Canada24's club.. Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!

Things were not going well for Equestria after the events of the 前一个 H.I.P story. A week after the war ended somepony assassinated the mayor of Ponyville. Then stallions started being sexist to mares. Even Doughnut Joe wouldn't let mares in his restaurant, but if they were to buy something Joe would just double the price for what they bought.

Two and a half years later things just got worse, a griffon appeared. It was someone named Gilda, and she seemed pissed, "I've had enough of these ponies. It's time to do something about them." Then she flew off. While doing so 彩虹 Dash appeared, "Gilda, what are 你 doing?" Instead of answering Dash's 问题 Gilda told her to fuck off, and gave her the bird. Right after that I appeared in my car. I wasn't the only one in Equestria to have a car anymore. Lots of companies started making cars for ponies to drive, some were Chevronet, Coltillac, Lunicorn, Dodge, Alfa Romaneo, Aston Maretin, Foallari, and Fillys. Every 街, 街道 in Equestria was paved, and full of cars. "Seems like Ponyville has improved." I said. "Yeah," Dash replied, "but what kind of 小马 would drive?" I didn't bother asking that question. 彩虹 Dash drove before so she shouldn't be complaining. Pinkie Pie drove my car before, and she liked it. I spent half an 小时 hanging out with 彩虹 Dash. She wanted me to throw her into the sky when we saw flying griffons. They were dropping bombs destroying stuff in sight. A few others came with guns, and started shooting ponies, one even cut off Lyra's horn, making her an earth pony. The first thing me, and 彩虹 Dash did was drive away from the griffons. "Are any of them following us?" I asked nervously. Equestria has gone to war against a few crazy enemies, including Nazis, and Discord, but this was insane. We are talking about a combination of a lion with a bird! So far no one was following us, but then Gilda got on my car. "What the fuck are 你 doing?!" I yelled in frustration. Gilda was scratching up my hood, and trying to shoot 彩虹 Dash. I grabbed Gilda, and threw her far away from us. We were now driving at 最佳, 返回页首 speed, 183 miles an hour. "There is no way she can keep up." I said. "And if she does I can totally take her on!" Dash added. Right, but first we had to find the rest of the mane six, and others. We drove to Canterlot 城堡 where we were told to meet up with Celestia. The front of the 城堡 was guarded 由 jeeps with machine 枪 on them. Soon we went in the castle, and saw Celestia standing with Twilight, and other ponies. "Hi guys." Twilight 说 when she saw us, "Hey." I 说 simultaneously with 彩虹 Dash. Celestia then begun to speak, "As you're all aware, griffons have bombed Ponyville, and other places in Equestria. We need your help to stop them. I sent my army into Baltimare to defend it from the griffons, and that's where they'll be waiting for you, the inglorious hedgehog." It didn't sound nice, but i really liked the nickname. "Allright." I said. We got a convoy of cars set up after we left Celestia. The convoy started with me, and 彩虹 Dash in my car, Pinkie Pie, and 苹果白兰地 in a jeep, Rarity, and Twilight in another jeep, and then a truck driven 由 Fluttershy. Shredder was sitting 下一个 to her, and six soldiers sat in the back. "Everyone ready?" Dash asked. Everyone was set, and Dash ordered us to roll out. After she 说 that Pinkie rolled out of the car she was in. "Why did 你 do that?" 苹果白兰地 asked. "Rainbow Dash gave me an order, and I'm not going to disobey her!" Yeah, pure randomness from Pinkie Pie as usual. When she got back in the jeep we continued into Baltimare. Once we arrived we saw three griffons set up a roadblock with two Alfa Romaneo's. "Lets blow them to hell." I said, simply turning on the headlights so I could launch a rocket into the cars in front of me. I wish those cars were something different, because blowing up two cool cars was something I didn't want to do. At least I killed three griffons. 由 the time we passed the roadblock there were 更多 griffons trying to kill us. Twenty five to be exact, but two of them were in the sky with machine guns, and dropping grenades. "Over here!" shouted a soldier. All of us got out of our cars, and ran towards the stallion that called for us. "What is it?" I asked... 你 know what? I don't know why the fuck I'm 写作 like this! IT'S GODDAMN BORING!! I oughta write like

person 1: hello
person 2: Hi

Expect me to write like that in the rest of my stories.

