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Song: link

Twilight, Master Sword, and Captain Jefferson: *Watching Gordon, and James argue*
Gordon: I'm the greatest engine ever.
James: No. I am!
Henry: Duh, can I play?
Gordon & James: No!
James: I'm the greatest!
Gordon: No! I am!
Hawkeye: You're wrong. *Points to a Big Boy locomotive* That's the greatest engine ever. Pierce Hawkins here everyone, but 你 can call me Hawkeye. I'm hosting the S.S.S.S this week. Tonight, we start with back to back episodes of...

Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences

Hawkeye: And then we got....

Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
Adventures of Thomas & 老友记 - Rated TV-Y7

Hawkeye: Enjoy.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 7: The boss of my boss is my enemy

Idea by: Chibi-Emmy

May 25, 1951

We start this episode near the station of Cheyenne. An observation car was sitting on a siding near the line.

???: Oh my god man! How many of these engines do 你 still have?
Pete: The same ammount we had since 1944.
???: That's not good! We can't allow this!!!
Pete: Sir, we have a lot of engines, why do 你 insist on replacing some in favor of new engines?
???: 你 know why. We need 更多 diesels, and less steam! If we don't get rid of these engines, WE'LL LOSE MONEY!!!
Pete: I think we're already losing money buying new diesels.
???: And we make money 由 selling the steam engines! Alright, listen. We need these engines gone within eight years, alright? Start with the switchers, than continue with the stronger engines. If 你 don't get the job done, 你 can go work for another railroad. Now get the fuck off my car!
Pete: *exits passenger car* ugh, jeez. *walks away*

Three hours later at a 餐车, 晚餐, 小餐馆

Pete: *sighs* Thank's for taking me here Hawkeye. I really 爱情 this place.
Hawkeye: No problem boss. So, how did it go with your boss?
Pete: It was somewhere between dumb, and fuck.
Gordon: That's how it should be with everyone's boss.
Pete: Oh hell no. Not for me! I'm your boss.
Hawkeye: Hey, waitress! Three 更多 colta colas.
Waitress: *goes to kitchen*
Gordon: So, what's so bad about your boss?
Pete: He wants to deiselize this line, that's what.
Hawkeye: Yup. I agree with this being between dumb, and fuck.
Gordon: I agree with your boss. He probably makes a lot of other good decisions.
Pete: Uh, yeah no. He doesn't.
Waitress: *Brings colts*
Hawkeye: Thanks. Here's thirty cents *Gives waitress three dimes*
Waitress: *walks away*
Gordon: So what decisions has he made that weren't good?
Pete: 你 really want to know?
Gordon: Yup.
Pete: Alright than. Sip those sodas, and get yourselves comfortable for a long night, cuz I've got a story to tell.

February 2, 1935

Pete: *narrating* It was roughly a 年 before we recieved our first articulated locomotives. The 4-6-6-4 challengers. At that time they would be the largest steam engines in the world, but we had other engines. 4-12-2's. We nicknamed them the 9000 class, because we numbered the engines between 9000, and 9087. I was an engineer during this time, and my boss was the controller of the section of the U.P that I worked on.
Hawkeye: What was your boss like?
Pete: He was an alicorn.
Gordon: Yup. I can see why 你 hate him.
Pete: He also made this daring plan for me to carry on.
Waiter: Sir? When are 你 three leaving? We have a party of nine coming in, and there isn't enough room for them.
Pete: Damnit. Alright 你 two, I'll tell 你 the rest tomorrow.
Hawkeye: Alright. We'll see 你 at the station.

The 下一个 morning, Hawkeye, and Gordon went to the station early, to hear 更多 of Pete's story.

Pete: Alright, where was I? Oh yesh. It was 1935, five days before Hearts and Hooves day, when my boss told wanted me to do something no engineer could do before.

February 9, 1935

Pete: Uh, Kevin? I mean sir? What is my consist for today?
Kevin: 你 are to get a train that is 90,000 pounds worth of oil up Sherman Hill, with a 9000 class engine.
Pete: Sir, the rails are slippery. I can't get a 90,000 pound train up there.
Kevin: Yeah, well some ponies 说 I couldn't wear sunglasses during a snowstorm, but here I am.
Pete: Why are 你 wearing sunglas-
Kevin: Don't 你 问题 me! I have a horn, and wings!!
Pete: Yeah, I can see that. *goes to servicing facility*

As I got to the facility, I had to look for No. 9011. That was the engine I would use to get my train up the hill, but it wasn't there.

