WARNING This 文章 might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a 粉丝 of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling 你 this because you'll read and 评论 anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' 爱情 leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like 你 did.
Edward, 你 think you're hot when 你 sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in 爱情 with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of 你 to fall in 爱情 with someone who is five 分钟 old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because 你 fell in 爱情 with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, 你 call yourself and your clan vampires? 你 guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of 你 not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, 你 barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think 你 should pay 更多 attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than 皇后乐队 Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, 你 think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your 屁股 on 火, 消防 in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, 你 do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, 你 have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than 你 in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave 你 an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for 你 kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a 显示 off as Edward. 你 think you're so pretty and all? Well 你 know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked 你 for is that 你 used to hate Bella. But yet again, 你 USED to hate Bella, 你 don't anymore so I don't like 你 at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for 你 Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if 你 ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but 你 didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy 熊 reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think 你 have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get 流行的 and cool 由 organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if 你 think you're cool you're wrong. I can call 费雷德 and George and make 你 guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If 你 have any 更多 additions, feel free to tell me in the 评论 and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' 爱情 leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like 你 did.
Edward, 你 think you're hot when 你 sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in 爱情 with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of 你 to fall in 爱情 with someone who is five 分钟 old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because 你 fell in 爱情 with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, 你 call yourself and your clan vampires? 你 guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of 你 not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, 你 barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think 你 should pay 更多 attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than 皇后乐队 Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, 你 think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your 屁股 on 火, 消防 in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, 你 do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, 你 have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than 你 in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave 你 an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for 你 kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a 显示 off as Edward. 你 think you're so pretty and all? Well 你 know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked 你 for is that 你 used to hate Bella. But yet again, 你 USED to hate Bella, 你 don't anymore so I don't like 你 at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for 你 Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if 你 ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but 你 didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy 熊 reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think 你 have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get 流行的 and cool 由 organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if 你 think you're cool you're wrong. I can call 费雷德 and George and make 你 guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If 你 have any 更多 additions, feel free to tell me in the 评论 and I'll add them to the letter.
