Song: link
Hawkeye: *Sitting at the station with Coffee Creme* When does our train get here?
Coffee Creme: Not sure.
Sean: *Passes by, pulling seven passenger cars*
Hawkeye: That definitely was not our train.
Tim: *Sitting in the M4 police car with Julia* When are we getting some action?
Julia: Soon.
Double Scoop: Ice cream anyone?
Twilight: Man, I hate ice cream!
Double Scoop: *Pulls a lever*
Twilight: *Falls through a hole*
Double Scoop: That's what happens when 你 tell me 你 hate ice cream. I'm Double Scoop, and I'm hosting this week of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. To get things starting, we got...
Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double: Then it's..
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double Scoop: Enjoy the 显示 folks.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 6: Percy's "Finest" 小时
May 21, 1951
你 already know this, but bare with me. Percy fixes tracks on the Union Pacific. He usually works with his best friend Jeff, but today that would change.
Percy: *walks along station*
Pete: Percy, I have some bad news.
Percy: What is it?
Pete: Jeff isn't feeling well, and took the 日 off. So we got 你 another 小马 to work with.
Percy: Uh, ok. Where is he?
Pete: He's right here.
The new 小马 was a black stallion, and walked rather quickly to the two ponies. His voice made him sound like he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes.
BS: Hello. My name is.. Douchebag.
Pete: Uh, yeah. You're working with Douchebag until Jeff feels better.
Percy: Ok. Come on Douchebag, I'll 显示 你 around.
Douchebag: Ok. *follows*
Percy: *walks to servicing facility* Sometimes we get to service engines here, but we mostly fix tracks.
Douchebag: Uh huh.
Percy: Over there is our truck. We drive it around the tracks, but if we're lucky we get to ride on a railcar.
Douchebag: Where are the keys to the truck?
Percy: I have them.
Douchebag: *steals keys*
Percy: Hey!
Douchebag: *steals truck*
Percy: I cannot believe this is happening. *runs to railcar*
As Douchebag was driving away, he nearly hit a train
Hawkeye: Whoa! Who was that?
Percy: *driving rail car toward Hawkeye's train* NO! *stops*
Hawkeye: *driving 39 miles an hour*
Percy: Come on! I have a theif to catch!
But luckily for Percy, the truck stalled
Douchebag: Grrrrr. How do I fix this?! *turns key* It didn't start *turns key*
Hawkeye: *passes Douchebag*
Meanwhile at the switch
Percy: *sees the end of Hawkeye's train* Finally *drives onto mainline*
Douchebag: *starts truck*
Percy: This 小马 is 更多 obnoxious then Gordon
Douchebag: *driving at 25 miles an hour*
Percy: *catching up*
Douchebag: *doing 30*
Percy: *catching up*
Douchebag: *doing 35*
Percy: *catches up* Douchebag!! Stop the truck!
Douchebag: No!
Percy: I now see why they call 你 Douchebag!
Douchebag: *rams Percy off rails*
Percy: *Flying after Douchebag*
Douchebag: *drives on train tracks*
Percy: *lands on truck*
Douchebag: Get off!!
Percy: no
Douchebag: *swerves to left*
Percy: *nearly falls off*
Douchebag: *Swerves to right*
Percy: *falls off*
Douchebag: Hahahaha. *sees train* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *crashes*
Orion: Oh my god! How many times am I going to crash into things?!
Douchebag was hurt, but his injury wasn't serious.
Pete: How is it not serious? 你 ran into a train!
Douchebag: I know! Don't rub it in for crying out loud!
Pete: So 你 crashed a truck into a train on your first day. wow, you're fired.
Douchebag: Whatever.
Pete: And you're fired too
Percy: Me?!
Pete: Yes you!
Percy: What did I do?! That idiot 偷了 the keys from me, and just took off after I told him not too!
Douchebag: Desperate, so desperate.
Percy: I am not! That's what happened!!
Pete: Just get outta here.
Percy: *flies away* I can't believe this is happening
Percy went to the station when he saw Red Rose.
Red Rose: Percy? What's wrong?
Percy: I got fired.
Red Rose: *gasp* Why?
Percy: Apparently I let a new worker steal a truck, and crash into a train.
Red Rose: That's terrible.
Percy: Yeah. If only Jeff wasn't sick.
Red Rose: Wait a minute. 你 just gave me an idea!
Percy: What?
Red Rose: Where's Coffee Creme?
Percy: I don't know.
Red Rose: Alright. What about Gordon?
Percy: He doesn't come back from his break until tomorrow.
Red Rose: Shit! Do 你 know where Jeff lives?
Percy: I think so.
Red Rose: Than go find him.
Percy: I'm on it! *flies off*
While that was going on..
Orion: Sir, did 你 really have to 火, 消防 Percy? He was chasing Douchebag, then got rammed off the tracks.
Pete: 你 saw this happen?
Orion: Not all of it, but I saw how Percy got hurt.
Pete: How did the truck push his 大车, 购物车 off the rails?
Orion: It went fast, and rammed his 大车, 购物车 由 the side. He was pretty desperate to stop Douchebag. He even fell off the truck when trying to stop him.
Pete: And why did I 火, 消防 him?
Orion: Yeah, why did 你 火, 消防 him?
Pete: Because he let that 小马 take the truck in the first place. Now if I saw how Douchebag got his hands on the keys, I wouldn't have fired him.
There was nothing 更多 Orion could say. He just returned to his train, and continued to the station
Meanwhile, Percy was still looking for Jeff. Percy flew along the streets of Cheyenne, and suddenly saw Jeff coming out of a pharmacy.
Percy: Jeff!
Jeff: Percy? What are 你 doing? I'm not feeling well.
Percy: I know, but listen. Do 你 know how 你 got SICK?
Jeff: My doctor 说 it was from a filly I accidentally bumped into. She had some kind of virus.
Percy: When was it?
Jeff: Near my house.
Percy: No, when was it?
Jeff: Last night.
Percy: Alright. Time travel away.
