AVGN: 你 know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your 任天堂 Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking game? So, the hell with that shit!
AVGN 2: Yeah! The hell with that... damn shit!
AVGN 3: The hell with that damn... fucking shit!
AVGN 4: THE HELL WITH THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT!
AVGN 3: (nervously) Relax.
#2:
AVGN: (being forced 由 Jason Voorhees to make POSITIVE review of a really bad Friday the 13th game) What a wonderful game! The bare basics of left and right do not apply. And that's why this game is so great because it's free from all logic. Logic is for pussies!... Oh, and every great game has a map screen, and being that the game is mostly side scrolling, 你 can't tell which direction you're supposed to be going. But, that's cool. It's cool. It makes it 更多 challenging. I like that. Like when you're walking left but really heading to the right on the map? I 爱情 figuring that shit out. ...I 爱情 it. ... It's just great. (sees if Jason is there, and seeing he isn't speaks how he REALLY feels) LIKE PUKE UP A DONKEY'S ASS! WHAT A SHITLOAD OF MOTHERFUCKING BULLFUCK! I mean I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick, and if 你 thought I was serious about this game -- [ Jason Voorhees comes out and grabs AVGN 由 the throat and threatens him with a machete) -- you're absolutely right because I was just kidding! I was just kidding! I swear! I swear to God, I was just kidding! I was just kidding!! It's not a shitload of fuck! It's NOT a shitload of fuck! (Jason lets AVGN go and leaves)
#3:
AVGN: This game is so hard, it would actually be easier to go outside in a thunderstorm and try to dodge rain. It would be easier to walk barefoot without your toes 或者 heels touching the floor. It would be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper, while wearing boxing gloves! The fact that 你 can get hit only once pretty much means that you're weaker than every other enemy in the game. HOW DO 你 DIE FROM JUST TOUCHING A WALL!? I can understand if he's flying it like 200 miles per 小时 and he crashes into the wall! But the fact that he just touches the 墙 and dies is just ridiculous. I never read any of the comics, so I don't know what Silver Surfer's powers are, but isn't he supposed to be pretty strong? So why'd they make him into a wimp!? Why is he fucking up rubber ducks and weeping like a crybaby!? It's like some sort of fucking joke. Like, what if they had Bruce Lee tripping over his own shoelaces? It's a fucking insult! This game should have been classic! But instead, it's worthless! It's as worthless as this fucking LJN poster I have back here! MAN, I WOULD JUST PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING GAME!!! IN FACT, JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HAVING AN ANAL EVACUATION!!! (drinks beer) Fuck! (Takes the game out of the NES and throws it at the wall).
#4:
AVGN: Somewhere up here, there's a rope which, I don't know if it's important 或者 not. 你 blow up this gym locker 或者 whatever it is and he says, "I'd have to be desperate to tie that on and jump off! No, thanks!" Are 你 kidding me? Have 你 ever had a video game character talk back to 你 and say, "No, I'm not gonna do that!"? Going back to Mario again, what if Mario just 说 "You know, I'm really not feeling up to jumping over that platform. No thanks." This is ridiculous. I mean, he won't climb down with a rope, but he'll jump out a window and fucking kill himself?!
#5:
AVGN: So, when the game's over, the screen goes black, like a Mortal Kombat fatality. And the girl kicks 你 in the butt. How violent, she kicks 你 in the rear. Now I can take bodies getting slashed apart with the chainsaw, but a kick in the ass? That's fucking hardcore. Fuck this game. What a piece of shit.
#6:
AVGN: Some call it a platformer game, some call it an adventure game. I classify it as a "Where the fuck do I go?" kind of game. Yeah, one of those.
#7:
AVGN: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a shitty game!
#8:
AVGN: (after finishing the car-carrying stage 4) So I get to the goal, and guess what's next? Seriously, I want 你 to just take a guess what comes after this. 更多 rings. Yeah. What kind of game is this!? Is this some sort of insanity test!? Well, I'm done. I'm sorry, but that's all I can do. This game doesn't even qualify as shit! It's like the equivalent of shit taking a shit! This is unspeakably, shockingly bad. It's sickeningly loathsome! It's a fucking suffering to the mind! It's a bunch of fuck and it doesn't belong on this planet! Somebody's gotta take care of it! This is a job for the fucking Nerd! (unbuttons his 衬衫 to reveal a blue 超人 shirt. Flies up to the sun and tosses the game into into it while a rock version of 超人 Theme plays.)
