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A quick run-down should 你 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 你 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 你 should YouTube, should 你 get the chance
-“Kevin 培根 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 你 或者 hear 你 WHY WOULD 你 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 你 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 你 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 你 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 你 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 你 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 问题 about either the history of the 首页 或者 the 前一个 tenants, DO NOT 移动 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 电视 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 你 in a closet.
-If 你 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 你 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 谷歌 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 更多 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 你 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 或者 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 你 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 老友记 playing a trick on 你 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 你 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 你 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 你 hear creepy 钢琴 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
A quick run-down should 你 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 你 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 你 should YouTube, should 你 get the chance
-“Kevin 培根 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 你 或者 hear 你 WHY WOULD 你 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 你 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 你 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 你 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 你 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 你 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 问题 about either the history of the 首页 或者 the 前一个 tenants, DO NOT 移动 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 电视 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 你 in a closet.
-If 你 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 你 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 谷歌 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 更多 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 你 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 或者 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 你 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 老友记 playing a trick on 你 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 你 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 你 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 你 hear creepy 钢琴 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
1.You abuse our 爱情 你 lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we 爱情 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 爱情 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 爱情 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 或者 form.
6.Guys 你 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 你 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 爱情 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 你 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
2.When we find the right guy we 爱情 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 爱情 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 爱情 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 或者 form.
6.Guys 你 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 你 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 爱情 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 你 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just 阅读 some of the 《终结者》 语录 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 凯莎 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 你 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 芭比娃娃 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 首页 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 答案 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 凯莎 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 你 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 芭比娃娃 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 首页 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 答案 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him