Jeff: Uh, Percy? I don't know any time traveling spells.
Percy: Great. Our only hope is Coffee Creme.
Gordon: *stops nearby* 或者 你 can count on me.
Percy: Gordon? But you're not supposed to get back until tomorrow.
Gordon: Yeah well I didn't want to get late so I decided to leave early. Anyway, that's not the point. I heard 你 got fired, and needed some help.
Percy: Who told 你 this?
Gordon: Orion. He called me at the airport when I got back, and I came looking for you. Where are we heading?
Percy: To May 20, 1951. Cheyenne.
Jeff: On the intersection of West 25, and Carey Avenue.
Gordon: Got it.
As his horn lit up, Gordon concetrated on time travelling to last night.
Gordon: Well, we're here.
Jeff: There I am, and there's the Filly with her parents.
Percy: Let's stop you. *runs toward past Jeff*
filly: *walking towards past Jeff*
Future Jeff: Look out!
Past Jeff: *backs away from filly*
Parents: What are 你 doing shouting like that?! And why do 你 look exactly like this stallion?
Future Jeff: Time traveling unicorn here saved my life.
Gordon: That's me.
Parents: Come on Mary Sue *walk with filly*
Gordon: Well, we saved yourself from getting sick, and Percy is no longer fired.
The three ponies time travelled back into the morning of May 21, 1951
Percy: Good morning Pete
Pete: Morning Percy, Hi Jeff.
Jeff: What's good Pete?
Douchebag: *walks up*
Pete: Oh, 你 don't have to be here today Douchebag, Jeff is feeling fine.
Douchebag: Good. Cuz I'm not coming back here again *walks off*
Jeff: Is that the 小马 that was going to replace me?
Pete: Yeah. I thought 你 说 你 weren't feeling well.
Jeff: I tried calling 你 this morning. I feel better now.
Pete: Alright then. Get to work 你 two.
Percy: Yes sir *walks to servicing facility*
Jeff: *follows*
The End
On the 下一个 episode of Ponies On The Rails...
Pete tells a story of his past.
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Double Scoop: Man, I feel sorry for the antagonist of that episode, having a terrible name like that. Here's what we got next.
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double Scoop: Hope 你 like what 你 see.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 老友记 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: 嘿 everypony.
Audience: *Clapping*
Tom: 你 know what? We need a new intro. The one we have is too boring.
Master Sword: But we're not allowed to change it after we finish three seasons.
Tom: Then to hell with this show. I'm going to quit.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: 你 were supposed to make them laugh 你 idiot!
Tom: You're calling me an idiot? You're the one that got a zero on your english test!
Audience: *Stop booing, and laugh*
Tom: See? They laughed. *Looking at audience* Good ponies. Who wants a special treat?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: They aren't dogs.
Tom: Well I wish they were. I wouldn't mind being a dog. Now, for today's crossover parody, we got Welcome Back Potter.
Master Sword; It combines Harry Potter with a TV 显示 from the 70's. 你 probably never heard of it, but it's called Welcome Back Kotter.
Tom: Both were created 由 Warner Brothers, so I wouldn't be surprised if they hired assassins to kill us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Welcome Back Potter.
Starring Tom Foolery as Harry Potter
Snow Wonder as Ginny
Mortomis as Vinnie Barbarino
Cosmic 彩虹 as Freddie Washington
Master Sword as Juan Epstein
Saten Twist as Arnold Horshack
and Blaze as Severus Snape
Harry is in bed, sleeping 下一个 to Ginny.
Ginny: *Wakes up* Harry, it's time to go to school.
Harry: *Moaning* I don't want to go to school. I have to take a test!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ginny: You're a teacher. 你 don't take tests. 你 give them to students.
Harry: Who would've known that I'd be teaching at Hogwarts after graduating there ten years ago? *Gets out of bed* Ohhhhhh!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ginny: What was that?
Harry: It was my step father's noise. He'd make that noise whenever he got out of bed. I think it was because Dudley kept jumping on his stomach.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I cannot be 表演 like somepony that abused me during my childhood.
Ginny: 你 also can't be late for getting to Hogwarts.
Harry: Oh right! I gotta go! *Runs to trainstation*
When he got there, he saw the brick 墙 between platform 9, and 10.
Harry: Platform 9, and three quarters, here we go. *Runs into brick wall, and arrives on platform 9, and three quarters* Wait a minute. Where's the bloody train?
Station Master: It's down for repairs. That's why we created the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Looking at teleporter* 你 mean a teleporter?
Station Master: No, it's the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Who made up that name?
Station Master: I did.
Audience: *Laughing*
After going into the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo-
Harry: Teleporter!
Oh, right, teleporter. Why don't we called it the Telepotter?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I actually like that.
Okay, that's what we'll call it from now on. After going into the telepotter, Harry got to Hogwarts, and began teaching his class.
Harry: Okay, I see we got four new students that moved all the way here from Brooklyn. Please introduce yourselves.
Vinnie: What?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I 说 please introduce yourself to the class.
Vinnie: Where?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Forget it, just tell me your name.
Vinnie: My name? Well 你 probably know me as John Travolta..
Audience: *Laughing*
Vinnie: But my name is Vinnie Barbarino.
Audience: *Clapping*
Harry: Okay, how about your friend sitting 下一个 to you?
Vinnie: That's Freddie Washington.
Freddie: *Looking at Harry* Hi there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Yeah, hi there. I don't see why this is funny, because we have to learn a lot of spells, so let's have the other two transfer students introduce theirselves.
Juan: *Stands up, and faces the students* Juan Luis Pedro Fellipo De Huevos Epstein.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Would 你 mind saying that slower?
Juan: What's that supposed to mean?
Harry: Forget it. *Looking at Arnold* You, introduce yourself to the class.
Arnold: Hello. I'm Arnold Horshack. *Laughs*
His laughing sounded like a horse with a soar throat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Okay, now let's learn some new spells.
Vinnie: Oh, I got one. *Waving wand* Up your nose with a garden hose.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Oh no...
