2017 was a very busy 年 for me. Now, I'm not going to talk about if it is good 或者 bad, since the 年 isn't even over yet. Plus, with the poor political choices and the shit 显示 that was Charlottesville, I think 你 can make that choice for yourself. No, 2017 was 更多 important for me as a whole. 你 may notice that, as I've been on this club longer, that I have changed a little. When I came here... Man, I was a mess. I was overly upset, and just... not the most mature person to be around, let me tell you. But, thankfully, I did get better. But I think, I can say, I changed the most this year, and in such a short time. 你 may notice that I have been using my real name a lot more, instead of my user name. I've grown to just using my real name, because I feel 更多 comfortable here, and I feel that it is 更多 appropriate. Because, the 年 2017 was one of the biggest changing points of my entire life, and left me changed forever. I'll start from the beginning.
So, 2017 was a 年 where many things changed. Some of them were for the best. I had finally graduated high school and finished my twelve years of school, and I was able to start college, with help from scholarships, and I had finally turned eighteen and was finally a legal adult and able to make choices for myself. Things seemed to be good. But I can assure you, not all the changes were great. 老友记 were going their separate ways, people were changing, life was becoming a lot harder. But these were only simple changes, really. For me, at home, things were only going to get 更多 and 更多 harder to deal with. My parents, despite their constant support of my goals, would always argue. Some days, it would only be a short bicker. Other days, it would be a full blown argument that would last for literal days. In February of this year, my parents decided to get a divorce. A couple of months after that, they did. My dad moved out into the city, and I stayed with my mother, who allowed my grandma to 移动 in to help out financially. It was pretty hard to deal with. Usually, my parents would be able to fix their relationships, but just dropping that so suddenly was pretty hard to deal with. It would only get harder from there.
After I graduated and some of my 老友记 moved on, I was just enjoying the summer break I was given. It wasn't long before my brother gave me some dire news. My grandfather, from my dads side, passed away. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. Personally, I didn't get to see my granddad much. All I knew about him was from my dad. He told me stories of how he fought in the Korean War and how he was a police officer, and all of the things he did in his past. My granddad really sounded like a strong and capable guy. When I went to the funeral, I would be lying if I 说 that I was a mess. I just sat there, not sure how to react. I knew that death was always there, but only in my head. It wasn't until I saw my granddad in that urn that I realized that I really will die one day. I knew that, in my heart, and not just in my head. It genuinely scared me. But I still kept still. I was 更多 worried about my dad. It was the first time I ever saw him cry. I never saw him cry before, and just seeing him like that made it hard for me to watch. I understood what it was like for him to lose his dad, and it made me worried about the inevitable 日 when my own dad will die, and the 日 when I will die. I'd be wrong if I 说 that was all.
A couple of weeks ago, back in August, my girlfriend of almost two years, who I have had a healthy relationship with up to this point, told me that she was feeling bored and unsure of the relationship. She didn't want to talk, and I was getting a little worried. When she finally came to talk to me, I knew that when she 说 she needed to tell me something that it wouldn't be good news. I let her talk. She told me that she was no longer seeing anything in our relationship, and 说 that, for both our sakes, that we should end things. I was shocked, and honestly, broken inside. I didn't get mad at her, and I never did get mad at her. I understood perfectly, and told her that it was fine. But once I pulled myself away from my computer screen, I felt like the world was crashing around me. I felt 更多 alone in the world than ever before. I was a complete mess for the 下一个 few days. I wouldn't leave my room unless I needed to get something to eat, I wouldn't talk to my family, and I would just sit in my room, playing games and going through the internet in the hopes that I would numb the pain I was feeling, but I knew that it wouldn't help.
