Ways To Humiliate, Annoy 或者 Infuriate Ronald Weasley.
(These work best if 你 are a Slytherin.)
1. “DAYWALKER!”
2. Give him Clearasil wipes for his birthday.
3. Paint his room maroon when he isn’t looking.
4. Tell him Emerson’s considering making a 移动 on Hermione, then look sympathetic and explain that 你 understand why he’s threatened, Emerson’s so... so...*dreamy sigh*
5. Depending on how badly he takes it and how funny 你 think it is, repeat number 4 with Harry/Draco/Dean/Michael Corner/Lockhart/Crabbe/Goyle/Snape/Sirius/any 随意 boy 或者 girl from Hogwarts, every few hours.
6. Nicknames and lots of them. Carrot top, Ginger nut, Duracell and Ginger Minger being but a few.
7. Write them in big letters all over the school.
8. “Weasley Is Our King”- the Slytherin version, of course, off key in the middle of the Great Hall.
9. “You know what they say; a little owl means a little... brain...”
10. Tell him that, even though his Mummy loves Harry better, you’ll always be there as a shoulder to cry on.
11. Tell him that Hermione doesn’t want Lavender’s sloppy seconds.
12. Ask him if his nose gets in the way when he eats.
13. Fill a water gun with suntan lotion, and follow him round on sunny days squirting him every five minutes. When questioned, tell him in a lofty voice “Skin cancer kills!”
14. Tell him that he’s been shortlisted for the all-time Best Useless Sidekick award...
15. But that he 迷失 to Robin. It’s a cruel world...
16. Ask him if he’s sad that he was the baby his parents wanted to be a girl...
17. And then say “Oh well, I’m sure 你 were an OK substitute until Ginny came along!”
18. Handwrite a smutty 德赫 fanfiction from Hermione’s point of view, and scatter various pages anywhere 你 think he’ll stumble across them... Draco/Ginny could work just as well, as could Harry/Hermione. Or, even better, all three!
19. Ask him if he swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro when he was a child.
20. Ask him if he has to have his shoes specially made, 或者 if he just borrows Hagrid’s.
21. Ask him if Ginny had to work in a brothel to pay for her school books.
22. Give him a big, fluffy maroon 蜘蛛 and a special packet of all-corned-beef-flavour Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans for his birthday.
23. Get the twins to invent a kind of sweet that turns your hair ginger. Spike all the 南瓜 果汁 with it at breakfast. When everyone suddenly turns ginger, leap onto the 表 and scream “It’s WEASLEY! He’s CONTAGIOUS!”
24. Get Madam Pomfrey to hospitalize him for spattergroit.
25. Tell him that L’Oreal want him to be the “before” in their latest “before and after” ad.
26. Tell him 你 know exactly how he can get a 日期 for the Yule Ball. When he looks all hopeful and asks how, tell him to Polyjuice himself into Harry...
27. “You know, I never realized, but apparently it was Lavender who dumped him. He shouted out ‘Draco’ in the middle of sex...”
28. Transfigure a whole pile of Playwizard magazines to 显示 Ginny on the cover, and then leave them all over the school.
29. Tie his 扫帚 to the ground with fishing line, so when he tries to take off he ends up shooting off the end.
30. Petition Dumbledore to make “Weasley Is Our King”- the Slytherin version- the new school song. The man’s a nutter, of course he’ll agree!
31. Tell him that Hermione decided to go out with Cormac because he has a holiday 别墅 in the Maldives and she didn’t much fancy living in a family-sized pigsty.
32. Tell him he might want to go and tell Ginny that McGonagall’s looking for her, her order from Gladrag’s fetish section just came through.
33. When he goes purple and asks 你 where she is, say that 你 last saw her heading off towards the Room of Requirement with Dean. 或者 was it Michael? It could have been Blaise Zabini, now 你 come to think about it, he looks like Dean from behind...
34. Tell him 你 爱情 his 万圣节前夕 costume; when he says he isn’t wearing one, laugh and say “Oh, what, the dirt-poor orphan look is intentional?”
