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Buttercup: *Doing pushups*
Grayback: Practicing for Mojo Jojo?
Blossom: I told her to do it earlier so she would get her energy back, but when he arrives, she'll be too tired.
Buttercup: I got energy to spare.
Eula: *Farts*
Buttercup: *Falls down* Eugh, what did 你 eat?
Eula: 塔科, 炸玉米饼 bell. You're girls. Why don't 你 fart?
Blossom: *Leaves with Buttercup*
Eula: Welcome to Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm Eula, and I'm the hostess tonight. Here's tonight schedule.

8 PM - Now

Con Mane: You'll Only Live Twice

8:30 PM - Later

Anata No Tenkei-Tekina 日本动漫 - Bak2Bak

Con Mane has returned.

We begin our story in Beijing, which was violently taken over 由 the koreans.

Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* 更多 like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do 你 need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that 你 know this, I gotta let 你 go *kills Con Mane*

A few days later the C.I.E found Con Mane dead in the warehouse.

P: Bring him back to life!
Doctor: We can't. It's past 24 hours.
S: Well, at least he died on the JOB.
Moneybit: Yeah, *cries*
P: What happened that got 你 into this Con?

Fillies & Gentlecolts I present to 你 the 5th INSTALLMENT of Con Mane called...

You'll Only Live Twice

Starring

Doughnut Joe...........................Con Mane
Rarity........................................Rareesa
Discord.........................Ernst Staverald Discord
Pinkie Pie.......................................P
Spike...............................................S
Lyra Heartstrings..........................Miss. Moneybit
British ponies..............................M.I.6
Korean ponies..............................bad guys

Cars provided 由

Chevronet
Equestrian MOTOR WORKS
Dodge
Canterlot
Horseche
& others that will be mentioned later.

The 下一个 日 in Canterlot

Moneybit: Welcome back Mr. Mane.
Con: Thank 你 Moneybit. I better be 更多 careful, cause I'll only live twice.
Moneybit: I hear ya.
P: Glad to see you're still alive 0007.
Con: Oh yes. Even though I died I'm on another life.
P: You're second. Now listen, I need 你 to go to England, and help M.I.6 stop someone from creating W.M.D's.
Con: What kind are we dealing with?
P: First it was grenades, now it's rockets.
Con: How big?
P: Big enough to destroy Manehattan.
Con: Well we can't allow that. I'm on my way.
S: Con. Wait up.
Con: Why?
S: P assigned me to go with you.
Con: Alright. Let's go to england.

So Con, and S along with his crew left for England.

Con: Where's the 小马 were meeting?
S: She should be over there.
Rareesa: Hello.
Con: Oh hey. Muffins are Derpy's 最喜爱的 food.
Rareesa: Yes, but I don't know what they are.
Con: Now what do 你 know about the 小马 that's creating all those W.M.D's?
Rareesa: Nothing, except for that he's not a pony.
S: We must get going now. Where's your car?
Rareesa: It's that car over there *points at sports car*
Con: Sweet! I'm driving.

After 17 分钟 of driving a sports car, Con arrived at a house.

S: Thanks for making us take the bus!
Con: My pleasure.
workers: Hello.
M.I.6 leader: Hello lads, what are 你 doing here?
Con: We're here to help 你 stop whoevers making all those W.M.D missiles.
M.I.6 leader: I also believe 你 have something for us.
S: Yes we do. Ok 你 guys, set up Little Mily.
M.I.6 leader: I'm quite curious Mr. ehh..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane.
M.I.6 leader: Oh right. I'm quite curious Mr. Mane, what is Little Mily?
Con: Oh she's a wonderful mare. Very small, quite fast, and can do anything. Just your type.
workers: *finish work*
M.I.6 leader: A toy helicopter?
S: No, it's not a toy. You'll see. Con, would 你 care to demonstrate?
Con: Sure. *climbs into helicopter*
S: 你 push this rotor, and it starts the chopper *pushes motor*
Con: *flies away*
Rareesa: Wow
Con: S! I see korean choppers heading toward me!
korean pony66: *shoot missiles*
Con: *blows up missiles*
S: *shoots pilot*
Korean pony42: We have a 小马 down!
Con: *shoots other pilot*

The C.I.E won, but they still had to find where the Weapons of Mass Destruction were being built.