At this point, I was completely broken. My parents were 分裂, 拆分 up, I was alone with no one, and I started to fear my life 更多 than ever. I was afraid of dying, and not truly experiencing a real life. Everything I did was to find some sort of happiness, but I felt as though I had only put myself into a deeper depression than ever before. I began to have doubts, that I wouldn't be able to make it, that I wouldn't be able to get through college, 或者 even get into college, and that I wouldn't be able to get a career as a writer, and would just be left miserable. There were points where I even had thoughts. Thoughts that I am not too proud of having. I didn't want to tell anyone. I kept my emotions bottled up, refusing to tell anyone else. I was always meant to be the funny guy, always trying to make others laugh so that I could make them feel better. The fact that I was such a mess honestly made me feel like shit, and that I was no good to anyone. I thought that, until I got a call from my friends, Ben and Ryan.
They wanted me to hang out with them, and for the first time in a week, I decided to head out. While we were out, I was starting to have some fun. I joked with them, and talked with them, and I laughed with them. I was starting to enjoy myself after some time. I began to feel better, just being around my 老友记 that I had been with since I first came to their school district. I felt like I shouldn't be miserable, like I had been for the past week. I talked with my dad about my grandfather, and, while he was still shaken about it, he managed to get through it. I learned to accept death at that point. I know that death is inevitable, but I feel like that I can face it 更多 than before. I just need to make the most of my life, and others should as well, before that 日 comes. I talked with my ex, and, while I wasn't able to fix things with her, I was able to 移动 on from her, and I managed to get past it. We are still friends, and I am glad. I don't want my memories of her to be torn because of poor choices and anger between us. I'm glad we were able to work things out.
2017 was a big 年 for me. Many things happened to me, and I changed a lot throughout this year. I am just glad that, I was able to get back to my usual self, and I was able to see things in a brighter light, instead of continuing to be sad and hate myself. I was able to remember that, even in the worst moments of life, when 你 are at your lowest and feel like 你 are truly alone, that is never true. 你 are never alone in this world. 你 always have someone at your side, be it friends, families, 或者 a lover. 你 are never truly alone in the world. No one ever is. So, I just want to say to 你 all, thank you.
Aquamarine6663: 你 were always there to give me motivation and always push me to do better. Despite your own limitations, 你 helped me get passed my own, and I hope 你 can get passed yours some day.
Canada24: One of the first guys I met here on this website and still a friend of mine on here. He always knows how to be loyal to the end.
SeantheHedgehog: One of the original members of this website, 你 have a lot 更多 persistence than most people I know, and I assure you, that matters a lot, Sean.
Dudespie: I know 你 may not see this, but I want 你 to know that, whenever I am up late, that it is fun to talk with 你 about the world, and I will always help 你 out if 你 ever need it.
Jade_23: 你 are always the first to 加入 in on something new I am doing, and 你 have a thick enough skin to take anything I throw at you. You've got 更多 guts than most guys I knoew
Universe_COLA: 你 may be new to this club, but your just as loyal as anyone else I know, and I hope to know 更多 about 你 in the coming years.
Alinah_09: Always there to help out anyone, and always one of the most creative members of this club with your art. 你 truly are a very artistic person here.
Deathding: Always there to help out someone, and always there to crack a joke. 你 never stop working on an article, and knowing some of the things 你 do in your life, I can say that 你 certainly aren't a quitter
Candylover246: One of the older members of this club and always one to help out others when someone else is harassing them. A truly loyal friend to have
DisneyPrince88: Some people not see 你 as the best, but I think that 你 can manage to be a truly good friend. One of the people I can really get into heated conversations with here.
The_Real_Dio: A friend who I can work on jokes with and we can always manage to insult each other without the other getting offended.
NocturnalMirage: I don't know if 你 can see this, but 你 were always there to help me, and I was always happy to help you. 你 were almost like a mentor to me, but also a good friend
I'd also like to thank Ben and Ryan for always being there for me. 你 guys have always had my back when I was down, and I want to help 你 guys out whenever I can too. My parents, for always being there to support me and always helping me reach my goals and make my dreams a reality. My brother, he may be the dumbest guy I know, but he is truly loyal and always there to get me out of trouble. My sister, always smiling away, even when she is facing some of her own problems. My 写作 teacher, who pushed me to work on my 写作 and helped me better my writing. All of 你 guys, 你 really helped me out, and I am honored to call 你 all friends. I truly am. Sorry for getting all emotional there, but I truly do mean it. Don't worry, the usual funny Nik will be back soon. Just 你 all wait. But, let's hope for a better 年 in the future guys. One where we are all at our best.
