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This is retelling a South Park episode. Almost word to word. But I change some characters.. And some dialogue, particalary Saten's dialogue change from Stan's..

This episode is just me trying to see how much dark content I could get away with..






Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main 街, 街道 was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours 或者 more, Because 圣诞节 needs to be bought in a store.
But out in the forest, not too far away...

Nearby forest. Cute forest 动物 gather round and decorate a small pine tree.

Narrator: The little woodland critters were also preparing for their 圣诞节 Day.

Woodland Critters (singing): It's almost time when the time is here, The time that's only once a year. We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near. A Woodland Critter Christmas!

Narrator: The little critters worked hard as they happily sang, And each one of them had a quite interesting name. There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit, Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear. Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk, Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer. Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse, and Chickadee-y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.

(wow, real orginal XD)

Narrator: And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that, was our 最喜爱的 red pony.

Saten (drinks light beer, already had 4 before it, crossing forest to get to Trixie's new house in ponyville): Still better than I use to drink... (sees them) What the hell?

Rabbity: Well, hello there. Welcome to our forest.

Skunky: How do 你 like our 圣诞节 tree?

Saten: I.. I really don't care.

Beavery: Why, it's the most perfect 树 in the forest! [the other cheer]

Saten (annoyed): I don't have time for thi-

Mousey: Oh no, I see a problem.

Deery: What is it, Mousey?

Mousey: Our 圣诞节 树 doesn't have a star.

Critters: Awww.

Beary: We can't have a 树 with no 星, 星级 on it.

Saten (annoyed): Can't I ever just 交叉, 十字架 the forest in peace.

Rabbity: What are we gonna do?

Squirrely: Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.

Critters [among other things]: Can 你 really? Oh would 你 please? Could 你 help us?

Saten: Fine I'll get your stupid 星, 星级 if it means 你 leaving me alone.

Critters: [cheering] Yay!





Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a 星, 星级 for the tree. Smiling the whole time.

Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?

Critters: Ohhhh!

Beary: It's the nicest 星, 星级 I ever saw.

Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery 说 with a smile...

Beavery (smiling): How would 你 like to sing and dance with us for a while?

Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...

Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]

Beavery: Goo- goodbye Twisty!

Critters: Goodbye, Saten! Bye! Cya!

Saten (to himself) (annoyed): Uhhh.




Saten finally arrives at Trixe's house.

Trixie: What took you?

Saten: I'll tell 你 later.. 餐车, 晚餐, 小餐馆 ready?

Trixie: Sure..
Royal Guard:Princess Celestia,we got a huge drunk dragon,that was staying at the stairs of the castle.
Celestia:Let him in.
Spike:*enters*Hello,you lame princess.I am here to make 你 smile.
Celestia:Well,you arent!Wait,you're..Spike.
Spike:Yes,your shitesty!
Celestia:What a language!Twilight!
Twilight:Yes,princess?
Celestia:Is Spike,drunk?
Twilight:Spike,shouldn't 你 be 首页 right now with Harmony and Rarity?
Spike:Oh,yeah.That Rarity is a little bit....um,what is that word..Oh yeah,BORING!I stayed there just because of Harmony.She is the only one who loves me!You don't care about me.Neither of you!Just...
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FLASHBACK:

Filly Glaze (her and Trixie are his ONLY friend of the time): I'm sorry about your mom putting 你 into adoption and all.

Filly Saten: Ahh, can't say I'm too serprised.. But at least I met my first cousin Derpy for the first time.

Filly Glaze: Oh yes, Derpy.. I owe her money actually.. (goes to bank, but it's closed) NO! NO! ARE 你 KIDDING ME!?

Filly Saten: It's okay, we can just check back tomorrow.

Filly Glaze: ... (sighs) Guess your right.

Filly Saten starts heading back, but from behind him Glaze pick up a trash can and breaks the bank window, triggering the alarm, shocking Saten....
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
---
Dan - Situation.
Watermark - Enemies coming close to Canterlot, code RED I repeat code RED.
Celestia - ...
Twilight - ...
Dan - Copy that. Anything new on Chechenkov?
CIA - Negative.
MI5 - We may have something.
Dan - Listening.
MI5 - Some stalion called Al'Hakuim - leader of militia in Somalia. But we need someone who knows the place well.
Dan - I know a man. Well an Mare. She were undercover in Somalia. He name is Jade. One of my old squadron member.
- - - - -
15th May
Hour 1205
Location : Somalia - Africa.
Operation Codename : "Guerrilla Warfare"

