Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by JacobbBlackk
I am totally ignoring Breaking Dawn in this because Stephenie Meyer broke all the rules in there. [Vampires cant have children, they have no body fluids, etc etc]
Reasons i think Jacob is better for Bella than Edward is:
1. Edward/Bellas relationship is based on appearance. She is constantly talking about how good he looks, how velvety his voice is, how graceful he is, etc. She 说 Jacob was beautiful once 或者 twice and called his new muscles impressive once 或者 that she is jealous of his tan skin. She thinks Edward is too good for her because she looks plain 下一个 to him. She thinks Jacob is too good of a person for her.
"[About Edward] the contrast between us was painful. He looked like a god. I looked average, even for a human."-Page 65 New Moon
"[About becoming a vampire] I hoped I would be as strong, fast and most of all beatiful, someone who could stand 下一个 to Edward and feel like she belonged there." -Page 344 Eclipse
"Id never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob" Page 60 Breaking Dawn
"[About Jacob] I wondered if he was just to proud of his new muscles that he couldnt stand to cover them up. I had to admit, they were impressive-but id never thought of him as vain."-Page 215 Eclipse
2.Edward is controlling.
-Taking apart her truck to "protect" her. She is in 更多 danger around him and his family than she is in La Push.
-Has Alice keep her hostage while he is gone so she cant see Jacob.
-Not letting her see her friends.
-Deciding everything for her(what college she goes to, what car she drives, where and when she goes places, etc)
-Manipulating her. He is constantly 接吻 her to distract her from arguments.
-Lying to her. He kept Alice's vision a secret.
-An example of him being controlling:
"'Get in Bella'
I didnt answer, I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching the truck before he could catch me.....
'I'll just drag 你 back' he threatened,guessing my plan" -Page 104 Twilight
3. They only met and dated because he liked her blood andwas interested in why he couldnt read her mind and she only dated him because he was good looking and mysterious. If he wouldve been able to read her mind, he wouldve blown her off like he did to Jessica.
4. Shes happy with Jacob. She is always laughing and having a good time. She can finally be a normal teenager. With Edward, she has to act grown up all the time and watch what she says so she doesn't upset him.
"As we walked, I felt myself settling into another version of myself, the self I had been with Jacob. a little younger, a little less responsible" -Page 101 Eclipse
5.If 吸血鬼 never existed, Jacob and Bella wouldve been together.
6.She almost chose Jake at the end of New Moon before Edward acted like a pyscho and went to Italy.
"[About giving Jake a chance]Maybe it wouldnt feel like betrayal. Besides, who was i betraying anyway? Just myself" Pahge 411 New Moon
"It wouldnt be easy. In fact, it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be grown up. But maybe i should do it. Maybe i could if I had Jacob" Page 372 New Moon
7.If it werent for Jacob and the pack, Victoria wouldve killed Bella in New Moon when Edward left. Edward is always putting her in danger.
8.When Edward is away, Bella sees sense.
"[About cliff diving/dying] What if something happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? -Page 371 New Moon
But when Eward is with her, Bella forgets everyone and doesnt think of the consequences of any of her actions. She worries about what would happened to her father if something happened to her if she died. But, isnt it the same thing if she were to become a vampire? She would have to give him up.
"[About becoming a vampire] As long as I could have Edward, what else mattered?"
9. Their relationhip is extremely unhealthy. They are obsessed with eachother. Edward even calls Bella his own "personal brand of heroin".
10. Bella loves warm, sunny places like phoenix. If she were to be a vampire, she can never live in places like that ever again.
11. Edward selfishly takes eveything away from Bella if he were to turn her. Her family, the abiltity to have kids, to grow old. Bella is too young to make that decision. She might get like Rosalie who is depressed because she can never hae kids 或者 grow old. If he realy truly loved her, he would leave and let her have a normal happy life.
I don't like Twilight. I find the characters shallow; the plot boring and cliche; and the hidden messages frightening. But in the hands of another 作者 - someone who wouldn't let their religious upbringing, their misogynistic views, and their twisted romantic ideals colour the story - it could have been really fantastic.

First off, the grammar would have to be fixed. The purple prose minimised and the 总体, 整体 写作 polished up.

Next the characters would have to be made realistic, their actions have an effect on the plot, and their history an effect on them.

