Song: link
Hawkeye: *Listening to the music* This is weird.
Carter: *Stops 下一个 to Hawkeye* Why? Just because it's from thirty years after your 显示 takes place?
Hawkeye: *Looks at Carter, and sees that he's in Union Pacific paint* When did our railroad get talking trains?
Twilight: 彩虹 Dash! How come 你 got your own show?!?!
彩虹 Dash: Because I'm not you! *Flies away*
Twilight: Not me? What's wrong with me?!!?
Spike: Have 你 seen yourself lately?
Tim: *Next to Thomas, eating popcorn* 你 want some?
Thomas: I know I'm a talking train, but I don't think I should eat that.
Tom: *Arrives* Well, isn't this nice? Tim, Tom, and Thomas. One of us is hosting this week. Guess who it is.
Tim: You.
Tom: You're good. Welcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Since 圣诞节 is coming up, we got a merry selection of stories for you. Our first segment will feature an episode from On The Block, and Gran Turismo. Then, the 秒 section features the 2013 story, How Gilda 偷了 Christmas. It's time to start with my show.
Tim: Typical.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 老友记 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Remember what I 说 last episode during the intro? Laugh!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well, you're certainly making them laugh.
Tom: I hope to keep it that way. Today's crossover parody, Assholes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: That's really what it's called. We're combining Kick 屁股 with Holes.
Audience: *Clapping*
Assholes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Stanley Yelnats IV
Cosmic 彩虹 as Hector "Zero"
Blaze as David "Dave" Lizewski / Kick 屁股
Saten Twist as Damon Macready / Big Daddy
Master Sword as Chris D'Amico / Red Mist
Heartsong as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl
Mortomis as Mr. Sir
Sunny as Louise Walker
Double Scoop as Dr. Pendanski
At Camp Greenlake, Stanley, and Zero were digging holes with other prisoners when...
Mr. Sir: *Bringing 更多 prisoners to the hole* See what they're doing?! That's what 你 need to do in order to build 更多 character.
David: I thought 你 were supposed to draw a character. Not build one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Sir: 你 assholes get into that hole, 或者 I'll kick your 屁股 in the asshole.
Audience: *Laughing*
David: Okay.
The new prisoners got in, and introduced themselves.
David: I'm David.
Damon: I'm Damon.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Mindy: I'm Mindy.
Stanley: Pretty generic introductions, but whatever.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hector: What did 你 get in trouble for?
David: Being superheroes.
Chris: They thought we were pretending.
David: And they didn't like my superhero name.
Stanley: What?
David: Kick ass.
Hector: Do 你 really kick ass.
David: Do 你 really wanna find out?
Audience: *Laughing*
Dr. Pendanski: *Arrives* 嘿 Zero, can 你 remember my name?
Hector: No. I'm leaving. *Runs away*
Damon: What's his problem?
Stanley: He's been getting insulted all of the time, because he doesn't know how to read.
Louise Walker: *Arrives* Where is Zero going?
Dr. Pendanski: I don't know. Who cares about him?
Stanley: I do. I'm going to save him. *Runs off*
Dr. Pendanski: Call in the guards.
David: Not so fast!
Then David, Chris, Damon, and Mindy got into their superhero costumes.
Mr. Sir: Wait a sec! You're not supposed to do that.
Kick Ass: And why not?
Mr. Sir: You're prisoners.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: Not anymore.
Louise Walker: *Sets Big Daddy on fire* Get back to being a hated actor Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: I don't know what you're talking about!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: *Punches Louise Walker*
Red Mist: *Kicks Mr. Sir*
Hit Girl: *Shoots Dr. Pendanski*
Kick Ass: What was that for?
Hit Girl: I thought we were supposed to kill them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: This is why female superheroes suck. They're clueless!
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Red Mist: Should we find Stanley, and Zero?
Kick Ass: No. He needs to save Zero, and do whatever it is he does in that movie. We have our own movie to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the 下一个 part of this episode, Sunny tries to hire a cleaning maid for her home.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 8: Beggers Can't Be Choosers (And Vice Versa)
Sunny: *Watching TV, and hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Mexican Mare: Hola, I am here for the cleaning job.
Sunny: Alright, let's start the interview.
Mexican Mare: No, no. Start it without me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: But you're supposed to be in it. Do 你 want the job?
Mexican Mare: No, I forgot why I came here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 remind me of somepony from some 显示 I used to watch, but I can't remember.
Mexican Mare: No, I don't remind 你 of anypony.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, get outta here.
Half an 小时 later.
Sunny: *Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on the PS4* I 爱情 the new first person view for this game. *Hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Annie: *Walks in*
Sunny: *Pauses game* Oh, Annie. How are you?
Annie: I'm good. I heard 你 needed somepony to help clean, so I decided to come down, and apply for the job.
Sunny: Perfect. I'll start the interview.
Annie: Why interview me? 你 know almost everything about me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, 你 got the job.
Audience: *Clapping*
Annie started to clean, while Sunny went back to playing GTA 5.
Sunny: *Flying an airplane*
Annie: *Sees 电视 set, and starts to clean the screen while Sunny plays the game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Can 你 clean that later? I have to drop off weapons to some ponies.
Annie: Can't 你 pause the game?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Ugh! *Pauses game. She grabs a 任天堂 3DS, and starts playing Pokemon*
Annie: *Finishes cleaning television, but starts to clean the 3DS*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: What are 你 doing?!
Annie: I have to clean your 3DS.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Clean something, that I'm not using. Okay?
Annie: Alright, fine. My god. *Goes to clean the bathroom*
Sunny: Finally. *Continues playing GTA 5*
A flushing noise was heard, but suddenly, water started coming out of the bathroom.
Sunny: What the f**k?!!?
Annie: I think your toilet is clogged!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 know what?! You're fired. 你 suck at this job.
Annie: What did I do wrong?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 know what? Just drown in there.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 彩虹 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Corporal Agarn was feeling bored, and decided to go see the Captain.
Captain Parmenter: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: I am sick, and tired of the army.
Captain Parmenter: What for?
Corporal Agarn: We're supposed to kill ponies right?
Captain Parmenter: Not necessarily. Only if they try to attack us.
Corporal Agarn: There's no action here! All we do is just stand around, watching for something that isn't even coming towards us, and hope that the 食物 is good. I'm just walking around in a circle, like a doughnut, with 果冻 inside it of course.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: If 你 were to leave the army, what would 你 do?
Corporal Agarn: I don't know, but I know for a fact, that I won't have to deal with Dobbs, and his terrible skills with the bugle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of Dobbs playing his bugle, that's exactly what he was doing.
Corporal Agarn: 你 see what I'm talking about?!
Captain Parmenter: Okay, so Dobbs is bad at playing at the bugle, but I'm not covinced about the no action thing happening.
Corporal Agarn: The last time somepony attacked us was two years ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks into office, and looks at Corporal Agarn* No sign of the enemy Captain!
Corporal Agarn: I'm Corporal Agarn Vanderbilt!
Corporal Vanderbilt: Ooh, Captain, I didn't know 你 did impressions.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm not impersonating anypony Vanderbilt. I'm over here.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks towards Captain Parmenter, walks into his desk, and falls on the ground*
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Are 你 alright Vanderbilt?
Vanderbilt: *Stands up* Yep. No sign of the enemy sir. *Walks away, and crashes into the door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: 你 see what I'm talking about here?!
Captain Parmenter: 你 better talk to the sarge about it.
Corporal Agarn: But you're the commanding officer!
Captain Parmenter: But the sarge is older then I am, and has 更多 knowledge on military regulations then I do.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: How does that work out?!
Audience: *Laughing*
So Agarn went to Sargent O' Rourke
Sargent O' Rourke: 你 can't leave the army. Not after the business we started.
Corporal Agarn: What business?
Sargent O' Rourke: O' Rourke Enterprises. We have so many valuables to sell, that we could be multimillionaires.
Corporal Agarn: What's a multimillionaire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't 你 stay in the army, and find out?
Corporal Agarn: Okay, I will.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Shoots ground near Corporal Agarn*
Corporal Agarn: What are 你 trying to do Vanderbilt?
Corporal Vanderbilt: Duffy 偷了 my money, and now I'm going to murder him.
Corporal Agarn: That would work, if he was an ant.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 号角 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 你 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game 显示 wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
彩虹 Dash as herself
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I'd like to once again remind our contestants that there are proper bathroom facilities located in the studio.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We have a real 谷仓 burner on our hooves.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: In the lead, we have 彩虹 Dash with negative $22,400, due to her arrogant behavior.
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: Hey, who are 你 calling arrogant?! I happen to be one of the nicest ponies ever!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: In 秒 place with negative $46,700 is Tom Selleck.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Holding pen like a microphone* I am a little slow Alex, but I think I will catch up with Double Jeopardy.
Alex: I see you've managed to let most of your money, runaway.
Tom: I'm sorry, what's that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. I was make a pun to the 标题 of your movie, Runaway.
Tom: I don't know what that is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The movie 你 were in, Runaway.
