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When I was born, I was 给 a choice - A big dick 或者 a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

A wife is a sex object. Every time 你 ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but 下一个 to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is...

Tis is BS -_-

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make 爱情 to 你 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a 列表 of why I didn't succeed 更多 often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache 或者 backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late 显示 - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo...

Just goes to 显示 how differently men and women look at things...

HER DIARY

Saturday night I thought he was 表演 weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my 老友记 all 日 long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he 说 nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He 说 it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way 首页 I...