When Con got back from flying Little Mily, M.I.6 found the building where the W.M.D's were being manufactured.

Rareesa: It's at the 太空 station?
Con: Looks like we might be going to where Luna was for 1,000 years.
S: We're not going to the moon Con.
Con: Well lets just stop these ponies now!

So they left, in Rareesa's EMW & with some pegasi carrying the others.

Rareesa: Here we are.
Con: Let's do this. *grabs MP5*

Con, and M.I.6 stormed into the 太空 station killing some ponies that got in there way.

S: *grabs pen*
Con: 你 gonna blow someone up?
S: Pens don't always explode *shoots tranquilizer*
korean pony72: Aaahh!
korean pony55: *shoots at Rareesa*
Con: I got this *kills korean pony55*
S: We need to get on that spaceship!
Con: Let me handle it *teleports his team onto ship*
S: Good.
M.I.6 leader: Now everypony get into a spacesuit.
korean pony21: Freeze!
korean pony33: Hold on, isn't that?
??: Con Mane. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Staverald Discord. They told me 你 were assassinated in Beijing.
Con: Yes, this is my 秒 life.
Discord: You'll only live twice Mr. Mane.
Con: Yeah, only. *shoots safety valve*
korean pony21: What did he do? *shoots Con*
Con: *uses magical shield*
M.I.6 leader: Looks like we're not going into space.
S: Quick, into the escape pods!
Discord: *launches them all* Nice try, until then Goodbye Mr. Mane. *leaves*
Con: Teleportation?
S: Now!

Luckily before the spaceship exploded, Con got everyone off.

M.I.6 leader: Good work Mr. Mane.
Con: Thanks, but what about Discord?
M.I.6 leader: We'll worry about him later, but first we have another assignment for 你 to help us with.

And what might that be? Is it...

A. Killing Discord
B. Finding a 痣, 鼹鼠 in M.I.6
C. Preventing a mad 小马 from launching 更多 missiles
D. Buying 茶 for Rareesa

















If 你 guessed C preventing somepony from launching 更多 missiles 你 are correct.

Con: So where is he?
M.I.6 leader: At the warehouse where 你 were killed.
Con: Oh great.
M.I.6 leader: Relax, with some practice you'll get ready.

M.I.6 was going to train Con with some KARATE.

Con: What exactly do I need to do this for?
M.I.6: Many koreans are experts in karate. Whoever you're going against will most likely know karate.
Con: Well then lets do this.

So Con practiced with the other 小马 until..

british pony53: Ambush! It's the Koreans!
M.I.6 leader: What? Let's go Con, I'll have to teach 你 更多 karate later.
korean pony98: Keep firing *kills 53rd british pony*
M.I.6 leader: We have a 小马 down! Send reinforcements!
Con: *kills two koreans*
korean pony40: We need 更多 reinforcements!
korean leader: Sorry, we cannot send anymore ponies out there.
korean pony40: Shit! Retreat!
Con: *kills 更多 ponies*
M.I.6 leader: Easy! They're retreating.
Con: Alright. Howsabout we practice 更多 karate?

The two ponies soon got back to where they were practicing karate.

M.I.6 leader: *throws kick*
Con: *grabs leg & breaks it*
M.I.6 leader: Bloody hell, 你 learn fast.
Con: Want me to fix that?
M.I.6 leader: No, I think your ready.
Con: Excellent.
M.I.6 leader: Now all 你 need to do is travel back to time after your death, and get back your first life.
Con: That's all?
M.I.6 leader: It isn't as easy as it sounds.
Con: Well if I can only live twice, I wanna keep both forever.
M.I.6 leader: What if 你 die from being too old?
Con: I get my 秒 life, and I come back as a foal. Good bye sir *time travels*

So let's see how this goes

Con: *sneaks onto dock*
korean pony55: What was that?
Con: *kills pony* 更多 like who was that?
korean pony21: I'll be right back I just wanna get some cider.
Con: *sneaks toward warehouse*
korean pony21: *shoots at Con*
Con: *dodges bullets*
korean pony21: All units, we have an intruder in the warehouse!
Con: *pulls out gun* Where is that manifest?
korean leader: What do 你 need the manifest for? Grenades? We made specially designed grenades to blow up an entire building. Now that 你 know this, I gotta let 你 go. *shoots gun*
Con: 你 missed loser. It's not just grenades your making.
korean leader: Correct. We're also making missiles. Not only that, but we're launching the ones that belong to Germany & Mexico, making it look like they waged war against each other.
Con: Not if I can help it. *shoots korean leader*
korean leader: I'm hit, need backup now!