Militia - On the ground scum!
Hardscope - *gets on ground*...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - *crush inside FBI HQ with Truck*
FBI - Alarm!
Damien - *shoots him in the head* Oh shut up.
Jimmy - Woo! I like it.
Joel - Wich way.
Jimmy - Terminals... 3rd floor.
Damien - *shoot the way inside terminal room*
Jimmy - *plug his laptop* Gimme bout two 分钟 mate.
Damien - Sure. *shoot 更多 FBI*
Joel - They won't do anything funny.
Damien - Ohhhh I forgot how good if feels.
Jimmy - OK shit. It's Terminal A-3 that is in main office of leader of this section. OK Joel go get him.
Joel - *burst doors open and shoot the Boss*
Boss - Please d-dont..
Joel - *looks at picture of Boss with family* I get too...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
斯莱什 - *enters house* ... Silent... Heh...

Ace - *comes to office* Oh boss.
Boss - 嘿 there Ace.
Ace - H-hi.
Boss - Hm? Something's on your mind... Say it.
Ace - Well it's about... 斯莱什 life.


Episode 2
The 狐狸 Killer



Boss - I guess. I will tell you...

5 Years Ago.

Slash - I'm back!
Greenleaf - Hi there bro!

-It was 3 years after they moved away from their abusive parents. 斯莱什 was ace detective for 1 年 then-

Slash - Oh? 你 got better at cooking.
Greenleaf - I watched some TV.
Slash - Hmm.. *pats her on head* Good girl.

-He used to smile alot back in the days until.-

Nightwalker - Yo. *drops files*
Slash...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 12 is beginning

Rainbow Dash: & Twilight: *Back outside with Applejack, and Pinkie Pie*

Fog started to rise.

Rainbow Dash: *Coughing* Where are all the zombies?
Sweetie Belle: Fetch me their souls.
Twilight: I think that 答案 our question.
Pinkie Pie: Nein!! Not the puppies!!!
Hell Hound: *Running towards the ponies*
Rainbow Dash: *Shoots it four times with her HK21*
Elvis Presley: *Singing in the background* 你 ain't nothin' but a Hell Hound, just cryin' all the time.
Ponies: Not now!!
Elvis Presley: *Leaves*

They got distracted with Elvis, and the 下一个 Hell Hound to come took down Twilight...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
----
Shadowknight - So... How did 你 know.
Doctor - Among greatest magicians and healers we are...
Shadowknight - Don't tell me it's because you're connected to underground. Truth.
Doctor - Truth to be told. I saved 你 after 你 got yourself beaten up. That's why armor was in my hoofs.
Shadowknight - Hm... That's all?
Doctor - I didn't called 你 for that. It's about one of princesses.
Shadowknight - What is it.
Doctor - Pearl... She is... Having a terrible sickness.
Shadowknight - What...
Doctor - Her mental state, seeing her mother get killed made it even worse and we need medicine right away.
Shadowknight...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
----
4 days later
----
Damien - *watches TV*
Joel - *eating sandwich*
Twilight - *sleeping cuffed*
Damien - Uh I'm bored...
...
...
FI - Good news boys I found 你 a gent and mare to 加入 你 up. Steven and Nicole are outside let them in

+--+

Nicole - I'm Nicole... Im doing this for living.
Steven - I'm Steven, have mafia debt like you.
FI - Now to do something with this princess. We won't kill her and I can't put her on black market - too shady we gonna get denied 或者 set up. Hmmm... I have idea. Drive to Old Ponyville. 你 will meet up with Hispanic pony. He will buy her off - no set up I will contact...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It was 10 PM. Didont entered Gran Turismo with Flamethrower in a black Jaguar.


Didont: Where does it tell us to go now?
Flamethrower: We keep going straight until we get to the intersection.
Didont: Perfect. This road intersects with Malpaso Avenue. We're in the right spot now.

They didn't notice that they were speeding. Their car was at 45, but the speed was 35.

Tim: We got a speeder.

Song: link

Julia: *Drives onto the road from a gas station, and follows the Jaguar*
Tim: GT24, we have a black Jaguar northbound on Main Street. We're going to pull him over for speeding. License plate...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Larry, and Adrenaline stopped at the Don's house.