Previously a fight started in Baltimare involving ponies against griffons.

Griffon bomber: blow up the cars!
other GB: *blows up car*
Sean: Dammit!
Shredder: At least MOST of us have a way to escape.
彩虹 Dash: Kill the griffons already! *kills griffons*
Pinkie Pie: *shoots grenade held 由 a GB*
Sean: Good work Pinkie.
Griffon 3416: *attacks 彩虹 Dash, but gets her neck broken*
彩虹 Dash: That oughta teach 你 not to mess with me!
Canterlot soldier: They're retreating!
Sean: A few of them are heading into that barn.

So the eight ponies, and hedgehog check inside the barn.

Twilight Sparkle: I don't see anything.
Applejack: It all seems clear.
Canterlot soldier: How can 你 know for sure? Did 你 even look?!
Applejack: Yes, and there is no one there
Canterlot Soldier: I think you're lying bitch, *kicks support beam causing the floor to fall*
hiding griffon: Don't kill me!
Pinkie Pie: 嘿 that's Gustav.
Gustav: Don't kill me! I was here for the whole fight.
Canterlot Soldier: I told 你 there was someone hiding 你 dumb bitch!
Applejack: Will 你 stop calling me a bitch?!
Sean: *steps between the two ponies* allright enough with the sexism. Now Gustav, why were 你 hiding here?
Gustav: I didn't want to fight, but they made me come here. I figured if I stayed here then I wouldn't have to kill anyone.
Pinkie Pie: Gustav is nice even though I thought he ate Mmm.
Rarity: Oh not this again.
Pinkie Pie: Mmm is this cake I was going to enter into a desert competition until these three did it! *points at 彩虹 dash, rarity, and fluttershy.*
彩虹 Dash: Don't remind us!
Pinkie Pie: Fine! But you'll miss out on the assumptions, and flashbacks!
Twilight Sparkle: We should probably get going.

After the stuff that happened in the 谷仓 the eight ponies, and hedgehog left with Gustav.

Sean: Alright. Where are the griffons going to attack next?
Gustav: I think they 说 they would take Canterlot, and Manehattan.
彩虹 Dash: 你 think? If you're lying I'll kill 你 myself!
Twilight Sparkle: No 你 won't.
Pinkie Pie: Gustav is innocent, and wouldn't do anything bad to us.
Canterlot soldier: That's a surprise. You're all mares.
Rarity: What's that supposed to mean?
Sean: I told 你 to stop being sexist.
Canterlot Soldier: Fuck 你 hedgehog!
Sean: *kills soldier* He was getting on my nerves talking to 你 like that.
Applejack: 你 didn't have to kill him though.
彩虹 Dash: Yeah he did. That was awesome.
Sean: Thanks. We better go to Canterlot.

Eventually we all got to Canterlot and told Princess Celestia about the situation.

Celestia: OK. We'll need some jeeps 由 the castle. If any griffon appears, they'll get shot down.
Twilight Sparkle: Good plan. 你 may want to watch for some griffons carrying bombs however.
Sean: Yeah they blew up our cars.
Celestia: I have some of my soldiers that will shoot down any griffons carrying a bomb.
Rarity: What about Manehattan?
Celestia: You, Pinkie 彩虹 Dash, and Sean will go to Manehattan. The rest of 你 will stay here with me, and defend Canterlot.
Sean: Sounds good.
Fluttershy: Yeah.

Half an 小时 later my group get into an airplane for Manehattan.

彩虹 Dash: 你 ever gone skydiving before?
Sean: Don't tell me we have to jump out of the plane.
Pinkie Pie: Why?
Rarity: Are 你 afraid of heights?
Sean: Sort of. I got pushed out of an airplane once, and so did 彩虹 Dash. While I nearly died Dash got killed.
彩虹 Dash: So that's why 你 don't like sky diving.
Sean: Yeah, because 你 died.
彩虹 Dash: Shut up *laughs*

Ten 分钟 later we fly into Manehattan, but how does the parachuting work?

