CHAPTER 1 [continued]
nov. 23 1987
i sat there. puzzled. scared. i could feel my eyes starting to sting with the tears i should've cried when i was feeling the pain. i thought i could trust him! he was there for me when my mother died. he came around the corner. i sat still. barely breathing.
"hey beatiful" he 说 as if nothing happened. i just sat there.
"hello? i'm talking to you. listen i didn't want to. i had to." my thought was why he had to. i looked the other way. he started to stroke my hair.
" i 爱情 you." and he kissed my cheek. "come on. i'll take 你 home."
when i finally made it 首页 it actually felt good. i walked into the apartment door and took the elevator up. the footsteps i made in the hall were like a rythm that could not be followed. i entered the key into the hole. i looked up. there was a note. it read:
" hawk, i have taken your father to the rehab center. i will send 你 money. he will be back soon.
love, uncle george."
i took it off the door and crumbled it. it meant nothing to me. i could care less if he walked around the world for me. the door closed behind me as i walked toward the couch. then the phone rang. it was matt.
"hello?" i asked.
"hey.um i know that's it's kinda weird for me to call after what happened. but we need to talk"
he 说 this all in a way like his old self. i just stood there. breathing into the phone.
"hello? i know your there hawk. now please say something."
i 说 nothing.
"see now 你 wonder why i rapped you!"
that's when i spoke up.
"no! 你 rapped me because 你 wanted to! 你 wanted me to cry and scream!" the tears started to come again. then i looked out my window to see that he was there. "let me in!" he yelled.
" go away matt! please!"
"open the fucking window!"
the fright i was feeling i could not fight. i opened the window. he pushed me down.
" no i rapped 你 because 你 were always a bitch! always depressed so i wanted to make 你 happy."
"you call that being happy? matt i was screaming for help!"
"no 你 were screaming because 你 liked it!"
" no,no,no!!!!!!! not now, not ever!!!!!"
and i kicked him. he fell back. i ran into the kitchen. he followed.
" come here!"
"no go away!"
he made his way behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck. there he was again pulling me and his pants down. then i fought back. i grabbed a 刀 and stabbed him.
"ahhhhhh" he yelled as he fell. i backed away with the bloody 刀 in my hand.
" oh no matt!"
his eyes slowly closed. i ran to his side and rubbed his hair. what just happened? what did i do? i had to leave. now. and go far away. i took the 刀 and placed it on his chest.
"i 爱情 you." i 说 and left.
END OF CHAPETER 1
nov. 23 1987
i sat there. puzzled. scared. i could feel my eyes starting to sting with the tears i should've cried when i was feeling the pain. i thought i could trust him! he was there for me when my mother died. he came around the corner. i sat still. barely breathing.
"hey beatiful" he 说 as if nothing happened. i just sat there.
"hello? i'm talking to you. listen i didn't want to. i had to." my thought was why he had to. i looked the other way. he started to stroke my hair.
" i 爱情 you." and he kissed my cheek. "come on. i'll take 你 home."
when i finally made it 首页 it actually felt good. i walked into the apartment door and took the elevator up. the footsteps i made in the hall were like a rythm that could not be followed. i entered the key into the hole. i looked up. there was a note. it read:
" hawk, i have taken your father to the rehab center. i will send 你 money. he will be back soon.
love, uncle george."
i took it off the door and crumbled it. it meant nothing to me. i could care less if he walked around the world for me. the door closed behind me as i walked toward the couch. then the phone rang. it was matt.
"hello?" i asked.
"hey.um i know that's it's kinda weird for me to call after what happened. but we need to talk"
he 说 this all in a way like his old self. i just stood there. breathing into the phone.
"hello? i know your there hawk. now please say something."
i 说 nothing.
"see now 你 wonder why i rapped you!"
that's when i spoke up.
"no! 你 rapped me because 你 wanted to! 你 wanted me to cry and scream!" the tears started to come again. then i looked out my window to see that he was there. "let me in!" he yelled.
" go away matt! please!"
"open the fucking window!"
the fright i was feeling i could not fight. i opened the window. he pushed me down.
" no i rapped 你 because 你 were always a bitch! always depressed so i wanted to make 你 happy."
"you call that being happy? matt i was screaming for help!"
"no 你 were screaming because 你 liked it!"
" no,no,no!!!!!!! not now, not ever!!!!!"
and i kicked him. he fell back. i ran into the kitchen. he followed.
" come here!"
"no go away!"
he made his way behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck. there he was again pulling me and his pants down. then i fought back. i grabbed a 刀 and stabbed him.
"ahhhhhh" he yelled as he fell. i backed away with the bloody 刀 in my hand.
" oh no matt!"
his eyes slowly closed. i ran to his side and rubbed his hair. what just happened? what did i do? i had to leave. now. and go far away. i took the 刀 and placed it on his chest.
"i 爱情 you." i 说 and left.
END OF CHAPETER 1
Life is often like a fire, it dies out, and it does not last forever,
while some people hide behind smiles and joy, others embrace the fear, the fear that everyone drowns in, for fear is the one thing we can be sheltered by.
So as I 说 before, life is like a fire, it burns out, because it will not last, just like everything else in this world, the only remains left behind are the burning ashes.
Its hard to say whether 或者 but change will come to our lives on this earth, but if it does, it surly will not be in this lifetime.
while some people hide behind smiles and joy, others embrace the fear, the fear that everyone drowns in, for fear is the one thing we can be sheltered by.
So as I 说 before, life is like a fire, it burns out, because it will not last, just like everything else in this world, the only remains left behind are the burning ashes.
Its hard to say whether 或者 but change will come to our lives on this earth, but if it does, it surly will not be in this lifetime.
