Hey, I need honest opinion on how I write and where I need to improve, this is a part of one of the stories I've written. Thanks to anyone who can help. =)


Fallenfeather wove through a dark, leafy forest, sunlight just barely filtered through. He walked confidently through the spiralling trees, all of his sense trained to catch the deer in the clearing ahead. As the 浓情巧克力 brown 狼 neared his goal, he sunk lower and stared with bright cerulean eyes at the swift-footed dear ahead of him. His muscles tensed as he prepared to leap after the small deer when suddenly a silver shape charged past him. The deer turned it’s head in time to see a small silver 狼 flying towards it, it’s eyes widened in fear then it broke into a run. Fallenfeather snarled in annoyance and followed the silver wolf. The offender gave one last push off the ground, stretched her paws out- and missed; the deer hared away as the 狼 tumbled to the ground. Fallenfeather finally caught up to the surprised she wolf,
    “What do 你 think your doing? That was my kill, Breezewhisper!” Fallenfeather snapped. Breezewhisper turned 金牌 eyes on him and frowned
    “I was obviously going for that deer! 你 were in my way!” Breezewhisper growled irritably, “Besides, everyone knows 你 couldn’t catch a rabbit if the whole Clan depended on it!” she added the last part sardonically, hoping to goad him into a fight. Fallenfeather narrowed his eyes,
    “The whole Clan does depend on it! 你 should know better than to just go galumphing after a deer!” Breezewhisper ignored him and instead rose clumsily to her paws and shook out her coat.
    “I’ll tell mother about this! I’ll tell her about how 你 distracted me from making a great catch for FrostClan!” she teased, flicking her fluffy tail in Fallenfeather’s face as she walked past. Fallenfeather watched as she disappeared into the trees, he curled his lip in anger, Breezewhisper could be so obnoxious!
    Fallenfeather grumbled silently to himself and began to follow Breezewhisper’s trail. His brown 毛皮 lightly brushed against the foliage as he picked up his pace until the 草 began to thin out and open out onto rock. Ahead, a small cliff rose jaggedly, a large 巢穴, den, 书房 was in the middle of it. From the cliff streamed edges and outcrops with small dens that seemed to be scooped out with a giant paw underneath. This was what his Clan referred to as ‘the hollow’, his Clan was a clan that moved within it’s own territory, taking shelter in the southern section of their territory; where there were countless trees, in the fury of winter.
    Stealthily slipping through the long grassy area in the blossoming spring. But no matter where they went the Clan always seemed to pool back towards the hollow. The most extraordinary thing about his Clan and the other Clans that were near by, was that they could shape shift. Mind, it took a lot of focus to do so, and the larger the form the 更多 energy it took. Lately, a lot of 狼 had taken a fancy to cat forms, it usually took long weeks of practice and commitment, but many of the 狼 in his headstrong Clan had their 心 set on their own agile cat forms. The most easiest form to master was a human form, which their seer, Skysong, was almost always in.
     As Fallenfeather bounded ahead a leopard came running, he wasn’t looking where he was going and crashed into Fallenfeather. Fallenfeather growled in warning and the leopard immediately jumped up, licking his disheveled fur. He glanced self-consciously around.
    “I’m sorry, Fallenfeather! Are 你 Ok?” the leopard seemed to barely be paying attention to what was going on, but after a 分钟 of silence on Fallenfeather’s part he refocused and smoothed Fallenfeather’s 毛皮 with a tentative paw. Fallenfeather collected himself and stood up,
    “I’m fine, Coldsnap, just... pay attention to what your doing 下一个 time” Fallenfeather rumbled lamely. Coldsnap nodded, then hurried around Fallenfeather, his tail lashing. Fallenfeather sighed wearily, then continued into the camp. He could already see Breezewhisper’s tail swishing some fronds that were close to the main den, her mouth was open in complaint and a scowl sparked in her eyes.
    “It’s not fair! I want to go! This is favouritism! Baseless favouritism!” Breezewhisper was wailing. Fallenfeather cocked his ears forward, wondering what was going on. A beige 狼 with white paws and a dark brown ring around her muzzle appeared from the shadows of the centered den. It was their mother, Windsong.
    “It’s not favouritism, it is Blazefire’s commands, she is the alpha and 你 must adhere to her wishes, now hush, 你 are very young and would not understand.” Windsong huffed, then she raised a paw and ushered Breezewhisper aside with a “don’t disturb Blazefire” look. Breezewhisper growled and skulked to spot underneath an outcrop of rock where she could sulk in peace. Fallenfeather flicked his tail, he and his littermates were 7 months old, speaking of which, his brother poked his nose out of the 巢穴, den, 书房 closest to Breezewhisper. He was a white 狼 with a black dorsal stripe running down his back, from his nose to the tip of his tail. Black marks stretched around 翠, 翡翠 eyes as well. His 毛皮 stuck out at every angle like thistles, it was always like that, as if it was drawn 由 some force and no matter how much 你 tried to lick it into place it stayed spiked. His name was Lionfrost. Lionfrost twitched his nose before approaching Breezewhisper, he gazed down at her then lied down beside her. They pressed closer together than began to whisper to each other. Fallenfeather moved closer, hoping to be apart of their conversation. Breezewhisper noticed. She snapped her head towards him,
    “What do 你 want?” she snapped.
    “I want to know what’s going on, 你 two always seem to know things I don’t!” Fallenfeather answered back, his 毛皮 bristling slightly. Breezewhisper’s ears swivelled around. She glared silently at the ground.
    “ Blazefire is sending a group from FrostClan to StormClan to warn them to stay away from our territory!”