So, 2017 was a 年 where many things changed. Some of them were for the best. I had finally graduated high school and finished my twelve years of school, and I was able to start college, with help from scholarships, and I had finally turned eighteen and was finally a legal adult and able to make choices for myself. Things seemed to be good. But I can assure you, not all the changes were great. 老友记 were going their separate ways, people were changing, life was becoming a lot harder. But these were only simple changes, really. For me, at home, things were only going to get 更多 and 更多 harder to deal with. My parents, despite their constant support of my goals, would always argue. Some days, it would only be a short bicker. Other days, it would be a full blown argument that would last for literal days. In February of this year, my parents decided to get a divorce. A couple of months after that, they did. My dad moved out into the city, and I stayed with my mother, who allowed my grandma to 移动 in to help out financially. It was pretty hard to deal with. Usually, my parents would be able to fix their relationships, but just dropping that so suddenly was pretty hard to deal with. It would only get harder from there.
After I graduated and some of my 老友记 moved on, I was just enjoying the summer break I was given. It wasn't long before my brother gave me some dire news. My grandfather, from my dads side, passed away. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. Personally, I didn't get to see my granddad much. All I knew about him was from my dad. He told me stories of how he fought in the Korean War and how he was a police officer, and all of the things he did in his past. My granddad really sounded like a strong and capable guy. When I went to the funeral, I would be lying if I 说 that I was a mess. I just sat there, not sure how to react. I knew that death was always there, but only in my head. It wasn't until I saw my granddad in that urn that I realized that I really will die one day. I knew that, in my heart, and not just in my head. It genuinely scared me. But I still kept still. I was 更多 worried about my dad. It was the first time I ever saw him cry. I never saw him cry before, and just seeing him like that made it hard for me to watch. I understood what it was like for him to lose his dad, and it made me worried about the inevitable 日 when my own dad will die, and the 日 when I will die. I'd be wrong if I 说 that was all.
A couple of weeks ago, back in August, my girlfriend of almost two years, who I have had a healthy relationship with up to this point, told me that she was feeling bored and unsure of the relationship. She didn't want to talk, and I was getting a little worried. When she finally came to talk to me, I knew that when she 说 she needed to tell me something that it wouldn't be good news. I let her talk. She told me that she was no longer seeing anything in our relationship, and 说 that, for both our sakes, that we should end things. I was shocked, and honestly, broken inside. I didn't get mad at her, and I never did get mad at her. I understood perfectly, and told her that it was fine. But once I pulled myself away from my computer screen, I felt like the world was crashing around me. I felt 更多 alone in the world than ever before. I was a complete mess for the 下一个 few days. I wouldn't leave my room unless I needed to get something to eat, I wouldn't talk to my family, and I would just sit in my room, playing games and going through the internet in the hopes that I would numb the pain I was feeling, but I knew that it wouldn't help.
At this point, I was completely broken. My parents were 分裂, 拆分 up, I was alone with no one, and I started to fear my life 更多 than ever. I was afraid of dying, and not truly experiencing a real life. Everything I did was to find some sort of happiness, but I felt as though I had only put myself into a deeper depression than ever before. I began to have doubts, that I wouldn't be able to make it, that I wouldn't be able to get through college, 或者 even get into college, and that I wouldn't be able to get a career as a writer, and would just be left miserable. There were points where I even had thoughts. Thoughts that I am not too proud of having. I didn't want to tell anyone. I kept my emotions bottled up, refusing to tell anyone else. I was always meant to be the funny guy, always trying to make others laugh so that I could make them feel better. The fact that I was such a mess honestly made me feel like shit, and that I was no good to anyone. I thought that, until I got a call from my friends, Ben and Ryan.
