"So," she 说 slowly, "You two seem like a happy couple. But tell me Tiana, is Naveen well equipped 或者 is that big 城堡 of his supposed to be compensating for something?"
"Beg your pardon?" asked Tiana.
"You know, the family jewels, are they the kind you'd want on an engagement ring 或者 the kind 你 mistake for a sequin from the Dollar Store?"
Tiana still looked unsure.
"Does he have a big penis?" 豌豆 rolled her eyes. "God, some of these goody-goodies just don't understand my metaphors. Anyway, what kingdom are 你 from?"
"Oh, I'm only royal 由 marriage," Tiana laughed. "I was a waitress before I met Naveen."
Pea's jaw dropped. "A waitress? That's one step up from being the bird lady Mary Poppins sings about. Geez, Naveen, I can't believe 你 settled for a commoner."
"What can I say?" chuckled Naveen, his voice sexy as usual. "I fell in love."
"It's just as easy to fall in 爱情 with a rich person as it is to fall for a poor person. That's what my mother always told me," answered Pea. "I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a peasant. Gross...no offence, Tiana."
"None taken," she replied, through clenched teeth.
Pea's words stung Conrad on the 心 a little bit because he had started to grow quite fond of her, although he didn't have a lot to offer. Just then, the four arrived at Mama Odie's hut in the bayou. The little old lady came swinging down a vine, laughing psychotically. She had sunglasses on her face and a snake on her shoulder.
"Are 你 sure she doesn't belong in the loonie bin?" 豌豆 asked Tiana. "She looks like a total whack-job."
"Well, well, well," 说 Mama Odie. "Tiana and Naveen, nice seein' ya again. The last time I saw y'alls 你 two were a couple of frogs turning human."
"You two were frogs?" inquired Conrad.
"Long story," answered Naveen.
"Listen, Mama Odie, I just need 你 to use your magic wand 或者 whatever it is 你 do and turn back time...bring me back to the time before I was exiled, when I was truly happy."
"Were 你 happy though, Pea?"
"Ugh! Yes!" 豌豆 was annoyed. "Why does no one believe me when I say I loved my old life, it's all I want!"
"Child, sometimes it ain't about what 你 want," replied the strange woman. "It's about what 你 need...Someday you'll figure that out. But until then, I can't help ya!" With that, she returned to her hut.
"We traveled all this way for that?" yelled Pea. "I could've gotten 更多 useful 建议 from Dr. Phil! God, this is hopeless!"
"Thanks for all your help guys," 说 Conrad politely. "I'm sure we'll be fine. See 你 around."
Tiana and Naveen waved goodbye and headed back to New Orleans.
"Pea," 说 Conrad. "I know that things are gonna work out in the end...I promise you. No matter what happens, I'll be 由 your side."
"Well, what are we gonna do?" asked Pea, fighting back tears. "Hmm...wait a second...I think I just thought of our 下一个 method of transportation..."
豌豆 and Conrad spent the 下一个 two and a half hours building a 筏 out of wood, branches, and vines.
Mama Odie watched proudly through her window from above.
"You know what?" she 说 to her snake. "I truly think she's gonna be okay. That princess is smarter than anyone gives her credit for."
(End Of Part 14)
