Teacher: Okay, kids, we will be arriving at the campsite soon. Are 你 all excited
(No one talks)
Teacher: Great, neither am I (Drinks from a bottle of whisky)
Wind: (Sitting in the back, as usual)
Amanda: So, Wind, any plans for the camping trip
Wind: Sit on the bus and wait for it to end. I only came here because the students who think that Donald Trump is a good idea for a president was sitting at school. It was either stay there and lose brain cells 或者 come here and waste time, and I need my brain cells, so I am just stuck on the short bus
Amanda: This isn’t a short bus
Wind: 给 the students on board, it might as well be.
Teacher: Okay, students. Just set up your tents and take 食物 from wherever 你 can find in the bag. I will make my own tent from another campsite (Walks to the other campsite with the other teachers to a large lodge with air conditioning, electricity, internet access, and a large pool)
Cody: (Searches through the bag) I got an onion
Wind: (Finds an apple) I got an apple
Cody: Did 你 know that onions are the only 食物 that makes 你 cry?
Wind: ……. (Throws the 苹果 at Cody so hard, it shatters, knocking him to the ground)
Cody: AH, WHAT THE FUCK!
Wind: 你 说 that onions are the only 食物 that makes 你 cry, so I am testing that theory
Cody: 你 didn’t have to throw it that hard (Begins to tear up)
Wind: Well, looks like your a fucking liar, Cody
James: (Watching from his tent to spy on the girls side of the camp)
Wind: (Smacks James in the back of the head to get his attention) James, where are the bathrooms?
James: Oh… Over there (Points at a hole in the ground)
Wind: ….. Very funny. But seriously, where is an actual bathroom
James: I am serious, Wind. That’s the toilet
Wind: I’m supposed to piss in a hole in the ground
James: Yes
Wind: What if I have to do something else. What do I use to clean myself
James: A leaf
Wind: Fuck that. I may be poor, but goddamnit, I have standards.
Cody: Man, this sucks (Gets attacked 由 a swarm of mosquitos)
Wind: 你 think (Sprays every bug that comes near him)
Cody: 你 know, 你 don’t have to hog up the bug spray
Wind: And I don’t have to worry about malaria, but I’m not taking the chances of contracting it
(It turns to evening)
Cody: Man, with all the bugs, heat, and lack of food, I just wonder how the teachers are doing
James: They’re probably doing just as bad, if not worse
(Meanwhile)
(The teachers are watching 电视 while drinking in the lodge bar)
(Meanwhile)
Cody: Those poor teachers
Wind: Oh, wah, wah. Worry about someone who is 更多 important; Me!
James: How are 你 important?
Wind: Do 你 know who 你 are talking to? Someone in this damn school needs some common sense, and it is clearly none of you
Cody: Wind, 你 used up all our bug spray, tries to urinate in a campers canteen as a toilet, and used all of our 食物 to prove that onions are not the only 食物 that makes 你 cry. I think 你 only made shit worse
Wind: Please, it was all for a good reason
James: I agree with Cody. 你 are completely reckless and unpredictable. Perhaps 你 should sleep outside of the campsite
Wind: 你 all are either with me 或者 against me
Wind: (Carrying a bag) Fine, I don’t need 你 fuckers. I can be perfectly happy in my own campsite (Sits on a log and starts a 火, 消防 with his lighter) Ha. Survival instincts my left testicle…….. Cody, give me some water…….. Oh, right……… Damn, this kinda sucks without someone to yell at
Amanda: (Walks over) Oh, 嘿 Wind
Wind: Oh, good. Someone to yell at…………………………. Why can’t I yell at you. This isn’t normal
Amanda: Probably because I haven’t done something stupid yet
Wind: Fair point
Amanda: (Sits on the log 下一个 to him) So, what are 你 doing here
Wind: Well, the other campers didn’t want me to be their merciful dictator of the group, so they began a mutiny and kicked me out
Amanda: Heh. Same here……. Though, not exactly the same way as you. I just left because they wouldn’t listen. They kept being completely immature and unruly and I just couldn’t take it
Wind: I know that feeling
Amanda: 你 do?
Wind: I see it literally every day. It’s fucking stupid
Amanda: Yeah. True.