Sean: *looks out window*
Rarity: We're going to jump soon.
Sean: Why don't 你 three go first?
Rarity: That's nice of you.
Pinkie Pie: Green light go!

Soon the four of us jump out of the plane deploying our parachutes, getting ready to defend Manehattan from the griffons. Back at Canterlot

Twilight: Griffons!
Fluttershy: Oh my *trembling in fear*
Celestia: There's over a dozen of them! ATTACK!
ponies: *fire 枪 at griffons*
griffons: *fire back* FOR GILDA!!
soldier: *shoots machine gun*
Two griffons: *fall to death*
Applejack: They got bombs!
Twilight: *disarms bomb*
Griffon 3489: *kills three ponies*
Twilight: We have ponies down. Send an 救护车 over!
Luna: Ten 4. The 救护车 will be here in approximately 1 and a half minutes.
Sean: No griffons yet.
彩虹 Dash: I knew Gustav was lying!
Pinkie Pie: Then why are there griffons flying toward us?!
Rarity: Dammit! Gilda is with them
Gilda: Well well, if it isn't my ex best friend, and three 更多 lamewads.
Sean: Up yours asshole. *shoots griffons* 你 call that lame?
Gilda: Why didn't 你 shoot me?
彩虹 Dash: Were asking the questions.
Griffon 3489: Gilda! We are making progress on Canterlot.
Gilda: Copy that we just 迷失 Manehattan. *flies away*
Sean: That was easy.
Pinkie Pie: Back to Canterlot.

The four of us make our way back to Canterlot.

Celestia: We need backup, NOW!
Sean: At your service.
彩虹 Dash: The griffons didn't get Manehattan.
Celestia: Then who's guarding it?
Wasted pony: Dude. What if we were 动画片 drawn 由 humans?
Drunk pony: I'm not a human! Piss off. *falls on ground*

The fight for Canterlot is getting intense. Griffons are outnumbering us, but we won't go down without a fight.

Sean: 苹果白兰地 watch our six. *shoots machine gun at griffons*
Applejack: They're all over the place!
Pinkie Pie: I need 更多 ammo!
Sean: Just take my gun I got another one.
griffons: STOP! We have 你 surrounded. Ok hedgehog, take us to San Franciscolt.
Sean: And why should I?
griffon: TAKE US TO SAN FRANCISCOLT!
Sean: Chaos Control

Little did the griffons know that we ended up in a different place then they were looking for.

griffon: Cut the 独角兽 horns.
other griffons: *cut off Twilight, and Rarity's horn as well as Celestia's*
griffon: Now take us to the everfree forest
Sean: Chaos control

Once again I took them to a different place. We ended up in Hawaii, but the griffons didn't know that.

Griffon: Smash that gem
other griffon: *grabs chaos 翠, 翡翠 and smashes it*
Twilight: Now we have no way of getting out of here.
彩虹 Dash: Yeah, what were 你 thinking?
Sean: Something crazy *grabs and kills griffons*
Rarity: Now what about our horns?
Sean: We take a train from here into California.
彩虹 Dash: How?
Sean: 由 the 年 2020 England declared war against Germany for no reason. Then they attacked America. As a result the Americans helped Germany defeat England. There reward was a train bridge from Hawaii to San Francisco.
彩虹 Dash: How far away is the bridge?
Sean: About 5 miles
Rarity: What? I can't walk for five miles! IT'S TOO MUCH!!
Celestia: None of us want to walk for 5 miles either.
Sean: Rarity, I can carry 你 if 你 want.
Rarity: Ok.

After a history lesson with a dramatic scene the four of us walk towards the train bridge. 由 the time we get there we're in for a surprise.

We got to the train, and saw some griffons with 更多 unicorns.