Take Rosalie, for example. If Rosalie's...
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posted by renrae
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. She's the blond girl in twilight. The one tricked 由 a modeling scam, the one that hates Bella. We first meet Lauren in the cafeteria, I believe. Almost all Twilight 粉丝 do not like her. I mean no disrespect to the ones on this spot 或者 any others, but I do not think she has a reason to be hated. Reasons people give for hating Lauren are similar to the reasons for hating Jessica. "She's rude", "She's mean to bella and stupid", even "she's blond." That last one made no sense to me. The reason Lauren "hates" Bella is because her crush, Tyler, is infatuated with...
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posted by RonGetYourWand
There are some core things about the mythical creatures I wish Meyer would have 给 an actual explaination for:

Vampires

1. Turning into bats

She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.

2. Sleeping in a coffin

How about that having something to do with them faking their own death 或者 something?

3. Lack of Fangs

An evolution over time to adapt.

4. Sunlight

Related to the fact 吸血鬼 are considered to be connected to the devil.

Werewolves

1. Full-Moon

They meet at the full-moon.

2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the 狼 have this)

It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.

3. Pack- Mind

Evolved trait 或者 even a gift from the spirits.
posted by AliceHaleCullen
I'm so glad to have found a spot that isn't full of people gushing over how hot Robert Pattinson is. Since the movie came out, the original idea of the series has deteriorated.

I used to feel proud to call myself a 'Twilight' fan. I first read it in 2005, and to be quite honest I loved how nobody had read it, it seemed really special. So called 'Fans' who now go around using the word 'Twilighter' just because they have seen the film have ruined it for everyone else.

Fair enough, it's nobodies fault it has been made into an overated hyped movie, but if they really understood what it meant before...
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added by nuxi
Source: Reasoning With 吸血鬼 Tumblr
Despite whatever impressions 你 may have garnered from the 标题 of this article, this is not about glorifying Twilight over His Dark Materials. It's about scolding the movie industry for giving New moon the green light while simultaneously giving The Subtle Knife the red light.

I know that Hollywood is a business, just as book selling is a buisness, above all else. The only time films are made for the sake of making films anymore is if they're independent. I admit that the occasional brilliantly artistic film makes it into the mainstream, and when it does, it's often recognized and lauded....
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I've talked about some of the things that crossed my mind when 阅读 Twilight in the past. Thoughts such as "when is Bella going to freak out about the Edward watching her sleep thing?" "Did that say sparkling? I've re-read that passage like, four times and it still seems to say sparkling" "Does Stephanie Meyer think deer is a vegetable? no, really does she? Does she think 你 can call yourself a vegetarian if 你 don't eat things like people 或者 those monkeys who know sign language?"
But those are valid thoughts that many people 阅读 the 图书 also thought (well, maybe not specifically...
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*I'll have mentions to actual 狼人 stories in here, so be ready for that

Even before Jacob and palls were called 'shapeshifters' (I'll get back to 你 on that, I am not letting go), we should have known they couldn't be. And here's why.

First off: the origin 或者 werewolves.

In the 年 60, 70 people started believing in werewolf lore. The oldest myth I know about this is Ancient Greek, Lycaon.

Lycaon invited the king-god Zeus to dinner, but he was unsure if it really was him, so he decided to serve Zeus human meat. Turns out, it was Zeus. And Zeus was ticked. So he killed Lycaon' 50 sons...
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posted by Aquilia
O Tempora o Mores
Oh the times, oh the customs


This 文章 is an appeal to all Twilight 粉丝 out there, I invite 你 all to think over your good and bad actions here on 潮流粉丝俱乐部 and contemplate them.

I have seen and compared examples of the appearances of the fandoms Harry Potter and respectively Twilight when criticism appear in each other’s sites on 潮流粉丝俱乐部 and I am astounded 由 the comparatively aggressive tone the Twilight 粉丝 carried when they respond to the 说 criticism.

Compare the responses of: link

And: link ;

Notes are to be made that both internet addresses were found 由 searching...
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Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The 下一个 day.

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The 日 after that:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen 或者 my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You 偷了 this!'].
posted by RobynPotter
{i did not write this myself, but i found it ridiculously funny and thought it needed to be 发布 here}

Book 1. Twilight:
Edward: Hey.
Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
Edward: Roar.
James: Omnomnom Bella.
Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well.
Jacob: Oh, hi there!
Book 2. New Moon:
Edward: Oops, gotta go.
Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in...
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There are 5 things 你 need to know-

This 文章 is basically:
1. My story on how I got sucked into the Twilight Universe.
2. My life story on how Twilight has changed me. A lot.
3. A rant on why I like and hate about the series.
4. A confession on why I can't seem to get over with hating and loving it.
5. An opinion about how my life could have been without Twilight.