Larry: *Knocks three times*
Don Castalini: *Opens the door* What's up?
Larry: We need to talk.
Don Castalini: Okay. Come in.
Larry: *Walks into the house with Adrenaline*
Don Castalini: Rudolph, we have guests!
Rudolph: *In the kitchen* The hors d'oeuvres are set. I'll bring them to 你 in the living room.
Don Castalini: Thanks Rudolph.

In the living room

Don Castalini: So what is it?
Rudolph: *Brings in chips with salsa, and a bottle of champagne from 1933*
Adrenaline: Oh, this looks pretty fancy.
Don Castalini: I know. What do 你 want to talk...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Ponies: *Driving their cars on the freeway*

Episode 5: The Drifter

Special Guest Stars

Applejack as Julie Gunner
Barry Baricza as Frank
Amtrak as Gordon Fell

Julia: *Driving between a Buick, and a Porsche*

And introducing a new OC, Reggie

A 小马 in a black suit was riding a Kawasaki motorcycle as fast as he could.

Old Stallion: *Honks his horn twice as the 小马 passes him* Damn kids on those two wheel death traps. He's going to get himself killed.
Black Suit Pony: *Does a wheelie, and goes on a car. He goes airborne, and lands on a Nissan Skyline police car*
Police 小马 77: *Talks on the...
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At a Freedom Fighter base.

Freedom Fighters: *Working on computers, and organizing paperwork*
Sally Acorn: *Inspecting the base*
Freedom Fighter: *Walks over to her* Princess Sally, I regret to inform 你 that Eggman keeps attacking more, and 更多 of our bases.
Sally Acorn: We're not making much progress.
Freedom Fighter: And I have 更多 bad news. Sonic is still prisoner on Eggman's Super Ridiculously Big Yacht.
Sally Acorn: We must save him immediately.
Freedom Fighter 72: General, Doctor Eggman has appeared on my screen.
Freedom Fighter 55: He's on mine too!
Freedom Fighter: *Looks around*...
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 George Tildon, will appear in a later part of this story
George Tildon, will appear in a later part of this story
Sean met up with 彩虹 Dash at the 城堡 in Canterlot with Master Sword, and Wind.

Rainbow Dash: Eggman's soldiers just tried to kill Sean. He might send another squad in here to kill one of us next.
Master Sword: Well if that's the case, we need to stop them.
Wind: They're all in Mobius. How do we get there?
Sean: 由 teleporting.
Wind: Yes, I know that, but we don't have anything to teleport us there.
Sean: That is where you're wrong. *Grabs his chaos emerald* This little green thing is called a chaos emerald. It is capable of stopping time, if the user knows how to use it correctly. I only...
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Spike: [sighs] 你 know the worst thing about 你 being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to 你 for 建议 about friendship?
Twilight: What's funny about that?
Spike: 你 know, 'cause 你 used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight: What are 你 talking about? I had good 老友记 in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any 照片 from before we moved to Ponyville? And look...
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Saten: Well, I should get goin-
Twi: Saten, wait.. 你 know how we put 你 as part of our group now?
Saten: What about it?
Pinkie: We need 你 your help., Something's coming.
Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?

------------------------------------------------------------

Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?
Apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem 或者 a monster attack.
Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Video Game Troll

Starring Sean the hedgehog as Fox335
Mortomis as Kadillack
Other players in this match are real players, and are not portrayed 由 any actors.

Today's game: Grand Theft Auto 5

Fox335: *Driving a Red Coquette through Blaine County*
Kadillack: 你 know? This is the only good Grand Theft Auto game. Every other game has either bad graphics, 或者 terrible gameplay. Usually, it's both.
klk321: Yo, you're insulting the best video game franchise ever.
Fox335: No, the best game franchise ever is Gran Turismo. 你 don't have to murder others just to win a race.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*...
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Meanwhile.
Ditto and his group continued searching for Big Mac.
At one point he ran into Tom Foolery.
Tom: Hey. Hey. It's the famish guy.
Ditto: Yeah.. I guess it is.
Tom: Aren't 你 the chief of police.
Ditto: Uh huh.
Tom: What brings 你 here?.. All out of 甜甜圈 in Canterlot.
Audience: *laughs*
Ditto: ............ What the hell was that!?
Tom: Sorry. I can't get rid of them.
Ditto: Ahh.. Celestia was complain about the same thing yesterday., she ordered me to scare them off., It took less effect then 你 might think it would.
Audience: (laughs)
Tom: Anyway. What do 你 want.. Sir?
Ditto: Well.... I'm...
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