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This is retelling a South Park episode. Almost word to word. But I change some characters.. And some dialogue, particalary Saten's dialogue change from Stan's..

This episode is just me trying to see how much dark content I could get away with..






Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main 街, 街道 was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours 或者 more, Because 圣诞节 needs to be bought in a store.
But out in the forest, not too far away...

Nearby forest. Cute forest 动物 gather round and decorate a small pine tree.

Narrator: The little woodland critters were also preparing for their 圣诞节 Day.

Woodland Critters (singing): It's almost time when the time is here, The time that's only once a year. We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near. A Woodland Critter Christmas!

Narrator: The little critters worked hard as they happily sang, And each one of them had a quite interesting name. There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit, Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear. Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk, Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer. Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse, and Chickadee-y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.

(wow, real orginal XD)

Narrator: And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that, was our 最喜爱的 red pony.

Saten (drinks light beer, already had 4 before it, crossing forest to get to Trixie's new house in ponyville): Still better than I use to drink... (sees them) What the hell?

Rabbity: Well, hello there. Welcome to our forest.

Skunky: How do 你 like our 圣诞节 tree?

Saten: I.. I really don't care.

Beavery: Why, it's the most perfect 树 in the forest! [the other cheer]

Saten (annoyed): I don't have time for thi-

Mousey: Oh no, I see a problem.

Deery: What is it, Mousey?

Mousey: Our 圣诞节 树 doesn't have a star.

Critters: Awww.

Beary: We can't have a 树 with no 星, 星级 on it.

Saten (annoyed): Can't I ever just 交叉, 十字架 the forest in peace.

Rabbity: What are we gonna do?

Squirrely: Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.

Critters [among other things]: Can 你 really? Oh would 你 please? Could 你 help us?

Saten: Fine I'll get your stupid 星, 星级 if it means 你 leaving me alone.

Critters: [cheering] Yay!





Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a 星, 星级 for the tree. Smiling the whole time.

Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?

Critters: Ohhhh!

Beary: It's the nicest 星, 星级 I ever saw.

Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery 说 with a smile...

Beavery (smiling): How would 你 like to sing and dance with us for a while?

Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...

Stan [doesn't smile] Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. [turns around, and walks off]

Beavery: Goo- goodbye Twisty!

Critters: Goodbye, Saten! Bye! Cya!

Saten (to himself) (annoyed): Uhhh.




Saten finally arrives at Trixe's house.

Trixie: What took you?

Saten: I'll tell 你 later.. 餐车, 晚餐, 小餐馆 ready?

Trixie: Sure..
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Theme Song Lyrics~

My Little Pony, My Little Pony
Ahh, Ahh, Ahh, Ahh..

My Little Pony
I used to wonder what friendship could be
My Little Pony
Until 你 all shared it's magic with me

Big adventure
Tons of fun!
A beautiful heart
Faithful and strong
Sharing kindness
It's an easy feat
And magic makes it all complete!

你 have My Little Ponies
Do 你 know you're all my very best friends?

Ponies who sang in this song:

Pinkie Pie
Fluttershy
Twilight Sparkle
彩虹 Dash
Rarity
Applejack
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, 谷歌 图片
added by karinabrony
added by LavenderLily
Source: To their rightful owners
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners... NOT ME
posted by Canada24
Two weeks after we last left off.

Today was the day, Ditto was suppose to come.

"I still can't believe we have to do this" Dash groaned, her nose still bandaged and she hovered over them.

"Hey, it's not our call, it's Celestia's" Twilight told the young Pegasus.

"Fine" Dash groaned.

"Lets just hope he dosen't try anything" She added.

Everyone agreed.

Eventually Celestia flew down in her carriage, carrying Ditto in it as well.

"Ahh, there 你 are" Twilight said.

Celestia noded and got out of the carriage, and took Ditto out of it also, who looked not at all pleased about being here.

Twilight and the others...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con, and Ms. Bonjour were on 最佳, 返回页首 of the train while Fenix was in his car calling the police.

Fenix: That's right. They're on 最佳, 返回页首 of a train, and one of them is an agent of the C.I.E. Please, you've got to help him.
Police: Ok, we'll send some units to try, and stop whoever is killing your friend.