Tom: *Continues holding pen like microphone* Oh, haha. Ha, I still don't understand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Sees Tom holding pen like a microphone* That's fine. Oh, and Tom, that is a pen, not a microphone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: And, in last place with negative $69.. Oh brother, Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: Wooo!!! *Clapping*
Alex: *Notices Sean's score* Negative 69? Okay, that's not your score.
Sean: 69 is how I scored with your grand daughter last night.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: Let's just 移动 on to the categories for double jeopardy. They are...
Potent Potables
Sounds That 小猫 Make
Twinkle Twinkle Little Blank
Catch These Men
Alex: Every answer is a stallion on the FBI's most wanted list, so let's just forget that category. I'm not sure that would turn out well.
Sean: I turned out your grand daughter last night!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm ignoring you.
Sean: It's a prison term, it means I have her working as a prostitute for a job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm going to pretend I never heard that, and continue on with the rest of the categories for Double Jeopardy.
States That End In Hampshire
What Color Is Green
And Purple Alicorns
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash, let's start with you.
彩虹 Dash: Uh, potent potables, I don't know what that is.
Alex: It's about alcohol.
彩虹 Dash: Then in that case, I'll take potent potables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Surprised* For how much?
彩虹 Dash: How about a glass full? Come on, hand it over. I want some cider.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We don't have that.
彩虹 Dash: I thought so, that's why I brought my own. *Drinking cider*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Great. Fine. Okay, Tom, let's just go with you.
Tom: Well, where are we going?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No-nowhere. Pick a category.
Tom: Okay, I'll take 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For what category?
Tom: Video daily double.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I had such high hopes for you. Let's just do states that end in Hampshire for 200. This is the only state that ends in Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Rings in* South Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What is South Hampshire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no.
彩虹 Dash: *Rings in*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash.
彩虹 Dash: Hampshire England.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no. That's not in the United States.
彩虹 Dash: *Talks like an australian* I'm sorry govna, please get me 更多 cider. Can I have some more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No. Sean The Hedgehog, will 你 pick a category?
Sean: I'll take Catch The Semen for 800!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's not Catch The Semen.
Sean: Is that why your mane is white Trebek?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Tom Selleck, will 你 pick a category? And he has his hoof stuck in a 泡菜 jar.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Uh, it's on my hoof.
Alex: Where did 你 get that 泡菜 jar?
Tom: Uh, I wanted a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Tom Tom, let go of it.
Tom: *Grabs pickle, and let's go of jar*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, not the jar. Let go of the pickle.
Tom: But I want a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We can't keep playing if 你 don't let go of the pickle.
Sean: That's what your grand daughter 说 last night!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: 你 know what? 彩虹 Dash, 你 take the board.
彩虹 Dash: I am bored. I am bored!
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: Do ponies actually watch this show?
Alex: Yeah, it's pretty popular, and Tom Selleck is caught in a dry cleaning bag.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Can someone help him?
Tom: *Stuck in bag*
Alex: No one can help him?
Tom: *Gets out of bag, and rings in*
Alex: I didn't ask 你 anything yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's okay. Give me famous Chinese ponies for 200.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no category for chinese ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And there would never be anything that offensive.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Pat Merida?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: First of all, Pat Merida was japanese, not chinese.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Mel Gibson?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Good lord.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just 移动 onto final jeopardy. Nonsense words. Just write a series of letters. As long as it's not a word, 你 will win.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And as I am reasonably certain, that 你 will get this wrong, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.
The 钟, 贝尔 rang, and everypony ran out of time.
Alex: Let's see what rare gems our contestants have mined today.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash, let's see your nonsense word. Hoda Kotb. That's not a nonsense word. She's the co host of The Today Show.
彩虹 Dash: Kotb? That's a nonsense word. Where's the vowel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And 你 wagered.. 你 wagered that you'll be passed out in an hour.
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: *Talks with a southern accent* Yer darn tootin partner. I like cowboys.
Alex: Great. Tom Selleck, let's see what 你 wrote down... Wait, Tom Selleck just disappeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: No, he was never here.
Alex: Yes he was.
Sean: No he wasn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Alright then, let's see what 你 wrote down. IOISSSB.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. That is a nonsense word. Judges? Yes, this counts as a nonsense word.
Sean: Well, I thought 你 could use it friend.
Alex: Well, thank you. Thank 你 Sean.
Sean: You're welcome.
Alex: Let's see what my friend, Sean wagered.
IOISSSB turned out to be part of a drawing Sean made of himself taking a shit on Alex Trebek's grave.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: If I am looking at that correctly, that is 你 letting out a number 2 on my grave.
Sean: It was right after I had sex with your grand daughter Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, that's it. Show's over, good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
屁股 屁股 Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring 彩虹 Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic 彩虹 as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Idea for this skit 由 Purrloinedlove.
Mercury was sitting with Marisa at a table.
Mercury: I've been looking 前锋, 期待 to this for a long time Ms. Sayers.
Marisa: Me too.
Mercury: It's about time we got in 床, 床上 together.
Marisa: I agree.
Mercury: And once we get in bed, I'm gonna roast marshmallows, sing campfire songs, and play parcheesi with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: I know. I'm really looking 前锋, 期待 to our camping trip.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lloyd: *Walks over to Mercury*
Marisa: Wait your turn Lloyd.
Lloyd: I came here to get a job from Mercury. I have plenty of time to do the "other" thing here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Alright. This job I have for 你 maybe confusing.
Lloyd: Surprise me.
Mercury: There's this 小马 that has a destroyed house. He prefers to live in it the way it is. Broken windows, chipping paint, and no electricity for watching television.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: 你 have just surprised me, and I am confused.
Mercury: That's why I'm the best boss around.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd went down into Compton where the 小马 living in the destroyed house was located. Some workers were trying to repair the house, but they were getting shot at 由 the 小马 living in the damaged house. He was using an UMP45 SMG.
House Pony: I don't want anypony to repair my house! I am Mr. Fail, and I will not succeed at anything!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: Then let's see if 你 can fail at life. *Aiming 步枪 at Mr. Fail*
Workers: Sir, please let us fix your house.
Mr. Fail: *Shoots 更多 workers* I will fail at having my house fixed!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Pulls trigger*
Mr. Fail: *Gets shot*
Lloyd got away before anypony could see him with the gun.
Back at the 屁股 屁股 Inn.
Marisa: I know we've been planning this for a long time, but I have to 取消 our camping trip.
George: What?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: Your boss Mercury gave me a better deal. I'm sorry, but I could give 你 a private 显示 for free.
George: Fine 由 me. What are we watching?
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Walks towards Mercury* Mr. Fail has been assassinated.
Mercury: Excellent. Here's 20 grand. Make it last.
Lloyd: *Takes money* I appreciate it sir. Thank you.
Aina was 写作 down a 圣诞节 list.
Aina: Dear Santa Claus, even though everypony calls this holiday Hearths Warming Eve, I want to remember this as Christmas.
Audience: *Cheering*
Aina: On the 下一个 episode of this show, I want everything to be related to Christmas. The crossover parody, a few of the skits, and I want Master Sword, and Tom Foolery to be dressed like 你 during the intro.
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: As for my presents, I only have one gift that I want, and that is a new set of headphones. I like Dr. Dre's beats, so could I have a pair of those in red? Thanks a lot. Sincerely, Aina.
Master Sword: *Walks in* That's a shitty 圣诞节 list!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Sad* Why?
Master Sword: 你 need to have 更多 then one thing 你 want for Hearths Warming Eve!
Aina: It's Christmas.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: And you're even trying to change the name of this glorious holiday. What is the matter with you?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Cries, and runs away*
Master Sword: *Writes down his Hearths Warming Eve list* Dear Santa, this letter is from a friend of Aina, but keep in mind that she is an idiot, and has no clue about the true meaning of this holiday.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I want a brand new laptop, a golden watch, a suit with a tie, and hat to go with it, a DVD with the first season of The Streets Of San Franciscolt on it, a box of legos, and a Glock 17.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Smith & Wesson is crap, unless it's a 500, 或者 a .44.
Audience: *Laughing*
After 写作 down his 圣诞节 list, Master Sword went to the nearest mailbox, so he could send his letter to Santa.
Master Sword: *About to put his letter in the mailbox*
Mortomis: *Pops out of the mailbox* Hi there!
Master Sword: AH!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: What are 你 doing in there?
Mortomis: Playing hide & seek with Tom.
Master Sword: You're not exactly hiding with your head sticking out of there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: I was checking to make sure he was not anywhere near me.
Tom: *Arrives* Found 你 Mortomis.
Mortomis: *Glaring at Master Sword*
Master Sword: You're not going to do what I think you're going to do... Are you?
Mortomis: 你 just f**ked up big time! *Dives onto Master Sword*
Tom: *Looks at Audience* Well, so much for no violence.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's all the time we have for today. See 你 in the 下一个 episode.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
Song: link
Tom: And now, for Gran Turismo. Guess who's a special guest 星, 星级 in this episode.
Tim: You.
Tom: That's right.
Tim: Guess who else gets killed 由 me. You.
