Wind: But why do I have to do this
Teacher: Because at the last ballgame, your so called “National Anthem” caused a full scale riot
Wind: Oh, it wasn’t that bad
Teacher: Forty-six people died
Wind: Oh… well that what they get for going to a ballgame
Teacher: Okay, the way I see it, 你 have two options. 你 can either play a game of baseball and win this school a victory, 或者 你 can spend a 日 with Austin over there
Austin: (Draws a penis on the board) HA HA HA HA!
Wind: I’ll play
Teacher: Your damn right 你 will
(That night)
Dave: Hello, Oxford. It is a beautiful 日 here at the 牛津, 牛津大学 High Schools Baseball Field. I’m your host, Dave Davidson
John: And John Johnson. And were here to give 你 the latest in high school baseball news
Dave: It still baffles me how people are this interested in high school baseball
John: 牛津, 牛津大学 is a dump. What do 你 expect?
Dave: Well, I hear Wind is going to be playing today
John: 你 mean the guy who started the riot at the last game
Dave: Yeah, he’s fucking nuts. Even though I totally respect him. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t wanna die
John: Same here
(Meanwhile, on the field)
Cody: Tell me again how 你 convinced me to 加入
Wind: I didn’t. 你 just showed up. And in uniform, too
Cody: So I did…. why?
Wind: (Stands on the field and holds bat in hand)
Player: (Holds ball) Ha, look at this fucking loser
Teacher: (In stands, as the crowd cheers) Go on, Wind. I believe in 你
Player: (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses)
(Crowd boos)
Teacher: WIND, 你 SUCK
Player: Come on, dipshit, 你 can do better than that (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses again)
Dave: Damn. Wind is missing all the balls
John: Something my ex-wife is unable to do
Wind: (Misses 下一个 ball, and in a fit of rage, smashes the bat against the gate so hard, it snaps)
Player: Yeah, just cry 首页 to mama, 你 little 婊子, 子
Dave: (Hears the player) … I think we have a bit of friendly competition
John: I couldn’t agree 更多
Cody: (Steps on the field)
Player: Ha, look at this fucking loser. 你 ready for this, 你 fucking loser
Cody: Bring it on, faggot. I can take anything 你 thr- (Ball hits Cody in the face and breaks his nose) 你 ASSHOLE, 你 BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE
Teacher: Hey, that’s bullshit (To ref) Do something about this
Ref: Well, I would, but, (Holds up stack of cash) I think the other teams have a better argument
Teacher: (Walks to Wind) Wind, I know I’m going to regret this, but… go violent
Wind: … Why? Losing this is 更多 entertaining for you. 你 dragged me into this shit in the first place, so losing is much better
Teacher: Oh goddamn it… Wait, I got a perfect idea
Wind: (Steps on the field again)
Dave: Wind’s up to pitch again
John: Lets just hope he hits those balls
Dave: Please don’t talk about hitting balls. I had a bad experience with a prostitute last night
Player: Oh, hey, the little 婊子, 子 is back up (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses)
Dave: And we’re back to where we left off
Player: Man, you’re a real fucking failure (Throws ball)
Wind: What the fuck did he just call me (Misses)
John: I swear, it’s almost as if Wind wants to lose
Player: That’s right, failure. Just fail at everything
Wind: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! I am the closest thing to a 耶稣 in this fucking generation. 你 fucking think I’m a failure
Player: Sure do, 婊子, 子 (Throws ball)
Wind: (Hits ball so hard, it hits the player in the face)
Dave: Holy shit. I think I saw teeth flying
John: Fuck the teeth. I think I saw a bit of brain matter
Ref: That’s a foul
Wind: (Throws ball at the Ref’s face, knocking him unconscious)
Player 2: (Get on the field and throws ball, which Wind knocks back into his face)
Dave: 耶稣 fucking Christ. It’s a fucking massacre out there
John: And yet, it’s even 更多 entertaining than what the people payed for
Dave: Seeing bigs of blood, bones, and a bit of flesh flying across the field is amazing to watch
John: I agree. It sure does make a change for when I see seaman flying in my bedroom when my ex-wife brought over other guys.