WARNING: Overall, this 文章 is about... why I think Twilight isn't that 'bad' after all. It's going to be lengthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This had me wondering for a while and to...
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I dislike the books, but after seeing image after image labeled "Twilight sucks", as well as 评论 after 评论 with the words, I'm beginning to see why we can be accused of being "haters."

"Sucks" is not a swear word. To say something sucks is not going to send 你 to hell. But it is derogatory, and immature, and does not lead to any real discussion. Well, unless some mature Twilighter comes along and say, "I see that 你 think Twlight sucks. Why?" That might spark discussion. But the twilighter has the upperground in that debate, considering the anti has already shown her immaturity by...
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posted by nessienjake
Created:~Alice~


Q: What to Edward and a 圣诞节 树 have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.



Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what 你 are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!



Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much 你 mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: 你 know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.



Q: How do 你 kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her 图书 and wait for two minutes.




Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward 你 suck!!!!
Whether 你 hate Twilight so much it fills 你 with a burning rage so powerful it's full extent can only be expressed through the medium of interpretive dance, 或者 爱情 it so much 你 plan to sail out to international waters to avoid those pesky laws that prevent 你 from marrying a book, 或者 perhaps even exist in the non crazy middleground between the two, overexposure can be a pain. Especially when it gets to the level where suddenly everything becomes linked to Twilight. 你 hear the name 'Edward', 你 think 'Cullen', the word 'sparkles' 你 think 'vampire', the words 'howler monkey' 你 think...
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Yes, it's true, everyone! Twilight has changed our world in several ways!!

No longer are streets near movie theaters and bookstores safe! I haven't seen even one free from screaming fangirls (and yes, screaming fanboys) when the new 电影院 come out and even after it's all been done for about a 月 或者 so. Yeah, there are still girls running around in "I <3 guys that sparkle" t-shirts carring on about how great the twilight movie was at the movie theater in my town.

The world now has fewer trees than ever before, just because there where over millions of pieces of paper used for the twilight...
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As the 标题 suggests out of boredom I made a family out of the kittehs here who I talk to most, giving kittehs roles within the family from how I view them.

God:
The God of the family is Bastet, She is mighty and furry, and I give Her daily offerings of cream, catnip and balls of yarn. All hail Her Glorious Fluffiness.

MomCat:
Everyone knows who MomCat is(if 你 don't its DearHeart), she's loving and kind and nurturing. She keeps us in line and makes sure RenCat(renrae) hasn't had too many blue Smarties.

GodCats (AuntieCats and GodMotherCats didn't sound right):
These two I view as funny and kind...
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posted by kayleebabee
this is a study i have conducted to ask what is the big deal weith twilight and edward cullen I asked my littlesister tasha what she thought of the global phenomenon that has all the worlds women gripped in an edward cullen orgasm.

Me: why do 你 think Edward Cullen is *shudders violently* hot?
Tasha: (I have made her 答案 sound like she has n intellectual brain cell through hours of trranslating twilight gibberish) I think it is mostly because he is unnatainable and perfect.
(what she actually 说 was: squeeeeeeee edward cullen i want him but cant have him because that 婊子, 子 bella is his...
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posted by monLOVEbrucas
Bella Sawn.... Hmmm.


If my bestfreind has loved me, kissed me, tried to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, i wouldn't be all cool with him loving my child.... including because she's young and his old.
Bella didn't react properly.
I wanted her to get really mad, i wanted Jacob to be banned from seeing Nessie, not have 10 分钟 go by, and his aloud to hold her again.

They say 你 dont choose love, 爱情 choose's you.
I believe in that but Reneseme, didn't get a choice? Somehow this imprinting thing assumes the person the wolfs are going to fall inlove with are going to 爱情 them back?

In twilight saga this is the thing i do not understand 或者 get no matter how much i try...
and I just felt the need to let that out 哈哈 even though i have so much 更多 i would like to let out.
Ever since its 最近的 creation I have not been able to stop visiting this spot (Not that it's a problem...haha). I decided to sit down and ponder and from my pondering came this list.

1. Everybody rates EVERYTHING.
I mean EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unrated and everyone always rates fairly.

2. The 论坛 are always buzzing.
I absolutely 爱情 visiting the forums. Someone is always there looking to chat and the 评论 are sure to put a smile on my face.

3. I can have intelligent and enjoyable conversations
I don't feel like I talk to someone and all they have to say is, "OMG 你 爱情 (insert...
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