随意 Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by Cyrusrocks
My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.


Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!

Dear wife:

I'm 写作 你 this letter to tell 你 that I'm leaving 你 forever. I've been a good man to 你 for 7 years & I have nothing to 显示 for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that 你 quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, 你 came 首页 & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your 最喜爱的 meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. 你 ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. 你 don't...
continue reading...
posted by CatAlicerox14
1. find cereal boxes with prizes in them and open the box and stuff the toys in your pockets and hand bag 或者 what ever 你 can stuff.if caught simply say "these have been recalled as kids are prone to sneezing"
2. Follow the stock person in the vegtables and 水果 aisles and ask every 分钟 "watcha doing?"
3. Ask the stock person as he put one item in "is that ripe? 或者 rotten?"
4.if they have a toy aisle open toys (no matter what age 你 are) and play with them (if squirt gun go to bathroom and fill it up with water and squirt people)
5.go inside the bathroom and sing everytime someone comes in....
continue reading...
你 should never change who 你 are, 或者 what 你 like, 或者 your personality because someone else doesn't like it, 或者 looks down their nose at you... but sometimes it is important to know and to care about what others think of you.

For example... if 你 wear makeup, 或者 buy clothes that make 你 look good; if 你 are polite and 你 smile when someone smiles at you, then 你 care about what they think and this is a good thing.
If everyone 说 that they didn't care what people thought of them, then the world would be in total chaos. Respect comes from caring about other's opinions and what people...
continue reading...
White: Symbolic of purity, innocence and naivete, white has strong connotations of youth and purity. If 你 are an older person, your preference for white could indicate a desire for perfection and impossible ideals, maybe an attempt to recapture 迷失 youth and freshness. It may also symbolize a desire for simplicity 或者 the simple life.

Red: The color of strength, health, and vitality, Red is often the color chosen 由 someone outgoing, aggressive, vigorous and impulsive—or someone who would like to be! It goes with an ambitious nature but those who choose it can be abrupt at times, determined...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
This 文章 is about my terrible cousin May!
WHY SHE IS TERRIBLE.
What she did(s) that is terrible?
Who is she.



Ok first off she poopy on the floor and shes 13!!
Because her .... does it all the time!

She all ways uses people!!~
Because she's a spoiled little brat!

She pushed my little brother down the steps when he was 2!
Because SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM BECAUSE SHE WASNT GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTION!

She gossips about us 24 7!
>:(

Shes a tattel tail!

She dresses like a french h****

I 爱情 her but she pisses me off!
posted by trentgwenfan1
i 爱情 cereal yes i do

i 爱情 cereal how bout you

coco pufe

ceriose

cookie crisp

wasting cerial is a risk

i 爱情 cerial yes i do i 爱情 cerial 你 better to

it is breakfast

most important meal

if 你 can't have crealeal

do not steal

i 爱情 creal yes we do i 爱情 ceral 你 should to

it is healfy

for your brain

for test math and englesh

even frech and science

i 爱情 ccerale yes i do

i 爱情 crealy how about you

me and my firend made this up what are some 随意 songs 你 made up plz commet
posted by karpach_13
Overheard this on a 伦敦 bus:
First Woman: "I don't know what to get 费雷德 for his birthday."
Second Woman: "Why don't 你 get him a book?"
First Woman: (after a moment's thought) "Nah, he's already got a book."
At the 鱼 hatchery where I work, we have a small display that describes the now-extinct Michigan Grayling (a kind of fish). This summer, I had the following conversation with a tourist:

Tourist: "Is the Grayling still extinct?"
Me: "Yes sir, it doesn't exist anymore."
Tourist: "Any thoughts of bringing it back?"
Me: "No, I don't think that's possible."
Tourist: "Why not?"
Me: "Because it's...
continue reading...
posted by Invincible321
I got this idea from Wanda5.

Rules:
- Put your MP3 player/iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
- Post the first line from the first 30 songs that plays, no matter how embarrassing the song.
- Let anyone guess the 答案 (song 标题 and artist) and bold the line when someone guesses correctly.

1. Do 你 ever feel like a plastic bag... Firework-Katy Perry
2. In the night, I hear 'em talk... Heartless-Dia Frampton
3. Baby, be mine 'cause even God knows... Scream-Hedley
4. All this talkin' to you, I don't know what I'm to do... Stop Standing There-Avril Lavigne
5. When 你 walk, 你 don't leave tracks... 吻乐队(Kiss) &...
continue reading...
Man: If I could see 你 naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw 你 naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Haven't I seen 你 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 座位 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 你 sit down.

Man: Your place 或者 mine?
Woman: Both. 你 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 你 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 嘿 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 你 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would 你 stay there?

Man: Why aren't 你 married yet?
Woman: What? And spoil my great sex life?

Man: Why aren't 你 married yet?
Woman:Why aren't 你 thin?

Man: Why aren't 你 married yet?
Woman: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
posted by twilightgirl2
A fwd I got:

The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words
1.cheese=Maria likes me but cheese fat
2.mushroom=wen all my 老友记 get in the car, there isn't mushroom
3.shoulder=my friend didn't know how to make a 塔科, 炸玉米饼 so I shoulder
4.texas=my friend always texas me fwds
5.herpes=me and my friend shared a piza, I got my piece and she got herpes
6.july=ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me! !! Julyer!!!!!
7.rectum=I had two cars, but my wife rectum
8.chicken=I was going to tje store with my wife but chicken go 由 herself
9.wheelchair=we only have one soda but ita ok wheelchair
10.chicken wing=my mom plays the lottery so chicken wing
11.liver=a bully was messing wit my sister and I told him to liver alone
12.bodywash=I wanted to go to the bar but no bodywash my kids
13.budweiser=that woman over there has a nice body, budweiser her face so ugly
posted by musicfanaticXD
1. When 你 get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend 你 are deaf.