Tom: oh..right..
What to expect in this episode.
Twilight Sparkle: *In a black 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!
---
Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.
---
Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.
---
Tim: *Gets punched three times 由 a blue unicorn. He gets punched one 更多 time, and his glasses break*
Intro
Song: link
Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*
Gran Turismo
Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
彩虹 Dash as Julia Rose
Tim: *Talks on the radio*
Julia: *Increases speed in the car while turning on the police lights*
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Red Velvet from Dragonaura15
Song: link
Canterlot, 6:50 AM
The sun was just rising as a convoy left Canterlot. In the convoy was a Lincoln, two Chryslers, and a 1954 Cadillac convertible. Each car was shiny, and black, and Twilight's in the Cadillac. The front of that car has two purple flags with her cutie mark on it.
Episode 3: 圣诞节 Trees And Assassinations
Special Guest Stars, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna as theirselves.
SeanTheHedgehog's Tom Foolery as Brett Flasch
In Gran Turismo, everypony heard that Twilight Sparkle was coming to visit.
Tim: *Listening to the radio inside his car as he drives to his police barracks to get started with work for the day*
News Pony: I'm afraid that there is some controversy going over a decision Twilight Sparkle made yesterday. She has decided to change the name of Hearth's Warming Eve to Christmas. The name is different, but the holiday is not. However, dozens of ponies have shared their disinterest in this, violently.
A little while later, the convoy entered Gran Turismo. This time, two state troopers were at the front, and back of the convoy. The song starts to fade away as ponies cheer for Twilight.
Brett: *Holding a sniper rifle*
Twilight Sparkle: *Laughing with two Royal Guards
Brett: *Aims his rifle, and fires a bullet, but it hits the door near one of the Royal Guards*
Ponies: *Running away*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!
Twilight: Ah! *Ducks*
The convoy started to go faster.
Brett: *Fires two 更多 bullets*
Royal Guard 2: Where are those shots coming from?
Royal Guard: I don't know. Don't slow down until those shots stop being fired.
Brett: Dammit! *Running out of the building*
Toby: *Nearby on patrol with Red in a brand new Caprice police car*
Brett: *Gets in his car, and drives away*
Toby: *Spots Brett, and sees the sniper rifle* Red, see that 步枪 in his car?
Red: Yes.
Toby: Did 你 hear about that assassination attempt on Twilight just now?
Red: 你 don't suppose-
Toby: I do. *Puts on his sirens*
Brett: *Floors it*
Toby: *Follows Brett*
Brett: I need car chase music. *Looking for the right 音乐 to play on the radio*
Song (Start it at 0:05): link
Brett: Ah, to hell with it. This is good enough.
Red: *On the walkie talkie* That's right, he's going down Byer Lane right now. The road with the train tracks on them.
Brett: *Getting distracted 由 the music*
Engineer: *Hits Brett's car with a train, then stops his train*
Stop the song.
Brett: Well, that escalated quickly. Good thing the train was going slow. *Teleports out of his car*
Toby: What the hell? He just used magic to get out of that car.
Red: Now what do we do?
Toby: That blue unicorn could still be in Gran Turismo. If he wants to kill Twilight Sparkle, there's no doubt he's gonna stay here to try again. We need to tell the Captain.
Tim was in the briefing room with the rest of his 老友记 when Captain Jefferson started talking.
Captain Jefferson: Twilight Sparkle has some business to take care of here, but unfortunately, someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town. Toby and Red spotted the suspect while out on patrol earlier.
Tim: Did the 小马 that tried to kill Twilight escape?
Captain Jefferson: Yes. He used magic to get out of his car. Now visiting us is Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna. They have something to tell us.
Celestia: *Walks in the room with Luna*
Ponies: *Clapping*
Celestia: Thank 你 for your warm welcome.
Luna: I just wish Twilight got the same welcoming we got.
Celestia: We have been doing some research, and we believe our suspect is Brett Flasch.
Luna: He's a member of ISIS, and helped over thirty North Koreans sneak into Equestria.
Julia: This guy sounds like bad news.
Celestia: Of course he does. He fits the 描述 Toby and Red gave of the 小马 they were chasing. Blue unicorn, brown mane, and 橙子, 橙色 eyes.
Captain Jefferson: I was going to tell them that.
Celestia: Oh, forgive me. Now, I do have one request. With your captain's permission, I want one of 你 to watch over Twilight until Brett, 或者 whoever the suspect is, is captured.
Toby: *Nervous*
Tim: *Looking at Toby, and smiles*
Julia: *Smirks* I think Toby would be the best choice for this assignment Celestia.
Celestia: Thank you. Toby, please stand up.
Toby: *Stands up*
Celestia: *Walks towards him* What is your last name?
Toby: Linnehan.
Celestia: 你 understand that this task is very important. Correct?
Toby: Yes ma'am, I do.
Celestia: If anything bad happens to her, it's on you, and you'll be arrested for twenty years for treason.
Toby: Celestia, 你 can count on me to protect Twilight Sparkle.
Celestia: Good. Here she comes now.
Twilight: *Walks into the room* Hello everypony.
Ponies: *Clapping*
Toby: *Sweating* Hi Twilight.
Tim: *Whispers to Julia* What have 你 done to him?
Julia: *Whispers back* I saw the look in his eyes.
Tim: What look?
Julia: The look of love. Can 你 do me a favor?
Tim: What?
Julia: Can I come over to your house, and talk with you?
Tim: Sure.
Later that day, Tim and Julia rode to Tim's house. His house was close to the Round Freeway on the northern part of town.
Tim: *Stops in his Viper*
Julia: *Stops behind him on her motorcycle*
Tim: *Gets out of his car, and watches Julia get off her motorcycle* Let's go inside. *Walks with Julia into his house* So what do 你 want to talk about?
Julia: I need help getting a 圣诞节 Tree.
Tim: Are 你 having trouble looking for one?
Julia: *Sadly nods* I really need one.
Tim: Real, 或者 fake?
Julia: I don't care, I just want one.
Tim: Why don't 你 try Ponyville? It's just south of us.
Julia: Is that where 你 got yours?
Tim: Yeah. Tomorrow, after we're off duty, I'll take 你 into Ponyville, and we'll get 你 a 圣诞节 Tree. Okay?
Julia: *Happy* Okay.
Toby's house was 下一个 to a gunshop, across the 街, 街道 from Shadow Lake.
Toby: *Parks his brand new Chrysler 200 in front of his house* Okay Princess, out we go.
Twilight: *Steps out of the car*
Toby: *Walks with Twilight to his house* Did 你 enjoy the ride?
Twilight: Yes. I felt very relaxed.
Toby: Good. I bet 你 your Cadillac is still better to ride in. *Opens the door for her*
Twilight: *Walks inside* Yes, but I wouldn't mind having a 200. We have 300's, but I want a car just like yours.
They sit down at a table.
Toby: So what kind of business are 你 doing here?
Twilight: Business related to terrorists, and how to put an end to it.
Toby: It's about time we stopped them.
Twilight: But I'm afraid that's what caused somepony to try and shoot me earlier today, and if not, why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.
Twilight: And in Canterlot, they're also trying to hurt me, because I changed Hearth's Warming Eve to Christmas.
Toby: Uh Princess, may I tell 你 something?
Twilight: Yeah?
Toby: *Nervous* I, uh,.. want 你 to make yourself comfortable.
Twilight: *Smirking* There's something else 你 want to tell me, is there?
Toby: Would 你 like to, uh... *Sweating* Go out on a 日期 sometime?
Twilight: *Giggles* Is that why 你 were nervous? I'd 爱情 to go out with you.
Toby: Great. Tomorrow, at 6?
Twilight: Yes.
Tim and Julia were on patrol at the docks.
Julia: *Turns left at the docks*
Tim: Have 你 decided what kind of 圣诞节 树 你 wanted?
Julia: Something big, and fat.
Tim: I'll bet. Our shift ends in five minutes, so we'll go into Ponyville to find one of those.
Julia: *Turns left, and passes a police station, 火, 消防 house, and hospital*
A brand new Impala in light blue passed them.
Tim: Double line.
Julia: Yeah, I know. *Turns on the police lights*
Stallion 94: *Pulls over*
Julia: *Stops behind the car, and goes out to talk to the driver*
Tim: GT24, pulling over a light blue Chevrolet for passing on a double line on Green Drive, license Adam, 4, 4, Lincoln, Sam, Henry.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Julia: *Looking at the driver* May I see your driver's license and registration please?
Stallion 94: Yeah yeah. *Gives Julia his driver's license and registration* I know what I did was wrong.
Julia: Why'd 你 do it?
Stallion 94: I'm in a hurry. My boss let me out late, and I have to pick up my son from daycare.
Julia: *Gives the stallion his license and registration back, along with a ticket* 你 know? *Leans on the door near the stallion* This car is sexy. Keep it that way.
Stallion 94: *Smiles* Yes ma'am.
Julia: Merry Christmas. *Walks away*
Stallion: Happy Hearth's Warming Eve.
Julia: *Drives away* 你 know what? I changed my mind. The 树 I want is tall, and handsome.
