Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by OCFan123
AHHHH! I just got my C.A.T. Medel! YAAAY! To celebrate, I decided to write an 文章 about Breaking Dawn, since im not in school today!
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Okay. So I first got Breaking Dawn when I was a twi-hard fan, and I couldnt wait to read it! I was sure it would be great!
Boy, was I wrong.
The book was horrible. Just flat out horrible. I mean, I have read a lot of 图书 in my life than were not good, but this took the cake. Everything was just "blah"
I mean...characters were out of character, there was hardly even a plot, and I felt like I was 阅读 a cheap horror novel. I mean, through the whole thing I was waiting for a page that 说 "Heres the REALY story"! 你 can guess that didnt happen...sadly.

Now, the beginning starts with Bella whining(what else is new?) about her new car. Eh, nothing special happened, but then we get to Chapter 3...
Now a girl on 你 tube 发布 9 vidoes called "The Breaking Dawn Experince" and she mentioned this mistake.
Okay, so Bella is making 薄煎饼, 煎饼 for Charlie, being the little "good house daughter" she is. BUT then a few sentence later it says that Charlie is scowling into his cereal bowl.
Um...wasnt she just making him pancakes?
First mistake in this book.

Anyway, the wedding was boring. Like "there were 花 everywere" and "Bella looked gorgeuous".
Wow, I felt like I was there!
So after that, nobody else matters. Not Charlie, Renne, 或者 ANYBODY else. Eh, there just thrown to the side. Bella has Edward now, thats all that matteres.
*sigh*

Anyway, they go on there honeymoon...
你 know? This actually amuses me 更多 than it angers me. Because Stephanie Meyer should NEVER write sex ever again!
Ever.

Just 阅读 about Bella and Edward making love, made me feel like she was afraid to write it. Edward bites the pillows? Feathers are everywere? Bella has brusies all over her body? She wants him to make 爱情 to hr again? WTF?
The book started going way downhill from there.

But here is what ticks me off
Bella becomes pregenent.
...
...
...
Okay. Edward is a vampire. Vampire are suppose to be dead.
Meaning...
HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FREAKING SPERM!

I could only stare at the page for like about a couple of minutes. Because Stephanie is breaking the rules that she made in her own world. It just doesnt make any sense. At all.
Anyway.

The book goes to Jacob POV! Which of course, I couldnt be 更多 happy about, he's my 最喜爱的 character in the books. And weren't his chapter titles hilarious? They all made me crack up!
Okay, so the book was starting to become good again (thank 你 Jacob) but then we see Bella pregnent.

Just picturing how she looked in my head pregent made me dizzy...

BUT Edward, who is desperate for Bella not to die and wants to kill the deamon spawn of a baby, asks Jacob to have sex with Bella for she could have his baby instead.
No.
Just...no.
First of, the Edward we read about in the last 3 图书 would NEVER do that! Never. And he should repsect Bella opinion, no go behind her back like that.
And Jacob agrees to do it.
What?
Oh, and Bella was actually touches 由 this.
No comment.

Also, character like Alice, Emmett, Jasper, made like the smallest gust apperence! Characters with great potential, also get throw to the side.
Its just so sad.

Anyway, I was LOVING the chemistry between Jacob and Leah? Who esle thinks they would have been perfect together?
Oh, and Seth rocked! Where the hell has he been the past three books?

Then, Bella gives birth.
I think I almost pucked.
It was literally the worst thing I have ever read! So gross. The baby breaks her ribs and spines, theres blood everywere(and I mean everywere)and Edward has to rip her stomach to get the deamon spawn baby out.
Nasty.
Oh, and the baby name is Rennesme.
?
Lets pretend that the name is not compltely weird, stupid, and unoriginal.

I thought it couldnt get any worse, but I was wrong. Again.
Jacob the character I LOVE, imprints on Rennesme!
Um...is Stephanie on crack? What was she thinking? She's a BABY! Its just wrong? Not to mention Jacobs character was WAY out of character after that.

So Bella is now a vampire. Yay. Great. Did we really need like three page of her looking into the mirrior, happy shes so gorgeous.
Its really sickning. Now shes just compltely vain.

Okay, so Rennesme is the perfect baby, Edward and Bella have so much sex that had like nothing to do with the book, blah blah blah.

