WHY MEN ARE HNEVER DEPPRESED
Men Are Just Happier People --
>What do 你 expect from such simple creatures?
>Your last name stays put.
>The 车库 is all yours.
>Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>Chocolate is just another snack.
>You can be President.
>You can never be pregnant.
>You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
>You can wear NO 衬衫 to a water park.
>Car mechanics tell 你 the truth.
>The world is your urinal.
>You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
>just
>too icky.
>
>You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
>Same work, 更多 pay.
>Wrinkles add character.
>Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
>New shoes don't cut, blister, 或者 mangle your feet.
>One mood all the time.
>Phone conversations are over in 30 秒 flat.
>You know stuff about tanks.
>A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>You can open all your own jars.
>You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>If someone forgets to invite you,
>He 或者 she can still be your friend.
>Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>Three pairs of shoes are 更多 than enough..
>You almost never have strap problems in public.
>You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
>Everything on your face stays its original color.
>The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>You only have to shave your face and neck.
>You can play with toys all your life.
>One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
>You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
>You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
>You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>You can do 圣诞节 shopping for 25 relatives
>On December 24 in 25 minutes.
>No wonder men are happier.
>Send this to the women who can handle it
>And to the men who will enjoy 阅读 it.
>
>___________________________________
>Men Are Just Happier People
>
>NICKNAMES
>· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
>Laura, Kate and Sarah.
>
>· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
>other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
>
>
>EATING OUT
>· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
>even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
>and
>none will actually admit they want change back.
>
>· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>MONEY
>· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
>sale.
>
>
>BATHROOMS
>· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
>shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
>
>· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
>A man would not be able to identify 更多 than 20 of these items.
>
>
>ARGUMENTS
>· A woman has the last word in any argument.
>· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>FUTURE
>· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>SUCCESS
>· A successful man is one who makes 更多 money than his wife can spend.
>
>· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>MARRIAGE
>· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
>
>DRESSING UP
>· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>
>· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>NATURAL
>· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>OFFSPRING
>· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
>dentist appointments and romances, best friends, 最喜爱的 foods, secret
>fears
>and hopes and dreams.
>
>· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>
>THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
>remembering the same thing!
>
>
>
>SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
>....
>and to the men who will enjoy 阅读 it.
>
>
>
WELCOME, TO PAW STEEL 3!!!
TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
GARTH VS. STEELE!!!
WHO WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
garth was just going on a cruise! same as steele. but they were just sitting right 由 each other.
"my fucking god this is the life!!!" garth said. "tell me about it!" steele said. they were just eating. then a lady 狼 just came and gave a check. "that will be 40$ for the food." the lady said. "here let me pay this!" steele said. "no let me pay it!" garth said. "dont worry i got this!" steele said. " i feel bad cause my 食物 was 更多 expenceive, just let go the check!" garth said. "dude let me pay it!" steele said. then they were pulling it from each other. "LET GO OF THE CHECK!" garth 说 with a strong growl. "no im not letting go this thing!" steele said. they looked at each other. then steele threw the 表 and they both stood.
to be continued. sorry didnt had time
TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
GARTH VS. STEELE!!!
WHO WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
garth was just going on a cruise! same as steele. but they were just sitting right 由 each other.
"my fucking god this is the life!!!" garth said. "tell me about it!" steele said. they were just eating. then a lady 狼 just came and gave a check. "that will be 40$ for the food." the lady said. "here let me pay this!" steele said. "no let me pay it!" garth said. "dont worry i got this!" steele said. " i feel bad cause my 食物 was 更多 expenceive, just let go the check!" garth said. "dude let me pay it!" steele said. then they were pulling it from each other. "LET GO OF THE CHECK!" garth 说 with a strong growl. "no im not letting go this thing!" steele said. they looked at each other. then steele threw the 表 and they both stood.
to be continued. sorry didnt had time
It was a warm cozy evening, Kate and Humphrey were already in bed. Every thing was well, for a little while. They had their door locked and all of sudden the door was shaking. Kate stirred and then woke up. She saw the door, and freaked out. She woke Humphrey to take a look. He went to the door, shaking with a butcher 刀 he always kept in his drawer, Kate heard someone calling her name, and began to cry. Humphrey approached his door, his 心 pounding, wanting to cry, but before he could open it the door opened 由 itself.