Harry then shouted so loud that it was heard from the moon.
Nightmare Moon: I feel your pain. I want to be heard 由 everypony too.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time to continue with the rest of this episode with a new character.
Here is a picture of the new character
Astrel Sky: images6.fanpop.com/image/answers/3589000/3589542_14133...jpg
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 3: The Third Episode To Have The Word Introduction In It
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: If only they knew when to keep their f**king mouths shut!
Audience: *Laughing* 嘿 wait a minute! He insulted us! *Booing*
Announcer: Okay, I'm sorry. Please start laughing again!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walking down street*
Master Sword: Hey, 你 说 你 were going to leave us!
Tom: I did? Well, the truth is....
Heartsong: *Playing violin*
Master Sword: *Awaiting response*
Tom: I can never leave 你 guys. You're my best friends.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Master Sword: Well, I already knew that. Let's 移动 onto the jokes, huh?
Tom: What jokes? We've been running low on them ever since Saten Twist tried getting 更多 ponies to live here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well at least we got a new pony. Everypony, meet Astrel Sky.
Audience: *Clapping*
Astrel Sky: Hi! Do 你 like hearing ponies imitate other ponies?
Audience: Yeah!
Astrel Sky: *Sounding exactly like Roger Moore* Than, I believe 你 will enjoy the ones I have for you.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Astrel Sky: Here's one I made for Pinkie Pie. *Sounding exactly like Pinkie Pie* The 更多 parties we have here, the better! Today Equestria, tomorrow. *Talks like Pinkie Pie with a German accent* Germaneigh! They have good 浓情巧克力 there. It's so wunderbar!
Audience: *Laughing*
Astrel Sky: One more. *Sounding like Bulk Biceps* YEEAH!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Master Sword: Thank you. For our 下一个 part of this episode, I get to do my 最喜爱的 thing in this show. Dress up as a Corporal in the Wildwest, and beat up the bugler!
Tom: And I get a special somepony!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
And introducing new characters
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 彩虹 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sargent O' Rourke: *Reading telegram*
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Hi Sarge.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: What have 你 got there?
Sargent O' Rourke: It's a telegram.
Corporal Agarn: What does it say?
Sargent O' Rourke: I don't know. I don't understand morse code.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from-
Corporal Agarn: Hold it! We ain't finished yet!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* Hello gentlecolts. Have we got the letter yet?
Corporal Agarn: Yeah, but apparently the Sarge cannot read it.
Captain: Let me see it.
Sargent O' Rourke: *Gives letter to Captain Parmenter*
When the Captain recieved the letter, he got a papercut.
Sargent O' Rourke: Are 你 alright Captain?
Captain Parmenter: Oh yes, I think so. *Sees blood coming out of cut* That's not supposed to happen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Never mind that. What does the letter say?
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: It says that three ponies are moving into Fort Courage, and two of these ponies are going to be soldiers.
Sargent O' Rourke: How do 你 know that sir?
Captain Parmenter: I learned how to speak Morse Code in High School.
Audience: *Laughing*
The three new ponies arrived the 下一个 day.
Wrangler Jane: Howdy. I was thinking of opening a 商店 here.
Captain Parmenter: We could use some 更多 stores on this fort. Go ahead.
Wrangler Jane: *Falling in 爱情 with Captain Parmenter* Thank you.
Captain Parmenter: Hm. That was strange.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: What's your name Corporal?
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Blind* It's Vanderbilt sir.
Sargent O' Rourke: 你 will be on the guard tower.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Right away sir. *Goes to Captain's quarters*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Uh, Vanderbilt? You're going the wrong way.
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Corporal Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Yes?
Corporal Vanderbilt: 你 got here really fast. I don't know why ponies think you're dumb.
Corporal Agarn: Well thank you, thank you.... Who says I'm dumb?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Duffy: I did.
Corporal Agarn: And might I ask why?
Corporal Duffy: Because 你 weren't with me to protect the Alamo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: None of us here were with 你 to protect the alamo.
Corporal Duffy: Then they were all dumb.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Who says I'm dumb?!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 号角 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 你 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as 橄榄
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
After 橄榄 got fired, Mr. Beddler was having a difficult task to get his workers to do anything properly. Gary had something else on his mind.
Gary: *With Tim near the paint booth* Have 你 ever noticed that there's 更多 mares here than stallions?
Tim: So?
Gary: So? I don't know if 你 know this, but this is not a place for ladies to be running around, putting make up on cars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I don't think they've done that yet.
Gary: Well the last bodyshop I worked at, that's what all the mares were doing. Can 你 imagine a 粉, 粉色 Corvette with eyeliner on the windshield?
Tim: How is the driver going to see?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Forget that. We're talking about a 粉, 粉色 Corvette. Pink! That color is for cars that are unreliable, like Fiat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: It's a disgrace to have your car in pink. That color is just unacceptable.
Pinkie Pie: *Appears out of nowhere* How dare 你 say the color 粉, 粉色 is a disgrace!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: It's a very good color. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to break the 4th 墙 somewhere else.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: *Goes through a wall*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Gary: *Looking at hole in 墙 that says number 4* Would 你 look at that? She really did break the 4th wall.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Mr. Beddler was talking to the other ponies.
Mr. Beddler: Now, I know 你 all miss Olive, but she is not allowed to work here after what she did to that SUV last week.
Cutlass Supreme: She just wanted to help.
Danielle: Yeah, 你 can't blame somepony for trying.
Mr. Beddler: 你 wanna know how she could've helped?
Cutlass Supreme: How?
Mr. Beddler: 由 not helping.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: We want her back.
Mr. Beddler: I just told 你 why we can't have her back. Now, I know that some of 你 have been putting rust on cars that just had the rust taken off of them... Somehow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: And I also know that one of 你 broke that windshield on the sports car yesterday, even though we were supposed to fix it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: And I also know that one of 你 used spray paint to put communist graffiti on MY CAR!
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: I'll admit, we did the first two, but the third one was not us.
Mr. Beddler: Who did it then? Are 你 saying that some russian spy showed up out of nowhere, and put it on my car?
