Mario - A fat Italian plumber who sucks at his own job and has no other choice but to work as a hero in the land of 蘑菇 drug trips and massacre every living creature in his way, including innocent 龟, 海龟 people, the wildlife, and even the infant son of the villain, all so he can get blue-balled in the end 由 the princess.
Sonic - a blue washed-up character who has taken a brutal beating from the Sega Mafia after Sonic 06, managed to get better with the help of his fans, but the mafia wasn’t done with him, as they came back for another meeting with Sonic’s legs and a baseball bat during the events of the making of Sonic Boom, a beating that doctors believe Sonic won’t be able to recover from this time.
Link - A quiet little kid with a whole lot of mommy issues and usually a sad orphan, having many different variations like a well set buffet, with characters including an emotionless kid that grows to an emotionless adult, a kid with the facial expressions of a cartoon character, a Jacob from Twilight wannabe, and whatever his expression was in the era before 3-D graphics
Master Chief - A 太空 marine
Doom Guy - A 太空 marine
Commander Shepard - A 太空 marine
Marcus Fenix - A 太空 marine
Lara Croft - A strong-minded woman with the greatest pixelated bust in the PS1 图书馆 since Soul Blade, before new gen graphics came and made her Bland McBoring Face
Kratos - A fallen god with a whole lot of anger issues, making him a 最近的 descendent of the great ape family, with all the sexual energy of a dog in heat
Agent 47 - A deadly hitman with no personality to make him have any feelings for others (Except in Absolution), with a bald head that could reflect the sun and blind a mortal man
Solid Snake - A strong man of war whose old 识骨寻踪 fuck his body up 更多 than a meth addict, and basically ends up fucking up everything else in Snake’s live, earning him the gaming 标题 of “Saddest Fuck in Gaming”.
Samus Aran - A powerful, strong hearted bounty hunter who is shown that women are able to be just as strong as men, and they too can be badasses, is what I would say, but thanks to Other M, and giving Samus a skin tight zero suit, we can chuck all that “Strong Female Character” shit right out the window and give her the 标题 of “If I’m Sexy, Nothing Else Matters. Including Having a Personality”
Pac-Man - A moving 比萨, 比萨饼 with one slice missing, turned to a yellow ball with arms and legs, turned into a “What Alcohol Does to You” character after his appearance in The Ghostly Adventures Fuck-Up of 2013
Pyramid Head - Once a symbol of pain and suffering, now turned into a bigger sell-out then Eddie Murphy, resulting in the great disaster that struck the world in only a few years after Silent 爬坡道, 小山 2 that nearly killed hundreds, also known as Silent Hill: Revelations
Ray-Man - A character with no neck, no arms, no legs, and after the Raving Rabbids series, no respect until Ray-Man Origins where the world was able to tolerate him again
云, 云计算 Strife - An ex-member of Soldier and a member of the rebel group Avalanche, being one of the biggest whiny bitches since Baby Mario, but I can still tolerate a lot 更多 than Lighting. Hey, better to have an annoying personality than no personality at all
Worms - A strong group of characters whose only purpose is to die for the amusement of humans, like in real life.
Gordon Freeman - A physicist who is lacks vocal cords in order to talk, but makes up with it with his ability to wield every gun known to man, and become the messiah of the rebels who ask him to solve problems, thinking Freeman could cure cancer with the 摇摆, 秋千 of his crowbar, which he possibly can if he wants to
Duke Nukem - A five 年 old in the body of a steroid addicted twenty 年 old who got into his dad’s gun cabinet and started running around, shouting every single word he learned from the twelve 年 olds on a match of Call of Duty
Dante - A strong and actually hilarious character gang raped 由 Ninja Theory to turn this once loveable asshole into just a complete asshole, with the personality of a whiny teen who got into an argument with his father because he couldn’t go to the party with his 老友记 and needs to swear to prove he’s a big kid now
Mega Man - A robot with an arm 大炮, 加农炮 who helped Capcom gain popularity and, the one thing they lack today, respect, and of course, was repaid with being completely forgotten and not even mentioned in their latest fighting game, Marvel Vs. Capcom, and are only recently remembering that Mega Man was a thing that existed.
皮卡丘 - A friendly yellow 鼠, 大鼠 with the ability to conduct electricity forced to go on the adventures with a kid who has no growth hormones and, in game, 你 will 爱情 and respect him until 你 capture a rare Pokemon and forever forget about your 皮卡丘 and someone comes along and writes shitty creepypastas of it.
