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Can 你 guys read my story and tell me if 你 like it, what to change and all that stuff, please?

Chapter 1
Boredom

Thantos was sitting on his bed, continuously throwing and catching his blue foam ball, with his headphones in his ears and 音乐 playing too loud and combing his medium length black hair out of his bright abnormally coloured eyes.
“This is so pointless. I need something better to do,” he said, scratching his extremely pale skin.
Thantos paused his IPod to hear a scream and girls laughing.
“What the- what was that about?” He asked himself, getting up from his 床, 床上 and walking to his door.
“I’ll never know if I don’t go check it out,” he smiled.
Thantos walked down his stairs and toward his door and covered his ears as the girls screamed again.
He opened his front door to see a beautiful girl in a solid black bikini and another girl in a purple and 粉, 粉色 strapless one piece.
“What’s all the screaming about?” Thantos yelled at them, laughing.
The girls screamed, looked at Thantos, then started laughing at there foolishness.
“First tell us who 你 are, then we’ll tell 你 why we were screaming,” laughed the girl in the one-piece.
“I’ll tell 你 who I am after 你 tell me who 你 are,” Thantos smirked at them.
The two girls looked at each other and smiled.
Both girls held out there left arm, palms flat facing him. Out of nowhere, water came shooting at Thantos, hitting him painfully hard.
“What was that for?” Thantos yelled, clenching his fists, angrily. “And how the hell did 你 do that?”
“Because we could. Isn’t that a total ‘duh’ factor?” The girl in the bikini asked.
“And how we did it is none of your damn business.” The other girl scolded.
“Just tell me who 你 are,” Thantos said, attempting to breathe calmly and not 显示 his anger, but failing, miserably.
“My name is of no concern right now but… I might be willing to tell 你 if 你 tell me yours. We’ll tell 你 why we were screaming and both of our na
 Castalinia posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

XxKeithHarkinxX said:
nice! now read mine!


He ran his fingers through her long golden hair while staring into her hazel eyes
“You have beautiful eyes,” he 说 softly, his accent still managed to slip through his softly spoken words.
“Thank you,” Taylor 说 with a smile of pure delight.
“But I really should get going,” She 说 gently pulling Keith’s hand out of her hair.
This was not because she didn’t 爱情 Keith; in fact Taylor loved him with all her heart. It was just everything happened so suddenly. It all started last week in New York City, Keith being a musician had booked a 演出, gig at Red Stallion Pub, and Taylor being a 粉丝 of his, bought a ticket for the show. Everything was going normally, Keith Played a few tunes, how it managed to last 3 hours is beyond me. After the 显示 everyone left talking among themselves about the performance. There was only one person that didn’t leave with the crowd, besides the bartenders of course, Taylor stayed to tell Keith that he was an amazing musician and that she had never heard such beautiful noise in her life. Keith was all done packing his 吉他 up and about ready to leave when he noticed someone still standing there.
“ And why might 你 still be here?” his accent wasn’t as thick she thought it would be,
“I-I just wanted to tell 你 something,” Taylor 说 shyly.
“What might that be? Is it that you’re my biggest 粉丝 and 你 want me to marry you?” Keith 说 with a slight chuckle.
“Oh, nothing like that sir!”
“Please, call me Keith,” he 说 as he carefully put his 吉他 case down
“I’m too young to be a sir!” he 说 with a laugh
“So what did 你 want to want to tell me?”
“That 你 are the most amazing guitarist and singer I’ve ever heard!” She 说 slowly letting go of her shyness.
“Why thank you! I must say it’s a lot nicer to hear that then it is to hear all that sappy, lovie, 粉丝 stuff. 你 kind of get sick of it after 4 years!”

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posted 一年多以前 
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i like it but, what's with your obsession with Keith?
Castalinia posted 一年多以前
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.... ARE 你 QUESTIONING ME!?
XxKeithHarkinxX posted 一年多以前
Shadowmarioking said:
Eh. I don't understand why the girls have to be in bikinis...and the story isn't one that's THAT attention grabbing.
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posted 一年多以前 
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it will be when there's 更多 up. it get's a lot 更多 interesting as it goes on.
Castalinia posted 一年多以前
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thanks for your opinion though. it is much appreaciated. i will try to improve it.
Castalinia posted 一年多以前
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okay. i'll try to do that.
Castalinia posted 一年多以前
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