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A quick run-down should 你 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 你 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 你 should YouTube, should 你 get the chance
-“Kevin 培根 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 你 或者 hear 你 WHY WOULD 你 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 你 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 你 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 你 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 你 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 你 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 问题 about either the history of the 首页 或者 the 前一个 tenants, DO NOT 移动 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 电视 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 你 in a closet.
-If 你 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 你 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 谷歌 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 更多 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 你 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 或者 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 你 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 老友记 playing a trick on 你 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 你 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 你 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 你 hear creepy 钢琴 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
posted by MJlover101
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W 衬套, 布什 has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, 或者 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th 日 of the year....
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Note:I wrote that only for fun! i don't even believe if the world is going to end in 2012 cause God only knows when! so don't put stupid 评论 please!


-How to Survive:

1-Make sure that you've got a back pack full of 食物 and drink

2-Build a room under the ground make sure,that it's ready to use.

3-Sell your Home

4-If your mum 或者 dad is a Doctor ask him/her to teach 你 some stuff about nursing

5-go to the room 你 built under the ground and put some 食物 and drinks there!

6-When the 日 comes! go to the room 你 built under the ground at 4:00 am before the sun comes!


How to get Ready:(2 Days before...
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posted by animefreak21
do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a 随意 person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the 最佳, 返回页首 of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow 随意 people all over the store 或者 where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a 随意 person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender 或者 if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of 你 have heard Born This Way 由 Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I 爱情 everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being 你 are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need 食物 when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do 你 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take 你 out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call 你 sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give 你 a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why 你 are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 你 going through now?

"I 爱情 you, too." = Okay, I 说 it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized 由 irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing 或者 two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our 爱情 你 lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we 爱情 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 爱情 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 爱情 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 或者 form.
6.Guys 你 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 你 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 爱情 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 你 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just 阅读 some of the 《终结者》 语录 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! 你 can think what ever 你 can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people 爱情 batman, I go for Superman. 蝙蝠侠 dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One 日 he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my 下一个 hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that 你 can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at 你 a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments 你 a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if 你 are single.

06. He asks 你 out for lunch.

07. He asks 你 out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats 你 like a lady.

12. He walks 你 to your door.

13. He wants to see 你 often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells 你 he likes you.

16. His 老友记 know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He 说 he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I 说 "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give 你 the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over 由 a cop and he 或者 she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, 你 have been caught speeding, how much do 你 think 你 were going?" Don't say, "Well 你 must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when 你 haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron 或者 born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period 或者 PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have 你 been putting on a little weight?" It's a 婊子, 子 slap waiting to happen.

7....
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hi, i'm kairi. i felt bored and just decided to give up my acquired knowledge for those of 你 who need a little help with being 更多 流行的 on fanpop/ are bored and just feel like 阅读 something.

1. consider something someone might want to take part in. some of the most 流行的 答案 have to do with games 或者 something of the sort. this is because they sound interesting to a fan, so they'll click it.

2. ask the 粉丝 about themself. people like talking about themselves and sharing interesting stories, it's human nature.

3. think about what you're asking. think about the subject's popularity....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I 偷了 a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag 你 down and beat 你 with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make 你 Christian even 更多 then standing in a 车库 makes 你 a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the 列表 though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at 首页 even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been 发布 before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the 蝙蝠侠 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 老友记 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 你 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 由 hooking a 摄录一体机, 摄像机 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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Intro :

yea mmhm i know these have been 发布 alot but i am both insane and depressed and i can help depending on your personality 或者 sumthin like tht. But anyways, just read on. I hope 你 like!!! This was written 由 me! Not taken off anyone else. Thanks for your time 阅读 my into ;) ~~ XxemolovexX (prefer not to say my real name)

How to cure boredom :


If you're an artist :
Draw! drawing will always help 你 feel better. And who knows, over time 你 might be able to draw amazingly.

If you're an 作者 :
Free write! Its always fun to. Write something according to your taste in books.

If 你 love...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids 由 their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and 吉尔 in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. 吉尔 simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by rayban00
This link is made of very simple,The lens is dark yellow, the color is predominant. And retro-style frame has a bright spot in the whole spectacle. General wear this retro style link, 更多 或者 less a link with the United States. If 你 look carefully, there is a small screw, so rayban sunglasses 更多 firmly. 射线, 雷 Ban prices affordable, cheap.

It seems that Hollywood stars are always so charming?, They not only well dressed but never appear without makeup 或者 sweat the makeup to stains.All dressed themseves perfect even without the light.

Cheap rayban Sunglasses are their common decration,because...
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posted by TVD_rocks
from the internet :)

(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 凯莎 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 你 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 芭比娃娃 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 首页 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 答案 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
posted by TeamSongz4eva
**again i got this from the internet**


These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the 来源 of much amusement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If 你 are a burglar, then we're probably at 首页 cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's 安全 to leave us a message."...
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