Tim: Were 你 flirting with that guy?
Julia: Haha. What do 你 think?
Tim: I don't think I'm gonna answer that question.
Meanwhile, Brett was talking to fifty North Koreans. Their current location is unknown.
Brett: Gentlecolts. In fifteen hours, at precisely 6 in the morning, Twilight Sparkle will be ours. Have 你 got the bomb ready?
North Korean Ponies: Yes.
Brett: I'm glad to hear that. I found a building in Gran Turismo that will be suitable for Twilight's death. If we blow it up, it will destroy a nearby gas station, and during our process of murdering Twilight Sparkle, we will also make Equestria lose precious gasoline.
North Korean Ponies: *Cheering*
Brett: This new town in Equestria will quickly have a terrible history. Let's make it happen!!
North Korean Ponies: *Cheering*
The 下一个 morning at Toby's house, Toby was getting ready to go to work.
Toby: That was a great time we had yesterday.
Twilight: Yes. I want to do that again tonight. This time, invite your 老友记 Tim, and Julia.
Toby: Okay. *Goes to the door, but looks at Twilight before he leaves* Remember, if you're in any kind of trouble, and 你 can't use your magic, try to make a phone call to my Captain, 或者 Princess Celestia.
Twilight: I won't forget Toby. Thank you.
Toby: You're welcome. *Walks out of the house*
Brett: *In the back with two North Koreans*
Twilight: *Preparing herself a bowl of cereal*
Brett: **Walks into the house, and uses magic to make Twilight fall asleep* Put her in the car.
North Korean Ponies: Yes sir. *Grabbing Twilight Sparkle, and taking her out of the house with Brett*
They put Twilight in a dark blue Mercedes-Benz, and drove away. The building they were going to was a five story apartment building in the northern section of Gran Turismo. It's the same place Brett was in where he tried to assassinate Twilight earlier in this episode.
Brett: We have to wait for the others. Meanwhile, kill every hostage in this building.
North Koreans: *Walking into the buildings with AK47's*
Brett: *Using magic to get Twilight out of the car. He hears shots being fired from the North Koreans*
Julia: *Driving her police car with Tim sitting 下一个 to her. She turns right onto Green Drive and passes a railroad crossing, and goes under the highway*
Dispatch: Units near Byer Lane, there's a 报道 of shots being fired at Golita Apartments. Use caution, repeat use caution.
Tim: That's near my house.
Julia: Wanna check it out?
Tim: We have to.
Julia: But we're not near Byer Lane.
Tim: Just go there anyway.
Julia: *Driving as fast as she can to the apartment building*
Tim: *Listening to the radio*
Police Pony: This is GT15, I spotted the suspects- *Shots are heard* Aaah!!!
Police 小马 2: Officer down, suspects have opened 火, 消防 on us!
Julia: 你 sure 你 wanna go through with this?
Tim: Let's take the back entrance.
Dispatch: Attention all units, we got an update on the suspects in the Golita Apartments. They have Twilight Sparkle as a hostage.
Julia: *Stops her car at the back of the apartment*
Tim: GT24, we're entering the apartment from the back. Request permission to engage any suspects with our guns.
Dispatch: Ten-4, but only if they 火, 消防 at you.
Julia: Let's do this buddy.
Tim: *Goes to the door, and opens it*
North Korean Pony: *Shooting at them*
Tim: *Closes the door so he, and Julia won't get shot. He opens the door, and returns fire*
North Korean Pony: *Falls down*
Tim: *Walks to him* Where's Twilight Sparkle?
North Korean Pony: In the basement with Brett.
Julia: Thanks. *Arresting the pony*
North Korean Pony: There's another thing 你 need to know. Brett has Twilight strapped to a bomb.
Julia: Do 你 have any experience in disarming a bomb?
Tim: I remember learning a few things about it.
Julia: I'm gonna call for back up, and a bomb squad.
Tim: Right. I'll go find Twilight, and see if I can get her away from the bomb. *Runs downstairs*
Julia: Be careful!
Tim was running downstairs in an attempt to find Twilight.
Tim: *Finds Twilight tied to a chair. Her horn and wings have been removed* There 你 are. *Runs towards her*
Twilight: Look out!
Brett: *Appears behind Tim, and throws a knife*
Tim: *Ducks to avoid being hit 由 the knife*
Brett: Don't 你 dare try to help Twilight. She needs to be killed for her crimes against the Islamic State.
Tim: *Grabs his gun*
Brett: *Using magic to make the gun disappear*
Tim: *Runs towards Brett and knocks him down*
Julia: *Outside, on the radio calling for backup* Please hurry. That bomb needs to be disarmed.
Dispatch: Ten-4, we're sending a swat team with a bomb squad.
Brett: *Using magic to activate the bomb*
The timer began at 10:00.
Tim: *Punches Brett's horn off of his head*
Brett: *Stands up, picks up Tim, and kicks him onto the ground*
Twilight: *Gasp* Tim, be careful.
Brett: *Picks up Tim again, and punches him three times.
Tim: *Spits blood onto Brett's face*
Brett: *Punches Tim one 更多 time, and his glasses break*
Tim: *Looks at his broken glasses, and punches Brett onto the floor*
Brett: Ah! *Grabs a Desert Eagle*
Tim: *Dives onto Brett, and makes him drop the gun*
Brett: *Running for the gun*
Tim: *Trips Brett, and runs over him, getting the gun*
Brett: *Pushes Tim down*
Tim: *Turns around and shoots Brett twice in the face*
Twilight: Now quick, defuse this bomb!
Tim: *Looks at the bomb* I'm afraid I don't know how to do that.
Song: link
The swat team and bomb squad arrived.
Julia: Let's go! *Runs inside with the Swat Team and Bomb Squad*
North Koreans: *Firing at Julia and the other ponies*
Swat Team: *Returns fire*
North Korean: *Lets out a Wilhelm Scream as he falls down the stairs to the basement*
Tim: *Spots the North Korean that fell down the stairs*
North Koreans: *Backing down the stairs while shooting at the police ponies*
Police Ponies: *Shooting them*
The song fades away as they all get killed.
Tim: Come on over here, we gotta defuse this bomb!
Bomb Squad Pony: *Arrives, and examines the bomb. He takes the lid off* As I suspected.
Bomb Squad 小马 2: Everypony get out of here while we defuse this.
Swat Pony: We'll get everypony upstairs. 你 two get Twilight to safety.
Tim: No problem. *Frees Twilight*
Twilight: *Stands up* Thank 你 so much. *Goes upstairs with Tim and Julia*
When they got to their police car, Toby and Red arrived.
Tim: What took 你 two so long?
Toby: Traffic control on the round freeway.
Red: What happened to your glasses?
Tim: They were broken.
Toby: And what about Brett Flasch?
Tim: He's dead.
Twilight: Oh, that reminds me. Would 你 and Julia like to 加入 me and Toby for 晚餐 tonight?
Tim: Yeah, what do 你 say Julia?
Julia: I'd 爱情 to.
And now we're at the ending credits. Song: link
When 你 read the ending credits between the dialogue, the characters pause in place.
Toby & Twilight: *Walking into a restaurant*
Waiter: *Walks them to their table*
Toby & Twilight: *Sees Tim and Julia sitting at their table*
Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
彩虹 Dash as Julia Rose
Tim & Julia: *Smiling and waving hello*
Toby & Twilight: *Sitting down*
Toby: I have to be honest, I thought 你 two wouldn't 显示 up until late.
Tim: What makes 你 say that?
Twilight: Weren't 你 two looking for a 圣诞节 tree?
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Julia: I already got one. Turns out, that a cousin of mine sent me the 树 while I was on duty.
Tim: Was it tall and handsome like that 小马 你 were flirting with yesterday?
Julia: The one with the Impala?
Tim: Yeah, that pony.
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
Tim: *Laughing* 你 know what he did to you?
Julia: What?
Tim: *Continues laughing* He actually pressed charges against 你 for sexual harassment.
Red Velvet from DragonAura15
Toby & Twilight: Ooh.
Waiter: *Arrives* Are 你 four ready to order?
Toby: *Looking at Julia blush with embarrasment* Uh, we may need a few 更多 分钟 here.
Tim: *Laughing*
Police cars furnished 由 Nissan, BMW, and Chevrolet
Julia: All I did was tell him he had a sexy car. How is that sexual harrassment?
Tim: You'll have to ask Captain Jefferson about that tomorrow. He found out about it after 你 left today.
摩托车 furnished 由 Kawasaki
Twilight: 由 the way Julia, 你 look a lot like one of my friends, 彩虹 Dash.
Tim: Hey, she's right, 你 do.
Julia: I've got no idea what you're talking about.
The End
Gran Turismo, A SeanTheHedgehog & Dragonaura15 Production
Song: link
Tom: Well, that wraps up part 1. Come back at 8:30 to see How Gilda 偷了 Christmas.
Hawkeye: *Listening to the music* This is weird.
Carter: *Stops 下一个 to Hawkeye* Why? Just because it's from thirty years after your 显示 takes place?