Wheel Bearing: He didn't 显示 up out of no where. Only Pinkie Pie can do that.
Edwina: She just did it too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget this. I'm getting 橄榄 to come work for us again.
Audience: *Clapping*
Mr. Beddler: And 你 don't have to clap!
Cutlass Supreme: But we weren't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Who's laughing? *Looks at audience* Hi.
橄榄 got her job back, and was very pleased about it.
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
Canterlot High School, in the 小马 world, not that Equestria Girls crap.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Okay anypony, today we will be learning about-
James: How our school is going down the drain.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Why do 你 think it's going down the drain?
James: I'm not sure if 你 noticed, but this is a high school. I've seen students that are under the age of ten. Who the hell would run a school like that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: I'll be doing the teaching, thank you.
James: I wish I could say I was welcome, but I'm not.
Gary: Ms. Schultz, 你 look like somepony that works at a bodyshop with me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, for the last time, 你 don't work at a bodyshop.
Gary: Yeah I do. 你 were there with me, and so was this other 小马 that looked like Brianna.
Audience: *Laughing*
Brianna: I don't know anything about cars.
Ms. Schultz: Well we won't be learning about cars in this class, because this is everypony's 最喜爱的 subject, math.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I hate math.
Ms. Schultz: Well, 你 can calm down-
Gary: *Angry* DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: If 你 shout like that again, 你 will go to the principal's office.
Maria: What's that like?
Ms. Schultz: Try, and imagine hell, but the flames, and hot temperature is replaced with boring phone calls, and 壁纸 that's out of 日期 由 forty years.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Now, grab your books, and do all the problems on page 91.
Gary: 嘿 Ms. Schultz?
Ms. Schultz: You're not gonna shout again, are you?
Gary: No, but not only do 你 look like a 小马 that I work with at a bodyshop, but 你 also look like this 小马 that I was with in a dream.
Ms. Schultz: Tell me about it.
Gary: I was imagining myself as Harry Potter in his early 30's, and your replica was the wife.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Interesting. Now, please do the math problems.
Lauren: Ms. Schultz, I have a question.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: This math problem is really difficult, and I can't figure out the answer.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: 2 plus 2.
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Ms. Schultz: The answer is 4.
Lauren: Thank you.
James, and Gary were exchanging looks at each other while doing their work. They had something planned to disrupt the class.
Gary: *Looking at Lauren* 你 smell like shit.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lauren: *Surprised* I'm offended!
Gary: Please, be offended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, go to hell, I mean the principal's office.
Gary: What's the difference?
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Farewell everypony. It was an honor being with you. *Leaves classroom*
Audience: *Clapping*
Maria: *Impersonating the announcer* On the 下一个 part of this episode, we notice that Princess Celestia's life starts going downhill.
Ms. Schultz: Shut up Maria, and get back to work.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic 彩虹 as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia: *Sitting at her 台, 办公桌 in her office*
Timothy: Princess, I trust that 你 enjoy this desk, we worked real hard to make it.
Celestia: Thank you. Now, I need to know about Twilight Sparkle. She has betrayed me too many times now, and we must find her.
Timothy: I regret to inform 你 that she has not been found, but I did find a penny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: It was heads up too. We should be able to find her easily now.
Celestia: It's clear to me that you're not a good informer. I need someone 更多 intelligent like...
Derpy: *Arrives* Hi Princess. Here's your pizza.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: You're my new informer.
Derpy: Yay!
Audience: *Clapping*
Celestia: Timothy, go back to whatever it was 你 were doing.
Timothy: *Walks away*
Derpy: What should I inform 你 about?
Celestia: 你 tell me if 你 found Twilight Sparkle 或者 not. She is a traitor to Equestria, and must be captured.
Derpy: I thought 你 were only supposed to capture flags.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: No, 你 find Twilight Sparkle, and tell me about it. 你 also inform me about anything important.
Derpy: Okay.
The 下一个 day.
Celestia: *Sitting at her desk*
Derpy: 你 are Princess Celestia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I don't need stupid losers like 你 telling me that.
Audience: Aw.
Celestia: Of course I'm Celestia! Who else would I be? The prime minister of Canada?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I don't see why 你 would waste time in telling me that I'm the princess. I know I'm Celestia. Go tell Twilight Sparkle that she's Twilight Sparkle.
Audience: *Laughing*
The 下一个 day.
Celestia: *Walking upstairs*
Bryan: *Sees Celestia* 嘿 look, it's Nicole Oliver.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I am Princess Celestia 你 nincompoop.
Jonathan: I object to 你 saying you're the princess.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: 你 can't object my identity!
Jonathan: But you're Nicole Oliver.
Celestia: *Ignoring the others, and goes upstairs*
The white alicorn got to her office, and sat down at her desk, when Derpy arrived.
Derpy: I'd like to inform 你 about something important. 你 are not the real Princess Celestia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What do 你 mean I'm not Princess Celestia? Of course I am. 你 dare 问题 my identity? To hell with you. I'm already dealing with other ponies saying that I'm Nicole Oliver, and I don't need others telling me I'm not Celestia. Why don't 你 go inform Twilight?
Derpy: Because 你 told me to capture her.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Falls asleep, and falls on the floor*
Meanwhile on the block.
Master Sword: Well, today has been fun, but it's time to go home. My laundry is going to catch on 火, 消防 if I leave the washing machine running.
Tom: How is that possible?
Master Sword: It's really old.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well, so long. And, enjoy the rest of your day.
Astrel Sky: *Imitating a Radio Disk Jockey* This is Astrel Sky, signing off.
Audience: *Clapping, cheering, and whistling*
The End
Song: link
Double Scoop: Okay, that's it for now. We'll be back at 12:30 with the 秒 half of our show.
Hawkeye: *Sitting at the station with Coffee Creme* When does our train get here?
Coffee Creme: Not sure.
Sean: *Passes by, pulling seven passenger cars*
Hawkeye: That definitely was not our train.