35. Spread a rumour around school that his Boggart is his mother.
36. Send him a Howler ostensibly from his Auntie Muriel berating him for stealing her clothes and informing him he will pay for those high heels he stretched out with his enormous feet!
37. Intercept him after he lands the flying car in Chamber of Secrets and tell him that Ginny’s been made a Slytherin.
38. Get her to play along with it for a few weeks: hanging out with Malfoy, getting 给 points from Snape, talking loudly that she had no idea what could be done with a length of rope and a few paddles until her first Slytherin Party...
39. Transfigure all his Chudley Cannons merchandise into Holyhead Harpies merchandise.
40. Transfigure all his Chudley Cannons action figures into Viktor Krum action figures.
41. Tell Ron Hermione was doing something extremely inappropriate with 说 action figures last week in the Girls’ Dorms.
42. Get everyone to start calling him Roonil Wazlib, including the teachers and his parents. Hopefully it’ll go on for long enough that he starts accidentally using it himself, and poor little Hugo and Rose will have to put up with being the Wazlibs for all eternity.
43. Charm the Mirror of Erised so that it shows Ron as a girl: he’ll never be right in the head again.
44. Tell Ron that they got it the wrong way round in Goblet of fire. Hermione was what Harry would miss the most, and he was what Krum would miss the most.
45. Make sure 你 say this within earshot of Rita Skeeter.
46. Make sure Slughorn throws a party on Ron’s birthday, invites everyone but him, and says they’ll all get detention if they don’t go. Go to the common room, where he’ll be sitting dejected amongst uneaten party food, and tell him that everyone else would have come, but Malfoy had managed to get hold of some Firewhiskey so everyone decamped to the Slytherin Common Room.
47. Slip some Veritaserum in his 南瓜 果汁 and ask him, at the breakfast table, what he really thinks of Snape/Hermione/Lavender etc. Make sure everyone hears this. Use a Sonorous Charm if 你 have to.
48. Spike one of his drinks with out-of-date Felix Felicis.
49. “Your middle name’s Bilius? What, were your parents drunk?”
50. Polyjuice yourself into Professor Trelawney. All sorts of fun can be had. Just to start off: Hermione will marry Krum, Ginny will marry Draco, Harry will name his 秒 son after Voldie (hehehe), and he will end up as Harry’s employee (more hehehe-ing!) ... just use your imagination!
(These work best if 你 are a Slytherin.)
1. “DAYWALKER!”
2. Give him Clearasil wipes for his birthday.
3. Paint his room maroon when he isn’t looking.
4. Tell him Emerson’s considering making a 移动 on Hermione, then look sympathetic and explain that 你 understand why he’s threatened, Emerson’s so... so...*dreamy sigh*
5. Depending on how badly he takes it and how funny 你 think it is, repeat number 4 with Harry/Draco/Dean/Michael Corner/Lockhart/Crabbe/Goyle/Snape/Sirius/any 随意 boy 或者 girl from Hogwarts, every few hours.
6. Nicknames and lots of them. Carrot top, Ginger nut, Duracell and Ginger Minger being but a few.
7. Write them in big letters all over the school.
8. “Weasley Is Our King”- the Slytherin version, of course, off key in the middle of the Great Hall.
9. “You know what they say; a little owl means a little... brain...”
10. Tell him that, even though his Mummy loves Harry better, you’ll always be there as a shoulder to cry on.
11. Tell him that Hermione doesn’t want Lavender’s sloppy seconds.
12. Ask him if his nose gets in the way when he eats.
13. Fill a water gun with suntan lotion, and follow him round on sunny days squirting him every five minutes. When questioned, tell him in a lofty voice “Skin cancer kills!”
14. Tell him that he’s been shortlisted for the all-time Best Useless Sidekick award...
15. But that he 迷失 to Robin. It’s a cruel world...
16. Ask him if he’s sad that he was the baby his parents wanted to be a girl...
17. And then say “Oh well, I’m sure 你 were an OK substitute until Ginny came along!”
18. Handwrite a smutty 德赫 fanfiction from Hermione’s point of view, and scatter various pages anywhere 你 think he’ll stumble across them... Draco/Ginny could work just as well, as could Harry/Hermione. Or, even better, all three!