4. If he asks if 你 knew how fast 你 were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if 你 can see his gun.

6. When he says 你 aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him 由 his first name.

11. Pretend 你 are gay and ask...
continue reading...
There are many racing games out there and they've been around for many years. Obviously racing game is a too broad spectrum. So, I have narrowed it down to real cars, meaning it has cars like Lamborghini's and mustangs, as well as it has to be a franchise, not a one-off like drive club 或者 the crew. So here it is, my 最佳, 返回页首 five real car racing game franchises.

#5. Asphalt
Asphalt has been for the most part, a phone/tablet game, sure it has a 3ds and a psvita version but they get boring quickly. It a simple and fun arcade racer that is a great way to waste time on the go. However the fact that it...
continue reading...
posted by hetaliaitaly
u say your a body?
without a host?
not one spirit not one ghost?

why do u cry if im unfair?
suck it up my frail friend

im sick of your stupid greed
why are u so scared of me?

i have done nothing wrong?
then whats with your gloomy song?

u say your fine 你 say im dead?

whats without 爱情 u sleepy head?
im just me and your just u
so be happy where noot 分裂, 拆分 in Two

if i was a u and u were a me?
then it would so much 更多 unhappy

my soul is telling me to stay
but then my ghost is saying go away?

its not like my smile would care
because im just u and me and fair

be proud that where not 分裂, 拆分 in two
because i could never live without u
posted by Feathershine
The Crystal Cavern

Sitting silently in the dusk, it was unbearable. My eyes closed, they were clouded with sadness and anger. It rose in me, this was starting to shape depression in my sole.

"how?" I muttered to myself while tears started to stream down my face "why did this happen?"

Snow was starting to fall. I looked up, my eyes shimmering, the snow was falling lightly and quietly upon me and I felt less anger.

 "perfect timing" I muttered coldly. Anger was still imbedded in me, but there was less. I put thrust my hands onto my face. "everything in my life is all... Dramatic"

This life was not...
continue reading...
"My name is Melody Willgrove and I am a werewolf."
"Now I never found myself pretty 或者 anything I am just a normal girl(well as normal as a werewolf girl can be any way).''I am just a normal girl .Though every guy in the pack thinks I am sexy, but I have know idea why .''I mean what so good looking about me I have deep red hair (which has a mind of it own ),I am too skinny (blow away in the wind to skinny ),I am a shorty (5 foot ) ,and I am pale (burn a lot ).''The only two things I like about myself is my grey eyes(their like my dad's ) and my b-cups ,hey if I am going to be skinny I derserve...
continue reading...
posted by Cyrusrocks
Okay, i was almost spammed, so i am warning everyone here, spread this 文章 far and wide. Yesterday, i was on my computer and this thing popped up. It was called Windows Security Suite, and it 说 that 20 virus' were attacking my computer. I called my mom and she 说 to turn off the computer. When she got home, we turned it back on, and apparently 23 virus' were attacking the computer, but, they were doing absolutely nothing to the computer, and Norton Antivirus never poped up and told us about these so-called virus' My sister couldn't figure it out, so we turned the computer off.( and...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
"Here We Go Again"


I throw all of your stuff away
Then I clear 你 out of my head
I tear 你 out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you
But it's just another pretty lie
'Cause I break down
Every time 你 come around
(Uh, Oh Uh, Oh)

So how did 你 get here under my skin
Swore that I'd never let 你 back in
Should've known better
Then trying to let 你 go
'Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about 你 is so addictive
We're fallin' together
你 think that 由 now I'd know
'Cause here we go...
continue reading...
posted by misscrazel
I had this dream and it was like smiegel (from LOTR) and the 皇后乐队 of hearts. Then there was Harry Potter randomly following me. And in my dream the 皇后乐队 of hearts hated smiegel so I was sad. D: and then my 老友记 were there and 彩虹 Dash was there and it was so weird. So then Legolas (he's from LOTR to) walked 由 with some 随意 person. And then there were ten Harry Potters and they all turned evil and chased me. So I ran away and put the 皇后乐队 of hearts and all the Harry Potters in a 船, 小船 and they went away. And then I woke up and I was like what the heck was that.
posted by karpach_14
Clean your face daily. Invest in a scrubbing cleanser, face wash and a nice lotion. Preferably one with aloe. An alternative to this is 可可 Butter; which is an oil free body moisterizer. Because invigorating 实习医生风云 are quite rough (removing dead cells), 你 should only use one once 或者 twice a week, depending on your skin-type. Most face washes are mild, so they're appropiate for everyday use.


2.Apply make-up sparingly. Light 粉, 粉色 blush for a fresh, healthy glow, mildly golden eyeshadow and some chapstick.


3.Get some neon t-shirts from a thrift store. Don't buy a size too big 或者 small. If neon...
continue reading...
posted by ivoryphills
As I write this, I feel deep disgust, sadness, and anger churning in the pit of my stomach. What had set off these emotions is what I saw: a gang rape scene.

It was on a TV show, so I know that it was just acting, but still, to see such a filthy act was so upsetting. I mean there she was, held down against her will as a group of men just attacked her, laughing with contempt as the victim screamed for help (how could filthy 动物 enjoy making an innocent person suffer like that so much?) I felt so disturbed at seeing that because even though it was acting, I still wanted to scream, cry,...
continue reading...