Tim: *Sitting in the M4 police car with Julia* When are we getting some action?
Julia: Soon.
Double Scoop: Ice cream anyone?
Twilight: Man, I hate ice cream!
Double Scoop: *Pulls a lever*
Twilight: *Falls through a hole*
Double Scoop: That's what happens when 你 tell me 你 hate ice cream. I'm Double Scoop, and I'm hosting this week of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. To get things starting, we got...
Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double: Then it's..
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double Scoop: Enjoy the 显示 folks.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Honey Bee From NaomiWinx
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 6: Percy's "Finest" 小时
May 21, 1951
你 already know this, but bare with me. Percy fixes tracks on the Union Pacific. He usually works with his best friend Jeff, but today that would change.
Percy: *walks along station*
Pete: Percy, I have some bad news.
Percy: What is it?
Pete: Jeff isn't feeling well, and took the 日 off. So we got 你 another 小马 to work with.
Percy: Uh, ok. Where is he?
Pete: He's right here.
The new 小马 was a black stallion, and walked rather quickly to the two ponies. His voice made him sound like he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes.
BS: Hello. My name is.. Douchebag.
Pete: Uh, yeah. You're working with Douchebag until Jeff feels better.
Percy: Ok. Come on Douchebag, I'll 显示 你 around.
Douchebag: Ok. *follows*
Percy: *walks to servicing facility* Sometimes we get to service engines here, but we mostly fix tracks.
Douchebag: Uh huh.
Percy: Over there is our truck. We drive it around the tracks, but if we're lucky we get to ride on a railcar.
Douchebag: Where are the keys to the truck?
Percy: I have them.
Douchebag: *steals keys*
Percy: Hey!
Douchebag: *steals truck*
Percy: I cannot believe this is happening. *runs to railcar*
As Douchebag was driving away, he nearly hit a train
Hawkeye: Whoa! Who was that?
Percy: *driving rail car toward Hawkeye's train* NO! *stops*
Hawkeye: *driving 39 miles an hour*
Percy: Come on! I have a theif to catch!
But luckily for Percy, the truck stalled
Douchebag: Grrrrr. How do I fix this?! *turns key* It didn't start *turns key*
Hawkeye: *passes Douchebag*
Meanwhile at the switch
Percy: *sees the end of Hawkeye's train* Finally *drives onto mainline*
Douchebag: *starts truck*
Percy: This 小马 is 更多 obnoxious then Gordon
Douchebag: *driving at 25 miles an hour*
Percy: *catching up*
Douchebag: *doing 30*
Percy: *catching up*
Douchebag: *doing 35*
Percy: *catches up* Douchebag!! Stop the truck!
Douchebag: No!
Percy: I now see why they call 你 Douchebag!
Douchebag: *rams Percy off rails*
Percy: *Flying after Douchebag*
Douchebag: *drives on train tracks*
Percy: *lands on truck*
Douchebag: Get off!!
Percy: no
Douchebag: *swerves to left*
Percy: *nearly falls off*
Douchebag: *Swerves to right*
Percy: *falls off*
Douchebag: Hahahaha. *sees train* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *crashes*
Orion: Oh my god! How many times am I going to crash into things?!
Douchebag was hurt, but his injury wasn't serious.
Pete: How is it not serious? 你 ran into a train!
Douchebag: I know! Don't rub it in for crying out loud!
Pete: So 你 crashed a truck into a train on your first day. wow, you're fired.
Douchebag: Whatever.
Pete: And you're fired too
Percy: Me?!
Pete: Yes you!
Percy: What did I do?! That idiot 偷了 the keys from me, and just took off after I told him not too!
Douchebag: Desperate, so desperate.
Percy: I am not! That's what happened!!
Pete: Just get outta here.
Percy: *flies away* I can't believe this is happening
Percy went to the station when he saw Red Rose.
Red Rose: Percy? What's wrong?
Percy: I got fired.
Red Rose: *gasp* Why?
Percy: Apparently I let a new worker steal a truck, and crash into a train.
Red Rose: That's terrible.
Percy: Yeah. If only Jeff wasn't sick.
Red Rose: Wait a minute. 你 just gave me an idea!
Percy: What?
Red Rose: Where's Coffee Creme?
Percy: I don't know.
Red Rose: Alright. What about Gordon?
Percy: He doesn't come back from his break until tomorrow.
Red Rose: Shit! Do 你 know where Jeff lives?
Percy: I think so.
Red Rose: Than go find him.
Percy: I'm on it! *flies off*
While that was going on..
Orion: Sir, did 你 really have to 火, 消防 Percy? He was chasing Douchebag, then got rammed off the tracks.
Pete: 你 saw this happen?
Orion: Not all of it, but I saw how Percy got hurt.
Pete: How did the truck push his 大车, 购物车 off the rails?
Orion: It went fast, and rammed his 大车, 购物车 由 the side. He was pretty desperate to stop Douchebag. He even fell off the truck when trying to stop him.
Pete: And why did I 火, 消防 him?
Orion: Yeah, why did 你 火, 消防 him?
Pete: Because he let that 小马 take the truck in the first place. Now if I saw how Douchebag got his hands on the keys, I wouldn't have fired him.
There was nothing 更多 Orion could say. He just returned to his train, and continued to the station
Meanwhile, Percy was still looking for Jeff. Percy flew along the streets of Cheyenne, and suddenly saw Jeff coming out of a pharmacy.
Percy: Jeff!
Jeff: Percy? What are 你 doing? I'm not feeling well.
Percy: I know, but listen. Do 你 know how 你 got SICK?
Jeff: My doctor 说 it was from a filly I accidentally bumped into. She had some kind of virus.
Percy: When was it?
Jeff: Near my house.
Percy: No, when was it?
Jeff: Last night.
Percy: Alright. Time travel away.
Jeff: Uh, Percy? I don't know any time traveling spells.
Percy: Great. Our only hope is Coffee Creme.
Gordon: *stops nearby* 或者 你 can count on me.
Percy: Gordon? But you're not supposed to get back until tomorrow.