Hawkeye: *Looks at Carter, and sees that he's in Union Pacific paint* When did our railroad get talking trains?
Twilight: 彩虹 Dash! How come 你 got your own show?!?!
彩虹 Dash: Because I'm not you! *Flies away*
Twilight: Not me? What's wrong with me?!!?
Spike: Have 你 seen yourself lately?
Tim: *Next to Thomas, eating popcorn* 你 want some?
Thomas: I know I'm a talking train, but I don't think I should eat that.
Tom: *Arrives* Well, isn't this nice? Tim, Tom, and Thomas. One of us is hosting this week. Guess who it is.
Tim: You.
Tom: You're good. Welcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Since 圣诞节 is coming up, we got a merry selection of stories for you. Our first segment will feature an episode from On The Block, and Gran Turismo. Then, the 秒 section features the 2013 story, How Gilda 偷了 Christmas. It's time to start with my show.
Tim: Typical.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 老友记 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Remember what I 说 last episode during the intro? Laugh!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well, you're certainly making them laugh.
Tom: I hope to keep it that way. Today's crossover parody, Assholes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: That's really what it's called. We're combining Kick 屁股 with Holes.
Audience: *Clapping*
Assholes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Stanley Yelnats IV
Cosmic 彩虹 as Hector "Zero"
Blaze as David "Dave" Lizewski / Kick 屁股
Saten Twist as Damon Macready / Big Daddy
Master Sword as Chris D'Amico / Red Mist
Heartsong as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl
Mortomis as Mr. Sir
Sunny as Louise Walker
Double Scoop as Dr. Pendanski
At Camp Greenlake, Stanley, and Zero were digging holes with other prisoners when...
Mr. Sir: *Bringing 更多 prisoners to the hole* See what they're doing?! That's what 你 need to do in order to build 更多 character.
David: I thought 你 were supposed to draw a character. Not build one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Sir: 你 assholes get into that hole, 或者 I'll kick your 屁股 in the asshole.
Audience: *Laughing*
David: Okay.
The new prisoners got in, and introduced themselves.
David: I'm David.
Damon: I'm Damon.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Mindy: I'm Mindy.
Stanley: Pretty generic introductions, but whatever.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hector: What did 你 get in trouble for?
David: Being superheroes.
Chris: They thought we were pretending.
David: And they didn't like my superhero name.
Stanley: What?
David: Kick ass.
Hector: Do 你 really kick ass.
David: Do 你 really wanna find out?
Audience: *Laughing*
Dr. Pendanski: *Arrives* 嘿 Zero, can 你 remember my name?
Hector: No. I'm leaving. *Runs away*
Damon: What's his problem?
Stanley: He's been getting insulted all of the time, because he doesn't know how to read.
Louise Walker: *Arrives* Where is Zero going?
Dr. Pendanski: I don't know. Who cares about him?
Stanley: I do. I'm going to save him. *Runs off*
Dr. Pendanski: Call in the guards.
David: Not so fast!
Then David, Chris, Damon, and Mindy got into their superhero costumes.
Mr. Sir: Wait a sec! You're not supposed to do that.
Kick Ass: And why not?
Mr. Sir: You're prisoners.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: Not anymore.
Louise Walker: *Sets Big Daddy on fire* Get back to being a hated actor Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: I don't know what you're talking about!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: *Punches Louise Walker*
Red Mist: *Kicks Mr. Sir*
Hit Girl: *Shoots Dr. Pendanski*
Kick Ass: What was that for?
Hit Girl: I thought we were supposed to kill them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: This is why female superheroes suck. They're clueless!
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Red Mist: Should we find Stanley, and Zero?
Kick Ass: No. He needs to save Zero, and do whatever it is he does in that movie. We have our own movie to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the 下一个 part of this episode, Sunny tries to hire a cleaning maid for her home.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 8: Beggers Can't Be Choosers (And Vice Versa)
Sunny: *Watching TV, and hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Mexican Mare: Hola, I am here for the cleaning job.
Sunny: Alright, let's start the interview.
Mexican Mare: No, no. Start it without me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: But you're supposed to be in it. Do 你 want the job?
Mexican Mare: No, I forgot why I came here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 remind me of somepony from some 显示 I used to watch, but I can't remember.
Mexican Mare: No, I don't remind 你 of anypony.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, get outta here.
Half an 小时 later.
Sunny: *Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on the PS4* I 爱情 the new first person view for this game. *Hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Annie: *Walks in*
Sunny: *Pauses game* Oh, Annie. How are you?
Annie: I'm good. I heard 你 needed somepony to help clean, so I decided to come down, and apply for the job.
Sunny: Perfect. I'll start the interview.
Annie: Why interview me? 你 know almost everything about me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, 你 got the job.
Audience: *Clapping*
Annie started to clean, while Sunny went back to playing GTA 5.
Sunny: *Flying an airplane*
Annie: *Sees 电视 set, and starts to clean the screen while Sunny plays the game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Can 你 clean that later? I have to drop off weapons to some ponies.
Annie: Can't 你 pause the game?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Ugh! *Pauses game. She grabs a 任天堂 3DS, and starts playing Pokemon*
Annie: *Finishes cleaning television, but starts to clean the 3DS*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: What are 你 doing?!
Annie: I have to clean your 3DS.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Clean something, that I'm not using. Okay?
Annie: Alright, fine. My god. *Goes to clean the bathroom*
Sunny: Finally. *Continues playing GTA 5*
A flushing noise was heard, but suddenly, water started coming out of the bathroom.
Sunny: What the f**k?!!?
Annie: I think your toilet is clogged!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 know what?! You're fired. 你 suck at this job.
Annie: What did I do wrong?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 你 know what? Just drown in there.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 彩虹 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Corporal Agarn was feeling bored, and decided to go see the Captain.
Captain Parmenter: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: I am sick, and tired of the army.
Captain Parmenter: What for?
Corporal Agarn: We're supposed to kill ponies right?
Captain Parmenter: Not necessarily. Only if they try to attack us.
Corporal Agarn: There's no action here! All we do is just stand around, watching for something that isn't even coming towards us, and hope that the 食物 is good. I'm just walking around in a circle, like a doughnut, with 果冻 inside it of course.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: If 你 were to leave the army, what would 你 do?
Corporal Agarn: I don't know, but I know for a fact, that I won't have to deal with Dobbs, and his terrible skills with the bugle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of Dobbs playing his bugle, that's exactly what he was doing.
Corporal Agarn: 你 see what I'm talking about?!
Captain Parmenter: Okay, so Dobbs is bad at playing at the bugle, but I'm not covinced about the no action thing happening.
Corporal Agarn: The last time somepony attacked us was two years ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks into office, and looks at Corporal Agarn* No sign of the enemy Captain!
Corporal Agarn: I'm Corporal Agarn Vanderbilt!
Corporal Vanderbilt: Ooh, Captain, I didn't know 你 did impressions.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm not impersonating anypony Vanderbilt. I'm over here.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks towards Captain Parmenter, walks into his desk, and falls on the ground*
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Are 你 alright Vanderbilt?
Vanderbilt: *Stands up* Yep. No sign of the enemy sir. *Walks away, and crashes into the door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: 你 see what I'm talking about here?!
Captain Parmenter: 你 better talk to the sarge about it.
Corporal Agarn: But you're the commanding officer!
Captain Parmenter: But the sarge is older then I am, and has 更多 knowledge on military regulations then I do.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: How does that work out?!
Audience: *Laughing*
So Agarn went to Sargent O' Rourke
Sargent O' Rourke: 你 can't leave the army. Not after the business we started.
Corporal Agarn: What business?
Sargent O' Rourke: O' Rourke Enterprises. We have so many valuables to sell, that we could be multimillionaires.
Corporal Agarn: What's a multimillionaire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't 你 stay in the army, and find out?
Corporal Agarn: Okay, I will.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Shoots ground near Corporal Agarn*
Corporal Agarn: What are 你 trying to do Vanderbilt?
Corporal Vanderbilt: Duffy 偷了 my money, and now I'm going to murder him.
Corporal Agarn: That would work, if he was an ant.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 号角 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 你 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game 显示 wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
彩虹 Dash as herself
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I'd like to once again remind our contestants that there are proper bathroom facilities located in the studio.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We have a real 谷仓 burner on our hooves.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: In the lead, we have 彩虹 Dash with negative $22,400, due to her arrogant behavior.
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: Hey, who are 你 calling arrogant?! I happen to be one of the nicest ponies ever!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: In 秒 place with negative $46,700 is Tom Selleck.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Holding pen like a microphone* I am a little slow Alex, but I think I will catch up with Double Jeopardy.
Alex: I see you've managed to let most of your money, runaway.
Tom: I'm sorry, what's that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. I was make a pun to the 标题 of your movie, Runaway.
Tom: I don't know what that is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The movie 你 were in, Runaway.
Tom: *Continues holding pen like microphone* Oh, haha. Ha, I still don't understand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Sees Tom holding pen like a microphone* That's fine. Oh, and Tom, that is a pen, not a microphone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: And, in last place with negative $69.. Oh brother, Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: Wooo!!! *Clapping*
Alex: *Notices Sean's score* Negative 69? Okay, that's not your score.