19. Ask him if he swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro when he was a child.
20. Ask him if he has to have his shoes specially made, 或者 if he just borrows Hagrid’s.
21. Ask him if Ginny had to work in a brothel to pay for her school books.
22. Give him a big, fluffy maroon 蜘蛛 and a special packet of all-corned-beef-flavour Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans for his birthday.
23. Get the twins to invent a kind of sweet that turns your hair ginger. Spike all the 南瓜 果汁 with it at breakfast. When everyone suddenly turns ginger, leap onto the 表 and scream “It’s WEASLEY! He’s CONTAGIOUS!”
24. Get Madam Pomfrey to hospitalize him for spattergroit.
25. Tell him that L’Oreal want him to be the “before” in their latest “before and after” ad.
26. Tell him 你 know exactly how he can get a 日期 for the Yule Ball. When he looks all hopeful and asks how, tell him to Polyjuice himself into Harry...
27. “You know, I never realized, but apparently it was Lavender who dumped him. He shouted out ‘Draco’ in the middle of sex...”
28. Transfigure a whole pile of Playwizard magazines to 显示 Ginny on the cover, and then leave them all over the school.
29. Tie his 扫帚 to the ground with fishing line, so when he tries to take off he ends up shooting off the end.
30. Petition Dumbledore to make “Weasley Is Our King”- the Slytherin version- the new school song. The man’s a nutter, of course he’ll agree!
31. Tell him that Hermione decided to go out with Cormac because he has a holiday 别墅 in the Maldives and she didn’t much fancy living in a family-sized pigsty.
32. Tell him he might want to go and tell Ginny that McGonagall’s looking for her, her order from Gladrag’s fetish section just came through.
33. When he goes purple and asks 你 where she is, say that 你 last saw her heading off towards the Room of Requirement with Dean. 或者 was it Michael? It could have been Blaise Zabini, now 你 come to think about it, he looks like Dean from behind...
34. Tell him 你 爱情 his 万圣节前夕 costume; when he says he isn’t wearing one, laugh and say “Oh, what, the dirt-poor orphan look is intentional?”
35. Spread a rumour around school that his Boggart is his mother.
36. Send him a Howler ostensibly from his Auntie Muriel berating him for stealing her clothes and informing him he will pay for those high heels he stretched out with his enormous feet!
37. Intercept him after he lands the flying car in Chamber of Secrets and tell him that Ginny’s been made a Slytherin.
38. Get her to play along with it for a few weeks: hanging out with Malfoy, getting 给 points from Snape, talking loudly that she had no idea what could be done with a length of rope and a few paddles until her first Slytherin Party...
39. Transfigure all his Chudley Cannons merchandise into Holyhead Harpies merchandise.
40. Transfigure all his Chudley Cannons action figures into Viktor Krum action figures.
41. Tell Ron Hermione was doing something extremely inappropriate with 说 action figures last week in the Girls’ Dorms.
42. Get everyone to start calling him Roonil Wazlib, including the teachers and his parents. Hopefully it’ll go on for long enough that he starts accidentally using it himself, and poor little Hugo and Rose will have to put up with being the Wazlibs for all eternity.
43. Charm the Mirror of Erised so that it shows Ron as a girl: he’ll never be right in the head again.
44. Tell Ron that they got it the wrong way round in Goblet of fire. Hermione was what Harry would miss the most, and he was what Krum would miss the most.
45. Make sure 你 say this within earshot of Rita Skeeter.
46. Make sure Slughorn throws a party on Ron’s birthday, invites everyone but him, and says they’ll all get detention if they don’t go. Go to the common room, where he’ll be sitting dejected amongst uneaten party food, and tell him that everyone else would have come, but Malfoy had managed to get hold of some Firewhiskey so everyone decamped to the Slytherin Common Room.
