From an 电子邮箱 I got.

"The Rules" from the male side

We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.

1.    Men are NOT mind readers.

2.    Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. 你 need it down. 你 don’t hear us complaining about 你 leaving it down.

3.    Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon 或者 the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4.    Crying is blackmail.

5.    Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

6.    Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7.    A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

8.    Ask for what 你 want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable 答案 to almost every question.

10.    Come to us with a problem only if 你 want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11.    Anything we 说 6 months 以前 is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all 评论 become Null and void after 7 Days.

12.    If 你 think you’re fat, 你 probably are. Don’t ask us.

13.    If something we 说 can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes 你 sad 或者 angry, we meant the other one.

14.    You can either ask us to do something 或者 tell us how 你 want it done. Not both. If 你 already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15.    Whenever possible, Please say whatever 你 have to say during commercials.

16.    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17.    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. 南瓜 is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

18.    If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

19.    If we ask what is wrong and 你 say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know 你 are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20.    If 你 ask a 问题 你 don’t want an answer to, expect an answer 你 don’t want to hear.

21.    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything 你 wear is fine… Really!

22.    Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless 你 are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, 或者 Cars.

23.    You have enough clothes.

24.    You have too many shoes.

25.    I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

26.    Thank 你 for 阅读 this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the 长椅, 沙发 tonight, but did 你 know men really don't mind that, it’s like camping.