Sean: 69 is how I scored with your grand daughter last night.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: Let's just 移动 on to the categories for double jeopardy. They are...
Potent Potables
Sounds That 小猫 Make
Twinkle Twinkle Little Blank
Catch These Men
Alex: Every answer is a stallion on the FBI's most wanted list, so let's just forget that category. I'm not sure that would turn out well.
Sean: I turned out your grand daughter last night!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm ignoring you.
Sean: It's a prison term, it means I have her working as a prostitute for a job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm going to pretend I never heard that, and continue on with the rest of the categories for Double Jeopardy.
States That End In Hampshire
What Color Is Green
And Purple Alicorns
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash, let's start with you.
彩虹 Dash: Uh, potent potables, I don't know what that is.
Alex: It's about alcohol.
彩虹 Dash: Then in that case, I'll take potent potables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Surprised* For how much?
彩虹 Dash: How about a glass full? Come on, hand it over. I want some cider.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We don't have that.
彩虹 Dash: I thought so, that's why I brought my own. *Drinking cider*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Great. Fine. Okay, Tom, let's just go with you.
Tom: Well, where are we going?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No-nowhere. Pick a category.
Tom: Okay, I'll take 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For what category?
Tom: Video daily double.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I had such high hopes for you. Let's just do states that end in Hampshire for 200. This is the only state that ends in Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Rings in* South Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What is South Hampshire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no.
彩虹 Dash: *Rings in*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash.
彩虹 Dash: Hampshire England.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no. That's not in the United States.
彩虹 Dash: *Talks like an australian* I'm sorry govna, please get me 更多 cider. Can I have some more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No. Sean The Hedgehog, will 你 pick a category?
Sean: I'll take Catch The Semen for 800!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's not Catch The Semen.
Sean: Is that why your mane is white Trebek?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Tom Selleck, will 你 pick a category? And he has his hoof stuck in a 泡菜 jar.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Uh, it's on my hoof.
Alex: Where did 你 get that 泡菜 jar?
Tom: Uh, I wanted a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Tom Tom, let go of it.
Tom: *Grabs pickle, and let's go of jar*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, not the jar. Let go of the pickle.
Tom: But I want a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We can't keep playing if 你 don't let go of the pickle.
Sean: That's what your grand daughter 说 last night!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: 你 know what? 彩虹 Dash, 你 take the board.
彩虹 Dash: I am bored. I am bored!
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: Do ponies actually watch this show?
Alex: Yeah, it's pretty popular, and Tom Selleck is caught in a dry cleaning bag.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Can someone help him?
Tom: *Stuck in bag*
Alex: No one can help him?
Tom: *Gets out of bag, and rings in*
Alex: I didn't ask 你 anything yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's okay. Give me famous Chinese ponies for 200.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no category for chinese ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And there would never be anything that offensive.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Pat Merida?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: First of all, Pat Merida was japanese, not chinese.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Mel Gibson?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Good lord.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just 移动 onto final jeopardy. Nonsense words. Just write a series of letters. As long as it's not a word, 你 will win.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And as I am reasonably certain, that 你 will get this wrong, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.
The 钟, 贝尔 rang, and everypony ran out of time.
Alex: Let's see what rare gems our contestants have mined today.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: 彩虹 Dash, let's see your nonsense word. Hoda Kotb. That's not a nonsense word. She's the co host of The Today Show.
彩虹 Dash: Kotb? That's a nonsense word. Where's the vowel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And 你 wagered.. 你 wagered that you'll be passed out in an hour.
Audience: *Laughing*
彩虹 Dash: *Talks with a southern accent* Yer darn tootin partner. I like cowboys.
Alex: Great. Tom Selleck, let's see what 你 wrote down... Wait, Tom Selleck just disappeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: No, he was never here.
Alex: Yes he was.
Sean: No he wasn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Alright then, let's see what 你 wrote down. IOISSSB.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. That is a nonsense word. Judges? Yes, this counts as a nonsense word.
Sean: Well, I thought 你 could use it friend.
Alex: Well, thank you. Thank 你 Sean.
Sean: You're welcome.
Alex: Let's see what my friend, Sean wagered.
IOISSSB turned out to be part of a drawing Sean made of himself taking a shit on Alex Trebek's grave.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: If I am looking at that correctly, that is 你 letting out a number 2 on my grave.
Sean: It was right after I had sex with your grand daughter Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, that's it. Show's over, good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
屁股 屁股 Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring 彩虹 Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic 彩虹 as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Idea for this skit 由 Purrloinedlove.
Mercury was sitting with Marisa at a table.
Mercury: I've been looking 前锋, 期待 to this for a long time Ms. Sayers.
Marisa: Me too.
Mercury: It's about time we got in 床, 床上 together.
Marisa: I agree.
Mercury: And once we get in bed, I'm gonna roast marshmallows, sing campfire songs, and play parcheesi with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: I know. I'm really looking 前锋, 期待 to our camping trip.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lloyd: *Walks over to Mercury*
Marisa: Wait your turn Lloyd.
Lloyd: I came here to get a job from Mercury. I have plenty of time to do the "other" thing here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Alright. This job I have for 你 maybe confusing.
Lloyd: Surprise me.
Mercury: There's this 小马 that has a destroyed house. He prefers to live in it the way it is. Broken windows, chipping paint, and no electricity for watching television.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: 你 have just surprised me, and I am confused.
Mercury: That's why I'm the best boss around.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd went down into Compton where the 小马 living in the destroyed house was located. Some workers were trying to repair the house, but they were getting shot at 由 the 小马 living in the damaged house. He was using an UMP45 SMG.
House Pony: I don't want anypony to repair my house! I am Mr. Fail, and I will not succeed at anything!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: Then let's see if 你 can fail at life. *Aiming 步枪 at Mr. Fail*
Workers: Sir, please let us fix your house.
Mr. Fail: *Shoots 更多 workers* I will fail at having my house fixed!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Pulls trigger*
Mr. Fail: *Gets shot*
Lloyd got away before anypony could see him with the gun.
Back at the 屁股 屁股 Inn.
Marisa: I know we've been planning this for a long time, but I have to 取消 our camping trip.
George: What?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: Your boss Mercury gave me a better deal. I'm sorry, but I could give 你 a private 显示 for free.
George: Fine 由 me. What are we watching?
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Walks towards Mercury* Mr. Fail has been assassinated.
Mercury: Excellent. Here's 20 grand. Make it last.
Lloyd: *Takes money* I appreciate it sir. Thank you.
Aina was 写作 down a 圣诞节 list.
Aina: Dear Santa Claus, even though everypony calls this holiday Hearths Warming Eve, I want to remember this as Christmas.
Audience: *Cheering*
Aina: On the 下一个 episode of this show, I want everything to be related to Christmas. The crossover parody, a few of the skits, and I want Master Sword, and Tom Foolery to be dressed like 你 during the intro.
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: As for my presents, I only have one gift that I want, and that is a new set of headphones. I like Dr. Dre's beats, so could I have a pair of those in red? Thanks a lot. Sincerely, Aina.
Master Sword: *Walks in* That's a shitty 圣诞节 list!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Sad* Why?
Master Sword: 你 need to have 更多 then one thing 你 want for Hearths Warming Eve!
Aina: It's Christmas.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: And you're even trying to change the name of this glorious holiday. What is the matter with you?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Cries, and runs away*
Master Sword: *Writes down his Hearths Warming Eve list* Dear Santa, this letter is from a friend of Aina, but keep in mind that she is an idiot, and has no clue about the true meaning of this holiday.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I want a brand new laptop, a golden watch, a suit with a tie, and hat to go with it, a DVD with the first season of The Streets Of San Franciscolt on it, a box of legos, and a Glock 17.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Smith & Wesson is crap, unless it's a 500, 或者 a .44.
Audience: *Laughing*
After 写作 down his 圣诞节 list, Master Sword went to the nearest mailbox, so he could send his letter to Santa.
Master Sword: *About to put his letter in the mailbox*
Mortomis: *Pops out of the mailbox* Hi there!
Master Sword: AH!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: What are 你 doing in there?
Mortomis: Playing hide & seek with Tom.
Master Sword: You're not exactly hiding with your head sticking out of there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: I was checking to make sure he was not anywhere near me.
Tom: *Arrives* Found 你 Mortomis.
Mortomis: *Glaring at Master Sword*
Master Sword: You're not going to do what I think you're going to do... Are you?
Mortomis: 你 just f**ked up big time! *Dives onto Master Sword*
Tom: *Looks at Audience* Well, so much for no violence.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's all the time we have for today. See 你 in the 下一个 episode.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
Song: link
Tom: And now, for Gran Turismo. Guess who's a special guest 星, 星级 in this episode.
Tim: You.
Tom: That's right.
Tim: Guess who else gets killed 由 me. You.
Tom: oh..right..
What to expect in this episode.