They wanted me to hang out with them, and for the first time in a week, I decided to head out. While we were out, I was starting to have some fun. I joked with them, and talked with them, and I laughed with them. I was starting to enjoy myself after some time. I began to feel better, just being around my 老友记 that I had been with since I first came to their school district. I felt like I shouldn't be miserable, like I had been for the past week. I talked with my dad about my grandfather, and, while he was still shaken about it, he managed to get through it. I learned to accept death at that point. I know that death is inevitable, but I feel like that I can face it 更多 than before. I just need to make the most of my life, and others should as well, before that 日 comes. I talked with my ex, and, while I wasn't able to fix things with her, I was able to 移动 on from her, and I managed to get past it. We are still friends, and I am glad. I don't want my memories of her to be torn because of poor choices and anger between us. I'm glad we were able to work things out.
2017 was a big 年 for me. Many things happened to me, and I changed a lot throughout this year. I am just glad that, I was able to get back to my usual self, and I was able to see things in a brighter light, instead of continuing to be sad and hate myself. I was able to remember that, even in the worst moments of life, when 你 are at your lowest and feel like 你 are truly alone, that is never true. 你 are never alone in this world. 你 always have someone at your side, be it friends, families, 或者 a lover. 你 are never truly alone in the world. No one ever is. So, I just want to say to 你 all, thank you.
Aquamarine6663: 你 were always there to give me motivation and always push me to do better. Despite your own limitations, 你 helped me get passed my own, and I hope 你 can get passed yours some day.
Canada24: One of the first guys I met here on this website and still a friend of mine on here. He always knows how to be loyal to the end.
SeantheHedgehog: One of the original members of this website, 你 have a lot 更多 persistence than most people I know, and I assure you, that matters a lot, Sean.
Dudespie: I know 你 may not see this, but I want 你 to know that, whenever I am up late, that it is fun to talk with 你 about the world, and I will always help 你 out if 你 ever need it.
Jade_23: 你 are always the first to 加入 in on something new I am doing, and 你 have a thick enough skin to take anything I throw at you. You've got 更多 guts than most guys I knoew
Universe_COLA: 你 may be new to this club, but your just as loyal as anyone else I know, and I hope to know 更多 about 你 in the coming years.
Alinah_09: Always there to help out anyone, and always one of the most creative members of this club with your art. 你 truly are a very artistic person here.
Deathding: Always there to help out someone, and always there to crack a joke. 你 never stop working on an article, and knowing some of the things 你 do in your life, I can say that 你 certainly aren't a quitter
Candylover246: One of the older members of this club and always one to help out others when someone else is harassing them. A truly loyal friend to have
DisneyPrince88: Some people not see 你 as the best, but I think that 你 can manage to be a truly good friend. One of the people I can really get into heated conversations with here.
The_Real_Dio: A friend who I can work on jokes with and we can always manage to insult each other without the other getting offended.
NocturnalMirage: I don't know if 你 can see this, but 你 were always there to help me, and I was always happy to help you. 你 were almost like a mentor to me, but also a good friend
I'd also like to thank Ben and Ryan for always being there for me. 你 guys have always had my back when I was down, and I want to help 你 guys out whenever I can too. My parents, for always being there to support me and always helping me reach my goals and make my dreams a reality. My brother, he may be the dumbest guy I know, but he is truly loyal and always there to get me out of trouble. My sister, always smiling away, even when she is facing some of her own problems. My 写作 teacher, who pushed me to work on my 写作 and helped me better my writing. All of 你 guys, 你 really helped me out, and I am honored to call 你 all friends. I truly am. Sorry for getting all emotional there, but I truly do mean it. Don't worry, the usual funny Nik will be back soon. Just 你 all wait. But, let's hope for a better 年 in the future guys. One where we are all at our best.