Vinyl Scratch: Where are 你 taking us?
Griffon 3894: None of your business! Uh Gilda where are we taking them again?
Gilda: Across this bridge into San Francisco. Don't kill all of the ponies we need one unicorn to get back into Equestria.
Griffon 3894: Alright.
Griffon 3987: What about the bomb?
Gilda: Detonate it once 你 get the train across the bridge.
彩虹 Dash: A bomb?
Sean: This can't be good. We have to prevent that train from crossing the bridge.
Twilight: How?
Sean: 由 derailing it.
Celestia: But what about our horns?
Sean: Don't worry. We'll stop the train close 由 San Fran.

Celestia and the rest of my team sneak into the engine. I try to defuse the bomb before it goes off.

Gilda: Hey, I know you.
Sean: 你 do?
Gilda: Yeah your that hedgehog that I saw in Manehattan. I know what you're up to!
Sean: Really?
Gilda: 你 want to help me now!
Sean: Oh yeah i do. What do 你 need my help with?
Gilda: In case the ponies somehow end up in this car, I want 你 to protect this bomb.
Sean: Sure thing.

The train soon leaves Hawaii and gets on the bridge.

Gilda: *walks into prisoner's car*
柠檬 Heart: Let us out of here!
Gilda: 你 know saying that never works.
柠檬 Heart: We can find a way out if 你 don't let us leave.
Vinyl Scratch: We're not as "lame" as we look.
Roseluck: We aren't even lame at all.
Gilda: You're multi colored ponies. What isn't lame about you?
griffon 3987: Gilda! We have ponies driving the train!
Gilda: What?! *walks towards Sean* I need 你 to watch the prisoners!
Sean: Sure thi-
Gilda: STOP SAYING THAT!
Sean: *walks into prison car*
Gilda: *flies toward engine with other griffons*
彩虹 Dash: It's a good thing we have guns. *shoots griffons*
Rarity: How do 你 think Sean is doing?
彩虹 Dash: Don't worry about him, just shovel 更多 coal in the firebox. We have 你 covered!
Rarity: A beautiful 小马 like me shouldn't be doing this *shovels coal*
Twilight: Could 你 stop complaining for once?
彩虹 Dash: *shoots 更多 griffons* Just ignore her.
Gilda: 你 idiots keep missing!
Griffon 2398: Oh fuck off! At least we're actually doing something! *shoots Rarity's shovel*
Rarity: Finally I don't have to do anymore laboring.
Twilight: Not really, here is another shovel.
Rarity: NO!!!!!!!
Celestia: 你 have to otherwise we'll slow down.

Meanwhile in the prison car

Roseluck: Sean? What are 你 doing here?
Sean: The griffons think I'm on there side. Time to get 你 out of here.
Vinyl Scratch: Give me your gun
Sean: *hands gun to Vinyl Scratch*
Vinyl Scratch: Ok, time to fight back *makes copies of guns*
柠檬 Heart: Perfect.
Sean: Alright, Celestia needs your help at the engine. All of the griffons are attacking her, and she needs your help.
Roseluck: Got it. Let's go girls
Vinyl Scratch: What about you?
Sean: I've gotta defuse the bomb.
Vinyl Scratch: There's a bomb?!
Sean: Yeah, that's what the griffons want to use to kill 你 for some reason.
柠檬 Heart: We have to go.

The ponies, no longer imprisoned set off to help Celestia and the other ponies. How will things go from here?

