Story: "Don’t leave me behind"

Author: edwestwick (Ana)

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gossip girl 或者 used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has 蝴蝶 for and what if it’s too late?

I know the letter might not seem completely like something Chuck would write but he thinks he will probably never see her again so…

“And I keep my jealousy close,
'Cause it's all mine.
And if 你 say this makes 你 happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.”
"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" Fall Out Boy

Blair’s Pov:

As the door closed after me and Nate I started to think what I’m doing. Few hours 以前 I was sure I’ll just go with Nate, have fun like old times – not that we had much of it while we were together – and than spend the night in Chuck’s suite. Just like I told him:

“I don’t like it that you’re going with Nathaniel.” He 说 as we were laying together after our make up.

“I told 你 it’s just as friends.” really couldn’t he see that?

“But he told me he wants 你 back.”

“Why do 你 care so much? Are 你 jealous 或者 something?” we’re only sleeping together and he acts like I’m his few years girlfriend!

“Of course not. So I’ll see 你 after Cotillion?” he sounded strange. Like he didn’t like me dismissing idea of him being jealous. I mean he couldn’t be. I get it that he was at my birthday when he thought he has 蝴蝶 but it disappeared 由 now for sure.

“Sure.” After that we came back to our usual activities.

And everything was going good until Nate punched Carter. Than I came back and he was there. Did he really think I won’t figure it out?

“Where's Nate?”

“Nate was asked to leave, but here I am.”

“I know that look. It's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. 你 knew Carter was going to my house, 你 tipped off Gossip Girl... 你 ruined my Cotillion on purpose. 你 did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me which is exactly why 你 and I could never work”

I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think he cared about me. I guess I just got what I should knew will happen. It was just a game for him, I bet he’s fucking some whore right now. Just like you’re about to fuck Nate. No. Nate and I will make love. I 爱情 Nate. I have to. It’s not like Chuck loves me. He’s Chuck Bass! He doesn’t 爱情 anyone but himself. He doesn’t have butterflies, sleep with the same girl twice 或者 buy jewelry either. No it’s impossible! I can’t be in 爱情 with him! It was just fooling around. Than maybe it wasn’t for him I thought when I remembered one night.

After hours of our usual activities we were laying in Chuck’s bed. His hands were running over my body, touching every place he could find. He has his face in my hair and was 接吻 my neck. I never took Chuck for cuddling after sex type. Then how could anyone if he dismissed girl five 分钟 after? But I loved this new side of him and that I was the only one who got to seeing it. I heard him whisper something that sounded like”Don’t leave me” but I couldn’t be sure as I couldn’t see his face. I asked him about it but he just kissed me again so I brushed it off.

Guess he really cared about what we had. Not that it matters anymore, because after this I’m sure he hates me. Well he should. I didn’t even let him explain and ran to Nate without thinking twice. At this thought I pushed Nate away from me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just don’t think we should do this.”

“What?” he asked confused. At least he had a reason for once.

“I just…” fortunately I didn’t have to explain this to him since the doors opened and Serena burst in with hurry.

“S? What are 你 doing here? Shouldn’t 你 be with Cabbage Patch?” I asked.

“Blair I have to talk with you.”

“Sure.” We stepped outside leaving Nate alone.

“What’s going on S?”

“B 你 have to read this. I think Chuck’s leaving for good.” She handed me a letter.

“What are talking about S?” She couldn’t be serious. Leaving? I knew he would most likely get drunk and high with some sluts but couldn’t he do it here?

“Just read it I don’t know exactly what he meant but it didn’t sound good.”

“Where is he?”

“He left ten 分钟 ago. I was with Dan when he gave me this so I ran to give 你 this but I couldn’t find 你 anywhere.”

I ripped it open quickly and started reading.

Blair,

I don’t know why I’m 写作 this. 你 probably won’t even read it. Why would you? 你 have your dream life again and we both know I’m not in it. So why would 你 care about me? It’s not like 你 ever really did and I can’t blame 你 for it. My own father hates me and don’t give a damn about me so why would someone perfect like 你 do? I’m just one big fuck up. But since I don’t think I’ll see 你 ever again (sorry don’t think I’ll make it to your wedding) I wanted to let 你 know that however 不可思议的 it seems ever for me I think that I 爱情 you. I think I do because I don’t really know what it means. No one ever 说 it to me so how could I? But I 爱情 how 你 feel, I 爱情 your kisses, I 爱情 how 你 always challenge me and I loved our time together this past few weeks. And I would do everything to make 你 happy if you’d let me but I guess it’s Nathaniel’s job like it always was. I’m sure everything will play out just like 你 always wanted and don’t worry I won’t tell Nate anything. At least one of as will be happy. I bet you’d laugh at me if you’d ever read it. You’ll be right I’m 表演 like some pathetic ex. Not that I am one. Ok I’ll better end before I’ll make 更多 of a fool from myself.

Chuck

With each word I had 更多 tears in my eyes. How could I be so stupid to not see what was right in front of me all this time? Guess it’s right that 你 don’t see what 你 had until 你 lose it. Now I won’t even see him again. I can’t just let it happen.

“Blair is everything ok?” I heard Serena ask. Stupid Serena! Of course it isn’t!

“I have to go S. Tell Nate something.” I answered and started running towards exit.