Player 3: Fuck this. I say we take matter into our own hands (All the baseball players pick up wooden bat, brass knuckles, crowbars, and other blunt weapons and run on the field)
Cody: (Stand on the field)
Player: (Throws ball)
Cody: (Hits ball, and runs)
Players: (Run at Cody with blunt weapons)
Cody: OH SHIT (Runs the opposite direction)
Wind: (Runs at the players and hits all of them in the face with a bat) Cody, run to the goddamn plate
Cody: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit (Runs)
Dave: I gotta tell you, this is a match for the ages
John: 你 说 it Dave. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it
Cody: (Runs through baseball diamond)
Players: (Picks up a sword and chases Cody)
Cody: ARE 你 FUCKING KIDDING ME
Wind: (Runs over to Player and swings bat)
Player: (Blocks 摇摆, 秋千 with sword)
Wind: (Keeps swinging bat)
Cody: (Runs to 首页 plate)
Players: (Drives 由 in a army jeep, while another player fires at Cody with the machine gun on top)
Cody: OH WHAT THE FUCK
Dave: Is that… A Military Jeep
John: And they are just shooting at him with the machine gun. What the fuck?
Dave: I swear to god. Most of these players are going down faster than your ex-wife on another man
John: Too true, Dave. Too true
Wind: (Hits player with the sword over the head and brakes his skull, then runs at the jeep)
Cody: OH GOD, I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE
Wind: (Jumps through the jeeps window and lands in the backseat, with a sadistic grin) 嘿 there. How’s it going
Player: Oh shit
Wind: (Begins beating the players with a bat)
Dave: What do 你 think is going on inside that jeep
John: Well, I’ve seen my wife bangining guys in her car, so, I can tell 你 what’s NOT going on. And that is anal sex
Wind: (Jumps through jeep and runs to 首页 plate)
Cody: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
Wind: Who cares, just run
Players: (Comes 由 with assault rifles)
Cody: Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking shitting me
Wind: Don’t worry, I got this. Just run as fast as 你 can (Runs back as the players, as they shoot at Wind, but miss)
Wind: (Jumps out of the way of the bullets and hits one of the players in the face with the bat, then begins to beat the other ones)
Cody: (Reaches 首页 plate)
Dave and John: HE’S 安全
Cody: Oh god, I think I shit myself
Dave: And that is it. The game is over
John: This is a match that will go down in history as one of the most fucking craziest matches in history
Dave: Crazy, yes. But is was still fucking awesome
John: I couldn’t agree 更多
Teacher: Damn it, Wind. 你 caused total chaos and sent thirty players to the hospital.
Wind: But their all alive, aren’t they. And, I won, didn’t I
Teacher: (Sighs) Yes, 你 did
Wind: Good. 由 the way, let me know when the 下一个 baseball game is. This was real fun (Walks over to Cody) 你 okay
Cody: I shit my pants… I’ll just lie here until everyone leaves
Teacher: Because at the last ballgame, your so called “National Anthem” caused a full scale riot
Wind: Oh, it wasn’t that bad
Teacher: Forty-six people died
Wind: Oh… well that what they get for going to a ballgame
Teacher: Okay, the way I see it, 你 have two options. 你 can either play a game of baseball and win this school a victory, 或者 你 can spend a 日 with Austin over there
Austin: (Draws a penis on the board) HA HA HA HA!
Wind: I’ll play
Teacher: Your damn right 你 will
(That night)
Dave: Hello, Oxford. It is a beautiful 日 here at the 牛津, 牛津大学 High Schools Baseball Field. I’m your host, Dave Davidson
John: And John Johnson. And were here to give 你 the latest in high school baseball news
Dave: It still baffles me how people are this interested in high school baseball
John: 牛津, 牛津大学 is a dump. What do 你 expect?