Crash Bandicoot - He’s dead
Whoever is in the 下一个 Call of Duty 或者 Grand Theft Auto - The only characters from the games that kids from the ages of 5 give a shit about anymore
Sonic - a blue washed-up character who has taken a brutal beating from the Sega Mafia after Sonic 06, managed to get better with the help of his fans, but the mafia wasn’t done with him, as they came back for another meeting with Sonic’s legs and a baseball bat during the events of the making of Sonic Boom, a beating that doctors believe Sonic won’t be able to recover from this time.
Link - A quiet little kid with a whole lot of mommy issues and usually a sad orphan, having many different variations like a well set buffet, with characters including an emotionless kid that grows to an emotionless adult, a kid with the facial expressions of a cartoon character, a Jacob from Twilight wannabe, and whatever his expression was in the era before 3-D graphics
Master Chief - A 太空 marine
Doom Guy - A 太空 marine
Commander Shepard - A 太空 marine
Marcus Fenix - A 太空 marine
Lara Croft - A strong-minded woman with the greatest pixelated bust in the PS1 图书馆 since Soul Blade, before new gen graphics came and made her Bland McBoring Face
Kratos - A fallen god with a whole lot of anger issues, making him a 最近的 descendent of the great ape family, with all the sexual energy of a dog in heat
Agent 47 - A deadly hitman with no personality to make him have any feelings for others (Except in Absolution), with a bald head that could reflect the sun and blind a mortal man
Solid Snake - A strong man of war whose old 识骨寻踪 fuck his body up 更多 than a meth addict, and basically ends up fucking up everything else in Snake’s live, earning him the gaming 标题 of “Saddest Fuck in Gaming”.
Samus Aran - A powerful, strong hearted bounty hunter who is shown that women are able to be just as strong as men, and they too can be badasses, is what I would say, but thanks to Other M, and giving Samus a skin tight zero suit, we can chuck all that “Strong Female Character” shit right out the window and give her the 标题 of “If I’m Sexy, Nothing Else Matters. Including Having a Personality”
Pac-Man - A moving 比萨, 比萨饼 with one slice missing, turned to a yellow ball with arms and legs, turned into a “What Alcohol Does to You” character after his appearance in The Ghostly Adventures Fuck-Up of 2013
Pyramid Head - Once a symbol of pain and suffering, now turned into a bigger sell-out then Eddie Murphy, resulting in the great disaster that struck the world in only a few years after Silent 爬坡道, 小山 2 that nearly killed hundreds, also known as Silent Hill: Revelations
Ray-Man - A character with no neck, no arms, no legs, and after the Raving Rabbids series, no respect until Ray-Man Origins where the world was able to tolerate him again
云, 云计算 Strife - An ex-member of Soldier and a member of the rebel group Avalanche, being one of the biggest whiny bitches since Baby Mario, but I can still tolerate a lot 更多 than Lighting. Hey, better to have an annoying personality than no personality at all
Worms - A strong group of characters whose only purpose is to die for the amusement of humans, like in real life.
Gordon Freeman - A physicist who is lacks vocal cords in order to talk, but makes up with it with his ability to wield every gun known to man, and become the messiah of the rebels who ask him to solve problems, thinking Freeman could cure cancer with the 摇摆, 秋千 of his crowbar, which he possibly can if he wants to
Duke Nukem - A five 年 old in the body of a steroid addicted twenty 年 old who got into his dad’s gun cabinet and started running around, shouting every single word he learned from the twelve 年 olds on a match of Call of Duty
Dante - A strong and actually hilarious character gang raped 由 Ninja Theory to turn this once loveable asshole into just a complete asshole, with the personality of a whiny teen who got into an argument with his father because he couldn’t go to the party with his 老友记 and needs to swear to prove he’s a big kid now
Mega Man - A robot with an arm 大炮, 加农炮 who helped Capcom gain popularity and, the one thing they lack today, respect, and of course, was repaid with being completely forgotten and not even mentioned in their latest fighting game, Marvel Vs. Capcom, and are only recently remembering that Mega Man was a thing that existed.
皮卡丘 - A friendly yellow 鼠, 大鼠 with the ability to conduct electricity forced to go on the adventures with a kid who has no growth hormones and, in game, 你 will 爱情 and respect him until 你 capture a rare Pokemon and forever forget about your 皮卡丘 and someone comes along and writes shitty creepypastas of it.
