哈哈

There used to be a 街, 街道 named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle 你 with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then 你 can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the 啤酒 gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

In a pub 测试 the other 日 I 迷失 由 one point. The 问题 was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other 问题 was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that 苹果 has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing 商店 that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some 轰炸机 jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly 流行的 with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming 更多 common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us 由 our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service 台, 办公桌 and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid 或者 a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so 你 guy will need a babysitter!


*10 分钟 later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 分钟 later*
Amber:I wuv 茶 parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are 你 doing?
Amber:Having a 茶 party!
Ashley:Can I...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President 或者 Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a 年 plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This 鸭 walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the 鸭 leaves.

The 下一个 day, the 鸭 returns and asks, "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the 鸭 leaves.

The 日 after that, the 鸭 walks in the store again and asks "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told 你 no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if 你 come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every 日 at school is the same
2. 你 never know if your braids look digusting 或者 not
3. 你 are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. 你 would like to think that people notice 或者 even think about 你 but 你 are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows 或者 cares about
5. 你 worry people will write nasty 评论 on your 潮流粉丝俱乐部 文章 that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all 你 do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When 你 only really have like 3 老友记 at school and 2 of them...

The 显示 SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The 显示 SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed 由 a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine 分钟 of the 显示 may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob 或者 Caillou, in which 图片 change 更多 slowly, 或者 to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...