Wind: …………
Amanda: ………....
Wind: Well, this was a lovely and awkward conversation, but I should probably head to bed
Amanda: Oh… 你 have a tent
Wind: I can sleep on the log
Amanda: Well, if 你 want, 你 can sleep in my tent. I brought a spare from the camp with me
Wind: ……… Why are 你 being nice to me?
Amanda: Are 你 really complaining
Wind: No. Just…… Everyone is usually pissed at me
Amanda: Maybe 你 should try being nicer to people
Wind: Let’s not go that far
Amanda; Yeah, thought 你 wouldn’t like hearing that.
Amanda: (Gets the tent set up)
Wind: (Steps in and lies down)
Amanda: (Lies on the opposite side) Well… goodnight
Wind: Yeah, whatever (Tries to fall asleep)
Amanda: (Falls asleep)
Wind: …………. (I swear, things get weirder and weirder. First the baby with three parents in the United Kingdom, and now everyone is being actually nice to me. It’s creepy)
Teacher: Okay, everyone, I hope 你 all had a good time. I can assure you, I didn’t. Can’t believe that we had wine from 1910 instead of 1908
(The students wake up, stiff and uncomfortable)
Cody: I think I slept on a rock
James: I DID sleep on a rock.
Cody: Should we find Wind and make sure he wasn’t mauled 由 a bear
James: Alright (They both head to the other campsite)
Wind: (Steps out of the tent and stretches) For a worthless cloth tent, I surprisingly slept well
Amanda: (From in the tent, folding the sleeping bags) Good to hear
(James and Cody walk over)
James: Hey, Wind
Wind: Oh… it’s 你 two
Amanda: (Pokes her head out) Who’s there, Wind?
Wind: Just the brain dead guy and the pervert. I’ll tell them to leave
Amanda: Oh, okay. Don’t take too long (Goes back in)
(James and Cody’s jaws drop)
Wind: ………. What?
James: Lucky bastard
Wind: I have no clue what 你 mean
Cody: What’s she like. Explain
Wind: Okay……. She has blonde hair, and she likes order
Cody: I meant…. In the sack
Wind: I wouldn’t know. I never shoved her into a bag
(No one talks)
Teacher: Great, neither am I (Drinks from a bottle of whisky)
Wind: (Sitting in the back, as usual)
Amanda: So, Wind, any plans for the camping trip
Wind: Sit on the bus and wait for it to end. I only came here because the students who think that Donald Trump is a good idea for a president was sitting at school. It was either stay there and lose brain cells 或者 come here and waste time, and I need my brain cells, so I am just stuck on the short bus
Amanda: This isn’t a short bus
Wind: 给 the students on board, it might as well be.
Teacher: Okay, students. Just set up your tents and take 食物 from wherever 你 can find in the bag. I will make my own tent from another campsite (Walks to the other campsite with the other teachers to a large lodge with air conditioning, electricity, internet access, and a large pool)
Cody: (Searches through the bag) I got an onion
Wind: (Finds an apple) I got an apple
Cody: Did 你 know that onions are the only 食物 that makes 你 cry?
Wind: ……. (Throws the 苹果 at Cody so hard, it shatters, knocking him to the ground)
Cody: AH, WHAT THE FUCK!
Wind: 你 说 that onions are the only 食物 that makes 你 cry, so I am testing that theory
Cody: 你 didn’t have to throw it that hard (Begins to tear up)
Wind: Well, looks like your a fucking liar, Cody
James: (Watching from his tent to spy on the girls side of the camp)
Wind: (Smacks James in the back of the head to get his attention) James, where are the bathrooms?
James: Oh… Over there (Points at a hole in the ground)
Wind: ….. Very funny. But seriously, where is an actual bathroom
James: I am serious, Wind. That’s the toilet
Wind: I’m supposed to piss in a hole in the ground
James: Yes
Wind: What if I have to do something else. What do I use to clean myself
James: A leaf
Wind: Fuck that. I may be poor, but goddamnit, I have standards.
