哈利·波特 Club
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posted by Thecharliejay
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up 由 唱歌 海滩 Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say 你 taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him 花 when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If 你 ever need to say 'Like taking 糖果 from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that 你 have met chunks of cheese with 更多 cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress 你 with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' 或者 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, 你 look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out 金牌 stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did 你 even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little 心 here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give 你 written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.

36. Tell 你 think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say 你 'thought 你 were helping!'

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

51. 淋浴 him with confetti and rice, anytime 你 think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.

52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that 你 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the 最佳, 返回页首 of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'

57. Should 你 ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your 食物 and blow bubbles in your 浓情巧克力 milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him 你 know this great therapist in London....

63. Throw tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people 更多 evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start 唱歌 it whenever he is about to do 或者 say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'

73. Insist on 阅读 him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - 交叉, 十字架 your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do 你 really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'

80. Begin any 问题 你 ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated 由 him. Treat him as 你 would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at 随意 moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him 你 think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one 日 rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter 或者 Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help 你 with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'

100. Let him catch 你 trying on Death-Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

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posted by Flickerflame
I was asked to do this 由 lorythefangirl after I responded to her earlier one.

Pros
1. Most of them did believe they were choosing the winning side at the time
2. They would likely be killed if they refused, 或者 otherwise punished.
3. If they come from old pureblood families which share the Death Eaters' beliefs, joining up would help maintain family harmony
4. If they're naturally malicious it gives them an opportunity to kill and torture

Cons
1. Most people wouldn't want to be forced to murder. They might be pushed beyond their own limits, e.g. Draco Malfoy.
2. They'd get imprisoned in Azkaban if caught, 或者 could be killed in self-defence
3. Leaving isn't an option once you're in
4. After they lost, those who'd survived would lose favour even if they avoided punishment
5. Voldemort doesn't seem to be a nice boss
6. It's a story really, and in most stories, the bad guys do end up losing and being punished.
[Chapter 2] Diagon Alley: Ferrets and Pranks

The 下一个 few weeks just flew by. Maybe it was because I had something to look 前锋, 期待 to. Hermione and Ginny had been 写作 regularly. All of Hermione's letters were about how much we would have to do as N.E.W.T. students. She had scored eight 'Outstandings' and an 'Exceeds Expectations' and was still disappointed! That girl...she is just...extraordinary! Ron and Harry had done fairly well, failed only in two subjects. They seemed to be having fun at the Burrow, the four of them. Then Ginny 说 that Phlegm spoilt all the fun. At least they were...
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201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.
202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.
204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.
205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.
206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.
207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created 由 the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of MagicalCreatures Class.
208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not one and the same.
209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.
210. -Nor...
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The world around me was covered in a blanket of white. The magnificent trees towered over me making me feel small…so small. In spite of the snow on the ground and the surrounding areas, I didn’t feel cold. Apparently, I was somewhere near the Shrieking Shack, but that was forbidden! What I was I doing there, I do not know. As I examined the place, I saw a tall figure at a distance. He was clad in black, such a contrast to the surroundings. His skin was pale too, almost as white as the snow. He reached out his left hand towards me and I mimicked his action subconsciously. When I did so,...
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posted by jeniffer2200
Floo powder was invented 由 Ignatia Wildsmith in the thirteenth century. Its manufacture is strictly controlled. The only licensed producer in Britain is Floo-Pow, a company whose Headquarters is in Diagon Alley, and who never answer their front door.

No shortage of Floo powder has ever been reported, nor does anybody know anyone who makes it. Its price has remained constant for one hundred years: two Sickles a scoop. Every wizard household carries a stock of Floo powder, usually conveniently located in a box 或者 vase on the mantelpiece.

The precise composition of Floo powder is a closely guarded...
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posted by peppergirl30
I awoke the 下一个 morning to pandemonium.

''I CAN'T FIND MY DADA BOOK! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!''

As usual, Aimee wasn't prepared for the start of term. ''Just relax, Aimee, we'll find it.''

We searched the Dormitory, under beds, on beds, between blankets.. but no book.

''How could I lose it? I have DADA first this morning!''

''Just borrow one from the cabinets and order a new one, I dunno! It's obviously not here.''

Aimee was being grumpy now. ''I'll just write 首页 and see if I forgot it..'' She grumbled.

When we finally got all our stuff, Lizzie, Aimee, and I went into the Great Hall for...
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I've seen the HP films 更多 times than I can count but there are still some things that are hard to notice until you're like, "bajillianth" time watching the movies. I had an HP movie marathon recently, and I was so surprised 由 all the things I'd missed. Here are some that I noticed. (By the way, I didn't notice all of these--I don't think anyone could notice all this just 由 themselves--I only noticed some of them, and afterwards my 老友记 told me some things they noticed, to help with this article)

Philospher's/Sorcerer's Stone:
1) Harry is wearing the sweater Mrs. Weasley made for him in...
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This text is not meant as critisism to anyone, but only to ponder how much wizards/witches really differ from muggles, and how much of it is only a trick of mind.

In HP related discussions and wikipedia sites, there are often speculations and thoughts painting the magical folk as 更多 different from us than they actually are. I think such habit comes from how the 图书 give a extreme general image; as if the two groups of people had some sort of basic difference with their entire existance.
And I think that somewhat misleading image comes from how no one of the main character trio grew up in...
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posted by Twilight-girl-x
~Hope you’re all enjoying this so far, it does take me a while to update sometimes but I apologise for that. Tell me what 你 think in a review. Thanks.~

~Chapter 8~
~Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You’ll be alright
No one can hurt 你 now.~

The door to the empty building slammed closed as the edge of the 披风, 斗篷 as dark as the night it travelled in whipped through the gap. The owners in the flat above never even realising that someone had passed through their shop. The normally crowded village was empty and dark; the only lights were the result of a few of the still open pubs....
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posted by dawnisbeauty
Yep.You HP 粉丝 know the moment Im talking about.You know,that moment when Hedwig's Theme played for the last time,when 你 wanted to cry and cheer,scream and weep at the same time...that time 你 knew it was ending yet refused to accept it.That moment,when all the boundaries vanished,when we all rose together from different places,from different countries,we all came together,clapping,smiling and crying at the same time.That was the moment when we found that,nothing has really changed,despite everything that has.Amidst the thunderous applause and the shouts and cries in the theater all,we knew that there has never been anything like Harry Potter.And there never will be..and that the oak doors of Hogwarts will always 摇摆, 秋千 open to us in welcome...
WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU,HARRY...
posted by cutechibineko
Ways to piss off Lord Voldemort!
1) Steal his wand and tell him Nagini ate it.

2) Whenever he speaks to you, bow low and say, "Yes, sensei."

3) Replace your Death Eater mask with a Dark Vader mask & insist that, "Tom....I am your father."

4) Sign him up as a kindergarten teacher.

5) Tell him Dumbledore has a ring like his.

6) Tell him 你 are worried that his obsession with Harry Potter isn't healthy, & he should just confess his 爱情 for him.

7) Skip around Malfoy Manor rapping as loud as 你 can, "H to the A to the R to the R to the Y, what does that spell? HARRY!"

8) Follow him around all...
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