During the mid thirties, when Percy was a colt, his father worked on the line. Percy wouldn't start working for the Union Pacific until 1943, while Jeff started in '45.

Hawkeye: What was Percy's dad's name?
Pete: It was Danny, but he liked being called Dan. If 你 called him Danny, he would be very mad. He has, tourettes.

Pete: Mornin' Danny.
Dan: Faggot!
Pete: Great to see 你 too.
Dan: I'd like to see 你 walk a mile, in my shit!
Pete: I'd definetely like to do that.
U.P engineer: *brings engine to servicing facility*
Pete: *sees number* 9011. That's my locomotive.
Dan: *servicing engine* Tonight, on unsolved mysteries! Find out who gives a shit about Bigfoot!
Pete: *rolls eyes*
Dan: UPDATE!! Apparently no one gives a shit about him, so fuck it. *oils drive rods*
Pete: 你 know a lot
Dan: UPDATE!! Last night, somepony 偷了 $50 from my home. It was either Pete Reimer, 或者 Princess Luna!
Pete: She's in the moon, and doesn't come back for another 80 years 或者 so!
Dan: Fuck you! Drive your engine, it's finished.

So I did. After dealing with the "Tourettes pony" I went to the yard to pick up my train. It was sixty tank cars, and a caboose.

Pete: *couples engine to train*
U.P. Conductor: *doing hoof signals*
Pete: He wants me to put the brakes on *does hoof signal, and puts on brakes*
Kevin: *climbs into cab*
Pete: Sir, what are 你 doing?
Kevin: I'm going to create history. I found out you're going to be the very first engineer to get a 90,000 pound train up Sherman hill.
Pete: Yeah I wonder why.
Kevin: The signal is green. Time to go.
Pete: Yup. Here we go *blows whistle*

The rails were slippery, but we didn't have any wheel spin when we left the yard. However, I was a little worried for when we would get to Sherman 爬坡道, 小山

After leaving the yard, we drove to Sherman Hill. Our locomotive was doing 35

Kevin: 你 may need to go a bit faster.
Pete: How much?
Kevin: Go 40.
Pete: *makes train go 40*

We started going up the hill. It was a long way up, and despite my being nervous, I was determined to get this train up the hill.

Pete: How are we doing now?
Kevin: Excellent. We've got a steep grade here, so why don't we keep this thing at 40, and talk?
Pete: About what?
Kevin: Do 你 have a special somepony?
Pete: I do, my wife.
Kevin: How long have 你 been married?
Pete: 6 months.
Kevin: That's nice.
Pete: What about you? Any special somepony?
Kevin: I found a few mares, but I'm not entirely sure which one to ask out.
Pete: Do 你 think about them a lot?
Kevin: Yeah. Sometimes I think about being in 床, 床上 with them.
Pete: wow. Good luck with that. If 你 get to that.
U.P engineer: *driving past Pete*
Kevin: He's lucky to go downhill.
Pete: Don't remind me.

However, the train that passed us had grease leaking out of it's engine. And it was on a switch we would pass soon.

Kevin: That grease could be a problem. Make this thing go faster!
Pete: *accelerates to 45*
Kevin: *shoveling coal*
Pete: *pours sand on rails*
Kevin: Good thinking.

Sand prevents an engine's wheels from slipping. It was a good thing our sander didn't freeze up, otherwise we wouldn't have passed the grease.

Pete: Wait a minute, there's still grease on those tracks.
Kevin: 你 still got the sand going?
Pete: Yeah, but I'm not sure how much we have left.
Kevin: Stay here, I'll go check *flies out of cab*
Pete: *keeping control of train*
Kevin: *comes back* We have a lot of sand.
Pete: Good. We'll make it.

Halfway up, we got passed all the grease

Pete: *stops sand*
Kevin: Good work.
Pete: Now, we got smooth sailing from here.

或者 did we? Before we reahed the 最佳, 返回页首 of the hill, there was a peice of track covered up in ice. Neither of us saw it.

Suddenly, when the wheels hit the ice, they spun, causing our train to slow down

Pete: We 迷失 traction.
Kevin: The Sand! Use the sand
Pete: *pours sand on rails*
Kevin: The wheels are still slipping. *applies brakes*
Pete: We're sliding downhill!
Kevin: Oh shit. *releases brakes*
Pete: *pushes lever*

The wheels still didn't get any traction as we slowly moved down the hill.