Cody: Man, this sucks (Gets attacked 由 a swarm of mosquitos)
Wind: 你 think (Sprays every bug that comes near him)
Cody: 你 know, 你 don’t have to hog up the bug spray
Wind: And I don’t have to worry about malaria, but I’m not taking the chances of contracting it
(It turns to evening)
Cody: Man, with all the bugs, heat, and lack of food, I just wonder how the teachers are doing
James: They’re probably doing just as bad, if not worse
(Meanwhile)
(The teachers are watching 电视 while drinking in the lodge bar)
(Meanwhile)
Cody: Those poor teachers
Wind: Oh, wah, wah. Worry about someone who is 更多 important; Me!
James: How are 你 important?
Wind: Do 你 know who 你 are talking to? Someone in this damn school needs some common sense, and it is clearly none of you
Cody: Wind, 你 used up all our bug spray, tries to urinate in a campers canteen as a toilet, and used all of our 食物 to prove that onions are not the only 食物 that makes 你 cry. I think 你 only made shit worse
Wind: Please, it was all for a good reason
James: I agree with Cody. 你 are completely reckless and unpredictable. Perhaps 你 should sleep outside of the campsite
Wind: 你 all are either with me 或者 against me
Wind: (Carrying a bag) Fine, I don’t need 你 fuckers. I can be perfectly happy in my own campsite (Sits on a log and starts a 火, 消防 with his lighter) Ha. Survival instincts my left testicle…….. Cody, give me some water…….. Oh, right……… Damn, this kinda sucks without someone to yell at
Amanda: (Walks over) Oh, 嘿 Wind
Wind: Oh, good. Someone to yell at…………………………. Why can’t I yell at you. This isn’t normal
Amanda: Probably because I haven’t done something stupid yet
Wind: Fair point
Amanda: (Sits on the log 下一个 to him) So, what are 你 doing here
Wind: Well, the other campers didn’t want me to be their merciful dictator of the group, so they began a mutiny and kicked me out
Amanda: Heh. Same here……. Though, not exactly the same way as you. I just left because they wouldn’t listen. They kept being completely immature and unruly and I just couldn’t take it
Wind: I know that feeling
Amanda: 你 do?
Wind: I see it literally every day. It’s fucking stupid
Amanda: Yeah. True.
Wind: …………
Amanda: ………....
Wind: Well, this was a lovely and awkward conversation, but I should probably head to bed
Amanda: Oh… 你 have a tent
Wind: I can sleep on the log
Amanda: Well, if 你 want, 你 can sleep in my tent. I brought a spare from the camp with me
Wind: ……… Why are 你 being nice to me?
Amanda: Are 你 really complaining
Wind: No. Just…… Everyone is usually pissed at me
Amanda: Maybe 你 should try being nicer to people
Wind: Let’s not go that far
Amanda; Yeah, thought 你 wouldn’t like hearing that.
Amanda: (Gets the tent set up)
Wind: (Steps in and lies down)
Amanda: (Lies on the opposite side) Well… goodnight
Wind: Yeah, whatever (Tries to fall asleep)
Amanda: (Falls asleep)
Wind: …………. (I swear, things get weirder and weirder. First the baby with three parents in the United Kingdom, and now everyone is being actually nice to me. It’s creepy)
Teacher: Okay, everyone, I hope 你 all had a good time. I can assure you, I didn’t. Can’t believe that we had wine from 1910 instead of 1908
(The students wake up, stiff and uncomfortable)
Cody: I think I slept on a rock
James: I DID sleep on a rock.
Cody: Should we find Wind and make sure he wasn’t mauled 由 a bear
James: Alright (They both head to the other campsite)
Wind: (Steps out of the tent and stretches) For a worthless cloth tent, I surprisingly slept well
Amanda: (From in the tent, folding the sleeping bags) Good to hear
(James and Cody walk over)
James: Hey, Wind
Wind: Oh… it’s 你 two
Amanda: (Pokes her head out) Who’s there, Wind?
Wind: Just the brain dead guy and the pervert. I’ll tell them to leave
Amanda: Oh, okay. Don’t take too long (Goes back in)
(James and Cody’s jaws drop)
Wind: ………. What?
James: Lucky bastard
Wind: I have no clue what 你 mean
Cody: What’s she like. Explain
Wind: Okay……. She has blonde hair, and she likes order
Cody: I meant…. In the sack
Wind: I wouldn’t know. I never shoved her into a bag