On the train.

Ms. Bonjour: *kicks Con*
Con: *Nearly falls off*
Ms. Bonjour: Au Revoir Mr. Mane.
Con: *Climbs back on*
Ms. Bonjour: Grrr. *Hits Con*
Con: *Punches Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: *lays on roof*
Con: *Kicks Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: Signal!
Con: *gets hit 由 signal*
Ms. Bonjour: Hahahaha!
Con: *Falls...
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Welcome back, everypony. The last we saw our heroes, they were receiving recognition from the four princesses of Equestria. We then turned to deep within the Everfree Forest, where King Sombra lay dormant. Red Rose, who aided in the killing of King Cobra, brought the news to her fallen fiancee. 皇后乐队 Chrysalis has allied with King Sombra, and we 加入 them making their way through the forest.

King Sombra: How many do 你 have in your army, Chrysalis?

Queen Chrysalis: (cackling) Thousands, not including the ones currently hidden within Canterlot and the Chrystal Empire.

King Sombra: Excellent! How...
continue reading...
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Dan : but... but... but... JADE!
Jade : hell yea...
Shadow : wait a second... but... 你 was in Africa
Jade : I heard that guys kicking your 屁股 soo...
Shadow : oh well...
Dan : but... how... where... WHAAAT!
Jade : no time to lose lets GO!
Yes its her, best double agent in the world, If she wants to kick our corp. asses... she gonna DO IT... but she with us now...
Dan : 你 right!
Everypony start running to the small hallway and they jump into truck
Jade : GO GO GO!
Driver : *move truck*
The truck goes to the city then to the black alley
Dan : Jade... where w-
Jade : *put gun to Dan Head* shut up! now...
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My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Friendship is magic!
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until 你 all shared it's magic with me!
When I was young I was too busy to make any friends, some silliness did not seem worth the effort it expands,
but my little ponies. 你 opened up my eyes,
and now the truth's crystal clear, as splendid as summer skies,
and it's such a wonderful surprise,
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until 你 all shared it's magic with me!
When danger...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen 由 Braeburn
Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen by Braeburn
Braeburn was out of the tournament, and was very angry.

Sergi: *parks car*
Braeburn: *walks toward Sergi's car*
Apyr: We got company
Braeburn: *carrying baseball bat*
Sergi: Well, we're outta here *floors it*
Braeburn: Oh no 你 don't!! *runs to car* Give me your car!!
Sunset Shimmer: No, get lost!
Braeburn: *hits Sunset Shimmer with bat*
Sunset Shimmer: *Knocked Out*
Braeburn: *steals car*

Sergi was driving toward the highway out of Canterlot

Braeburn: *gets behind Sergi*
Apyr: Are 你 kidding me?
Sergi: What's the matter?
Apyr: Braeburn is following us!
Braeburn: GET BACK HERE!!
Police: *sees car chase*...
continue reading...
posted by NeonInfernoLord
Funny how a town filled with so much joy could befall to such a deadly game…

It was total darkness in…wherever she was. Her eyes adjusted somewhat to it but as far as she knew she was in a hole. She tried to 移动 but she realized her entire lower body was encased inside of something. It was so snug until the point that she couldn't even feel her lower body.

"H-hello!? Rarity!? Scootaloo!?" Sweetie Belle screamed out but couldn't make anything out in the vacant abyss. She let out little whimpers as another voice rang from her side.

"S-sweetie Belle, I'm right here!" The voice of Scootaloo rang...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh 你 from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this 小马
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are 你 doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did 你 do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: 你 sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony:...
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Hello. I have been hearing from a lot of bronies that Princess Celestia is a troll. There are a lot of reasons to mark that, so I will 显示 你 them.

Reason one: In The Ticket Master, she gave Twilight Sparkle only two tickets when she already knew that she has 5 friends. Twilight Sparkle was stressing out for nothing in the end.

Reason two: When Twilight Sparkle was talking to Princess Celestia about when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia tried to change the subject, saying, ''Go make some friends!''. This redirected her attention.

Reason three: In the episode Bird In A Hoof, Mrs. Cake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.

Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: 你 see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do 你 think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, 你 there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a 报道 of a 小马 trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria...
continue reading...