Gordon: Yeah well I didn't want to get late so I decided to leave early. Anyway, that's not the point. I heard 你 got fired, and needed some help.
Percy: Who told 你 this?
Gordon: Orion. He called me at the airport when I got back, and I came looking for you. Where are we heading?
Percy: To May 20, 1951. Cheyenne.
Jeff: On the intersection of West 25, and Carey Avenue.
Gordon: Got it.
As his horn lit up, Gordon concetrated on time travelling to last night.
Gordon: Well, we're here.
Jeff: There I am, and there's the Filly with her parents.
Percy: Let's stop you. *runs toward past Jeff*
filly: *walking towards past Jeff*
Future Jeff: Look out!
Past Jeff: *backs away from filly*
Parents: What are 你 doing shouting like that?! And why do 你 look exactly like this stallion?
Future Jeff: Time traveling unicorn here saved my life.
Gordon: That's me.
Parents: Come on Mary Sue *walk with filly*
Gordon: Well, we saved yourself from getting sick, and Percy is no longer fired.
The three ponies time travelled back into the morning of May 21, 1951
Percy: Good morning Pete
Pete: Morning Percy, Hi Jeff.
Jeff: What's good Pete?
Douchebag: *walks up*
Pete: Oh, 你 don't have to be here today Douchebag, Jeff is feeling fine.
Douchebag: Good. Cuz I'm not coming back here again *walks off*
Jeff: Is that the 小马 that was going to replace me?
Pete: Yeah. I thought 你 说 你 weren't feeling well.
Jeff: I tried calling 你 this morning. I feel better now.
Pete: Alright then. Get to work 你 two.
Percy: Yes sir *walks to servicing facility*
Jeff: *follows*
The End
On the 下一个 episode of Ponies On The Rails...
Pete tells a story of his past.
Song (Start at 0:29): link
Double Scoop: Man, I feel sorry for the antagonist of that episode, having a terrible name like that. Here's what we got next.
On The Block - Rated TV-PG13
Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences
Double Scoop: Hope 你 like what 你 see.
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 老友记 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: 嘿 everypony.
Audience: *Clapping*
Tom: 你 know what? We need a new intro. The one we have is too boring.
Master Sword: But we're not allowed to change it after we finish three seasons.
Tom: Then to hell with this show. I'm going to quit.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: 你 were supposed to make them laugh 你 idiot!
Tom: You're calling me an idiot? You're the one that got a zero on your english test!
Audience: *Stop booing, and laugh*
Tom: See? They laughed. *Looking at audience* Good ponies. Who wants a special treat?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: They aren't dogs.
Tom: Well I wish they were. I wouldn't mind being a dog. Now, for today's crossover parody, we got Welcome Back Potter.
Master Sword; It combines Harry Potter with a TV 显示 from the 70's. 你 probably never heard of it, but it's called Welcome Back Kotter.
Tom: Both were created 由 Warner Brothers, so I wouldn't be surprised if they hired assassins to kill us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Welcome Back Potter.
Starring Tom Foolery as Harry Potter
Snow Wonder as Ginny
Mortomis as Vinnie Barbarino
Cosmic 彩虹 as Freddie Washington
Master Sword as Juan Epstein
Saten Twist as Arnold Horshack
and Blaze as Severus Snape
Harry is in bed, sleeping 下一个 to Ginny.
Ginny: *Wakes up* Harry, it's time to go to school.
Harry: *Moaning* I don't want to go to school. I have to take a test!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ginny: You're a teacher. 你 don't take tests. 你 give them to students.
Harry: Who would've known that I'd be teaching at Hogwarts after graduating there ten years ago? *Gets out of bed* Ohhhhhh!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ginny: What was that?
Harry: It was my step father's noise. He'd make that noise whenever he got out of bed. I think it was because Dudley kept jumping on his stomach.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I cannot be 表演 like somepony that abused me during my childhood.
Ginny: 你 also can't be late for getting to Hogwarts.
Harry: Oh right! I gotta go! *Runs to trainstation*
When he got there, he saw the brick 墙 between platform 9, and 10.
Harry: Platform 9, and three quarters, here we go. *Runs into brick wall, and arrives on platform 9, and three quarters* Wait a minute. Where's the bloody train?
Station Master: It's down for repairs. That's why we created the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Looking at teleporter* 你 mean a teleporter?
Station Master: No, it's the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Who made up that name?
Station Master: I did.
Audience: *Laughing*
After going into the Bonerijhogr, owhetuwahryo-
Harry: Teleporter!
Oh, right, teleporter. Why don't we called it the Telepotter?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I actually like that.
Okay, that's what we'll call it from now on. After going into the telepotter, Harry got to Hogwarts, and began teaching his class.
Harry: Okay, I see we got four new students that moved all the way here from Brooklyn. Please introduce yourselves.
Vinnie: What?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: I 说 please introduce yourself to the class.
Vinnie: Where?
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Forget it, just tell me your name.
Vinnie: My name? Well 你 probably know me as John Travolta..
Audience: *Laughing*
Vinnie: But my name is Vinnie Barbarino.
Audience: *Clapping*
Harry: Okay, how about your friend sitting 下一个 to you?
Vinnie: That's Freddie Washington.
Freddie: *Looking at Harry* Hi there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Yeah, hi there. I don't see why this is funny, because we have to learn a lot of spells, so let's have the other two transfer students introduce theirselves.
Juan: *Stands up, and faces the students* Juan Luis Pedro Fellipo De Huevos Epstein.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Would 你 mind saying that slower?
Juan: What's that supposed to mean?
Harry: Forget it. *Looking at Arnold* You, introduce yourself to the class.
Arnold: Hello. I'm Arnold Horshack. *Laughs*
His laughing sounded like a horse with a soar throat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Okay, now let's learn some new spells.
Vinnie: Oh, I got one. *Waving wand* Up your nose with a garden hose.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Oh no...
Harry then shouted so loud that it was heard from the moon.
