的 Quotes.

posted by Mallory101

Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------

•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him 或者 erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If 你 want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go 前锋, 期待 when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...

Overlaping South America and Africa

added by edwardcarlisle

Source: didyoukno

5

100 Rules Of A Gentleman

posted by NatalieSunshine

1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the 吉他 for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If 你 get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...