Then we hear that the Volturi's are coming! I was so excited! FINALLY! Some action!
But we dont get a fight.
We get a confromation.
A stupid, pointless, confromation.
After that, I was thinking about going to Stephanie house and buring it down. Seriously.

So no battle. No fight. Nobody fights to get what they want. At all.
Biggest letdown in the whole book. And there was a lot.

Oh, and Edward calles Jacon "My son."
Who did not throw there book at the wall?
And, then we get the perfect fairy tale ending with the most chessiest line ever "And then we drifted into this perfect peice of our forever."
Gag. Me.
--
Bottom line, it was just a huge letdown. One of the main reasons I started disliking the series.
Peace!
A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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rotten tomatoes 显示
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but 更多 often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would 吸血鬼 go to high school?”, 或者 “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, 或者 can be logically theorized. These are usually followed 由 “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, 或者 “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, 或者 my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if 你 don't mind the lulz.
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aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to 编辑 it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish 或者 discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...
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added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete 狼人 have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
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贝拉·斯旺
斯蒂芬妮·梅耶
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I think this spot and the majority of it's members have worked to ensure that when we talk about things we dislike about the series it's things we feel strongly about 或者 have an actual point to make, not just mindless hating and that when we poke fun we try to keep an eye on the line between fun mockery and plain rudeness, even though that line can be debatable 或者 hard to see. Still, there are some cases when I can see 粉丝 feeling left out, singled out 或者 wanting out completely, and I don't like that. Part of the problem is something us antis can't really help with, which is that not many...
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added by Cinders
Source: RadRad @ 潮流粉丝俱乐部
I'm just sayin' Bella is one of the worst role 模特 ever when it comes to love, sex and life choices and should not have allowed to be published in any shape 或者 form. I mean, when she's made the heroine of the story and marketted at teenage girls.

1. She's obsessively in 爱情 with a control freak stalker.

Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of the Twilight fangirls are too with the very same freak.

2. She wants him so bad that she'll abandone everyone else she loves so that she could be with him. Even when it means she'll practically have to become a blood-drinking corpse.

(The movie 'Eclipse'...
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 Credit: Very Demotivational
Credit: Very Demotivational
I felt a compelling need to write this 文章 because recently I have found myself 更多 constantly thrust into situations and debates where I have to defend the Harry Potter fandom against the Twilight fandom, which I despise so much. My best friend and her family are actually major pro-Twilight fans. This past evening made me realize that there are so many reasons why Harry Potter is much 更多 awesome than Twilight, and its not just the obvious ones either. Thus, I give 你 all the evidence 你 will ever need to successfully pwn a Twilight 粉丝 trying to bring your fandom down.

Obvious Reasons...
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 OMG she totally 偷了 that 苹果 from Adam and Eve!!!
OMG she totally stole that apple from Adam and Eve!!!
The people on this spot who know me will be aware I'm an anti, but I think a part of using this spot fairly means me not only talking when I have something against Twilight, but also fessing up when I don't think Meyer/the books/actros/etc are in the wrong. I've heard a lot about how many of Meyer's plot points are too similar to those in other vampire/fantasy stories. Well, that's never the way it's put. It's usually closer to "she totally ripped off _____. That's a stolen idea!" and I wanted to talk about why I actually disagree with most of those accusations. I say 'most of' and not 'all...
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1:57-2:44 Have I 说 how much I 爱情 this man?
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爱德华与贝拉
added by bendaimmortal
Source: 由 BratPrinceFan at DeviantArt
added by Mallory23
Source: http://www.forksforum.com/twilight
posted by Dragonsphere
Twilight vamps&other people;

Don't have fangs,
sparke in sunshine,
live on animal blood and call themselves veggies,
don't have a lumpy face,
live in really rich mansions(?),
don't have souls but are completely lame like rehabilitated drug-users(that never took drugs),
Can't be staked
Are looked (from the fangirls view)upon as superior beings that don't hurt anyone and call themselves dangerous
Stalk young girls only to seem romantic
Fall inlove with small children and beg to be their lover while they are like 16(just 12)
Don't belong in sassy teenage crap that is pure drama

They arenot vampires...
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