The train is halfway across the bridge, and Griffons are trying to kill Celestia and other ponies at the engine, but back at Equestria

Luna: Where is my sister?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know! griffons kidnapped her!
Fluttershy: They took other ponies as well.
Luna: Well then lets get them back *turns Pinkie and Fluttershy into Griffons*
Fluttershy: We look exactly like griffons.
Luna: that's the idea.
Pinkie Pie: Now that were a different animal we must speak another language.
Luna: No 你 shouldn't.
Pinkie Pie: *spots Applejack* Ich werde 苹果白兰地 tauschen.
Applejack: Griffons!
Pinkie Pie: Hallo, Ich bin Pinkie Pie.
Applejack: Why are 你 speaking german, and how come you're a griffon?
Luna: I cast a spell to turn her into a griffon, and now she thinks she has to speak a different language.
Pinkie Pie: Ja.
Fluttershy: Ok that's enough.
Applejack: Fluttershy 你 two?
Luna: We're wasting time here! *teleports them onto the train*
Roseluck: Luna, what are 你 doing here?
Luna: Saving my sister, but let Pinkie and Fluttershy take care of this.
Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy: *kills griffons*
Gilda: Oh shit! 更多 ponies behind us. *kills Vinyl Scratch*
Griffon 4783: I thought that hedgehog was watching them!
Gilda: I thought so to.
Luna: Keep fighting!
Celestia: Luna! Why are 你 here?
Luna: To save 你 sister. We have to get off this train.
Twilight: But our unicorn horns are missing.
Luna: I can restore your horns now lets go! *teleports ponies back to Equestria*

They forgot me, this can't be good.

Sean: Almost done defusing it.
Gilda: What happened? Why are 你 trying to defuse the bomb?!
Sean: So the ponies wont die.
Gilda: Well they just left!
Sean: Goddamnit! *kills Gilda*
Other griffons: Freeze!
Sean: How about I burn instead? *detonates bomb*

The train has blown into smithereens, with all the griffons inside. I also destroyed the bridge.

Back at Equestria things were back to normal.

Song (Start at 0:15): link

Twilight Sparkle: Where did Sean go?
彩虹 Dash: I'm not sure. He must have gone down fighting the enemy.

The End of...


Copyright, 2013.
Grand Theft Auto has become one of the best selling games ever made, selling literally millions of copies and 更多 than games like Modern Warfare, Skyrim, Ocarina of Time, and even getting one up over Super Mario Bros. It just goes to 显示 that children really do give 更多 of a shit about GTA than Nintendo’s icon. But we’re not here to talk about GTA…. okay, we are, but not positively. We’re here to talk about the most hated characters in the game. Yeah, being in the criminal 黑夜传说 for five games and eight other ones with no numbers in it, you're bound to run into at least one...
continue reading...
video
tatro
1:
QUESTION: How do 你 hide a boner?
ANSWER: 你 get a girl to hide it in

2:
QUESTION: Is lion king based on a true story?
ANSWER: Yes cause I know LOTS of talking lions

3:
QUESTION: Is is normal to be in 爱情 with your dog?
ANSWER: 你 need to see a therapist

4:
QUESTION: What's a fun site for 13 年 old girls?
ANSWER: Redtube..

(redtube is porn site.. don't ask me how I know that)

5:
QUESTION: How did the cow milking routine get started?
ANSWER: I'm guessing there was a cow molester..

6:
QUESTION: How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
ANSWER: Lord help this woman

7:
QUESTION: How do I become sarcastic?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - 彩虹 Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's 超能英雄 - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland 显示 - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin with the intro

Theme song: link

Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity:...
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
Last chapter for the night.. It does contain one of my biggest "don't fuck with Johnny K!" moments...

-------------------------------------------------------------------


Johnny follows the compass, and before long it points to a waterfall, once at the location, he sees Buck again.

"Y -You put a tracker on me didn't you~!?" Johnny cried, offically creeped out.

"Hey, your my 最喜爱的 pupil" Buck said, getting closer, Johnny holds him back.

"Hey, keep away from me!" Johnny said, 展示 that this point Johnny is actually kinda frightened of Buck's ability of always appearing. It's almost supernatural....
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - 彩虹 Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's 超能英雄 - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland 显示 - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight was giving a lecture to everypony.

Twilight: Okay y'all. I'm the most important 小马 in this shithole of a town, and 你 know it. The fact that-
Pinkie Pie: *Running towards Twilight* Herr Kommandant!! Herr Kommandant!!
Twilight: Man, I'm in da middle of an important lecture!! Everypony wants to hear dis!...
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
So I have gotten a request from WindWaker430.. Review Adam Standler movies..