Kevin: I have another plan *leaves cab*
Pete: What is he doing now?
Kevin: *magically moves train*
Pete: Kevin, what are 你 doing?
Kevin: Using magic. Keep the train going past the ice.

I just did what I was told. After all, there was an alicorn helping out.

Soon, we were passed the ice.

Kevin: *gets back in cab*
Pete: Alright. Good job.
Kevin: Yeah, thanks.

And soon, we reached the 最佳, 返回页首 of the hill.

Pete: Well, that's about all I got to tell you.
Hawkeye: It was a great story, but 你 说 all those decisions he made were dumb. How were any of them dumb?
Pete: Ok, well remember the part where he 说 that he would create history for getting a train up sherman hill?
Gordon: Yeah, so?
Pete: He should've 说 I would be creating history. I drove the train, and he just didn't do shit. Except for when he used magic to get us passed the ice. That was cool.
Hawkeye: Yep. *walks away*
Gordon: *does the same*
Pete: Well, it sucks that they don't care.

The End

On the 下一个 episode of Ponies On The Rails

Gordon returns to his stupidity

Hawkeye: Here's another episode of Ponies On The Rails.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

And introducing Bartholomew Perfect the 55th from SeanTheHedgehog

Episode 8: The Secret Unicorn Club

June 1, 1951

Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her 下一个 assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.

Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn 你 can't join.
Honey: Who would want to 加入 your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like 食物 and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want 你 to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*

Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.

Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only 独角兽 are allowed, how is this railway going to make 更多 money?
Orion: What do 你 mean?
Honey: He means only 独角兽 can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have 你 been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do

But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked sick.

Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if 你 can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.

What does Pete have in mind?

Pete was discussing his plan on how to get back at Gordon

Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports 下一个 to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* 你 don't have to call me 由 my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are 更多 modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, 你 really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do 你 need me to do?

At the station

Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do 你 want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to 加入 your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we 独角兽 are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are 你 doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: 你 can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.

Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.

Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do 你 always say the same thing to a 小马 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered 由 another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: 你 were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: 你 just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure 你 did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.

At the entrance of the jailhouse.

Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. 你 can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank 你 *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*

Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station

Gordon: Thank 你 for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but 你 gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: 你 got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all 你 had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when 你 have to think of others. If 你 keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself 由 getting rid of all the ponies 你 care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*

Gordon went to everypony

Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can 你 all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with 你 Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: 你 may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why 你 hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!

Ten years later

Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I 说 some things that would eventually become a lie.

The end

On the 下一个 episode of ponies on the rails

Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.

Song (Start at 0:29): link

Hawkeye: Okay, we hope 你 enjoyed those two episodes. We'll come back at 8:30 to bring 你 Gran Turismo, and Adventures of Thomas & Friends.
added by Seanthehedgehog
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I bet some of 你 remember this.
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I'll be back before 你 know it!
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Song: link

Hawkeye: *Hears the song* Hm, a new song.
Captain Jefferson: Variety is good. That's why we have a new song. Get out there, and protect this town.
Tim: *Goes out with Julia, Toby, and Red*
Tom: Boo!!! *Throws a rock at Twilight*
Twilight: *Gets hit 由 the rock* Yo! What's with 你 man?!
Tom: *Laughing as he runs away*
James: *Stops, watching Tom run across his track* What's with him? *Clears his throat* Hello everyone, my name is James. Welcome to this week's segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm your host, James the red, and splendid engine.
Gordon: *Stops 下一个 to him*...
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One of my 最喜爱的 classic cartoons.
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sean the hedgehog
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Hilary was walking along the beach, wearing a 粉, 粉色 bikini. A 1955 Chevy was on the road 下一个 to her, moving slowly.

Man 54: What's with that guy in the black car?
Man 69: *Looks at Hilary* Miss? I think someone's stalking you.
Hilary: Stalking me? *Looks at the driver of the Chevy*

She only saw a brief glimpse of the driver, before he pulled out a gun, and shot her twice. The first bullet hit her head, and the 秒 went into her right breast. The car took off, leaving some smoke as it took off at high speed.

Alan: *In his car with Harry* Nothing's happening. Let's get some hot dogs.
Dispatch: Attention...
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