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A quick run-down should 你 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 你 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 你 should YouTube, should 你 get the chance
-“Kevin 培根 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 你 或者 hear 你 WHY WOULD 你 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 你 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 你 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 你 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 你 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 你 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 问题 about either the history of the 首页 或者 the 前一个 tenants, DO NOT 移动 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 电视 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 你 in a closet.
-If 你 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 你 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 谷歌 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 更多 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 你 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 或者 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 你 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 老友记 playing a trick on 你 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 你 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 你 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 你 hear creepy 钢琴 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
A quick run-down should 你 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 你 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 你 should YouTube, should 你 get the chance
-“Kevin 培根 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 你 或者 hear 你 WHY WOULD 你 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 你 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 你 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 你 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 你 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 你 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 问题 about either the history of the 首页 或者 the 前一个 tenants, DO NOT 移动 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 电视 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 你 in a closet.
-If 你 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 你 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 谷歌 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 更多 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 你 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 或者 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 你 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 老友记 playing a trick on 你 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 你 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 你 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 你 hear creepy 钢琴 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying 随意 things until u cry laughing
5. continue 阅读 this
6. Walk up to siblings and say 随意 things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on 脸谱 and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on 谷歌 look up 松鸦, 杰伊, 杰伊 · leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add 随意 people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying 随意 things until u cry laughing
5. continue 阅读 this
6. Walk up to siblings and say 随意 things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on 脸谱 and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on 谷歌 look up 松鸦, 杰伊, 杰伊 · leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add 随意 people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely 随意 things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as 你 can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as 你 can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend 你 try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as 你 can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as 你 can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend 你 try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The 最佳, 返回页首 six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as 你 have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command 或者 File Name" is about as informative as
"If 你 don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as 你 make a commitment to one, 你 find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as 你 have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command 或者 File Name" is about as informative as
"If 你 don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as 你 make a commitment to one, 你 find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around 你 has an attitude problem
2.your adding 浓情巧克力 chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything 你 say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive 你 crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and 你 just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to 冲床 someone without a reason
12.if 你 start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if 你 were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give 你 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so 你 know*
2.your adding 浓情巧克力 chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything 你 say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive 你 crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and 你 just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to 冲床 someone without a reason
12.if 你 start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if 你 were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give 你 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so 你 know*
If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be 给 LIFE in prison without the possibility 或者 parole.
A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet 蟒蛇, python refused to eat it was 给 three years of supervised probation on Friday.
Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.
The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD 展示 Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the 蟒蛇, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.
When the 蟒蛇, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet 蟒蛇, python refused to eat it was 给 three years of supervised probation on Friday.
Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.
The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD 展示 Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the 蟒蛇, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.
When the 蟒蛇, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf 或者 date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the 下一个 time.....thank u all for 阅读 this..and plz 评论 ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
Like the 标题 says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My 老友记 说 that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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