Dave: Well, I hear Wind is going to be playing today
John: 你 mean the guy who started the riot at the last game
Dave: Yeah, he’s fucking nuts. Even though I totally respect him. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t wanna die
John: Same here
(Meanwhile, on the field)
Cody: Tell me again how 你 convinced me to 加入
Wind: I didn’t. 你 just showed up. And in uniform, too
Cody: So I did…. why?
Wind: (Stands on the field and holds bat in hand)
Player: (Holds ball) Ha, look at this fucking loser
Teacher: (In stands, as the crowd cheers) Go on, Wind. I believe in 你
Player: (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses)
(Crowd boos)
Teacher: WIND, 你 SUCK
Player: Come on, dipshit, 你 can do better than that (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses again)
Dave: Damn. Wind is missing all the balls
John: Something my ex-wife is unable to do
Wind: (Misses 下一个 ball, and in a fit of rage, smashes the bat against the gate so hard, it snaps)
Player: Yeah, just cry 首页 to mama, 你 little 婊子, 子
Dave: (Hears the player) … I think we have a bit of friendly competition
John: I couldn’t agree 更多
Cody: (Steps on the field)
Player: Ha, look at this fucking loser. 你 ready for this, 你 fucking loser
Cody: Bring it on, faggot. I can take anything 你 thr- (Ball hits Cody in the face and breaks his nose) 你 ASSHOLE, 你 BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE
Teacher: Hey, that’s bullshit (To ref) Do something about this
Ref: Well, I would, but, (Holds up stack of cash) I think the other teams have a better argument
Teacher: (Walks to Wind) Wind, I know I’m going to regret this, but… go violent
Wind: … Why? Losing this is 更多 entertaining for you. 你 dragged me into this shit in the first place, so losing is much better
Teacher: Oh goddamn it… Wait, I got a perfect idea
Wind: (Steps on the field again)
Dave: Wind’s up to pitch again
John: Lets just hope he hits those balls
Dave: Please don’t talk about hitting balls. I had a bad experience with a prostitute last night
Player: Oh, hey, the little 婊子, 子 is back up (Throws ball)
Wind: (Misses)
Dave: And we’re back to where we left off
Player: Man, you’re a real fucking failure (Throws ball)
Wind: What the fuck did he just call me (Misses)
John: I swear, it’s almost as if Wind wants to lose
Player: That’s right, failure. Just fail at everything
Wind: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! I am the closest thing to a 耶稣 in this fucking generation. 你 fucking think I’m a failure
Player: Sure do, 婊子, 子 (Throws ball)
Wind: (Hits ball so hard, it hits the player in the face)
Dave: Holy shit. I think I saw teeth flying
John: Fuck the teeth. I think I saw a bit of brain matter
Ref: That’s a foul
Wind: (Throws ball at the Ref’s face, knocking him unconscious)
Player 2: (Get on the field and throws ball, which Wind knocks back into his face)
Dave: 耶稣 fucking Christ. It’s a fucking massacre out there
John: And yet, it’s even 更多 entertaining than what the people payed for
Dave: Seeing bigs of blood, bones, and a bit of flesh flying across the field is amazing to watch
John: I agree. It sure does make a change for when I see seaman flying in my bedroom when my ex-wife brought over other guys.
Player 3: Fuck this. I say we take matter into our own hands (All the baseball players pick up wooden bat, brass knuckles, crowbars, and other blunt weapons and run on the field)
Cody: (Stand on the field)
Player: (Throws ball)
Cody: (Hits ball, and runs)
Players: (Run at Cody with blunt weapons)
Cody: OH SHIT (Runs the opposite direction)
Wind: (Runs at the players and hits all of them in the face with a bat) Cody, run to the goddamn plate
Cody: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit (Runs)
Dave: I gotta tell you, this is a match for the ages
John: 你 说 it Dave. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it
Cody: (Runs through baseball diamond)
Players: (Picks up a sword and chases Cody)
Cody: ARE 你 FUCKING KIDDING ME
Wind: (Runs over to Player and swings bat)
Player: (Blocks 摇摆, 秋千 with sword)
Wind: (Keeps swinging bat)
Cody: (Runs to 首页 plate)
Players: (Drives 由 in a army jeep, while another player fires at Cody with the machine gun on top)
Cody: OH WHAT THE FUCK
Dave: Is that… A Military Jeep
John: And they are just shooting at him with the machine gun. What the fuck?
