'Reign' recap: 'Playing With Fire' 

A wedding, a proposal, and a royal hunt. Our ladies are really l-i-v-i-n these days. There are so many juicy developments in “Playing With Fire,” and I haven’t even mentioned the village fire, a shirtless and sooty James, the return of a fan favorite, or the Vampire King. Welcome to

Because Queen Mary is our moon and sun, let’s start this party in Scotland. And a party it truly is, because guess what? Mary’s on vacation! Vacation for Mary consists of hanging out in the Scottish countryside with her horse dog and throwing berries into her BFF’s mouth. Queens are weird.

Both ladies are dealing with some love problems. Mary refuses to talk about Gideon. She had to do what she had to do, and now she’s just waiting for Darnley to appear. Greer, on the other hand, fills Mary in on the trouble at home with Castleroy. He’s a different man than he was before prison. He wants nothing to do with anyone and tells Greer to live a life away from him. She wants nothing of the sort. My fingers are still crossed for a Greer and James hookup before we put this show to bed. Get on it, beautiful people!

Turns out, Mary doesn’t have to wait too long for Darnley to show his face — or propose, for that matter. He interrupts her alone time in the fields and tells her it’s time they do this thing. He wants to join forces and make a play for the throne. Oh, and also have babies to continue their lineage. Please remember, this is their first time meeting. Seems like a real stage five clinger to me, but such is politics, I guess.

Marrying Darnley has been Mary’s plan all along, so obviously, she’s into getting this over with. Before they can make things official, she has another pressing matter to attend to: Foxy Knoxy is at it again. By which I mean, he is traveling to a peasant harvest festival in order to spread that word that Mary is a pretentious French lady who will let her people starve before helping them. She gets this intel thanks to her brother James, who has “entered the enemy’s camp.” Get your mind out of the gutter — he and Emily Knox only kissed, but he did get some alone time in Knox’s study and a look at his date book. James is like, really, really good at seducing naive women in terrible marriages in order to get information on their husbands.

So Mary, James, Darnley, and Greer head to the same festival in order to prove Knox wrong. Instead of just words, they give the people food. People love food! The PR plan works, Mary looks great, and Knox goes running. But not before he sets the little village on fire. You read that right. He does it in order to stop Mary’s Goodwill Tour, but it back-um-fires. She, James, and Greer spring into action and end up looking like heroes. Let the record show that James is a certifiable hottie. Without even thinking, he rips his shirt off to douse it in water and help fan flames. He also does it, I imagine, because he is ripped as hell.

Darnley’s first instinct is to flee. But when he sees the villagers fawning over Mary, he seems perturbed. Moments later, another fire starts, and almost immediately, Darnley runs out of the house with a child in his arms. He’s a hero now, too. It is all very suspicious, and James notices.

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