5 ponies then arrived at the scene.

Con: *kills all 5*
korean leader: *hits Con*
Con: *runs into warehouse*
korean leader: *follows*
Con: (Where are the missiles being launched)
korean leader: *grabs grenade*
Con: *shoots grenade*
korean leader: *blows up*
korean pony82: Stop! Hooves up.
Con: *hits pony* where are the missiles being launched?
korean pony82: *shoots Con's hoof*
Con: *pushes 小马 over ledge*
korean pony82: I'm still alive!
Con: Then tell me where the missiles are being launched!
korean pony82: On a boat. It should be in the docks.
Con: Thanks.

0007 then went toward the 船, 小船 that would be launching the missiles.

korean pony96: We have an intruder!
Discord: Let him on, let him on.
Con: *pushes 小马 off boat*
Discord: Now kill him.
korean pony96: *grabs knife* Banzai!!
Con: *shoots pony* Wrong part of asia.
Discord: Welcome Mr. Mane.
Con: Hello Discord. So you're trying to get Germany into war with Mexico.
Discord: Yes, precisely. Not only that, but I'll be launchcing my own.
Con: What for?
Discord: To destroy all of China so that Korea can have it.
Con: Not on my watch *hits Discord with clock* 或者 on your clock.
Discord: It's not mine *grabs gun*
Con: *shoots it* Don't launch the missiles & I'll let 你 live.
Discord: I have to. *goes for button*
Con: *kills Discord* Finally! *time travels back to present*

None of the missiles were launched, but Con may deal with the same enemy in his 下一个 adventure, On Celestia's Secret Service

The End
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Me
added by Mauserfan1910
Source: desu
added by Mauserfan1910
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Two officers were in their car, parked on the side of the Garden State Parkway. They were watching for speeders while enjoying doughnuts.

Officer 35: *Hears gunfire* What the hell is that?
Officer 82: *Listens to the gunfire as well, then looks in the mirror* A gunfight plus car chase.
Officer 35: *Sees Alan and Stuart in the Oldsmobile* That's Alan Martinez.
Officer 82: Who's with him?
Officer 35: One of the new guys. I think it's Stuart McKing.
Officer 82: Well let's help them out. *Activates his sirens and chases the guys chasing Alan and Stuart as they pass*
Officer 35: *Talking on the radio*...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEdC4kuJFms

It was raining in Cape May. Harry drove his Cadillac to the police station. Camryn was also with him.

Camryn: Wait here. *Runs out of the car into the station*
Captain Ford: Camryn, what's the rush?
Camryn: Harry's back!
Police Officers: Yeah!!
Harry: *Walks in*
Police Officers: Harry!!
Camryn: 你 ruined the surprise. I told 你 wait in the car.
Harry: I had to use the bathroom.
Officers: *Laughing*

After a few minutes, Harry was back in his car driving around Cape May with Camryn.

Harry: The rain is still coming.
Camryn: I like rain. As crazy as it sounds,...
continue reading...
added by Seanthehedgehog
added by Seanthehedgehog
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 4sew4yretyuu
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 4sew4yretyuu
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 4sew4yretyuu
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 98hwe
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Me
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 54dr6fyuhji
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 54dr6fyuhji
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 54dr6fyuhji
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Me
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Me
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: Me
posted by Seanthehedgehog
I was flying south, away from Nova Scotia, when Gergely spotted me from the ground below. I was too high up to notice him.

Gergely: That's Sean alright. I can tell 由 the paint scheme.
Alinah: Should we follow him, and try to have him killed?
Gergely: We won't try to have him killed. We will succeed in having him killed. Gather the troops.

40 分钟 later

Nik: *Playing 《我的世界》 on the laptop* How the hell does this game still exist?
Britton: Oh dear god, 你 hate that game? You're not a human.
Nik: So what Britton?

Dan Noone came onto the screen in a live chat

Nik: Dan? 你 interrupted my Minecraft...
continue reading...