Link: Hey, look, its an eskimo
Zunari: Hello
Link: Let me guess. Your crazy as shit too. What's your story. 你 live in a fucking freezer.
Zunari: Not really. When 你 look at all the psychopaths and idiots in this city, someone has to have some sanity
Link: Oh, okay. So, what's wrong with you
Zunari: Well, 你 see, I have this 安全 here, but, every time I close the store at night, someone always comes here and steals from me. It's maddening.
Link: so, wait, 你 just have this big 屁股 安全 lying in the open of your office, and pretty much anyone can steal it
Zunari: Well, yes, that's exactly it
Link: ................... Yeah, I'll help you
Zunari: Oh, that's great. Thanks, man.
(Later that night, at Zunari's Shop)
Tetra: .......... Link
Link: ............ Yes
Tetra: .......... You're gonna rob that guy aren't you
Link: Fuck yeah
Tetra: Link!
Link: No, I have had it with getting shit rewards. If it weren't for 你 getting on my fucking back this whole time, I wouldn't even be helping these people. I'd be killing their leader, and then ruling this place with an iron fist. But, no, I just go around helping people. So, I am doing what I want now. 你 can just shut the fuck up
Tetra: Fine. Do what 你 want. I won't stop 你 from taking the money.
Link: That's good (Walks into the shop, to see a girl stealing from the safe) Hey, stay away from that safe. This is my robbery.
Mila: (Turns) Who are you
Link: A guy who may just forget about hurting 你 because your attractive.
Mila: Please, I need this money. I am just a poor girl-
Link: A super hot one at that
Mila: -Who is trying to feed my family... and 由 family, I mean just my dad who's too lazy to work for money
Link: Wow, what a great father
Mila: Yes, I know. He sucks
Link: Well, I can't let 你 steal from this shop. But, I will pay you. I am like the Bill Gates of this world, so, I will just hand 你 whatever money I have
Mila: Really. Oh, thank 你 so much. How can I repay you
Link: Sex
Mila: Oh, yes
Link: Wait, really
Mila: Of course, anything for the man who helped me and kept me from becoming a criminal
Link: Awesome. So, what do 你 say we-
Tetra: But, Link, what about Medley
Link: What about here
Tetra: Aren't 你 two dating
Link: What?
Tetra: Yeah, she 说 she loved 你 a lot and all that
Mila: Oh... I see... Oh, thank you, ma'am. So sorry Link, I was about to get in the way of your relationship with Medley
Link: What, I don't love-
Tetra: Of course he does
Link: SHE'S A FUCKING BIRD GIRL!!!
Tetra: It's the inside that counts
Mila: Well, that's good to hear. I was about to get between 你 two. And just think, I was going to screw your brains out so hard, 你 would need a wheelchair. But, a thank 你 is good enough. Well, take care Link (Walks off)
Link: Tetra! I told 你 that Medley and me aren't dating
Tetra: I know. I just did that to fuck with you. Doing things your way. Fuck that
Link: DAMN 你 TETRAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Later that day)
Zunari: Hey, man, thanks so much for helping out
Link: (Crying) I was so close to losing my virginity
Tetra: He means you're welcome
Zunari: Anyway, here is my thanks to you. It is a partnership. From now on, we will share the money I make from this store
Link: (Crying) What good is money when you're still a virgin.
Tetra: Okay, this is kinda funny
Link: (Crying) Fuck you, Tetra
TO BE CONTINUED
Zunari: Hello
Link: Let me guess. Your crazy as shit too. What's your story. 你 live in a fucking freezer.
Zunari: Not really. When 你 look at all the psychopaths and idiots in this city, someone has to have some sanity
Link: Oh, okay. So, what's wrong with you
Zunari: Well, 你 see, I have this 安全 here, but, every time I close the store at night, someone always comes here and steals from me. It's maddening.
Link: so, wait, 你 just have this big 屁股 安全 lying in the open of your office, and pretty much anyone can steal it
Zunari: Well, yes, that's exactly it
Link: ................... Yeah, I'll help you
Zunari: Oh, that's great. Thanks, man.
(Later that night, at Zunari's Shop)
Tetra: .......... Link
Link: ............ Yes
Tetra: .......... You're gonna rob that guy aren't you
Link: Fuck yeah
Tetra: Link!
Link: No, I have had it with getting shit rewards. If it weren't for 你 getting on my fucking back this whole time, I wouldn't even be helping these people. I'd be killing their leader, and then ruling this place with an iron fist. But, no, I just go around helping people. So, I am doing what I want now. 你 can just shut the fuck up
Tetra: Fine. Do what 你 want. I won't stop 你 from taking the money.
Link: That's good (Walks into the shop, to see a girl stealing from the safe) Hey, stay away from that safe. This is my robbery.
Mila: (Turns) Who are you
Link: A guy who may just forget about hurting 你 because your attractive.