Well, least he's not making me watch Sebian Film again..

I suppose I could do this.. I like Adam Standler.. And thankfully, I don't have to review 12 Crazy Nights. Wind is gonna do that one.. Cause if I have to sit though 12 Angry Nights. Than deal off..



I still remember Grown Ups when first came out.. When I saw Adam Standler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade, all in the cover. I was excited.. Not ironically.. I really was excited to see this movie.

So of coarse, my only reason to see that movie was to...
continue reading...
#1: THE RING ITSELF:
He/She seems to have a personality of it's own.
It corrupts you. 你 want it even if 你 don't know why.
This is best shown in the beginning of Return of the King, when Smeagul and his cousin became immediately hostile towards each other..


#2: MURDOR:
The way Boromir describes it to the Council of Elrond. Despite inspiring one of the most classic memes..


#3:
The shot from the prologue of the men who will become the Nazgul, each holding a ring and standing in almost robotic uniformity, in contrast to the natural movements of the elves and the dwarves in the 前一个 shots. And...
continue reading...
Spoiler review..

So this has to be one of the most famish ghost 电影院 I could think of..

I wish I could go into this not knowing the twist.. But I been "Bruce Willis was dead all along" for my entire life.. As well as "I see dead people" memes..

But fact is. This movie really is "that good".

Bruce Willis has been known for the action films lke DIE HARD, at the time. He never did such a quite role.. But it really was some of the best 表演 I seen from Willis.. Just like Mel Gibson in Signs.. Which I still don't get why everyone hates that movie.. Espically after Chris Stuckmann's review..

Anyway.....
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
I read my 文章 POOR SQUIDWARD.. And doing this to 显示 his brief moments of epicness

TOP EIGHT AWESOME SQUIDWARD MOMENTS

#1: 比萨, 比萨饼 DELIVERY:
SpongeBob finally got the 比萨, 比萨饼 to the customer, who proceeds to 婊子, 子 and scream about how they didn't bring him a drink (which he totally didn't order) and refuses to take the pizza. SpongeBob returns to Squidward in hysterical tears, and Squidward — who, mind you, despises SpongeBob — goes back to the customer..
Customer: Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't payin' for that!
Squidward: Well, this one's on the HOUSE! (slams 比萨, 比萨饼 box...
continue reading...
#1: ROY EARLE - LA NOIRE:
Earle has little respect for others. This is evident from various racist and misogynistic remarks that he makes throughout the game.

Earle is also an opportunist. He 偷了 a roll of money worth $1,000 which was actually evidence, after claiming "the department owed him fifty," when the department only owed him $20. He also evidently took bribes and had a personal stake in the fixed boxing match between Albert Hammond and Kid Galahad. He also tells Phelps in The Black Caesar that he wanted to 包, 换行 up the case before he had to actually work overtime instead of just claiming...
continue reading...
#1: THE MYSTERIOUS MAN:
The strange man doesn't seem to be entirely human. He knows a startling amount of John's personal history despite John having no recollection of ever meeting him in the past, and John repeatedly asks who he is, and how he knows John, but the man always avoids the question. In his last encounter with John, he is seen standing 由 a 树 overlooking John's ranch at Beecher's Hope. He cryptically tells John that it's "a beautiful spot". In the Playable Epilogue, it's the excat spot that John, Abigail, and Uncle are buried after the US Army's attack on the ranch.
And even...
continue reading...
#5: BRIAN JEREMY:
He has a pretty childish way of agreeing on everything Billy says and does, and once imitated Johnny in a pretty immature way. He's willing to lie, 吻乐队(Kiss) ass, and stab people in the back if it means saving his own skin. And even if 你 spare him, he later tries to kill 你 anyway..


#4: JASON MICHAELS:
Yes Jason, keep fucking a Russian Mobster's daughter, and stealing man's expensive vodka. Clearly nothing bad is gonna come from that. Especially when your fully aware of how angry it's making him..