47. Slip some Veritaserum in his 南瓜 果汁 and ask him, at the breakfast table, what he really thinks of Snape/Hermione/Lavender etc. Make sure everyone hears this. Use a Sonorous Charm if 你 have to.
48. Spike one of his drinks with out-of-date Felix Felicis.
49. “Your middle name’s Bilius? What, were your parents drunk?”
50. Polyjuice yourself into Professor Trelawney. All sorts of fun can be had. Just to start off: Hermione will marry Krum, Ginny will marry Draco, Harry will name his 秒 son after Voldie (hehehe), and he will end up as Harry’s employee (more hehehe-ing!) ... just use your imagination!
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended 由 me.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
由 Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as 你 say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink 盒式磁带, 墨盒 (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
你 need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the 最喜爱的 drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will 床, 床上 yours to command.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
由 Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as 你 say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink 盒式磁带, 墨盒 (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
你 need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the 最喜爱的 drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will 床, 床上 yours to command.
Ingredients
2 cups self-rising flour, 或者 plain flour sifted with 2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt (optional)
1/2 cup 牛油, 黄油 或者 margarine
1/2 cup fine granulated sugar
1 cup mixed dried 水果 (such as a mixture of moist packs of dried apricots, raisins and cranberries)
Finely grated rind of small orange
1 egg, beaten
3 Tbsp milk
果汁 of 1/2 small orange
Instructions
Preheat 烤箱 to 425 ºF.
Lightly grease baking tray.
Sift flour and salt together.
Using pastry blender, cut margarine 或者 牛油, 黄油 into the flour.
Add sugar, dried 水果 and 橙子, 橙色 rind.
Stir in egg.
Add 牛奶 and just enough 果汁 to make a stiff, sticky consistency that will stand in peaks when stirred with a knife.
Put walnut-sized heaps of mixture on baking tray.
Allow them to keep a rough, rocky shape.
Do not flatten 或者 smooth them.
Bake for about 10 to 12 分钟 或者 until golden and firm.
Cool completely on rack for flavor to develop.
2 cups self-rising flour, 或者 plain flour sifted with 2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt (optional)
1/2 cup 牛油, 黄油 或者 margarine
1/2 cup fine granulated sugar
1 cup mixed dried 水果 (such as a mixture of moist packs of dried apricots, raisins and cranberries)
Finely grated rind of small orange
1 egg, beaten
3 Tbsp milk
果汁 of 1/2 small orange
Instructions
Preheat 烤箱 to 425 ºF.
Lightly grease baking tray.
Sift flour and salt together.
Using pastry blender, cut margarine 或者 牛油, 黄油 into the flour.
Add sugar, dried 水果 and 橙子, 橙色 rind.
Stir in egg.
Add 牛奶 and just enough 果汁 to make a stiff, sticky consistency that will stand in peaks when stirred with a knife.
Put walnut-sized heaps of mixture on baking tray.
Allow them to keep a rough, rocky shape.
Do not flatten 或者 smooth them.
Bake for about 10 to 12 分钟 或者 until golden and firm.
Cool completely on rack for flavor to develop.
Well this is my 1st ever 粉丝 fiction. Hope you'll enjoy...
This is a very very short and sad story with a really happy ending if 你 know what i mean....:D
So here goes......
Once upon a time. a boy named Harry Potter fell in 爱情 with a girl named Cho Chang "at first sight" coz he knew it'll all over as soon as she opens her mouth*wink*.....
Anyways...they spent some time together and too soon(for Cho at least) Harry asked her:"will 你 marry me?"
Cho said:"no!!"
And that's how Harry began to live in peace and happiness!!!....
This is a very very short and sad story with a really happy ending if 你 know what i mean....:D
So here goes......
Once upon a time. a boy named Harry Potter fell in 爱情 with a girl named Cho Chang "at first sight" coz he knew it'll all over as soon as she opens her mouth*wink*.....
Anyways...they spent some time together and too soon(for Cho at least) Harry asked her:"will 你 marry me?"
Cho said:"no!!"
And that's how Harry began to live in peace and happiness!!!....