Dave: I swear to god. Most of these players are going down faster than your ex-wife on another man
John: Too true, Dave. Too true
Wind: (Hits player with the sword over the head and brakes his skull, then runs at the jeep)
Cody: OH GOD, I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE
Wind: (Jumps through the jeeps window and lands in the backseat, with a sadistic grin) 嘿 there. How’s it going
Player: Oh shit
Wind: (Begins beating the players with a bat)
Dave: What do 你 think is going on inside that jeep
John: Well, I’ve seen my wife bangining guys in her car, so, I can tell 你 what’s NOT going on. And that is anal sex
Wind: (Jumps through jeep and runs to 首页 plate)
Cody: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
Wind: Who cares, just run
Players: (Comes 由 with assault rifles)
Cody: Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking shitting me
Wind: Don’t worry, I got this. Just run as fast as 你 can (Runs back as the players, as they shoot at Wind, but miss)
Wind: (Jumps out of the way of the bullets and hits one of the players in the face with the bat, then begins to beat the other ones)
Cody: (Reaches 首页 plate)
Dave and John: HE’S 安全
Cody: Oh god, I think I shit myself
Dave: And that is it. The game is over
John: This is a match that will go down in history as one of the most fucking craziest matches in history
Dave: Crazy, yes. But is was still fucking awesome
John: I couldn’t agree 更多
Teacher: Damn it, Wind. 你 caused total chaos and sent thirty players to the hospital.
Wind: But their all alive, aren’t they. And, I won, didn’t I
Teacher: (Sighs) Yes, 你 did
Wind: Good. 由 the way, let me know when the 下一个 baseball game is. This was real fun (Walks over to Cody) 你 okay
Cody: I shit my pants… I’ll just lie here until everyone leaves
#1: THE RING:
If 你 seen the trailer.. Your think it's just stupid movie.. But appearently it's actually a very smart movie.. I never seen it, so not certain.
#2: INSIDIOUS:
Jump scares done "right".
#3: THE GIFT:
I can't explain anything without spoiling it.
But basically Jason Bateman are dealing with an old friend, that's basically the standard creepy neighbour, being way too nice.. But the end 你 would not see coming..
#4: PLAY MISTY FOR ME:
A 1971 film where a guy gets stalked 由 a emotionally disturbed young woman, who gets way too close than he likes..
#5: ONE 小时 PHOTO:
Everyday we meet helpful strangers at the grocery store, the gas station, and the bank. Most of them are just employees doing a job with a smile on their face, moving from one customer to the next, but sometimes they can take an unhealthy obsession with our personal lives..
If 你 seen the trailer.. Your think it's just stupid movie.. But appearently it's actually a very smart movie.. I never seen it, so not certain.
#2: INSIDIOUS:
Jump scares done "right".
#3: THE GIFT:
I can't explain anything without spoiling it.
But basically Jason Bateman are dealing with an old friend, that's basically the standard creepy neighbour, being way too nice.. But the end 你 would not see coming..
#4: PLAY MISTY FOR ME:
A 1971 film where a guy gets stalked 由 a emotionally disturbed young woman, who gets way too close than he likes..
#5: ONE 小时 PHOTO:
Everyday we meet helpful strangers at the grocery store, the gas station, and the bank. Most of them are just employees doing a job with a smile on their face, moving from one customer to the next, but sometimes they can take an unhealthy obsession with our personal lives..