Twilight Sparkle: *In a black 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the 可兑换, 可转换, 敞篷车 they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!
---
Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.
---
Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.
---
Tim: *Gets punched three times 由 a blue unicorn. He gets punched one 更多 time, and his glasses break*
Intro
Song: link
Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 下一个 to her*
Gran Turismo
Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
彩虹 Dash as Julia Rose
Tim: *Talks on the radio*
Julia: *Increases speed in the car while turning on the police lights*
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
And Red Velvet from Dragonaura15
Song: link
Canterlot, 6:50 AM
The sun was just rising as a convoy left Canterlot. In the convoy was a Lincoln, two Chryslers, and a 1954 Cadillac convertible. Each car was shiny, and black, and Twilight's in the Cadillac. The front of that car has two purple flags with her cutie mark on it.
Episode 3: 圣诞节 Trees And Assassinations
Special Guest Stars, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna as theirselves.
SeanTheHedgehog's Tom Foolery as Brett Flasch
In Gran Turismo, everypony heard that Twilight Sparkle was coming to visit.
Tim: *Listening to the radio inside his car as he drives to his police barracks to get started with work for the day*
News Pony: I'm afraid that there is some controversy going over a decision Twilight Sparkle made yesterday. She has decided to change the name of Hearth's Warming Eve to Christmas. The name is different, but the holiday is not. However, dozens of ponies have shared their disinterest in this, violently.
A little while later, the convoy entered Gran Turismo. This time, two state troopers were at the front, and back of the convoy. The song starts to fade away as ponies cheer for Twilight.
Brett: *Holding a sniper rifle*
Twilight Sparkle: *Laughing with two Royal Guards
Brett: *Aims his rifle, and fires a bullet, but it hits the door near one of the Royal Guards*
Ponies: *Running away*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!
Twilight: Ah! *Ducks*
The convoy started to go faster.
Brett: *Fires two 更多 bullets*
Royal Guard 2: Where are those shots coming from?
Royal Guard: I don't know. Don't slow down until those shots stop being fired.
Brett: Dammit! *Running out of the building*
Toby: *Nearby on patrol with Red in a brand new Caprice police car*
Brett: *Gets in his car, and drives away*
Toby: *Spots Brett, and sees the sniper rifle* Red, see that 步枪 in his car?
Red: Yes.
Toby: Did 你 hear about that assassination attempt on Twilight just now?
Red: 你 don't suppose-
Toby: I do. *Puts on his sirens*
Brett: *Floors it*
Toby: *Follows Brett*
Brett: I need car chase music. *Looking for the right 音乐 to play on the radio*
Song (Start it at 0:05): link
Brett: Ah, to hell with it. This is good enough.
Red: *On the walkie talkie* That's right, he's going down Byer Lane right now. The road with the train tracks on them.
Brett: *Getting distracted 由 the music*
Engineer: *Hits Brett's car with a train, then stops his train*
Stop the song.
Brett: Well, that escalated quickly. Good thing the train was going slow. *Teleports out of his car*
Toby: What the hell? He just used magic to get out of that car.
Red: Now what do we do?
Toby: That blue unicorn could still be in Gran Turismo. If he wants to kill Twilight Sparkle, there's no doubt he's gonna stay here to try again. We need to tell the Captain.
Tim was in the briefing room with the rest of his 老友记 when Captain Jefferson started talking.
Captain Jefferson: Twilight Sparkle has some business to take care of here, but unfortunately, someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town. Toby and Red spotted the suspect while out on patrol earlier.
Tim: Did the 小马 that tried to kill Twilight escape?
Captain Jefferson: Yes. He used magic to get out of his car. Now visiting us is Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna. They have something to tell us.
Celestia: *Walks in the room with Luna*
Ponies: *Clapping*
Celestia: Thank 你 for your warm welcome.
Luna: I just wish Twilight got the same welcoming we got.
Celestia: We have been doing some research, and we believe our suspect is Brett Flasch.
Luna: He's a member of ISIS, and helped over thirty North Koreans sneak into Equestria.
Julia: This guy sounds like bad news.
Celestia: Of course he does. He fits the 描述 Toby and Red gave of the 小马 they were chasing. Blue unicorn, brown mane, and 橙子, 橙色 eyes.
Captain Jefferson: I was going to tell them that.
Celestia: Oh, forgive me. Now, I do have one request. With your captain's permission, I want one of 你 to watch over Twilight until Brett, 或者 whoever the suspect is, is captured.
Toby: *Nervous*
Tim: *Looking at Toby, and smiles*
Julia: *Smirks* I think Toby would be the best choice for this assignment Celestia.
Celestia: Thank you. Toby, please stand up.
Toby: *Stands up*
Celestia: *Walks towards him* What is your last name?
Toby: Linnehan.
Celestia: 你 understand that this task is very important. Correct?
Toby: Yes ma'am, I do.
Celestia: If anything bad happens to her, it's on you, and you'll be arrested for twenty years for treason.
Toby: Celestia, 你 can count on me to protect Twilight Sparkle.
Celestia: Good. Here she comes now.
Twilight: *Walks into the room* Hello everypony.
Ponies: *Clapping*
Toby: *Sweating* Hi Twilight.
Tim: *Whispers to Julia* What have 你 done to him?
Julia: *Whispers back* I saw the look in his eyes.
Tim: What look?
Julia: The look of love. Can 你 do me a favor?
Tim: What?
Julia: Can I come over to your house, and talk with you?
Tim: Sure.
Later that day, Tim and Julia rode to Tim's house. His house was close to the Round Freeway on the northern part of town.
Tim: *Stops in his Viper*
Julia: *Stops behind him on her motorcycle*
Tim: *Gets out of his car, and watches Julia get off her motorcycle* Let's go inside. *Walks with Julia into his house* So what do 你 want to talk about?
Julia: I need help getting a 圣诞节 Tree.
Tim: Are 你 having trouble looking for one?
Julia: *Sadly nods* I really need one.
Tim: Real, 或者 fake?
Julia: I don't care, I just want one.
Tim: Why don't 你 try Ponyville? It's just south of us.
Julia: Is that where 你 got yours?
Tim: Yeah. Tomorrow, after we're off duty, I'll take 你 into Ponyville, and we'll get 你 a 圣诞节 Tree. Okay?
Julia: *Happy* Okay.
Toby's house was 下一个 to a gunshop, across the 街, 街道 from Shadow Lake.
Toby: *Parks his brand new Chrysler 200 in front of his house* Okay Princess, out we go.
Twilight: *Steps out of the car*
Toby: *Walks with Twilight to his house* Did 你 enjoy the ride?
Twilight: Yes. I felt very relaxed.
Toby: Good. I bet 你 your Cadillac is still better to ride in. *Opens the door for her*
Twilight: *Walks inside* Yes, but I wouldn't mind having a 200. We have 300's, but I want a car just like yours.
They sit down at a table.
Toby: So what kind of business are 你 doing here?
Twilight: Business related to terrorists, and how to put an end to it.
Toby: It's about time we stopped them.
Twilight: But I'm afraid that's what caused somepony to try and shoot me earlier today, and if not, why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.
Twilight: And in Canterlot, they're also trying to hurt me, because I changed Hearth's Warming Eve to Christmas.
Toby: Uh Princess, may I tell 你 something?
Twilight: Yeah?
Toby: *Nervous* I, uh,.. want 你 to make yourself comfortable.
Twilight: *Smirking* There's something else 你 want to tell me, is there?
Toby: Would 你 like to, uh... *Sweating* Go out on a 日期 sometime?
Twilight: *Giggles* Is that why 你 were nervous? I'd 爱情 to go out with you.
Toby: Great. Tomorrow, at 6?
Twilight: Yes.
Tim and Julia were on patrol at the docks.
Julia: *Turns left at the docks*
Tim: Have 你 decided what kind of 圣诞节 树 你 wanted?
Julia: Something big, and fat.
Tim: I'll bet. Our shift ends in five minutes, so we'll go into Ponyville to find one of those.
Julia: *Turns left, and passes a police station, 火, 消防 house, and hospital*
A brand new Impala in light blue passed them.
Tim: Double line.
Julia: Yeah, I know. *Turns on the police lights*
Stallion 94: *Pulls over*
Julia: *Stops behind the car, and goes out to talk to the driver*
Tim: GT24, pulling over a light blue Chevrolet for passing on a double line on Green Drive, license Adam, 4, 4, Lincoln, Sam, Henry.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24.
Julia: *Looking at the driver* May I see your driver's license and registration please?
Stallion 94: Yeah yeah. *Gives Julia his driver's license and registration* I know what I did was wrong.
Julia: Why'd 你 do it?
Stallion 94: I'm in a hurry. My boss let me out late, and I have to pick up my son from daycare.
Julia: *Gives the stallion his license and registration back, along with a ticket* 你 know? *Leans on the door near the stallion* This car is sexy. Keep it that way.
Stallion 94: *Smiles* Yes ma'am.
Julia: Merry Christmas. *Walks away*
Stallion: Happy Hearth's Warming Eve.
Julia: *Drives away* 你 know what? I changed my mind. The 树 I want is tall, and handsome.