#3: ASHLEY BUTLER:
Her addiction means she'll sleep with anyone to get the 下一个 fix,...
continue reading...
#1: FRIDAY THE 13th, ORGINAL:
I just don't get how THAT gave us Jason Voorhees.. It's so stupid.


#2: KILL BILL:
It's weird.. I just always found this movie TOO action-y.. I don't know if it's Uma Thurman.. The over acting.. The subtitles.. 或者 just that I had to sit though it over a thousand times..
Either way.. I'll put this movie lower on this, but it's the quickest I could think of.


#3: SAW 3D:
This is when the series became that torture porn 你 THINK the series started as.. It's stupid.. The movie is stupid.


#4: RESIDENT EVIL:
No thank you..


#5: REVENANT:
Let me clarify.. I DO like this movie.. But I mainly just watch the first half, rarely the 秒 half.
But still.. Leonardo literary had to eat raw meat, crawl in the snow, and get ravaged 由 a CGI grizzly, to finally get that damn oscar..
Well.. Shit.. This is what my life has come to.

Reviewing one of the most, sadistic, mean spirited, shit your pants, scary, films ever made..

This film has NO limits.. They legit murdered real animals, cause the diractor is a sadist.. So much so, that he, no joke, was actually arrested and had to prove to a court room that it's only a movie, and that his actors are all fine.

So yeah.. 你 can all keep watching your Blair Witch Project.. 你 can keep believing that to be real.. But least nobody got arrested for that one.

Next time someone says "found footage was NEVER scary", maybe so them this...
continue reading...
THE KNOCKING GAME:

I have a friend at MHC who was willing to clean this up and pass it along. I’m not sure NoSleep is the right place for this story. There are no ghosts 或者 anything like that. I just wanted to share a creepy prank someone played on me and my friends.

---

Back when I was in high school, we used to play something called the Knocking Game. We’d go out to the abandoned McAllister house after dark, shut ourselves inside, turn off all the lights, and wait. Eventually, there would be a knock at the door. The knocking would get louder and louder until somebody finally chickened out...
continue reading...
Let's review the most overrated creepy 意大利面 ever..

Everyone loves too say it.. "Jeff the killer is overrated"..

I know what your thinking.

YOU: Connor, how can it be overrated if nobody likes it?..

Well... Shut up. I'M the sarcastic one here. Not you.

Let's take read what Wind says..

"Jeff is just another emotional 情绪硬核 teenager who wants to be edgy and scary when he is just annoying. There is nothing cool about being a psychotic murderer. There’s nothing great about glorifying someone who kills people. This is just pathetic. So Jeff is a kid who gets picked on so much to the point where he just...
continue reading...
One of the greatest examples of GOOD jump scares is Insidious.
This movie is so scary, yet so awesome.
Even the 3rd one was pretty enjoyable.
Elise Reiner is the protagonist of the third, and she's the most badass old lady ever.. Well. She's about 60 或者 something.. So.. Old-ish..

Anyway.. Here's what happens..

A married couple Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne), their sons Dalton (Ty Simpkins) and Foster (Andrew Astor), and infant daughter Cali have recently moved into a new home. One night, Dalton is drawn to the attic when he hears creaking noises and sees the door open 由 itself. He...
continue reading...
Read the MLP/GTA crossover if your wondering why Trixie is suddenly the stories cover, instead of Glazey, Glaze, Glaze..





Trixie and Saten are lying in bed.

Trixie: Ohh, cheer up.. There were.. Parts I liked.

Saten: This is so embarrassing.

Trixie: (kisses his cheek) It's okay, you've had it rough lately.

Saten: (sighs) Just give me another try.

Trixie: Ohh, jee.. 你 don't have to impress me babe.

Saten: Too be honest, it's 更多 for myself.

Trixie: (giggles) Fine, I guess we ca-

Dinky: I'm home.

Saten: Damn it.

Trixie: (laughs at this, and goes to get dressed).

SHORTLY AFTER:

Saten: (hugs Dinky) 嘿 kiddo,...
continue reading...