Mila: Please, I need this money. I am just a poor girl-
Link: A super hot one at that
Mila: -Who is trying to feed my family... and 由 family, I mean just my dad who's too lazy to work for money
Link: Wow, what a great father
Mila: Yes, I know. He sucks
Link: Well, I can't let 你 steal from this shop. But, I will pay you. I am like the Bill Gates of this world, so, I will just hand 你 whatever money I have
Mila: Really. Oh, thank 你 so much. How can I repay you
Link: Sex
Mila: Oh, yes
Link: Wait, really
Mila: Of course, anything for the man who helped me and kept me from becoming a criminal
Link: Awesome. So, what do 你 say we-
Tetra: But, Link, what about Medley
Link: What about here
Tetra: Aren't 你 two dating
Link: What?
Tetra: Yeah, she 说 she loved 你 a lot and all that
Mila: Oh... I see... Oh, thank you, ma'am. So sorry Link, I was about to get in the way of your relationship with Medley
Link: What, I don't love-
Tetra: Of course he does
Link: SHE'S A FUCKING BIRD GIRL!!!
Tetra: It's the inside that counts
Mila: Well, that's good to hear. I was about to get between 你 two. And just think, I was going to screw your brains out so hard, 你 would need a wheelchair. But, a thank 你 is good enough. Well, take care Link (Walks off)
Link: Tetra! I told 你 that Medley and me aren't dating
Tetra: I know. I just did that to fuck with you. Doing things your way. Fuck that
Link: DAMN 你 TETRAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Later that day)
Zunari: Hey, man, thanks so much for helping out
Link: (Crying) I was so close to losing my virginity
Tetra: He means you're welcome
Zunari: Anyway, here is my thanks to you. It is a partnership. From now on, we will share the money I make from this store
Link: (Crying) What good is money when you're still a virgin.
Tetra: Okay, this is kinda funny
Link: (Crying) Fuck you, Tetra
TO BE CONTINUED
So remember back when I reviewed Fable II that I liked both of the first Fable games and how I am not a true L337 Gamer as a result? Well, this is the other of the two Fable games, Fable the first, 或者 Fable: The 迷失 Chapters, as I have never played the original Fable, 或者 Anniversary for that matter.
Fable: The 迷失 Chapters has a story as unoriginal as the sequel. A young boy’s village is burned down and he goes to train and become a hero in a world where people need 超能英雄 to do things. As he goes about these tasks, he later gets involved with a quest that involves immortal deities,...
Back when I was going around to different movie rental places and libraries, I would always rent video games, and one of my most frequently rented games was the original Max Payne. I never played Max Payne 3 and only a few parts of Max Payne 2, so I don’t know what they are like, but after playing so much of the original Max Payne, I’m actually kind of curious to play those games.
Max Payne follows the character… Max Payne, a hard boiled New York detective with the most noir thing ever, dead family. As he investigates the new drug Valkyrie, he is framed for the murder of a fellow...
???: get in the car Dex
Dex: *gets in car* this is what the hell 你 do!
???: yep *starts driving*
Dex: I almost got killed 3 times!
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Both: holy shi*!
Dex: make that 4 times!
???: hold on!
*ERRRCH*
Dex: why the hell did 你 bring me along!?
???: 你 figured out!
Dex: that does not mean that 你 have to bring me with you!
???: in the 电影院 people usually want to tag
along!
Dex: why would 你 think I would want to tag along on a dangerous mission!?
???: I thought it would be a quick diplomat thing!
Dex: there are 10 guys chasing after us in sport cars!
???: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
Dex: *gets in car* this is what the hell 你 do!
???: yep *starts driving*
Dex: I almost got killed 3 times!
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Both: holy shi*!
Dex: make that 4 times!
???: hold on!
*ERRRCH*
Dex: why the hell did 你 bring me along!?
???: 你 figured out!
Dex: that does not mean that 你 have to bring me with you!
???: in the 电影院 people usually want to tag
along!
Dex: why would 你 think I would want to tag along on a dangerous mission!?
???: I thought it would be a quick diplomat thing!
Dex: there are 10 guys chasing after us in sport cars!
???: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
So when the PS4 finally came out, my funds were not nearly enough to just go out and buy one right away, which I was a little upset over, but whatever. But when I did get it, one game always stood out from the rest. One game that I wanted to try 更多 than any other game for the system, and that game was known only as Bloodborne.
Bloodborne takes place in the fictional Victorian town of Yharnam, where 你 play as a hunter on the Night of the Hunt, where the town is filled with monsters and crazed hunters out for blood. It starts out with hunting 狼人 and witches, but it isn’t long...
………… This isn’t what it looks like, I swear……… Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like, but trust me, this is in fact a horror game. Let me repeat that. This is, in fact, a horror game, a psychological horror game, that screws with 你 emotionally and mentally, and tricks 你 由 being something else… So does that mean I can review Doki Doki Literature Club without making myself look less anti-social.
…… Let me repeat myself, this is a horror game. Also, THIS ENTIRE 文章 IS A SPOILER FOR DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB! DO NOT READ THIS 文章 IF 你 PLAN ON READING...
continue reading...
…… Let me repeat myself, this is a horror game. Also, THIS ENTIRE 文章 IS A SPOILER FOR DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB! DO NOT READ THIS 文章 IF 你 PLAN ON READING...