#9:
AVGN: 你 know, there's been many games based on the Angry Video Game Nerd... which is me. Yeah, all these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people've been making games about myself. There's been so many games about me, I can't even keep up. Unlike the majority of games I've ripped apart, these ones were made 由 independent game developers, usually single handedly, all 由 their selves, and hopefully they will have growing careers and aspire to make better games than a whole company of Laughin' Joking Numbnuts ever could. (He's referring to the game publisher, LJN.) Another thing that makes these games different from the games I usually play, is that I have to play them on a computer. (The Nerd looks at the Commodore 64.) Hmm... (He shrugs his shoulders.) Well, anyway, the first AVGN game I'm gonna look at is: The Angry Video Game 由 Eric Ruth. This was the first AVGN game that ever came to my attention back in 2008. 你 might be wondering: what took me so long to get around to it? Well, the answer is simple: That's how long it took to load it on my Commodore 64!
#10:
AVGN: (Commenting on the game over screen) That's ingenious. That's the best game over screen I ever saw. For real! I'm actually being dead serious. Dead fucking serious. That's brilliant, right? "You and your 老友记 are dead. Game over". It's priceless. Like, I can't believe it! Isn't that a mean thing to say to kids? Nobody ever dies in Nintendo. They're either "defeated" 或者 they turn into an item and like float away. But here comes a game like Friday the 13th that just cuts the bullshit, shows some balls, comes flat out and says "You're fucking dead. And your friends, too." Beautiful. (Jason nods in agreement) And what if there was a sequel? It would have to say something even worse. Like, I got it. I got a good idea what it should say. It should say:
You're Dead.
Your 老友记 Are Dead.
Your Family's Dead.
Your Fucking Pets Are Being Skinned Alive.
Your Mom's A Fucking Whore.
你 Suck At Life.
The Whole World Hates You.
You're Going To Hell.
Live With It.
Game Over.
#1: HARRY POTTER SPOOF:
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most 流行的 story.
And not even my best work. It's just me 展示 off my 爱情 of Spike at the time, and 展示 SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most 流行的 story.
And not even my best work. It's just me 展示 off my 爱情 of Spike at the time, and 展示 SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
#1:
"I make 电影院 for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done 更多 girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are 你 chewing gum? 你 can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing 你 can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only 耶稣 thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
"I make 电影院 for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done 更多 girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are 你 chewing gum? 你 can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing 你 can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only 耶稣 thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
Farcry 3 should be a movie.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
#1: THEY HAVE OUR BACK:
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have 金属乐队 and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest youtobe guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have 金属乐队 and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest youtobe guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
This is a combination of Casino Royale with Quantum Of Solace. It all started in a place called Dodge City, where many stallions were pitting 动物 to fight against each other. Con had to find a certain 小马 that was gambling on the animals.
Con: Did 你 find her yet?
Hungry: No. I don't see her.
Con: Stop touching your ear!
Hungry: Sorry?
Gambling pony: *notices hungry*
Hungry: *pulls out gun*
Con: Put your gun away! I need her alive.
Con chased after the mare into a construction sight....
Warning: The owner of the copyright in this 粉丝 fiction has authorized it's use for members of this club to read, and enjoy, over, and over again without charge of any kind. Any other use of this 粉丝 fiction including any copying, reproduction 或者 performance of any of the material..... Ah, who am I kidding? I know you're not going to steal any of the content in this 粉丝 fiction.
Song: link
There's long been rumors as to how, exactly, rainbows are made in Equestria. While a great amount of Pegasi ponies are employed in the 彩虹 department...
continue reading...
Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
There's long been rumors as to how, exactly, rainbows are made in Equestria. While a great amount of Pegasi ponies are employed in the 彩虹 department...