Nightmare Moon: I feel your pain. I want to be heard 由 everypony too.
Audience: *Laughing*
And now, it's time to continue with the rest of this episode with a new character.
Here is a picture of the new character
Astrel Sky: images6.fanpop.com/image/answers/3589000/3589542_14133...jpg
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 3: The Third Episode To Have The Word Introduction In It
Announcer: On The Block was filmed in front of a live audience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Announcer: If only they knew when to keep their f**king mouths shut!
Audience: *Laughing* 嘿 wait a minute! He insulted us! *Booing*
Announcer: Okay, I'm sorry. Please start laughing again!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Walking down street*
Master Sword: Hey, 你 说 你 were going to leave us!
Tom: I did? Well, the truth is....
Heartsong: *Playing violin*
Master Sword: *Awaiting response*
Tom: I can never leave 你 guys. You're my best friends.
Audience: *Clapping, and cheering*
Master Sword: Well, I already knew that. Let's 移动 onto the jokes, huh?
Tom: What jokes? We've been running low on them ever since Saten Twist tried getting 更多 ponies to live here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well at least we got a new pony. Everypony, meet Astrel Sky.
Audience: *Clapping*
Astrel Sky: Hi! Do 你 like hearing ponies imitate other ponies?
Audience: Yeah!
Astrel Sky: *Sounding exactly like Roger Moore* Than, I believe 你 will enjoy the ones I have for you.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Astrel Sky: Here's one I made for Pinkie Pie. *Sounding exactly like Pinkie Pie* The 更多 parties we have here, the better! Today Equestria, tomorrow. *Talks like Pinkie Pie with a German accent* Germaneigh! They have good 浓情巧克力 there. It's so wunderbar!
Audience: *Laughing*
Astrel Sky: One more. *Sounding like Bulk Biceps* YEEAH!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Master Sword: Thank you. For our 下一个 part of this episode, I get to do my 最喜爱的 thing in this show. Dress up as a Corporal in the Wildwest, and beat up the bugler!
Tom: And I get a special somepony!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
And introducing new characters
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 彩虹 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sargent O' Rourke: *Reading telegram*
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Hi Sarge.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: What have 你 got there?
Sargent O' Rourke: It's a telegram.
Corporal Agarn: What does it say?
Sargent O' Rourke: I don't know. I don't understand morse code.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from-
Corporal Agarn: Hold it! We ain't finished yet!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* Hello gentlecolts. Have we got the letter yet?
Corporal Agarn: Yeah, but apparently the Sarge cannot read it.
Captain: Let me see it.
Sargent O' Rourke: *Gives letter to Captain Parmenter*
When the Captain recieved the letter, he got a papercut.
Sargent O' Rourke: Are 你 alright Captain?
Captain Parmenter: Oh yes, I think so. *Sees blood coming out of cut* That's not supposed to happen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Never mind that. What does the letter say?
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: It says that three ponies are moving into Fort Courage, and two of these ponies are going to be soldiers.
Sargent O' Rourke: How do 你 know that sir?
Captain Parmenter: I learned how to speak Morse Code in High School.
Audience: *Laughing*
The three new ponies arrived the 下一个 day.
Wrangler Jane: Howdy. I was thinking of opening a 商店 here.
Captain Parmenter: We could use some 更多 stores on this fort. Go ahead.
Wrangler Jane: *Falling in 爱情 with Captain Parmenter* Thank you.
Captain Parmenter: Hm. That was strange.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: What's your name Corporal?
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Blind* It's Vanderbilt sir.
Sargent O' Rourke: 你 will be on the guard tower.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Right away sir. *Goes to Captain's quarters*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Uh, Vanderbilt? You're going the wrong way.
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Corporal Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: *Arrives* Yes?
Corporal Vanderbilt: 你 got here really fast. I don't know why ponies think you're dumb.
Corporal Agarn: Well thank you, thank you.... Who says I'm dumb?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Duffy: I did.
Corporal Agarn: And might I ask why?
Corporal Duffy: Because 你 weren't with me to protect the Alamo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: None of us here were with 你 to protect the alamo.
Corporal Duffy: Then they were all dumb.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Who says I'm dumb?!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 号角 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 你 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as 橄榄
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
After 橄榄 got fired, Mr. Beddler was having a difficult task to get his workers to do anything properly. Gary had something else on his mind.
Gary: *With Tim near the paint booth* Have 你 ever noticed that there's 更多 mares here than stallions?
Tim: So?
Gary: So? I don't know if 你 know this, but this is not a place for ladies to be running around, putting make up on cars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I don't think they've done that yet.
Gary: Well the last bodyshop I worked at, that's what all the mares were doing. Can 你 imagine a 粉, 粉色 Corvette with eyeliner on the windshield?
Tim: How is the driver going to see?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Forget that. We're talking about a 粉, 粉色 Corvette. Pink! That color is for cars that are unreliable, like Fiat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: It's a disgrace to have your car in pink. That color is just unacceptable.
Pinkie Pie: *Appears out of nowhere* How dare 你 say the color 粉, 粉色 is a disgrace!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: It's a very good color. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to break the 4th 墙 somewhere else.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: *Goes through a wall*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Gary: *Looking at hole in 墙 that says number 4* Would 你 look at that? She really did break the 4th wall.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Mr. Beddler was talking to the other ponies.
Mr. Beddler: Now, I know 你 all miss Olive, but she is not allowed to work here after what she did to that SUV last week.
Cutlass Supreme: She just wanted to help.
Danielle: Yeah, 你 can't blame somepony for trying.
Mr. Beddler: 你 wanna know how she could've helped?
Cutlass Supreme: How?
Mr. Beddler: 由 not helping.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wheel Bearing: We want her back.
Mr. Beddler: I just told 你 why we can't have her back. Now, I know that some of 你 have been putting rust on cars that just had the rust taken off of them... Somehow.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: And I also know that one of 你 broke that windshield on the sports car yesterday, even though we were supposed to fix it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: And I also know that one of 你 used spray paint to put communist graffiti on MY CAR!