Tim: Were 你 flirting with that guy?
Julia: Haha. What do 你 think?
Tim: I don't think I'm gonna answer that question.
Meanwhile, Brett was talking to fifty North Koreans. Their current location is unknown.
Brett: Gentlecolts. In fifteen hours, at precisely 6 in the morning, Twilight Sparkle will be ours. Have 你 got the bomb ready?
North Korean Ponies: Yes.
Brett: I'm glad to hear that. I found a building in Gran Turismo that will be suitable for Twilight's death. If we blow it up, it will destroy a nearby gas station, and during our process of murdering Twilight Sparkle, we will also make Equestria lose precious gasoline.
North Korean Ponies: *Cheering*
Brett: This new town in Equestria will quickly have a terrible history. Let's make it happen!!
North Korean Ponies: *Cheering*
The 下一个 morning at Toby's house, Toby was getting ready to go to work.
Toby: That was a great time we had yesterday.
Twilight: Yes. I want to do that again tonight. This time, invite your 老友记 Tim, and Julia.
Toby: Okay. *Goes to the door, but looks at Twilight before he leaves* Remember, if you're in any kind of trouble, and 你 can't use your magic, try to make a phone call to my Captain, 或者 Princess Celestia.
Twilight: I won't forget Toby. Thank you.
Toby: You're welcome. *Walks out of the house*
Brett: *In the back with two North Koreans*
Twilight: *Preparing herself a bowl of cereal*
Brett: **Walks into the house, and uses magic to make Twilight fall asleep* Put her in the car.
North Korean Ponies: Yes sir. *Grabbing Twilight Sparkle, and taking her out of the house with Brett*
They put Twilight in a dark blue Mercedes-Benz, and drove away. The building they were going to was a five story apartment building in the northern section of Gran Turismo. It's the same place Brett was in where he tried to assassinate Twilight earlier in this episode.
Brett: We have to wait for the others. Meanwhile, kill every hostage in this building.
North Koreans: *Walking into the buildings with AK47's*
Brett: *Using magic to get Twilight out of the car. He hears shots being fired from the North Koreans*
Julia: *Driving her police car with Tim sitting 下一个 to her. She turns right onto Green Drive and passes a railroad crossing, and goes under the highway*
Dispatch: Units near Byer Lane, there's a 报道 of shots being fired at Golita Apartments. Use caution, repeat use caution.
Tim: That's near my house.
Julia: Wanna check it out?
Tim: We have to.
Julia: But we're not near Byer Lane.
Tim: Just go there anyway.
Julia: *Driving as fast as she can to the apartment building*
Tim: *Listening to the radio*
Police Pony: This is GT15, I spotted the suspects- *Shots are heard* Aaah!!!
Police 小马 2: Officer down, suspects have opened 火, 消防 on us!
Julia: 你 sure 你 wanna go through with this?
Tim: Let's take the back entrance.
Dispatch: Attention all units, we got an update on the suspects in the Golita Apartments. They have Twilight Sparkle as a hostage.
Julia: *Stops her car at the back of the apartment*
Tim: GT24, we're entering the apartment from the back. Request permission to engage any suspects with our guns.
Dispatch: Ten-4, but only if they 火, 消防 at you.
Julia: Let's do this buddy.
Tim: *Goes to the door, and opens it*
North Korean Pony: *Shooting at them*
Tim: *Closes the door so he, and Julia won't get shot. He opens the door, and returns fire*
North Korean Pony: *Falls down*
Tim: *Walks to him* Where's Twilight Sparkle?
North Korean Pony: In the basement with Brett.
Julia: Thanks. *Arresting the pony*
North Korean Pony: There's another thing 你 need to know. Brett has Twilight strapped to a bomb.
Julia: Do 你 have any experience in disarming a bomb?
Tim: I remember learning a few things about it.
Julia: I'm gonna call for back up, and a bomb squad.
Tim: Right. I'll go find Twilight, and see if I can get her away from the bomb. *Runs downstairs*
Julia: Be careful!
Tim was running downstairs in an attempt to find Twilight.
Tim: *Finds Twilight tied to a chair. Her horn and wings have been removed* There 你 are. *Runs towards her*
Twilight: Look out!
Brett: *Appears behind Tim, and throws a knife*
Tim: *Ducks to avoid being hit 由 the knife*
Brett: Don't 你 dare try to help Twilight. She needs to be killed for her crimes against the Islamic State.
Tim: *Grabs his gun*
Brett: *Using magic to make the gun disappear*
Tim: *Runs towards Brett and knocks him down*
Julia: *Outside, on the radio calling for backup* Please hurry. That bomb needs to be disarmed.
Dispatch: Ten-4, we're sending a swat team with a bomb squad.
Brett: *Using magic to activate the bomb*
The timer began at 10:00.
Tim: *Punches Brett's horn off of his head*
Brett: *Stands up, picks up Tim, and kicks him onto the ground*
Twilight: *Gasp* Tim, be careful.
Brett: *Picks up Tim again, and punches him three times.
Tim: *Spits blood onto Brett's face*
Brett: *Punches Tim one 更多 time, and his glasses break*
Tim: *Looks at his broken glasses, and punches Brett onto the floor*
Brett: Ah! *Grabs a Desert Eagle*
Tim: *Dives onto Brett, and makes him drop the gun*
Brett: *Running for the gun*
Tim: *Trips Brett, and runs over him, getting the gun*
Brett: *Pushes Tim down*
Tim: *Turns around and shoots Brett twice in the face*
Twilight: Now quick, defuse this bomb!
Tim: *Looks at the bomb* I'm afraid I don't know how to do that.
Song: link
The swat team and bomb squad arrived.
Julia: Let's go! *Runs inside with the Swat Team and Bomb Squad*
North Koreans: *Firing at Julia and the other ponies*
Swat Team: *Returns fire*
North Korean: *Lets out a Wilhelm Scream as he falls down the stairs to the basement*
Tim: *Spots the North Korean that fell down the stairs*
North Koreans: *Backing down the stairs while shooting at the police ponies*
Police Ponies: *Shooting them*
The song fades away as they all get killed.
Tim: Come on over here, we gotta defuse this bomb!
Bomb Squad Pony: *Arrives, and examines the bomb. He takes the lid off* As I suspected.
Bomb Squad 小马 2: Everypony get out of here while we defuse this.
Swat Pony: We'll get everypony upstairs. 你 two get Twilight to safety.
Tim: No problem. *Frees Twilight*
Twilight: *Stands up* Thank 你 so much. *Goes upstairs with Tim and Julia*
When they got to their police car, Toby and Red arrived.
Tim: What took 你 two so long?
Toby: Traffic control on the round freeway.
Red: What happened to your glasses?
Tim: They were broken.
Toby: And what about Brett Flasch?
Tim: He's dead.
Twilight: Oh, that reminds me. Would 你 and Julia like to 加入 me and Toby for 晚餐 tonight?
Tim: Yeah, what do 你 say Julia?
Julia: I'd 爱情 to.
And now we're at the ending credits. Song: link
When 你 read the ending credits between the dialogue, the characters pause in place.
Toby & Twilight: *Walking into a restaurant*
Waiter: *Walks them to their table*
Toby & Twilight: *Sees Tim and Julia sitting at their table*
Larry Wilcox as Tim Miller
彩虹 Dash as Julia Rose
Tim & Julia: *Smiling and waving hello*
Toby & Twilight: *Sitting down*
Toby: I have to be honest, I thought 你 two wouldn't 显示 up until late.
Tim: What makes 你 say that?
Twilight: Weren't 你 two looking for a 圣诞节 tree?
Also starring Sean Jefferson from SeanTheHedgehog
Julia: I already got one. Turns out, that a cousin of mine sent me the 树 while I was on duty.
Tim: Was it tall and handsome like that 小马 你 were flirting with yesterday?
Julia: The one with the Impala?
Tim: Yeah, that pony.
Toby Linnehan from SeanTheHedgehog
Tim: *Laughing* 你 know what he did to you?
Julia: What?
Tim: *Continues laughing* He actually pressed charges against 你 for sexual harassment.
Red Velvet from DragonAura15
Toby & Twilight: Ooh.
Waiter: *Arrives* Are 你 four ready to order?
Toby: *Looking at Julia blush with embarrasment* Uh, we may need a few 更多 分钟 here.
Tim: *Laughing*
Police cars furnished 由 Nissan, BMW, and Chevrolet
Julia: All I did was tell him he had a sexy car. How is that sexual harrassment?
Tim: You'll have to ask Captain Jefferson about that tomorrow. He found out about it after 你 left today.
摩托车 furnished 由 Kawasaki
Twilight: 由 the way Julia, 你 look a lot like one of my friends, 彩虹 Dash.
Tim: Hey, she's right, 你 do.
Julia: I've got no idea what you're talking about.
The End
Gran Turismo, A SeanTheHedgehog & Dragonaura15 Production
Song: link
Tom: Well, that wraps up part 1. Come back at 8:30 to see How Gilda 偷了 Christmas.