Crash Bandicoot - He’s dead
Whoever is in the 下一个 Call of Duty 或者 Grand Theft Auto - The only characters from the games that kids from the ages of 5 give a shit about anymore
#1:SULLIVAN:
As 你 already know.
I kinda stopped playing for a bit, Sullivan is why.
Not to mention. I was shocked the first time. I was starting to like Sullivan..
#2: CHEF ANTOINE:
I think we covered this one :)
#3: BACHMAYER:
Near the end of the 3rd game, Max Payne fights this guy.
It's hard to explain, why it's so hard, just have to see it yourself..
#4: BECKER:
Last boss of Max Payne 3.
And really holds the "last boss" feeling.
In a negative way..
#5: WESKER:
The main villain of Resident evil 5. And final boss..
#6: CEASER:
The final boss of Assasins Creed 3..
As 你 already know.
I kinda stopped playing for a bit, Sullivan is why.
Not to mention. I was shocked the first time. I was starting to like Sullivan..
#2: CHEF ANTOINE:
I think we covered this one :)
#3: BACHMAYER:
Near the end of the 3rd game, Max Payne fights this guy.
It's hard to explain, why it's so hard, just have to see it yourself..
#4: BECKER:
Last boss of Max Payne 3.
And really holds the "last boss" feeling.
In a negative way..
#5: WESKER:
The main villain of Resident evil 5. And final boss..
#6: CEASER:
The final boss of Assasins Creed 3..
What in the name of god. They are already ready remaking Grand Theft Auto 5.
Now, don't get me wrong. I 爱情 Grand Theft Auto 5. I think it is one of the funnest games I have played in 2013. But, seriously, it's only one 年 old, and already they are remaking it for PS游戏机 4 and XBox One. Seriously, 你 should at least give a game some time to age before 你 remake it. Look at Ocarina of Time, a game which people 说 is the greatest game ever, which was made back in 1999. The remake for the 3DS wasn't made until 2012, which is years later. Honestly, they are already remaking GTA 5. Sure, the graphics are better, but the thing is that the graphics were amazing to begin with. Why are 你 remaking this game so early, Rockstar. But, hey, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take
Now, don't get me wrong. I 爱情 Grand Theft Auto 5. I think it is one of the funnest games I have played in 2013. But, seriously, it's only one 年 old, and already they are remaking it for PS游戏机 4 and XBox One. Seriously, 你 should at least give a game some time to age before 你 remake it. Look at Ocarina of Time, a game which people 说 is the greatest game ever, which was made back in 1999. The remake for the 3DS wasn't made until 2012, which is years later. Honestly, they are already remaking GTA 5. Sure, the graphics are better, but the thing is that the graphics were amazing to begin with. Why are 你 remaking this game so early, Rockstar. But, hey, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take
*ding dong*
???: what is it?
Henry: hello Simon
Simon: Henry! 你 still wearing that tux?
Henry: every chance I get
Simon: heh... oh... 你 brought soldiers
Dex: why does everyone think i'm a soldier?
Marcus: no idea...
Henry: 你 seem calmer since the last time a saw you...
Simon: I take pills... anyway, why are 你 here?
Henry: we need 你 back
Simon: no way! i'm NOT going back to Klintsy!
Henry: we are close to taking down Harper and Dominic.
Simon: why don't fight your own war!
Henry: 你 are the only one that knows Harper and his tactics.
Simon: ok then, come inside so I can teach 你
Henry: 你 and I both know that he still has some sanity left...
Simon: ... *sigh* lets go...
???: what is it?
Henry: hello Simon
Simon: Henry! 你 still wearing that tux?
Henry: every chance I get
Simon: heh... oh... 你 brought soldiers
Dex: why does everyone think i'm a soldier?
Marcus: no idea...
Henry: 你 seem calmer since the last time a saw you...
Simon: I take pills... anyway, why are 你 here?
Henry: we need 你 back
Simon: no way! i'm NOT going back to Klintsy!
Henry: we are close to taking down Harper and Dominic.
Simon: why don't fight your own war!
Henry: 你 are the only one that knows Harper and his tactics.
Simon: ok then, come inside so I can teach 你
Henry: 你 and I both know that he still has some sanity left...
Simon: ... *sigh* lets go...