Audience: *Laughing*
Cutlass Supreme: I'll admit, we did the first two, but the third one was not us.
Mr. Beddler: Who did it then? Are 你 saying that some russian spy showed up out of nowhere, and put it on my car?
Wheel Bearing: He didn't 显示 up out of no where. Only Pinkie Pie can do that.
Edwina: She just did it too.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget this. I'm getting 橄榄 to come work for us again.
Audience: *Clapping*
Mr. Beddler: And 你 don't have to clap!
Cutlass Supreme: But we weren't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Who's laughing? *Looks at audience* Hi.
橄榄 got her job back, and was very pleased about it.
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
Canterlot High School, in the 小马 world, not that Equestria Girls crap.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Okay anypony, today we will be learning about-
James: How our school is going down the drain.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Why do 你 think it's going down the drain?
James: I'm not sure if 你 noticed, but this is a high school. I've seen students that are under the age of ten. Who the hell would run a school like that?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: I'll be doing the teaching, thank you.
James: I wish I could say I was welcome, but I'm not.
Gary: Ms. Schultz, 你 look like somepony that works at a bodyshop with me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, for the last time, 你 don't work at a bodyshop.
Gary: Yeah I do. 你 were there with me, and so was this other 小马 that looked like Brianna.
Audience: *Laughing*
Brianna: I don't know anything about cars.
Ms. Schultz: Well we won't be learning about cars in this class, because this is everypony's 最喜爱的 subject, math.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I hate math.
Ms. Schultz: Well, 你 can calm down-
Gary: *Angry* DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: If 你 shout like that again, 你 will go to the principal's office.
Maria: What's that like?
Ms. Schultz: Try, and imagine hell, but the flames, and hot temperature is replaced with boring phone calls, and 壁纸 that's out of 日期 由 forty years.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Now, grab your books, and do all the problems on page 91.
Gary: 嘿 Ms. Schultz?
Ms. Schultz: You're not gonna shout again, are you?
Gary: No, but not only do 你 look like a 小马 that I work with at a bodyshop, but 你 also look like this 小马 that I was with in a dream.
Ms. Schultz: Tell me about it.
Gary: I was imagining myself as Harry Potter in his early 30's, and your replica was the wife.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Interesting. Now, please do the math problems.
Lauren: Ms. Schultz, I have a question.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: This math problem is really difficult, and I can't figure out the answer.
Ms. Schultz: What is it?
Lauren: 2 plus 2.
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Ms. Schultz: The answer is 4.
Lauren: Thank you.
James, and Gary were exchanging looks at each other while doing their work. They had something planned to disrupt the class.
Gary: *Looking at Lauren* 你 smell like shit.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lauren: *Surprised* I'm offended!
Gary: Please, be offended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, go to hell, I mean the principal's office.
Gary: What's the difference?
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Farewell everypony. It was an honor being with you. *Leaves classroom*
Audience: *Clapping*
Maria: *Impersonating the announcer* On the 下一个 part of this episode, we notice that Princess Celestia's life starts going downhill.
Ms. Schultz: Shut up Maria, and get back to work.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic 彩虹 as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia: *Sitting at her 台, 办公桌 in her office*
Timothy: Princess, I trust that 你 enjoy this desk, we worked real hard to make it.
Celestia: Thank you. Now, I need to know about Twilight Sparkle. She has betrayed me too many times now, and we must find her.
Timothy: I regret to inform 你 that she has not been found, but I did find a penny.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: It was heads up too. We should be able to find her easily now.
Celestia: It's clear to me that you're not a good informer. I need someone 更多 intelligent like...
Derpy: *Arrives* Hi Princess. Here's your pizza.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: You're my new informer.
Derpy: Yay!
Audience: *Clapping*
Celestia: Timothy, go back to whatever it was 你 were doing.
Timothy: *Walks away*
Derpy: What should I inform 你 about?
Celestia: 你 tell me if 你 found Twilight Sparkle 或者 not. She is a traitor to Equestria, and must be captured.
Derpy: I thought 你 were only supposed to capture flags.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: No, 你 find Twilight Sparkle, and tell me about it. 你 also inform me about anything important.
Derpy: Okay.
The 下一个 day.
Celestia: *Sitting at her desk*
Derpy: 你 are Princess Celestia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I don't need stupid losers like 你 telling me that.
Audience: Aw.
Celestia: Of course I'm Celestia! Who else would I be? The prime minister of Canada?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I don't see why 你 would waste time in telling me that I'm the princess. I know I'm Celestia. Go tell Twilight Sparkle that she's Twilight Sparkle.
Audience: *Laughing*
The 下一个 day.
Celestia: *Walking upstairs*
Bryan: *Sees Celestia* 嘿 look, it's Nicole Oliver.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: I am Princess Celestia 你 nincompoop.
Jonathan: I object to 你 saying you're the princess.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: 你 can't object my identity!
Jonathan: But you're Nicole Oliver.
Celestia: *Ignoring the others, and goes upstairs*
The white alicorn got to her office, and sat down at her desk, when Derpy arrived.
Derpy: I'd like to inform 你 about something important. 你 are not the real Princess Celestia.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What do 你 mean I'm not Princess Celestia? Of course I am. 你 dare 问题 my identity? To hell with you. I'm already dealing with other ponies saying that I'm Nicole Oliver, and I don't need others telling me I'm not Celestia. Why don't 你 go inform Twilight?
Derpy: Because 你 told me to capture her.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Falls asleep, and falls on the floor*
Meanwhile on the block.
Master Sword: Well, today has been fun, but it's time to go home. My laundry is going to catch on 火, 消防 if I leave the washing machine running.
Tom: How is that possible?
Master Sword: It's really old.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Well, so long. And, enjoy the rest of your day.
Astrel Sky: *Imitating a Radio Disk Jockey* This is Astrel Sky, signing off.
Audience: *Clapping, cheering, and whistling*
The End
Song: link
Double Scoop: Okay, that's it for now. We'll be back at 12:30 with the 秒 half of our show.
